She’d promised to nap before the big dive into Hell later, but she couldn’t relax enough to fall asleep. She’d tried. The sudden appearance of the Birminghams disturbed her peace of mind. The certainty Georgie hid something important nagged at her. The woman always hid something, so no big surprise. But she’d practically gloated over her vague comment about Nix’s woman. Alessa was the obvious conclusion. Her cupid brain had already been shooting imaginary arrows into their hearts, but to kind of hear Georgie admit it left Madison a little…what? Crestfallen?
What was wrong with her? She wanted Nix to be happy. Feeling disheartened over Alessa being his woman was a clear sign of her failure as a friend. Not to mention it was wrong on so many levels. She’d never harbored romantic feelings for Nix, so—
Liar, the devil inside her piped up. Bigger fibber than that Pinocchio character you humans crafted, Pandora projected a smug smile. Nice to know you’re not so perfect, demon queen.
Madison clenched a jigsaw piece between her fingers.
Remember when you masturbated in the bathtub with Nix as the inspiration? It was so unfair Pandora had access to her memories. Or the time you got all jealous when he was with that slut in South Beach?“Your fault,” Madison whispered.
No, no, honey. At the time I didn’t want that man between my thighs.
My thighs! Madison argued back, feeling more than a little schizophrenic with the mental conversation.
Semantics honey, since I’m inside you. With Phoenix’s newly discovered power, I’d take him over your Micah.
Not my Micah. Madison clenched her teeth.
I’d still sink my teeth into the fallen angel, of course, but Phoenix offers something the angel cannot. A delectable vintage of Messiah wine that we haven’t had the pleasure of sampling. We’ve already had the fallen angel, and I know how much you disliked it. But after that episode in the hotel, I have a feeling Phoenix Birmingham won’t disappoint.
Madison shoved her fingers into her hair and clamped her hands on either side of her head, pressing hard. If only she could eradicate the conversation from her mind. These manic discussions with Pandora were harder to suppress in the dead of the night, so why at noon was Madison having trouble stifling the sentient entity.
Life isn’t worth living without ingesting more power, Pandora sneered. Or sex. Lots and lots of sex.
“Shut up! Shut up!” Madison croaked out the plea. Her hand shook and she made a mad grab for a handful of gummy bears.
All that sugar will not shut me up.
“You should sleep more.” Zen stepped up beside her and pulled a shaky hand from her head.
“I try.” She squinted up at him, but his charged aura pierced her vision like a beam of sunlight. “I just toss and turn.”
Pandora settled thanks to Zen, but not without a fight. Madison winced as a poker-hot spike streaked across her right temple.
Bastard! I hate you! Pandora screamed as Zen muzzled her. He’d be a cold fuck just like his brother.
Madison gasped at the shocking words and Zen shot her a startled look. Horrified, she cringed inwardly because with Zen in her head taming Pandora, he could hear Pandora’s comments.
“You know that wasn’t me,” she said quickly. And what was that about a brother? Zen guarded his past like others safeguarded the skeletons in their closets, so she refrained from asking.
Zen grunted. “You have sentiments you cannot tuck away forever regarding Phoenix.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Zen.”
He dropped her hand and captured her chin between his finger and thumb, forcing her head back to meet his studious gaze. “You are going into Hell to pull Phoenix out so do not claim you feel nothing more than sisterly devotion. This is me you’re talking to and I know you.” He tapped on her head, a subtle reminder he knew all. “Pretend is for fools and you’ve never been one, so don’t make-believe you don’t love him. Not with me. You cannot hide the true depth of your emotions forever. Not from yourself and not from him. Things will change, must change, when this mission is over.”
Madison jerked her chin from his grasp and feigned more interest in the jigsaw than she felt. “I’ll be dead when this mission is over, so yeah, things will definitely change. Thankfully all sentiments will magically disappear.”
“You have the right to be bitter,” Zen said. “But it defeats the positive attitude you require to complete the mission. Especially since you refuse to recharge your succubus.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” She so wished she could get him out of her mind.
“You don’t want to live with regrets, Madison.”
