Would she love him as much if she knew all of it? Was it too late to make amends? Could he mend the rift he’d created when he’d shoved her love away as if it didn’t matter—as if she didn’t matter?
But she mattered, as did Sienna and his as-yet-unborn son. They mattered far more than he’d ever believed possible. He had to make things right—there really was no other option. His life would be incomplete if he couldn’t fix things and create the true home he’d always wished for. Van slowed down for the turn into his driveway and waited for the electronic gates to slide open. Now that he was here, he was filled with an equal mix of foreboding and anticipation. It wouldn’t be easy asking for Kayla’s forgiveness, but he was prepared to humble his pride, go on his knees and beg if it meant she’d give him another chance. And this time, please, God, he wouldn’t mess it up.
Van could sense something was wrong the minute he pulled into the garage. He looked around. Kayla’s car was there, baby seat secured in the back, just like it always was—and yet he still felt as though something was terribly out of kilter.
He couldn’t dismiss the feeling. His instincts had saved him from bad situations more times than he could count—both as a kid and as an adult. He hefted his laptop case from his car and went inside. There, his unease grew and it wasn’t until he bumped into Imelda, who was coming down the hall toward him, that he realized something had to be very wrong. There was a sadness about her, an emptiness in her eyes that struck fear deep into his chest.
“Imelda? What is it? What’s wrong?” he demanded.
“You don’t know?”
“Know what? Tell me.” Van fought the urge to shake it from her. “Is Kayla all right? The babies?”
“As far as I know, they’re all very well. Perhaps I should let Ms. Matthews tell you. She’s waiting for you out on the balcony.”
“As far as you... Dani?”
But Imelda pushed past him with a sniff that sounded suspiciously like she was holding back tears. Without wasting another moment, Van strode through the house and headed outside. Dani lounged on one of the outdoor chairs, looking as exquisitely beautiful as always but so cold and emotionless that as he watched her unfold from her seat and rise to greet him, he wondered how he could ever have thought he’d be happy with someone like her.
“Donovan, darling,” Dani greeted him, presenting a cheek to be kissed. “I’ve missed you.”
Van couldn’t bring himself to touch her. Not now.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” he said through gritted teeth, forcing himself to be civil when all he wanted to do was demand she tell him where Kayla was and why she wasn’t here. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until tomorrow at the office.”
“I know—isn’t it delicious? I love my little surprises.” She turned to the table and lifted a bottle of champagne from the sweating ice bucket in the center of the table. “Now you’re back, this calls for a celebration.”
“Dani, what the hell is going on?” he growled.
“Oh, no need to go all caveman on me, Donovan. You know that doesn’t appeal to me. Besides, you’re going to be so pleased when you know what I’ve done.”
She passed him a crystal champagne flute, which he promptly put back on the table. “You know I don’t drink,” he bit out.
“But this is a very special occasion. Surely you can make an exception, just this once? Just a sip?”
“I don’t make exceptions. Not on this, ever. Why are you here?”
“I thought you might be pleased to know I’ve managed to sort out your little situation and get rid of it permanently so we can go back to how we were before. You’ve been so wretched since you’ve had that woman and her brat under your roof. Someone had to do something.”
“That’s my child you’re referring to,” he said, pressing down the fury that threatened to boil over. His anger would have to wait until he got all the information he needed, and if he knew Dani at all, that was probably going to take a lot longer than he wanted.
“One you didn’t want, remember. And now she’s gone. And her mother, too.”
“What did you do to them?”
“Do? Why, nothing. I merely offered them an alternative and now the situation is resolved to everyone’s satisfaction. We can go back to our plans to marry without any unwanted babies cluttering up our future.”
Was he going to have to drag everything out of her word by painful word? “Where are they?”
“They’re quite happy where they are. At Kayla’s request, you’re not to know the exact location. We both felt it would be better that way. Otherwise, given your unfortunate knight-in-shining-armor tendencies, you’d be inclined to haring after her, wouldn’t you?”
“You had no right to interfere. We’re over as a couple, Dani. Our relationship remains a business one only.”
She fluttered an elegant hand and he noted the solitaire diamond ring he’d given her glittered once more on her ring finger. “But we both know we want more than that. We were happy before she came along.”
Happy? He might have thought he’d been happy but he hadn’t realized quite how empty his life had been.
“Dani, I made a mistake when I asked you to marry me. It wasn’t fair to either of us.”
For the first time, her confidence wavered a bit. Apparently this was not what she’d expected him to say. “What are you saying, Donovan? Please, think very hard before you answer me. We have so much riding on this. Our business, our future, everything.”
Was she insinuating that their business would always come first? Hell, what was he thinking? Of course it did. It was what had brought them together, after all. He’d been an idiot to think that would ever have been enough to build a marriage on.
