by S. N. Garza
I did as he said and I leaned in, grabbing ahold of his front belt loops. I felt a groan vibrate from his back and then he turned on the bike and in a flash, we were weaving through the streets towards home.
I wasn’t wearing a helmet so I don’t think Deke even planned to come to the school. But I rested my head against his back and I could feel the thump of his heartbeat. It was such a relaxing rhythm.
We made it to my house, where he parked and walked me inside. I figured he’d go home but instead, he turned and locked the front door. My eyes looked to the clock and it was only ten thirty.
“I should call my parents and let them know I’m home.”
He nodded but stayed quiet. He was acting a little strange, but I was happy he didn’t go home right away.
After calling my parents and telling them I was tired and wanted to come home early, all they say is get some rest since church was in the morning.
I walked back to the living room to see Deke exactly where I left him.
“Everything okay, Deke?”
Instead of answering, he nodded as he looked me over. His eyes darkened like the night sky.
“Deke? What are you thinking?”
“Things I shouldn’t be thinking about.”
“Hmmm…well. If you’re not going to tell me.” I walked over to the old digital clock and radio my parents kept by the TV.
I turned on the radio, waiting to find a station with a good song. Then finally, I Don’t Dance by Lee Brice came on the country station and I walked back to Deke.
“Dance with me.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Deke, I said dance with me. Now.”
Something sparked in his eyes and he reached out, hauling me close to him. Our bodies met and one of his hands slid down my arm until it cupped my palm. The other spread wide on my lower back, keeping me firm and in place.
“You ready, babygirl?”
I nodded. My free hand went to his shoulder and it felt so natural to lay my head on his chest. Then, like we’ve been doing it for years. He moved me around my living room with gentle sways and turns. It felt so beautiful and perfect. Then he did something I didn’t expect. He dipped me, swinging my head around and when he brought me back up, I couldn’t help but meet his eyes with wide open ones. Which must have stayed on me the whole time. A smile lit up his face and I returned it. This. Feels. Magical.
How in the world did he know how to dance like this? He spun me around the living room until the very last beat of music played. When it ended and a fast beat country song came on, he winked saucily at me.
“Throw them shoes off, girl.”
I held on and did as he told me. The shoes landed in the corner without another thought. Then we let Joe Nichol’s Yeah lead us into a faster paced dance, where he twisted, spun, and swung me around like we were perfectly made for each other. Right then I knew. I wanted him more than anything I’ve ever wanted before. I wanted him to have all of me. Tonight.
When the song was over and we stopped to catch our breaths, he laughed big and his smile was radiant and it made him look carefree and breathtaking. I held onto his shoulders and reached up, pulling him down a little until my lips landed on his.
My first kiss. I dared to stroke his lip with my tongue and his intake of breath caught me by surprise. His cinnamon taste was delicious. I finished the kiss and backed away. His hands were spread wide on my back, keeping me close.
“Penelope.” His eyes were black obsidian and hot like molten lava. “What was that?”
“I’ve been wanting to do that for months. Deke, I want you. I don’t know when that changed but it has and I, well…I want you to be my first. I know you. I trust you and I love you. You’re my best friend. You’re the only one I want to have that part of me.” His eyes just widened and with the expression of horror on his face, I knew I went too far. Crap. Idiot. “Yeah. I’m sorry. God, this so embarrassing.”
Just as I closed my eyes I felt his hands cup my face and his mouth met mine in a rush of sweet heat. His lips sipped at mine with reckless abandon.
One hand filtered through my hair, holding me close while the other pressed against my lower back, bringing me straight up against his body. I felt the evidence of his desire, hard against my stomach.
He disconnected our kiss and laid his forehead on mine. His grey eyes smoky with heat and need.
“You have to be absolutely sure, Penelope. I don’t want to ruin this.”
“I don’t either, but haven’t you, you know? Felt anything more than just—
“Hell, yes.” Then his lips crashed home on mine and he bent, lifting me high. “Wrap your legs around me, babygirl.”
I did and he walked us to my room, shutting off the living room lights and turned the lights on dim in my bedroom. The bedroom I shared with him for so long. He closed and locked the door. He walked around to the foot of the bed and lowered me to my feet.
“Turn around, Penelope.”
I did as I was told and he brushed my hair to the side, his fingertips sending sparks of lightning down my spine as he reached the zipper of the dress. I felt his warm breath against my skin, making me shiver.
“Easy, Penelope.”
I tried to calm my breathing but it was like I was a bundle of nervous energy ready to combust. His fingers delved inside to unhook the mesh lining of the petty skirt.
When the zipper was down, Deke’s hands roamed back upward, catching the small sleeves and pulled them down my arms until I was free of them.
His whispered sweet Jesus sent more tingles down my back. My arms got goose bumps. He pushed the skirt over my hips and the dress and petty skirt pooled around my feet.
“Fuck me.”
Was that a bad thing? I turned around to see him and his wide eyes raised even more when it seemed pretty impossible to raise them any higher.
“Sweet mother of God.” His eyes roamed over my body until I couldn’t take his holding stare any longer. I went to cross my arms over my chest, but his hands shot out and kept them to my sides.