Regrets had plagued her since she’d been fifteen. No reason to stop them now. “Zen.” She glared at him and balled her hand into a fist, her nails stinging her palm. “When I need a psych analysis, I’ll come to you. Until then, shove the pep talk.”
“I fail to comprehend your stubbornness.”
She rolled her eyes. She’d heard this spiel before, but Zen refused to get that Nix needed something more than she could offer. He needed safe, secure, and uncomplicated—someone who liked sex would be good—none of which she could tender. All she could offer him was a one-way ticket to Hell-spawned troubles.
“Excuses. Every single thought is an excuse.” He shook his head. “You’re better than Phoenix deserves, Madison.”
“Last I understood it, Nix outranked me, and you’d toss me to Micah as a diversion to save him.” She gave him a hard glare, hoping it’d warn him off this particular topic. She should have known better.
“You go into Hell with your emotions seething like this, with Pandora mocking you freely, and you’re wide open to kingly conversion.”
“I know.” Madison rubbed her forehead and forced the fingernails out of the palm of her other hand.
“You refuse to take the sustenance you need.”
“Stow that particular argument, Zen.” She glared at him. “I won’t have sex with some random Joe-blow off the street. Not for Nix, not for anyone!” She had some morals. She would go down with them intact, and her head held high. “We both already know I tried ingesting your power, but my demon denied it, so back off!”
Not an hour ago, she’d tried taking power from him. She’d gotten a dose of it—barbed wire dragged across her skin wouldn’t have hurt so much. She’d welcome death before accepting more. It might tame the Pandora entity, but it tormented Madison’s demon.
“I fear for your return.”
“What do you want me to say to make you feel better, Zen? That my silly human emotions are all mixed up? Sure, I love Nix, but I’m not in love with him.”
A big difference between the two types of loves. Only fools fell in love. All it’d gotten her was a one-way ticket into the abyss.
Nix took liberties in the hotel room she shouldn’t have granted. Her mistake. One that wouldn’t be repeated even if she couldn’t bring herself to regret her actions. She should thank him; he’d shown her a different side of sex, one that gave pleasure rather than pain and humiliation.
“I don’t want Micah. I don’t love him, but I cannot guarantee I won’t fall to his whims in Hell. I cannot offer you any guarantees other than I’ll do my damndest to return.”
She’d been born for Hell and she would enter it of her own free will. She’d save Nix from his follies, and if by some miracle she came out of Hell, she, Amos, Petra, and Zen would hit the road again without Nix. Her life held no space for love or lust or even a mild crush. Alessa was his woman whether Madison liked it or not. What sane man wouldn’t choose a woman like Alessa over a mixed-up succubus whore?
“You’re not mixed-up, just stubborn. I think most men find that quality either attractive or a challenge.”
Madison snorted. “Such a redeeming trait, so I can understand why.”
“Just say you’ll think about what I said about Phoenix if you come out of Hell alive.”
She shrugged. “Sure.”
Not that it woul
d change anything either way. She wanted Nix to be happy and Alessa would make him happy.
“If you need me, I’ll be meditating.”
“Okay.” Madison placed a puzzle piece into the design and popped a gummy bear in her mouth. As she chewed on the gooey candy, she fit several more pieces into the jigsaw. She didn’t watch Zen leave, but she felt his presence in the corner of the room, where the shadows were the darkest.
Alessa and Nix…interesting that she’d guessed they were the hot ticket item of romances. And yet, the idea of Nix and Alessa together bothered her as much as Nix being with Micah in Hell. Her emotions were so screwed up.
Madison sighed, arranged several more pieces and then studied the design. Halfway finished with the project, she marveled how she’d only just begun piecing it together not an hour ago.
“Am I interrupting you, Madison?”
Madison glanced up to find Georgie standing in the doorway. She smiled at the older woman.
“No, come on in.” She set two more designs into their correct location and snacked on the gummy bears as she watched Georgie take a seat across from her.
“I could hear your thoughts.”