“You deserve better than me, Dani,” he said firmly. “You deserve a man who will love you through and through—everyone does. We might have been happy together, initially, at least, but long-term I think we both know we would have been left wanting more.”
“But I want you, Donovan.”
She said the words flatly, as if wanting was all that was important.
“I’m not the man you think I am anymore. Maybe I never was. I’m sorry, but it really is over between us.”
A look of regret flashed through her eyes. “And the business? Do you still expect me to work beside you knowing you’ve rejected me like this?” She hadn’t objected before...but she must have thought the situation between them could still be resolved. Kayla had been wrong about Dani—she’d fought for him after all. But not out of love, simply out of pride. Dani hadn’t wanted to lose out on the relationship she’d decided would suit her best. And now that he’d injured that pride by clearly rejecting her, she evidently wanted nothing more to do with him.
He sighed. It would probably take every penny he had, and maybe the house, as well, but he could buy her out. He’d miss her business acumen, but he realized that a man needed more than that by his side and in his bed.
It was probably a testament to how little her heart was invested in their relationship that they managed to hammer out a verbal agreement there and then regarding the transfer of her company shares. Their lawyers would get rich taking care of the rest.
“I’m sorry it had to come to this,” Dani said as she rose from the table.
“So am I,” he said, taking her hand and clasping it warmly. For a long time he’d thought she’d be the woman he’d spend the rest of his life with. She had his respect at the very least. But there was one question still burning in the back of his mind. “You know where Kayla is, don’t you?”
“I do, but Donovan, I won’t tell you where to find her. Trust me on this. You may think you know what you want but I think in this instance I know you better. She’s no good for you. She’s moved away of her own choice. Yes, I helped her, of course I did. She had no one else, di
d she? Let’s face it—you have never really been there since she moved in with you, have you? Your work has always been the most important thing to you and that’s why we were so good together.” Tears gleamed in Dani’s eyes. “But remember this—she could have told me no. She could have stayed, and she didn’t.”
“I have a responsibility to see to it that my children are going to be okay.” That was only a fraction of the reason, but he thought it was the one most likely to get a positive response from Dani. She wouldn’t like hearing that Kayla had won his heart when Dani hadn’t even made a dent in it.
“Already seen to,” Dani said with a slight wobble in her voice. “Think of it as my parting gift to you. I set up generous funds for them and an excellent housing situation. They’re fine, and Kayla, well, she’d be happier if she never saw you again, too.”
Would she? He’d find that out for himself, he decided as he showed Dani to the door and called for Jacob to organize someone to take her to the airport and for a pilot to fly her back to San Francisco. The moment she left the house, he was on the phone to his immediate team with instructions.
“Find her and soon,” he directed. “This takes priority over everything else right now.”
* * *
The apartment just outside Sacramento held everything she needed, Kayla thought, and was far nicer than the one she’d been living in before she’d moved to Van’s. Sienna had adjusted easily to the move and aside from the occasional tantrum when she would utter “Dadadadad!” in imperious tones as only a thirteen-month-old could do, she didn’t seem to miss Van, either. But Kayla did. With an ache that went deep into her very being and that kept her awake nights and tearful at the least opportune times. Just hormones, she told herself. Life would settle into a new pattern soon and she’d adjust, like she always did.
The baby’s movements had become more frequent and stronger of late. As if Van’s little boy was trying to make a statement of his own. Maybe he was simply expressing his approval of the move. She wondered what Van had felt when he’d arrived home and found she and Sienna were gone. Relief, probably. While he definitely had a strong urge to control and protect, there was an emptiness in him where his heart should have been. She felt sorry for him, truly sorry, but at the same time she felt sorry for herself, too.
Sienna was curled up in bed after a busy day. They’d joined a local playgroup and Kayla was tentatively making new friendships. The fact that the babies’ father wasn’t on the scene hadn’t been easy to gloss over and the sympathy reflected in a couple of the other moms’ eyes had almost been her undoing but she’d held it together. The gentle offers of help and support from her new friends had been welcome and made her feel just a little less alone than she had when she arrived.
She was just settling down with a cup of lemon ginger tea, and trying not to think about Van, when there was a buzz from downstairs. She checked the security screen to see who was at her door. Van? A visceral shudder ran through her body—even the grainy black-and-white image on the screen did nothing to reduce the impact seeing him again had on her. No, a thousand times, no! How had he found her? Dani had told her that her location here would be a complete secret.
But then again, Kayla hadn’t factored in what Van did for a living. Part of providing security was gathering intelligence. She should have thought about that further. Clearly changing her name hadn’t been enough. She should have moved across the country, as well. Either way, it was too late now.
The buzzing became insistent.
“Go away,” she said through the intercom.
“I need to see you, Kayla. Let me into the building.”
“Look, I made my decision and I’m sticking with it. Please, Van, respect me on this if nothing else,” she begged.
