by Shin Towada
He bit his lip. I can’t believe this is really happening, I can’t accept it. But I have to tell him.
“My aunt put all of my books out with the recycling.”
“What? All of them? What the hell?”
“Your magazines went too. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“Who cares about that right now?! What happened to your books, where are they?”
What can I even do? They’re not where I thought they might be. They’re never coming back.
“It’s too late.”
If I don’t tell him that I think that, Hide will go crazy with worry.
Kaneki desperately attempted to smile. Hide started to furiously run his fingers through his own hair. He turned and looked at Kaneki with passion in his eyes.
“Man, are you just going to take that?”
The feelings he had been trying to keep under control were suddenly unleashed by his friend’s very serious, very un-Hide-like stare.
No, I’m not going to take it. Because those books were important to me. And the ones I bought myself were good too. But I can’t lose my dad’s books. They let me remember him. They eased my solitude. Why did she have to do this? What have I ever done to her? It’s just too cruel—too, too cruel!
But Kaneki clamped his hands over his mouth.
In times like these his mother’s voice came to him. Telling him to be a person who is hurt, rather than one who hurts others.
“It’s all right.”
Kaneki smiled.
“I’m fine.”
As long as I live in this house, I just have to shut up and take it.
“Everything’s fine.”
But Kaneki rubbed his chin, as if his hand were unable to stop moving from anxiety. The gesture was reflected back to him in Hide’s eyes.
“Got it,” Hide said loudly, and nodded. Whether in acceptance or agreement with Kaneki’s words, it was a disproportionate response. He was trying to be strong to shake off Kaneki’s worries.
Before Kaneki understood what Hide meant by “Got it,” Hide had already walked past him. He turned and saw him walking into the Asaokas’ house.
“Hey! Hide!”
When he chased after him into the house, Hide was shouting. When Kaneki’s aunt came out into the hallway, Hide yelled, “Did you seriously throw away his books? Some of those were mine too!”
At that, Kaneki’s aunt looked upset. “Yours?”
“Yes! Really important stuff! And you actually threw it all away?!”
Hide shouted exaggeratedly, his eyes fixed on Kaneki’s aunt.
“Or can I catch it before they take it all away? Oh God, and the Yuu-chan’s Sandwich Party: ‘I’ll let you have some if you’re good’ special feature! No!”
Hide clasped his hands together like he was praying as he walked toward her. She didn’t seem to want to deal with this anymore. She took a glance at Kaneki, then said, “I don’t know.”
“Right, I’m gonna go look! Oh, and I guess you threw Kaneki’s books out by mistake, too, so I’ll get those too!”
“Do as you like,” she said uneasily, before grumbling her way back to the living room. Hide, full of adrenaline, pumped his fist in the air.
“All right, man, let’s go!”
And just like that he ran out of the house.
“H-Hide, where are you going?”
Kaneki trailed behind him, confused by all the latest developments.
“To find your books!” he screamed.
“My books?”
“Yeah!”
Hide’s facial expression all but shouted, Well, duh, presenting Kaneki with an option. It brought light to Kaneki’s heart when he’d started to think there was nothing to do but give up.
“B-but where?”
“I told you, didn’t I? How I cried when my favorite manga got thrown out?”
He told me that at the café. Not much of a story.
“Well, I studied up after that. So I know exactly where the books in this area go!”
Hide laughed confidently, then said, “C’mon, let’s go!” and started off. Kaneki followed after him, his hands balled up into fists, realizing that his voice had finally reached Hide after all.
“Oh, that house. Yes, I collected them. I remember because there were so many.”
When they went to the collection center and asked the staff, as soon as Kaneki said the address the trash collector knew where he meant. Kaneki and Hide turned to look at each other.
“So they are here!”
“Well, that is the thing, boys. You see, there are rather a lot of books here …”
It was true, there was a mountain of books behind him. Finding Kaneki’s books would be like finding the proverbial needle in the haystack.
“Kaneki, will you be able to tell?”
“I’ll take a look.”
Still, he looked hopeful that they might be there somewhere. Kaneki reached out to the mountain of books as if he were going to tackle it. Hide started looking too, for the magazines he’d lent Kaneki.
The next thing they knew, the sun had gone down and the first stars had started twinkling in the sky. Kaneki silently rolled up his sleeves and left the sweat on his brow alone—he had just found a women’s magazine that looked familiar buried under some books.
“This is …”
He pulled it out in a hurry, only to find that it was a bundle of magazines bound together with clear tape. The cover had the name of Hide’s favorite band on it.
“Hide! Magazines! The ones you lent me!”
“No way!”
Relieved that he could at least return the magazines to Hide, Kaneki held them out, but Hide didn’t even look. He began digging around where Kaneki had found them.
“Look, man, your magazines …”
“Who the hell cares? If those were here, then your books ought to be around here too!”
He was surprised, but when he looked at where Hide was digging, he started seeing familiar covers—a bundle of books by Osamu Dazai. And that wasn’t all. When he really started looking, lots of the books Hide dug out were Kaneki’s.