Madison arched an eyebrow. “Beg your pardon?” Last time she checked, she shared telepathy only with Zen, Petra, and Amos. She didn’t want Georgie in her head, also.
“Not literally.” She picked up a jigsaw piece and handed it to her. Madison accepted it and placed it in its spot. The prophet frowned. “How’d you know where that goes?”
“The same way you knew it was the next piece.” Madison bit the head off a gummy and then nibbled its body away.
“Your turbulent emotions were too much for me to ignore.” Madison would apologize if it was something she could help. She said nothing and Georgie didn’t seem to expect a response. “How long have you been having trouble sleeping, Madison?”
“Since Nix went to Hell.” She picked up the bag of gummies and offered them to Georgie, who declined with a shake of her head.
Georgie crossed her legs and sat back in the overstuffed chair. The matronly woman stared at the jigsaw, her forehead furrowed.
Madison sensed the woman had something on her mind. “Spit it out, Georgie.”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re not planning on coming back from Hell?”
“Kind of doubtful I will.”
“Your chances can’t be any worse than the chances of getting Nix out.” Georgie handed her another puzzle piece.
“Give me the other four beside it.” Madison pointed at them.
Georgie tapped her nail on the pieces. “These?”
“Yeah.” She held her hand out and the other four were dropped in her palm. “Micah needs us both, but I figure I’m a little more valuable. To him at least. That should up my chances of getting Nix out.”
A disgruntled snort stung the air. “Cynical attitudes irritate me.”
Madison laughed. “I’m being realistic and making plans just in case.” She set the pieces in place. “If I can get out, I will. My son needs me and Zen is a poor father figure.” A grunt of protest came from the dark corner. “So are you going to tell me a name?”
The prophet curled a lock of brown hair around her finger. “The name of Nix’s girl?”
“Of course.” Madison munched on a handful of gummies.
“No.”
“Georgie.” She swallowed the candy. “What if I don’t make it back? Then I’ll never know who his girl is.”
“Things have to progress in a certain order or Nix and his girl won’t hook up.”
“Right.” Riddles were getting old, but Madison thought she might be able to decipher this one. “Meaning Alessa has to make it out first before she and Nix can hook up.”
“Alessa?” Georgie’s eyes rounded and her mouth parted, as if startled by Madison’s deduction skills.
“Yeah, it was kind of easy figuring out Alessa is the one. No other chick in my group.”
Georgie gaped at her a long while. “You may be surprised, Madison. I didn’t think you would be, but now….”
“Surprised by what? Alessa being right for Nix? Nah, they already have history, so no big surprise.” At Georgie’s continued silence, Madison peeked through her lashes at the woman. “Were you talking about another surprise?”
Big shocker the woman didn’t answer her, but instead changed the subject. “This is a huge gamble, Madison. Are you sure you want to do this?” Georgie’s question stunned her. “No one would blame you if you backed out.”
“Amos would.” She selected a green gummy and consumed it. She’d blame herself, too, and that’s all that really mattered. “Do you really see that I have a different choice?”
The Birmingham mother-figure cast a quick glance in Zen’s direction and shook her head.
If anyone could dig Nix out of Hell, it would be someone like Madison with ties to the fiery locale.
“Amos says Nix has to come out.” Zen insisted on it, but Nix’s newfound identity wasn’t for her to confess. “The both of you see him returning. That’s gotta be fate, right?”
“It’s your fate that bothers me.”
“I have that taken care of.” Not that Georgie needed to know she and Zen had a plan to crush her soul if things got out of control in Hell. “Zen’s in charge if something goes wrong and I can’t make it out.”
“No.” Georgie shook her head, her loose curls bobbing. “That’s not what I mean.” She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. “I cannot fathom the hell that Hell really is. I worry how traumatized Nix will be when he comes out, and I worry what you’ll suffer to break him out.” She splayed her fingers. “Look, I keep getting one recurring message about you. At first I thought I should keep it to myself. Now…I think it’s meant to help you manage or overcome what is to come.”
A cold chill skittered down her spine and she swallowed past the lump suddenly lodged in her throat. “No tampering with free will, Georgie.” Her words came out no louder than a whisper.
