by Tara Ahmed
I had imagined they would roll their eyes, telling me to sit down and stop preaching. But instead, they spoke words of encouragement.
“I’m glad you finally stood up,” said Regina, sitting at the corner seat.
“I agree,” said Chad. “I would have changed schools, or at least dropped the class. You’re not the shady chick I thought you were.”
“If I hear anyone talk smack again, I’ll tell them to stop,” said Augustus. “But, I’ll admit this has been the most interesting class I’ve taken all semester.”
I smiled at them, happy to hear their kind words. Mr. Bukowsky, who had been silent for a long while, sighed.
“If you’re done, let’s continue class, shall we?” Though he sounded bland, the warm look from his dark eyes told me how grateful he was.
Class went by fast, as we all practiced our monologues out loud, giving ideas, and suggestions to make it better. After class ended, Stacy shot me an annoyed look, then stomped out of the room. I would have ignored her completely, had she not dropped her wallet on the ground.
I had the urge to kick the wallet across the room, but of course, my conscience advised me otherwise. Bending down, I picked up the bubble gum pink wallet, holding it firmly in my hand. But as I stood, a small, thumb sized photograph fell from the edge of the wallet, onto the ground.
As I went to pick that up, I noticed the people in the photograph looked a bit familiar. Scooping the picture up, I stood straight, ironing the wrinkled photo.
Wait…no…it had to be a mistake. Stacy might mouth off from time to time, but she wouldn’t ever do anything with bad intentions.
But as I stared at the picture of me and Mr. Bukowsky sitting in a table at the diner, smiling warmly at each other, I felt as though I’d called the wrong person, a friend. The picture in my hand- was the same one posted on the YouTube page of the person that had uploaded that video a month ago.
But what was that picture doing in Stacy’s wallet?
My mouth dried, as a feeling of betrayal seeped through my chest, resting like a heavy chip on my shoulder.
The sound of heels lifted my gaze, as I watched Stacy run up the stairs to the stage, making her way towards me. Her ocean like eyes found the photograph gripped against my palm- her face hardening to a cold unfamiliar expression.
“Well, well…looks like you figured it out,” she said.
We stood a foot apart- her pale arms tucked into the pockets of her skirt.
“Why did you do it?” I asked.
She laughed wickedly, walking around me, like I was a car on display. Her eyes roamed over me, staring with a disgusted look on her face.
“It’s unfair,” she whispered, standing behind me.
Her hands circled around my pony tail, as I stood rigid, waiting for her little speech to end.
“You’re just average,” she said. “Everything about you is so low class, yet somehow, you got THE James Bellevue to marry you. James…I met him once, at a club. I brushed past him by accident, and when I saw him, I swear, I fell in over my head. He was the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen. So there I was, standing before him, too nervous to utter a word. And do you know what he did? He poured his drink all over my new Jimmy Choo heels, threw a few hundred dollars on the ground, and told me to buy a pair that will help me to walk better. What an asshole.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you’d upload that video,” I snapped. “You have no excuse for that! That was really a low move—“
“The only low person is your loser of a husband,” she snapped. “Yeah, I took that video, and I’ll take a million more if I have to! No one gets away with humiliating me the way that man did, and I will get my just desserts. This video is nothing. Just wait and watch. I will ruin James Bellevue, if it’s the last thing I do. This isn’t a warning, it’s a promise.”
“You’re insane!” I said. “I’m sorry he ruined your shoes and disrespected you, but that doesn’t mean you have the license to stalk him, or anyone involved with him! And if you’re trying to attack him, you’ve got to get through me. Got that?”
She looked unimpressed- rolling her eyes, and curling a finger through a free strand beside her cheek.
I shoved the small photograph into her palm, glaring coldly at her. She smiled, her lips spread in an artificial grin, as I pushed past her, exiting out of the room.