“I’ve always been good at treasure hunts!” Hide said proudly. He looked ecstatic.
“Thank you,” Kaneki said softly, overcome.
Hide crouched down to look Kaneki in the eye, then smiled.
“This one’s soaked! That bitch!”
With that word, Hide brought it all crashing back down. Kaneki bit his lip trying to keep his face from flushing. He nodded.
“You found lots! Quite a lot indeed. Hm, shall we give you a lift back?”
The staff member looked on in sympathy at the two boys, who were exhausted from their search. He decided to send two employees with them. Once the books were loaded into a truck’s bed, Kaneki and Hide got in the back too and lay down. They weren’t used to working that hard, and they hurt all over, but the vibrations as they drove were a comfort to their tired bodies.
“But what if she throws them out again?” said Kaneki timidly.
“Just tell her the staff said that they were all collector’s items that’ll be worth something in five or six years’ time! Might change her point of view if she thought there was money in it.”
“But why five or six years’ time?”
Hide put his arms behind his head.
“Because then we’ll be adults. And when we’re adults we can do whatever we want. Listen, Kaneki. Are you gonna go to college?”
“Oh, um, yeah.”
“So when you go to college you can finally live on your own!”
Hide was full of good thoughts.
“On my own …”
“That’s right! And we can hang out as much as we want! And finally have girls over!”
“Man, I don’t have a girlfriend. And neither do you!”
“Idiot, I’m telling you what college life is gonna be like! All you have to do to get girls is go to college!”
“Unbelievably wrong.”
&
nbsp; But Hide’s great expectations could not be stopped by a little comment like that.
“Even you might find a pretty girl who likes books!”
“W-whaaat?”
I can’t keep up with Hide’s positivity, but in the bottom of my heart I always thought there was a little light in the darkness. I thought I was gonna be locked away in my aunt’s house forever, all freedom taken away. But I’m getting older, and soon I’ll be able to stand on my own two feet.
“It’s gonna be great!”
The carefree smile on Hide’s face brought out a hint of a smile from Kaneki. When I live by myself I can finally have somewhere to belong.
“Where do you wanna live? Because I was thinking …” Hide asked, his train of thought still rolling ahead. Kaneki listened to him talk, as he looked up at the stars.
It wasn’t long before they pulled up in front of the Asaoka house. The two staffers yelled out to Kaneki’s aunt.
“A child who treasures books this much will grow up to be a fine man! Take good care of him.”
This was uncomfortable advice for her to hear. She was not the kind of woman to listen to what others had to say. But after that, she never again interfered with Kaneki’s things, perhaps thinking that anything to do with Kaneki wasn’t very important at all. It was easier for Kaneki to deal with indifference, and he became a little more defiant.
Maybe this is how people actually grow up, how they change. How they become free.
Things are hard now, sure, but one day I’ll escape from here.
This spark of hope became his driving force.
“Oh, Rize, your blood type’s AB?! Me too!”
And then, from one cage to another—
The way she looks as she goes her own way, unshaken, is brilliant, and will never, ever leave me.
The Ghouls in the 11th Ward had some rules that must be strictly obeyed.
1. Don’t kill on another Ghoul’s hunting ground.
2. “Residence tax” was due at the end of each month.
3. One meal a month.
4. Never leave tracks.
5.
5 …
These strict rules had been made by Hagi, the leader of the Ghouls in the 11th Ward, because the Ghouls in that area were living under the oppression of regular observation. But thanks to them, rule of order was maintained in the 11th Ward and the Ghouls there could live without fear of the CCG. They had their issues, certainly, but they never had to worry about their own safety.
Banjo Kazuichi was one of those Ghouls, nursing his resentment toward Hagi while following the rules he’d made. Other, more positively inclined Ghouls thought that, although it would be great for all Ghouls to have an equal playing field and therefore trust each other, there was no chance of it happening anytime soon.
“What are you gonna do about it anyway?” said Banjo, when suddenly, right in front of him appeared Ms. “Binge Eater” herself, Rize.
II
“Four bodies with Ghoul traces left on them have been found this month already!”
It was a meeting of Ghouls in the 11th Ward. One of the Ghouls gathered around the table, Usu, wore a pained expression across his broad face as he spoke.
“Who could it have been but you, Rize?”
The girl this line of questioning was aimed at had her nose stuck in a paperback, despite sitting in the meeting.
She lifted her gaze from the page and gave an alluring smile. She looked very calm despite currently being under fire in front of a lot of people.
“Oh … are you talking about me?”
“Don’t play dumb! This kind of thing never happened until you got here!”
Finding four abandoned corpses in one month in the orderly 11th Ward was a big deal. As Usu had said, nobody sprang to mind except Rize. The other Ghouls around the table looked at her with hard expressions too.
“The one left at the beachfront park was especially easy for people to see. Almost asking for someone to find it!”
This is a threat to our lives. And Usu is trying, through his thorough condemnation, to make her reflect so as never to do something like that again.
But then Rize tilted her head strangely. “Beachfront park?”
