Speed Demons

by Jasmine Jones

  “Hey, Isabella.” Phineas was studying the part of the roller coaster that was already built. He felt it needed something more. He searched through their box of supplies.

  “Whatcha doin’?” Isabella asked. She looked up at the giant pile of metal.

  “Building a roller coaster,” Phineas explained.

  “In your backyard?” Isabella asked.

  Phineas shrugged. “Some of it.”

  “Wow! Isn’t that kind of impossible?” Isabella asked. She thought Phineas was simply amazing.

  Phineas smiled. “Some might say.” Of course, Phineas knew that “impossible” didn’t exist. Not with a stepbrother like Ferb.

  “Hey, Ferb!” Isabella called.

  Ferb waved his hammer from his place at the top of the roller coaster.

  “Does your stepbrother ever talk?” Isabella asked Phineas.

  “Ferb?” Phineas asked. “He’s more of a man of action.”

  Ferb hammered a nail.

  “I was going to go to the pool,” Isabella told Phineas. She dug her toe into the ground. “You want to go swimming?”

  “Kind of in the middle of something here,” he said and he pointed to the coaster.

  “Oh, right.” Isabella nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you later then.”

  “Okay,” Phineas said absently as Isabella trotted off. “Hey Ferb, you got enough rivets up there?”

  Ferb shot four rivets into place. He blew on the rivet gun to cool it as the rail gleamed in the sun.

  “Hey,” Phineas said suddenly, “where’s Perry?”

  Chapter 2

  Even if Phineas had known where Perry was, he probably wouldn’t have recognized him. The platypus was now wearing his brown felt fedora. His blank expression had turned to one of grim determination. Perry had transformed into the brave and amazing Agent P.

  Perry pressed the button that opened the secret panel on the side of Phineas and Ferb’s house. He plunged into the tunnel that led to his secret lair. As soon as he entered the cave, he noticed that the giant screen had just blinked to life—INCOMING MESSAGE, it read.

  “Good morning, Agent P.” Major Monogram’s face stared down from the huge monitor. “The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks,” he explained. “For reasons unknown to us, he has bought up eighty percent of the country’s tinfoil. I want you to get over to his hideout right away, find out what he’s up to, and put a stop to it!”

  Perry nodded. He was eager to go after his old enemy, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

  “As always, Agent P,” Major Monogram said, “it is imperative that your cover identity as a mindless domestic pet remains intact. Now, get out there, we’re all counting on you!”

  Perry gave one final salute. Then he raced to his flying Platypus Car. He leaped behind the steering wheel and blasted out of the cave. As he soared through the air, he flew right by Phineas and Ferb. Their roller coaster already stretched several stories into the air. Perry yanked his hat low over his face. He didn’t want to blow his cover! Luckily, Phineas and Ferb were too busy working to notice their pet rocketing past them in a supersecret-spy airship.

  “So, the way I see it,” Phineas said to Ferb, “the solid-fuel rockets kick in in the mall parking lot, then we release the snakes during the corkscrew around the interstate. I’m gonna go get the snakes.” Ferb flipped down a dark visor as Phineas started down the metal hill.

  Ferb fired up the blowtorch. He had a lot of work to do.

  “Mom!” Candace yelled out in the middle of the cereal aisle. Drippy music played in the background at the Super Food Stuff Mart. It was starting to get on Candace’s last nerve. “You’ve got to come home right now!”

  Linda pulled a box of cereal down from the shelf. “Did a satellite crash into the house?”

  “No, no, no!” Candace cried. “You’ve got to see what Phineas and Ferb are doing.” Honestly, sometimes she couldn’t understand how her mother could move so slowly! If she would just race home right away, they could catch the boys in the act!

  “Seems like we’ve had this conversation before.” Linda didn’t sound too interested. She pushed her cart down the aisle.

  Candace trotted after her mother. “What do you mean?” she demanded.

  “I seem to recall you telling me that the boys were training monkeys to juggle bicycles,” Linda said. She studied the label on the back of a box of granola. “And when I came home, there was a stunning lack of monkeys.”