The evening air blew through my pony tail, as I took out my hairband, releasing my locks over my back. My head throbbed, as I gripped my blue tote bag over my shoulder, walking down the semi crowded street. Lovers walked hand in hand, while others laughed with their friends, creating a chain as they headed down the pavement. Others like me- walked alone, drowned in the maze of their thoughts.
The honking of a car caused me to yelp, as I turned, noticing the familiar white Mercedes. My teeth clenched, as the man in the car, exited out, walking around the vehicle- leaning against it.
Richard’s eyes were shielded by sleek sun glasses- his chest covered in a smooth white dress shirt, the first few buttons, unbuttoned. His long legs graced his usual black trousers, and for a moment, I wondered if he felt hot in such heavy clothes, for it felt like the warmest day of spring.
Biting my lower lip, I decided it was best to ignore him. Though I was a bit curious as to what he was doing here, before my school, I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction by asking.
The creep.
“Hey, don’t walk away, Dorothy.” There was humor in his voice, as he called after me.
I continued to ignore him, focusing on the subway entrance ahead. The orange sunset dipped over the lavender horizon, casting a luminescent glow over the street. A light breeze flew past my neck- my hair dancing in the wind, as I was only inches away from the station.
“Don’t ignore me.” His hand wrapped over my elbow, spinning me around till I hit his broad chest.
His cologne wrapped over me like a dirty blanket that I desperately needed to wash- his cool arms gripping the sides of my shoulders.
“Get away from me,” I snapped, trying to push away. “Let go! People are staring—“
“Let them stare,” he whispered. “Are you afraid they’ll figure us out?”
I gave him a repulsed look- shivering in disgust.
“There’s nothing to figure out.” I spoke through gritted teeth, staring vehemently at him. “The paparazzi will probably get here soon, so get off of me! I don’t want false gossip to spread—“
“You’re a coward,” he said. “You know, I wouldn’t mind standing here like this all day with you, but unfortunately, I can’t. We’ve got somewhere to go.”
I stomped on his foot, to which he yelped, hopping like a wounded rabbit as I pushed apart from him.
“What do you mean, ‘we’?” I asked. “There is no ‘we’! I’m leaving. Bye—“
“The carnival,” he said.
I frowned. “How do you know about that?”
He ran a hand through his soft, silky brown locks, giving me an impish smile.
“My brother is feeling under the weather today,” he explained. “So he asked me for a favor. He wants me to go in his place to the carnival. He said you’ve been marking the calendar every day for the past three weeks, and decided to surprise you by taking you there himself. Unfortunately, he’s sick, and begged me to take you instead. He’s such a nice guy isn’t he?”
Sarcasm dripped from his tone, as he removed his shades, staring at me in a wicked way. As I stood before him, I wanted to laugh at my circumstances, because the last guy I’d ever want to introduce to my family- was him.
This had to be a joke.
Chapter Eighteen
Richard slipped his glossy sunglasses into the breast pocket of his shirt, the white fabric swaying against the warm April wind. His forearms appeared a light tan against the dipping sun, as he placed both hands into the pockets of his trousers, raising a questioning brow.
“Well?” he asked. “Are you coming or what? I don’t mind carryi
ng you to the car, but two slime ball paparazzi are coming our way, and unless you want to answer their questions, let’s head out shall we?”
My eyes narrowed. “We’re not heading anywhere. Not together, anyway. I’ll handle the paparazzi on my own! I don’t need your help. I’m going my way, so you can go yours—”
“You’re so feisty aren’t you? Listen, let me give you two options,” he said. “Option one: you get in the car right now, and we head off to your home town, hand in hand, singing ‘over the rainbow’ or something like that. Now, if you don’t choose option one, which is the more favorable option in my humble opinion, then I guess you’re stuck with option two.”
He exhaled an exaggerated sigh, taking a step towards me. A smirk rested on the corner of his lips, as I stared suspiciously at his hands that slipped slowly out of his pockets. There was a challenge in his gaze, as though daring me to do something, anything, to escape. But escape, I would not. I had nothing to run away from, so if anyone were to leave, it should be him!