“Yes! A girl’s body. Anything could’ve happened if I hadn’t gone down there first thing in the morning and taken care of it!”
The 11th Ward bordered the sea, and there was a big park by the beach. I guess Usu was the one who found the corpse. But Rize started shaking her head in disbelief.
“I don’t remember her. Maybe she was another Ghoul …”
“You don’t even know!”
Rize looked like she was about to confess something. She did not nod.
“Usu, maybe not all of them are Rize’s kills.”
The Ghoul defending Rize was Yuri Akanuma, who was sitting right next to her. Yuri was a newcomer who had lived in the 11th Ward less than a year, but unlike Rize, she lived by the rules. She was attractive and sweet, blended in well with human society, had a job, and was known as a sensible person among the Ghouls of the ward.
“Then who are you saying killed them, Yuri?”
“I don’t know … I just think pinning it all on somebody is not the right thing to do. Is it?”
Yuri looked around at the other Ghouls in the room, hoping to find someone in agreement.
“I agree. The matter should’ve been investigated thoroughly and confirmed before talking about it here.”
But only one person backed them up—Banjo. Rize’s the Ghoul with the street name “Binge Eater.” Who else would we really think did it? At this, Rize’s eyes looked sad.
“Now, we could just as easily be talking about Hana—”
“Thank you, Banjo. But there’s no help in being suspected. And they’ve just come here again …”
Banjo had tried his best to protect her, but then Hagi, who had been silent all this time, spoke up.
“She has only denied the body found on the beachfront. Rize, do you admit to the other three?”
Tension ran through the room at the sound of his voice. But Rize did not falter. “I don’t know,” she answered ambiguously. She’s not afraid of him. Because she knows her own strength. She looked brilliant to Banjo.
“We will continue the investigation. But Rize, don’t push your luck.”
The meeting ended with Hagi’s usual declaration.
“Don’t forget the rules.”
“It’s awful to act like everything’s your fault. And don’t you think we should be allowed to say something when it isn’t?” Yuri said to Rize, once the meeting was over and they’d left the room.
“Usu is really tough on newcomers. That was pretty rough. You All right?” Banjo said, taking the opportunity to jump in. Rize lowered her eyebrows.
“I’m not used to the system here in the 11th Ward, so there are always gonna be some misunderstandings. Thank you both for standing up for me,” she said, putting her hands together in thanks. Banjo wanted to continue the conversation, but Rize seemed to want to end it there.
“If something happens again, I know I can count on you,” she said, flipping her black hair, then left.
“Banjo, do you … like Rize?” Yuri asked him, watching Rize as she left.
“W-what? What are you talking about?”
“You’re always hanging around her.”
“That’s—I’m just …”
But it was true, what Yuri said. When she was around he watched her every move, and he followed after her like he was stuck to her side. Banjo hunched his shoulders, rubbing his hands together nervously.
“Anyway, someone’s leaving corpses on the beachfront. Whose work do you think it is?”
Unconcerned by seeing a big man such as Banjo fumbling like he was, Yuri continued.
“Could be another Ghoul using Rize as a scapegoat.”
“What do you mean by that?” Banjo straightened his back in surprise.
“The 11th Ward is relatively peaceful
because we all play by the rules, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t still have our Ghoul instincts. Maybe someone’s been watching Rize, who still follows her instincts, and took a little inspiration …”
As Yuri said, Rize played by her own rules, and her instincts only seemed heightened under these oppressive conditions.
“Now anything can be pinned on Rize. Maybe somebody’s just using her to piggyback off of. Poor Rize,” Yuri said. Then, realizing she’d said too much, she left.
Someone’s using Ms. Binge Eater as a cover. If that’s true, that’s unforgivable. Banjo huffed to himself.
III
“Wow, did that really happen?”
The day after the meeting, Banjo was in a room in an abandoned building used as a hangout spot, giving the full rundown to Ichimi, Jiro, and Sante, who hadn’t been at the meeting. The three of them, in matching hoods and masks, were longtime friends of Banjo’s. They didn’t take him very seriously because he was always unwilling to act with them.
“Well, she is known as the girl with the big appetite. And Usu’s the one who always has to clean up. Of course he’s angry,” Jiro said, stating his objective opinion while flipping through a magazine.
“But there’s no evidence it was her.”
“Nor is there any evidence it wasn’t her, Banjo,” Ichimi said calmly. Banjo frowned.
“Well, Yuri has a point, you know. Right now, whatever anyone does can be pinned on Rize,” Sante said, providing a voice of moderation.
“Exactly!” shouted Banjo. “I can’t let someone get away with using her.” He balled his hand up into a fist and looked around for agreement. Ichimi’s lack of excitement was inversely proportional to Banjo’s passion by a factor of one million.
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“Catch him! And if doubts become clear, then I’m sure Rize will be happy …”
Seeing Banjo looking so passionate, the other three were taken aback.
“Well, yes, probably.”
“Might this not backfire?”
“You might get killed …”
“Can it, guys. Anyway, that’s what I’m doing!”
Banjo thrust his fist into the air.