  “I still don’t know how they cleaned that up so fast,” Candace grumbled.

  Linda sighed. “So, what’s the emergency this time?”

  “They’re building a roller coaster!” Candace shrieked.

  ‘“Candace, seriously,” Linda said patiently, “isn’t Phineas a little young to be a roller coaster engineer?”

  In fact, Linda wasn’t the only one who was wondering that.

  Phineas and Ferb’s roller coaster had already stretched well into the city. Ferb was busy welding a rail to the outside wall of a factory. Phineas was chatting with the factory foreman, explaining their project. The foreman looked from the stack of papers to Phineas, and back again.

  “Aren’t you a little young to be a roller coaster engineer?” the foreman asked.

  “Yes,” Phineas replied. “Yes, I am.”

  The foreman waited for Phineas to say more. But Phineas just looked up at him. “Well, I must say I’m very impressed,” the foreman said at last. He nodded at the papers.

  “The forms all seem to be in order, although I’ve never seen them filled out in crayon before.” He pointed to the machines behind him. “So, if there’s anything I can get you—anything at all—just, uh, let me know.”

  Phineas looked at one of the robots. It was putting together a car—very quickly.

  It gave Phineas an idea.

  “Do you think we could borrow one of those gadgets?” Phineas asked.

  Thirty-seven minutes later, Phineas and Ferb’s roller coaster was humming along! The robot was planting pieces in the ground at lightning speed. “Now, this is the life!” Phineas said. He and Ferb were riding with the robot as it built the roller coaster.

  Perry flew toward a tall building at the center of the city. It was the headquarters of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. Perry jetted to the top floor’s glass dome and leaped in through a window.

  The evil doctor was waiting for him.

  “Ah, Perry the Platypus,” Dr. Doofenshmirtz cried. “What an unexpected surprise. And by ‘unexpected’ I mean completely expected!” He pressed a button, and four arms popped out of the walls. They grabbed Perry by the hands and feet. He banged his head against one of the arms. It was solid metal. Perry was trapped!

  But the platypus wasn’t worried. He knew he’d find a way out of the doctor’s evil grip!

  Dr. Doofenshmirtz pointed to a large video screen, where New York City gleamed in the sun. Perry frowned. He didn’t remember New York being quite so . . . bright.

  “I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, have covered the entire eastern seaboard in tinfoil,” the doctor explained. He pointed to a large machine. “And when I put my giant magnet next to my ingenious Magnetism Magnifier, I will pull the east in a westerly direction, thereby reversing the rotation of the Earth.”

  Perry narrowed his eyes. Why would the doctor do this? he wondered. What could he possibly have to gain?

  “You may well ask yourself, ‘Why would he do this?’” Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. “‘What could he possibly have to gain?’ Well, let me just answer that by saying I haven’t really worked out all the bugs yet. I mean, you know, the tinfoil alone costs a lot.”

  But Perry was hardly listening. He had spotted a screw on the floor. Then he noticed rays from the Magnetism Magnifier near the ceiling.

  Perry had a plan.

  “But Mom, I’m telling you, they’re building it, and it’s huge!” Candace wailed.

  Her mother wheeled the shopping cart around a corner. Candace caught a flash of green hair and p
urple pants. The green-haired person had just stapled a flyer to a post that caught Candace’s eye. “‘Phineas and Ferb Present the Coolest Coaster Ever,’” Candace read. “‘Now open’?” She darted after her mother, screaming, “Mom!”

  Just then, a couple of kids walked past the flyer. “Phineas and Ferb got a roller coaster?” one of the kids asked. “You think we’ll get a discount if we bring the flyer?”

  “Maybe we’d better take it.” His friend ripped the flyer from the post. The kids hurried off toward Phineas’s backyard.

  Candace dragged her mother over to the post. “Here, look, look, look, see? I told you I’m not crazy. I told you!”

  “And you’re not crazy because . . . ?” her mother asked, staring at the post. The flyer had disappeared!