I turned towards him, my fists clenched by my sides.
“Your little ‘options’ don’t apply to me,” I said. “So you can just shove them straight up your ‘you know what’. Got that?”
His eyes were expressionless, as he ran a hand through the silky tresses of his locks- his lips striking an easy smile. I shot him a cold glare, before turning- my cherry hair flying over my back as the wind danced by.
My teeth clenched, as I spotted a paparazzi hiding behind a tall black SUV at the end of the block, snapping my pic with a wicked smile spread across his lips. A blue beanie rested over the man’s large head, his curly black locks sticking out of the top. As I blinked at him, he tilted his head, staring at me in a predatory way, his beady eyes- narrowed. A ketchup stain rested at the hem of his white t-shirt, as his bulky form made its way towards me.
I took a step back, diverting my eyes from the paparazzi, and turning. My nervous gaze met Richard, who leaned against the side of his shiny car, his brows raised.
My chest burned in annoyance, as I jogged towards the car, shoving him to the side. I could feel his condescending smirk seep through me like a shadow through the night, as I slipped into the seat, slamming the door closed.
That jerk!
Perhaps I should have just taken the subway home, but that creepy paparazzi was sure to have followed me there. I had never felt so cornered in my life.
As my heart burned in frustration, Richard entered the car, strapping on his belt, and turning on the engine. The windows rolled down- the light gust streaming past my neck, as I slipped my hair over my shoulder, glaring at the driver.
“Take me home,” I snapped.
He drove with one hand, staring lazily at the road, his finger twisting the button to the radio. The volume was low, as the stream of popular songs blared through the system.
“That’s exactly where we’re going,” he said, sounding amused.
I shook my head, resisting the urge to rip off a chunk of his deep brown locks. He made it so hard to like him.
“I don’t mean Ohio.” I glared intensely at him. “You know exactly what I mean, so stop playing with me. God, you’re so frustrating!”
His fingers tapped against the stereo, as he shot me a surprised stare. I continued glaring at him, hoping my eyes could burst him to flames, but alas, he merely shrugged.
“Relax,” he advised. “I’m taking you where you need to go, but it’s pointless. James is sick, which means—”
“Which means that I need to be there for him! I can’t just leave him at his worst. I’m not heartless.”
I stared hopelessly at him, but his eyes remained cold, as he focused on the road. Sighing, I turned to my side, resting my head against the seat. The warm winds caused the collar of my top to flap, as I stared at the deep lavender sky, the moon appearing like a grey oyster over patchy blue clouds.
“You aren’t heartless.” He spoke through the blistering silence, the deep tremor of his voice oozing out, as if through a volcano. “But I am.”
My ears perked, as my mind lingered on his words. I thought, for a moment, on how to reply, for I didn’t trust his intentions.
I mean, why would he say that to me? What does it matter to me if he’s heartless? It was as though he was trying to open up to me, but unfortunately for him, it was too late.
“I know you are,” I said. “Someone who wants to destroy his own brother’s marriage- doesn’t deserve to have a heart. So you’re right. You are heartless. Your mother would be ashamed of what a sick, twisted person you’ve become—”
The car came to an abrupt halt, screeching to the side, as my body shoved towards the front of the car. My seatbelt prevented my head crashing onto the board of the car, as I snapped my head towards him, glaring.
The car was parked against the edge of the pavement, as I glanced at the neighborhood, relieved that it was familiar. My building resided a few feet away at the end of the street, as pedestrians walked by, some walking their dogs, while others jogged.
“Thanks for the ride,” I snapped. “But if you could park like a normal person, I would really appreciate it!”
Though I was upset, I could not deny the eerie silence that crept through the car, sending a chill down my spine.
“Who the hell gave you the right to judge me?” Richard’s voice dipped dangerously low.