“This has nothing to do with free will, but is more like mental warfare. The same kind of ammunition Amos gives you before something happens.” Georgie rested her elbows on her thighs. Her hands met in the middle and her fingers interlaced.
Madison nodded and waited. She didn’t pick up the puzzle wedge, the one that drove her nuts, to put it into its spot. She even found the willpower to resist the call of the sugary gummy bears. Instead, she held Georgie’s gaze, knowing whatever bothered the psychic was important enough that she should take notice.
“If Micah should manage to bend you to his will in Hell—I’m not saying he will but….”
“But you think it likely,” Madison finished for her. Georgie’s pinched expression said volumes.
“If you fall to Micah, I want you to think, ‘My humanity will not fall to his will. For Phoenix and for Amos I will be stronger than his might.’ Do you think you can do that?”
What a fascinating pep talk to give herself in such a dire circumstance. The sardonic grin hit her lips before she could squelch it. “Sure, I can do that.” She adjusted the jigsaw piece that screamed to connect with its fellow mates. “And if that doesn’t work, Plan B is Zen.”
Chapter Eighteen
Amos had something to share with the group and his enthusiasm jigged his aura in a dance-like pattern. He’d practically dragged Madison into the dining room to join everyone, including the Birminghams, to unveil whatever he’d concocted to help them while in Hell. She was charmed he wanted to help her, so she didn’t spoil his fun by reminding him nothing of human origin could enter Hell.
Pride reflected from his blue eyes as he handed her the backpack. Tangible anticipation hung in the air as Madison unzipped the pack.
“Amos, this looks like a bunch of marbles.” A sting nipped her fingers when she buried them in the marbles.
“They are marbles crafted from magical hellfire, so they can enter Hell. And when they’re tossed around, they’ll trap demons and you’ll be abl
e to move about without any intervention from them.” Excitement snapped from his aura in zigzag lines. “Daddy won’t be able to call up his defenses to battle your army of damned if his demons are trapped. You’ll be able to get Nix out like that.” He snapped his fingers for emphasis.
Fear clenched her gut and wouldn’t release its hold. She rolled a marble between her finger and thumb, the power irritating her skin. “Who was with you when you crafted these?”
“Me.”
She glanced at Zen and mouthed ‘thank you’.
“Momma, you wouldn’t believe the things I’m able to do. It’s exciting! All this power to do neat stuff. I’m like Wolverine!”
The marbles would be a huge asset. The inherent ‘but’ at the end terrified her.
“Wolverine isn’t unbreakable, angel. Remember, neither are you.”
Amos scrunched up his forehead, and quirked his mouth in a grimace.
“Amos, promise me you won’t play with this stuff while I’m gone. I’ll be really vulnerable while I’m in Hell and I don’t need you used against me by your daddy.”
“It’s not like Daddy wants to hurt us.”
Tense silence struck the room. Breath strangled in her lungs. Dumbfounded by the naïve comment, she struggled to breathe through her sudden panic. What could she say to that? She wanted to scream and rant, but it would be an ineffective way to handle Amos. She slumped onto a stool, grappling for the correct way to address the topic.
“He loves us.” Amos persisted.
“That man does not love me.” She tossed the backpack on the table and rose to her feet, ready to flay skin off Micah’s bones. “All he’s ever done is manipulate me for his personal use. If that’s love—”
“Madison.” Zen shifted into telepathy after speaking her name. Calm down.
Petra took up her defense. “You know I love you, kiddo, and I think you’re freaking brilliant for your age. You’re right, Daddy won’t hurt you physically, but he can cause mental pain that’s worse than the physical. You already worry Madison won’t return from Hell. You let him dig his claws into you even a little and you’ll either do as he wants or he’ll hurt your momma to force you to work with him.” She grabbed the backpack full of marbles and shook it. “These are marvelous, but they’re short term. They’ll work for what we need. But they’ll also expose the signature of your power. That’ll make it easier for Daddy to track you afterward because he’ll have possession of your magic. So, goodbye invisible shield.”
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