  Candace blinked at the post, then let out a scream.

  “I see your point, Candace,” Linda said. “No crazy person would scream at a post like that. I’ll be in the dairy section if you want to come yell at some cheese or anything.”

  Candace had to keep herself from screaming again. She didn’t understand why this always happened to her! With brothers like Phineas and Ferb, who wouldn’t want to yell at a post?

  Chapter 3

  A crowd of kids streamed into the giant striped tent that Phineas and Ferb had set up in the backyard.

  Once everyone was inside, Ferb walked up to the stage. He tapped the microphone. Then he stepped back to let Phineas do the talking.

  The lights went out. Rock music blasted through the tent. A disco ball sent rings of light around the room.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages,” Phineas announced. “May I present to you a spectacle most of the morning in the making.” Ferb pulled a cord and the curtain dropped. Phineas swept his hand toward the roller coaster behind him. It went up, up, up and then up, up, up some more.

  The crowd let out an oooh.

  “The Coolest . . . Coaster . . . Ever!” Phineas cried. It reached high into the sky, then plunged, like a tidal wave. It swept over the freeway. It swirled around office buildings. It looped and zoomed and zigzagged through the city.

  “So,” Phineas said, “who wants to go first?”

  Everyone raised a hand.

  A moment later, the kids had piled into the coaster cars. Ferb was in the front car. He was next to Phineas, who was explaining how to use the seat belts. The coaster slowly clink, clink, clinked straight up. “To fasten, insert the tab into the metal buckle,” Phineas said. He held up the buckle to demonstrate. “To release, just pull back on the—” The buckle fell out of his hands and plunged to the ground.

  “Oops!” Phineas said. “Well, you get the picture. That’s about it. Enjoy the ride.”

  The Coolest Coaster Ever paused for a moment at the top of the hill, and then plunged straight down! Everyone—everyone except Phineas and Ferb, that is—let out a scream!

  “You all signed waivers, right?” Phineas called out. He was just kidding, of course. He knew that the roller coaster wasn’t dangerous. Well, not very dangerous.

  The kids screeched as the coaster looped around the freeway. As it whizzed through downtown, hundreds of snakes dropped from a barrel overhead.

  “Relax,” Phineas said. “They’re just rubber!”

  At that moment, the coaster dropped deep into a mud pit. When it came out, everyone was covered in muck! Then the Coolest Coaster Ever zoomed through a car wash. The coaster—and the kids—came out the other side looking shiny and new. A worker buffed the front of the coaster with a white towel. He gave the signal, and the coaster took off!

  It swept up a corkscrew turn around Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated’s headquarters.

  “Hey, look!” Phineas cried as they headed into a sharp zigzag. “Here comes the ahh-ohh-ahh-ohh-ahh-ohh!”

  “Ahh-ohh-ahh-ohh-ahh-ohh!” The kids screamed as they went over the zigzag.

  And that was just the beginning.

  Perry knew he didn’t have a moment to lose.

  Dr. Doofenshmirtz was busy trying to explain how his evil plan might actually work. “When I really make all my money back,” the doctor said, “I—I could buy a bunch of east-facing real estate—”

  But the platypus wasn’t listening. The metal arms holding him in place were just loose enough. He managed to twist toward the screw on the floor. Perry gave it a whack with his wide tail and sent it flying across the room.

  “And sell it,” the doctor said, “at a—” He stopped talking as the screw sailed past his head. “Ha!” he shouted. “You missed!”

  But Perry never missed. The screw clanged off of the control panel and sailed into the air. It soared into the path of the Magnetism Magnifier’s rays and zinged back toward the doctor.

  “Ow!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz cried as the screw landed right on his big toe. “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!” He stumbled backward into a button labeled ARMS.

  The clamps that held Perry released his arms and legs. Perry was free!

  The platypus moved closer and punched Dr. Doofenshmirtz in the face.