Hurt lingered within the icy depths of his golden brown eyes, and as I stared at him, I realized that I had struck him low. A man who could mask his emotions so perfectly, had let a piece of his wall, slip loose, allowing a stream of humanity to burst through that barricade of pain.
I had hurt him.
Guilt washed through me, as I clenched my hands over my lap, my knuckles pressed into the satin of my red skirt.
“I’m—I’m sorry,” I faltered. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m really sorry...I mean it.”
His arm extended outwards, gripped over the edge of the window beside me, caging me in place. His face was so close to mine, I could feel the warmth of his breath blowing into my cheek- my heart pulsing.
“You don’t know shit about my mother,” he whispered, his head dipping further towards my lips. “She didn’t give a damn about family or priorities. The only thing that mattered to her, was finding a purpose in life, and she did just that. Now, if she were to see me relentlessly pursuing you, she’d say I’m an idiot, but that if I let you go, I’d be an even bigger idiot. You see, my mother wasn’t like ordinary mothers. She believed that to truly live, you had to go after what you want, even if it isn’t meant to be yours.”
My chest heaved like a quiet tide, as I stared at him- wide eyed. His cavernous eyes dropped to my mouth, watching as I nervously licked my bottom lip, swallowing a deep breath. My knees felt weak, as his penetrating gaze bore holes through my flesh, making me shiver like a mouse under his scrutiny.
“Why do you like me?” My voice escaped in a whisper, as I stared up at him, my heart drumming loudly within my chest.
His expression softened, his lips slipping to a slight smile, as his hands gripped the handle of the door beside me. I searched his eyes for an answer, but stopped when the door swung open, allowing a burst of wind to sweep my hair over my shoulder. My locks hit his cheek, his thumb clicking open the lock on my seatbelt, allowing me to freely exit.
“You should head inside. I’ll see you around then.” He ignored my question, readjusting his posture against his seat, his hands gripping the steering wheel.
He stared ahead, as I got out of the car, swinging the door closed. Without a farewell, he drove through the quiet street, the back of his car- drowning within the evening fog.
My keys jingled within my hands, as I looped it through the hole of the door knob, twisting till it clicked open. Gripping my palm over the wooden knob, I pulled, extending it outwards, as I entered inside.
An unfamiliar scent, like that of dark chocolate- swept under my nostrils, as I closed the door, taking quiet steps t
hrough the narrow hall.
My mind recalled Richard’s words, telling me that James had informed him that he was too sick to go to the carnival, allowing him to take his place. I bit the side of my lip, chewing the delicate skin, as I heard the sounds of a faint giggle exuding from the nearest room.
It was a light, feminine sound, and as I stood beside the room, the giggle grew into a muffled moan.
“Aw, James, that tickles! Please….please, stop!” The giggles increased, and then, in a moment, the woman laughed loudly.
I stood against the wall, feeling my heart clench, as my eyes began to sting. My hands clenched into tight fists by my side- a thick lump resting at the center of my throat. The sound of betrayal rang like crystal bells against my mind, as the woman’s moans increased, begging James to continue whatever it was he was doing.
I felt like such a fool. I was letting myself fall for a guy that didn’t give a damn about me. He lied to me so easily, fooling Richard into thinking that he was sick…fooling me into thinking that I mattered to him.
This was my fault for falling into a deep pool of misery. I should have known that a guy like James, with a hundred women falling at his knees, wouldn’t look twice at me. I hated men like him, men that used women like a seasonal flavor, yet it was he that had captured my heart. I thought maybe that he was unlike my assumption, that perhaps, there was something more to him.
But of course, I was just an idiot for thinking he could ever be anything more than a womanizing pig.
My hand clenched against the fabric of my shirt, as tears spilled freely down my cheeks. Feeling I could hold in my sorrow no longer, I walked towards the open door, standing before it.
As I had presumed, a woman sat at the center of the bed, tangled in red, silk sheets, her head resting on James’s naked shoulder.