“Deke. You’re staring at me.”
“Yes, Penelope. I am.”
“It’s a little unnerving.”
“To say the least. Where did you get these?”
“A mall in Houston.”
“You look like a masterpiece.” His eyes grazed over me and he took my hand, turning me around this way, then the other way. “Damn, you were always beautiful, but like this, it’s like you’re sin and heaven all in one package. No matter what, you’re unforgettable.”
That made my body rush with pleasure and red crept up my neck and face. He gently turned me back facing him and the smile he gave me was one of desire, need and tenderness.
He took each piece off of me like he was unwrapping a present. I felt a little nervous, but he made me feel so comfortable, safe and secure that I knew I was making the right choice. That he was the right decision. When he curled down each thigh high, he kissed my knees. When I was completely bare to him, his shoulders sagged with a sigh of pleasure.
“Now you.” I say with just a hint of shyness in my tone. I’ve never seen a naked man before. I wanted to savor this moment.
“Anything you desire, Penelope. Anything at all.”
He took off his clothes slowly, not that I haven’t seen him do it hundreds of times before, but now it was different. He kept his boxer briefs on, where I saw the straining erection tight against the fabric.
“I’ll keep these on for now. First, I want to take care of you. I want this to be the best night of our lives. I sure as hell will never forget it.”
“Me either.”
He did things to my body that made me cry out in pleasure. I never knew his tongue could do that there. He wound up my body like a jewelry box ballerina and let me play out until I couldn’t help the building up of something low in my tummy. My breath was hitching. Needing something. Wanting more.
“Let go, Penelope.”
And
I did. I cried out his name and then I felt him shuffling above me. Ridding himself of his underwear.
“You still om birth control?”
“Yes.”
His strong, broad body came over mine and I felt him right there. Waiting.
“Open those eyes for me, babygirl.”
I did and looked into those grey depths and I reached up, holding onto his shoulders.
“I promise to take such good care of you, Penelope.”
And he did. The pain had been quick but then after I got used to the feel of him, it was nothing but the sweetest pleasure I’ve ever known.
I felt myself build up into another storm, and when I felt myself go, his ragged breath was at my ear, whispering to me how much he loved me. How perfect I felt and how beautiful and sweet I was.
When both our bodies were spent, I felt depleted of the energy I felt earlier and I closed my eyes as his hot breath panted over my neck and shoulder. I was falling fast asleep when I knew I couldn’t have mistaken his whisper this time.
“You’re mine now, Penelope. No one else’s. All mine.”
Chapter 9
Penelope
Mmmm…I wonder how waking up next to Deke after what we did last night would feel like. I felt changed somehow, but also the same.
Deke had been so tender and sensitive with me the entire night. Making sure I felt no pain when he finally pushed past my barrier. I didn’t lie when I told him I wanted to give all of myself only to him and him alone. I never dated. Well, I tried but it always ended up an epic fail. I really didn’t go out much either. Only when Vera pushed my hand. I worked four nights a week so the other three I still fed my Netflix addiction.
This though…how he made my body feel and all the wicked things he showed me, felt like we reached a whole new level in our relationship.
“Mmmm.” That was all I could say as I felt my body awaken. The newness that tingled between my legs felt sensitive, warm and slick. I was lying naked on my belly and I reached out towards Deke, but came back empty.
Wait. What? Empty? I looked at my clock and it only read five in the morning. He had at least another hour before he had to leave before my parents got home.
“Deke?”
I turned and that’s when I felt how sore my vagina was. I gasped and clutched my legs together to staunch off the lingering soreness and wetness I felt down there. My thighs were still coated with arousal and his release. It had been a perfect night.
Maybe he was in the bathroom or in the kitchen eating. He sometimes did that. Yeah. It was still too early. My parents didn’t get home until seven.
I waited a few more minutes, but I didn’t hear any pipes creaking. No water running. I felt that side of my bed and it was already cold.
Strange.
I got up and felt the wetness on my thighs. Was that normal? I wrapped my blanket around my naked body and when I looked down, I saw that my sheets had a few pink stains dotting the fabric. Oh, crap. I was going to have to scrub that out before my parents got home. I didn’t regret it, but that would be very bad for my parents to know I made love to Deke on prom night. I knew they wanted me to wait until I was married. In a way I hoped that Deke would be that man. He knew how I felt about him now. My real feelings. Maybe after his own declaration, he felt the same way.
I walked on the cool floor towards the hallway.
“Deke?”
All of a sudden, my heart began to pound. Where was he? He usually left a little after six. And he always woke me up to say bye. I leaned against the bathroom door, jiggled the knob and it opened to an empty room.
No one was in the kitchen. He wasn’t in the pantry room that led to the back door. He never went to my parent’s room and had no reason to go in there now so I didn’t even bother.
“DEKE!” I ran to the living room. Nothing. The only thing noticeable was my shoes in the corner. What was going on here?
I went to the house phone hanging on the wall in the kitchen, our only phone, and dialed his number. It rang twice before his voicemail picked it up.