  “Ow!” But the doctor wouldn’t be stopped. He yanked a lever. The glass dome overhead folded back. The doctor turned on the machine. Its ray shot toward the East Coast! “Now you are too late!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz hollered. “Quake in your boots and watch helplessly as the unimaginable electromagnetic forces pull the eastern seaboard, thereby reversing the rotation of the—”

  Rrrrrrip!

  The tinfoil peeled away from the buildings. The eastern seaboard stayed put.

  “Well, that didn’t work,” the doctor observed. Then he noticed something else on his monitor. The tinfoil was still floating through the air toward the Magnetism Magnifier. “And now we have a two-ton ball of tinfoil traveling two hundred miles an hour directly at us!” He turned to Perry. “We must separate the magnet from the magnifier before it is too late!”

  Perry yanked on the magnet. The doctor pulled on the magnifier.

  But the magnetism was too strong! They couldn’t separate them!

  The ball of tinfoil barreled closer.

  “Now, I know I have that club card in here somewhere,” Linda said as she rummaged around in her purse. The woman behind the register smiled patiently. “I always have it with me, but my purse is such a disaster area. You know how it is.”

  Candace could still barely keep from screaming. She knew that if they didn’t get home soon, Phineas and Ferb would manage to make the roller coaster disappear.

  Just then, she heard a distant scream. Candace rushed outside. There it was! The Coolest Coaster Ever zoomed through the parking lot right in front of the supermarket! And Phineas and Ferb were in the front car! Candace shouted as she darted back into the store. “Mom!”

  She couldn’t believe it. Phineas was about to be flame-broiled. Big-time.

  Chapter 4

  “It’s no use!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz wailed. “It’s no use! We are doomed!”

  But Perry stayed calm. All of his secret spy training kicked in. He spotted a helicopter buzzing overhead. Perry grabbed his rope gun and shot it at the helicopter. Then he tied the other end to the magnet. As the helicopter flew away, it took the giant magnet with it. Perry rode the magnet into the sky.

  “You did it!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz shouted as the magnet broke away from the magnifier. “You saved us, Perry the Platypus!”

  There was only one problem. The giant ball of tinfoil was still hurtling toward the magnifier. And Dr. Doofenshmirtz was standing right beside it! “Curse you, Perry the Platypus!” he shouted as the ball of foil smacked into the top of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated headquarters. The doctor, the corporation’s top floor, and the tinfoil sailed across the city.

  Meanwhile, many miles below, Candace was dragging her mother out of the supermarket. “Look, look, look!” Candace pointed toward the freeway. “See?”

  Linda squinted into the distance. “Okay, I give up,” she said at last. “What am I supposed to be looking at?”

  Ca
ndace turned toward where the roller coaster was supposed to be. But now it was just empty air! She gasped. “No, it’s not possible!”

  “I’m going to go get the cart.” Linda walked off.

  “It was right here,” Candace insisted.

  “Time to go,” Linda said as she pushed the cart toward the car. “I’ve got frozens.”

  But Candace couldn’t let her brother and stepbrother off so easily. “Okay, so you think that Phineas and Ferb are still under that stupid tree in the backyard, right?”

  “Well, yes, that would be my guess,” Linda said.

  “Fine, then let’s go home now!” Candace exclaimed as she hopped in the car.

  Candace grinned as they neared the edge of their neighborhood. This was it. Phineas and Ferb were finally going to get caught!

  But what had happened to the roller coaster?

  While Candace and her mom had been finishing their grocery shopping, Perry and the giant magnet had dangled over the city. When the tinfoil crashed into Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s building, it knocked loose the magnifier. The magnifier then had sailed through the air—and landed back on the magnet!

  Now the superstrong magnet ray was pointing down toward the city. It immediately attached itself to the large metal structure directly below it—the Coolest Coaster Ever.

  The helicopter began to spew black smoke as it hauled the giant coaster into the air. Perry pulled out a blade and cut the rope that held the magnet and the helicopter together. The helicopter flew off, and Perry dropped toward the ground, landing in one of the coaster cars as it zoomed beneath him.

  “Oh, there you are, Perry,” Phineas said as he noticed his pet two cars behind him.