He declined my call? He never declines my calls. I didn’t call him often but when I did, he always answered. I called again and when it rang three times I had a little hope but then once again, his voicemail popped up. Even I knew the difference between ringing until the voicemail came on and when the phone call was declined. It didn’t matter what kind of phone you had, house phone, cellphone, business phones—they all rang at least five to seven times before an answering machine picked up. So I let the phone call go to voicemail again and left him a message. And dang it. I couldn’t keep the fear from rising in my voice.
“Deke? This isn’t funny. What happened? You never leave without saying bye to me. Is everything okay? Your dad okay? Johnny okay? Was it because of what we did? Did we really go too far? Was it something I said? Was I...bad? Uh. Yeah. Please. Please call me. I’m really starting to freak out. Bye, Deke. Love you.”
I wasn’t ashamed of feeling love for him. It didn’t matter if he was my boyfriend, or just my friend. I loved him either way.
I hung up, my heart jumping up into my throat. Maybe I did it wrong. Just like everything else I’ve done in my life, maybe I was unsatisfactory.
Deke was no virgin. He’s slept with tons of girls. I always heard chicks giggling and bragging about him. Of course they were all adults and older than me but Deke seemed to spread himself a little thin with the way they talked about him. I’ve heard the rumors but I’ve only heard it from a distance. I tried not to pay attention to them. This was my Deke they were talking about.
Anyway.
So here I stood. Naked. In a blanket and alone. I looked around my house and thought…what have I done?
No. Don’t think like that.
He must have had an emergency. Yeah. That must be it. I was just acting like a silly-nilly. Shaking myself out of my stupor, I went to take a quick shower. I was already naked, why not?
I was washing my body when I cleaned down there and it still felt a little tingly and sore. We did it more than once. After that first time when he was gentle, slow and tender, I fell asleep in his arms. He snuggled up to me and held me like he loved me. He even said so. Thinking about what we did and how it made me feel made me smile.
I wanted this to be the beginning of our relationship as a couple. A little backwards but we had been close friends for a long time.
I wanted more. I told him so and I thought after all was said and done, he did too. The way we fell asleep, it felt like he wanted more too.
I rushed through the rest of my shower, and put on some pajamas so I could do what I could to clean my bed sheets.
I stripped my bed and took them into the laundry/pantry room. I scrubbed with bleach and shout and luckily, the evidence of my lost virginity came out and I was making my bed when I heard my parents walk through the front door.
When I could, I always made them breakfast on Sundays before church. Today though, I had to remain as calm and unaffected so they couldn’t see my inner panic attack. Because I was really starting to freak out in my mind.
“Hey, honey. How was prom?” My mom asked as she passed me to her room.
I shrugged and said, “It was good.”
They knew I came home early, but I could lie with the best of them. Just had to make sure I didn’t get caught.
Dad laughed and kissed my cheek before sitting down to eat and drink a cup of coffee.
“Anything interesting happen?”
“What?” I screeched. Could they tell? Oh, God. I was dead. Deke was dead.
My dad looked at me with concern. “You okay, Penny? You’re looking a little flushed.”
“Good. I’m good. Just a long night of dancing. It was fun.”
“Glad to hear it, honey.”
We finished breakfast and when they went to take their shower, I cleaned up the kitchen and put everything away.
As I got ready for church, I thought about what he’ll say when we see each
other. It had taken a while, but Deke had started going to church with me, sitting right next to me.
Maybe he had to tend to home things before church. I put on my best Sunday dress and we made our way to the first service.
After the sermon started I looked around for Deke but nope.
No Deke. I’m pretty sure everyone noticed me looking for him. Most folks my parent’s age didn’t really like him. I’m pretty sure the only reason my parents tolerated him was because he came to church. But I knew he came to be with me. He always treated them with respect and until recently, he’d been my only friend.
They didn’t know about him staying the night, but they knew he came by after he got off at SoIn to check up on me.
Mom thought it was sweet. And I’m positive my father had a talk with him before about boundaries and him coming over while they weren’t there. So when he ‘left’, he drove his bike home and then walked the ten minutes it took to get to the back fence. Which thankfully was close to the poor side of the neighborhood and in an alley so no one ever saw him sneak through the fence.
I scanned the crowd once and still, he wasn’t here. Why didn’t he come? Why was he avoiding me?
By the time we got home, I was starting to get nervous and a little scared.
“I wonder where Deke was. I didn’t see him at all. He knows you always save a seat for him. Maybe after lunch you can go check up on him. Make sure everything’s okay.”
I nodded. I knew he worked the night shift on Sundays. I just hoped he had an explanation for skipping out on me. I hoped everything was okay.
I didn’t go to SoIn very often. Just enough for Deke to finish up what he was doing so he could take me home. Which he always insisted on doing before he went back to work.
I changed into the best pair of jeans I had. They were the form fitting jeans Deke got me for my eighteenth birthday. Miss Me Jeans were all the rage with the popular kids. I had mentioned it around my birthday and naturally, Deke put me on his bike and drove me forty-five minutes to the outlet mall, and then made me put them on after purchasing them. I love them. They fit my shape perfectly. I threw on my Lilton High band shirt and slipped on my flops.