“I’m not leaving until we’ve talked. Now, I can spend all night leaning on this buzzer, and the buzzers for all your neighbors, or you can let me in and we can talk.”
“I’ll call the police,” she threatened, knowing in her heart of hearts she would do no such thing.
“And explain to them that you have abducted my daughter? Please, by all means, go ahead. I’ll be more than happy to show them the court-issued document I have in my pocket awarding me full custody of Sienna.”
“You’ve come to take her away? You can’t do that!”
Through the crackle of the speaker, she heard him sigh. “No, Kayla, that’s not what I’m here for, but I’m not above using this document to get to you if that’s what it takes.”
There was a determination in his tone that left her in no doubt that he’d do exactly as he’d said.
“All you want to do is talk?”
She couldn’t hide the tremor in her voice as she spoke and gripped her hands into fists of frustration beside her. How would she ever maintain the upper hand in a discussion with him if she couldn’t even talk to him through a speaker without getting overemotional?
“For now,” he replied. She could hear his impatience.
“And then you’ll be on your way?”
“For now,” he repeated.
She hit the button that unlocked the downstairs door and said, “Apartment 303.”
“I know.”
He probably knew everything by now. In some ways the thought was a relief, but in others? Well, she’d cross those bridges when she got to them, just like she always did. She opened her front door and waited for the chime of the elevator down the hall. She didn’t have to wait long.
If she’d thought her gut response to Van’s image on the screen had been strong, it was nothing compared to how she felt as he strode out of the elevator and down the corridor toward her. As dark and saturnine as ever and dressed in a black fitted T-shirt and black jeans, he looked as if he was on a stealth mission. A frisson of fear rippled across the back of her neck and she stepped away the moment he drew near.
Van’s eyes scanned her thoroughly and she felt their intensity as if it was a physical touch. Her body responded in kind, her nipples beading into tight points, a flare of desire burning at her core.
“Come in. Make yourself at home,” she said pithily as he stepped inside. “Just close the door behind you.”
He did exactly that and she stood in the middle of the room, watching him as he made himself quite comfortable on her sofa and stretched his legs out before him. He looked as if he was here for no more than a social visit, but she knew the truth.
“How did you find me? Did Dani—?”
“She didn’t tell me a word and she was better at hiding you than I thought she’d be. Did you know she set up a corporation to rent this place for you and to administer the money for your upkeep?”
Kayla nodded. She, too, had been surprised at the lengths Dani had been prepared to go to hide her trail, but she’d been so glad for an out that she hadn’t stopped to think about the how—she’d just wanted to be gone.
“Why, Kayla? Why leave me? I thought that was my specialty,” he said ruefully.
His attempt at humor fell dreadfully flat, at least as far as she was concerned.
“I had to do what was best for the children,” she said vehemently. At least, that was what she’d constantly told herself as she lay in bed at night, reliving their lovemaking and wishing she could convince herself it was better to be away and trying to be happy than to be with him and miserable instead.
“How is Sienna doing?”
Kayla nodded. “She’s fine. Adjusting happily and making friends at playgroup.”
“They make friends at this age?”
“Well, they play alongside one another,” she conceded.
“Good. I’m glad she’s okay. And the baby? Have you been to the doctor? I’m assuming you transferred to a new doctor up here?”
She nodded. “Everything is textbook perfect. Look, Van, stop beating around the bush. Si
enna’s fine, the baby’s fine and I’m fine. What do you want?”
“I want you back.”
“That’s not going to happen. We tried it—it didn’t work. In my newfound maturity I’m trying to learn from my mistakes. Besides, Dani told me that the two of you were together again, that you wanted me gone.”
Finally a slow-burning anger began to take over the anxiety. She fed on it, allowed it to grow and take shape, knowing she’d need it to buoy her through the next few minutes.
“Look, Van, we’re happy here without you. We don’t need you. We never did, to be honest.” She crossed her fingers behind her back. “My children deserve stability and constancy in their lives. And we both know you’re incapable of that. I know you can shower them with everything that money can buy and send them to the best schools, but I also know that you won’t be there for them when they really need you, because you won’t let yourself love them—or anyone else.”
Van looked at her, pain reflected in his eyes. She felt a pang of remorse for being so blunt but someone had to say it. The time for tiptoeing around the truth was long past.
“That might have been true of me before, but it’s not true now. And as to Dani—she’s in my past, where she belongs. She might have hoped we’d get back together, but that’s never going to happen. We no longer even work together. She should never have interfered. I mean it when I say I want you back home, Kayla. You and Sienna.”
Kayla sighed and shook her head as she sat in one of the armchairs opposite the sofa. “Van, you say you want us there now, but how can you be sure? You can’t just turn love on and off like a tap—there when it’s convenient for you and gone when it’s not.”
“You’re right, but I can learn if you’ll let me.”
“And if you decide it’s not for you after all? What then? You just make yourself emotionally and physically unavailable to your son and daughter and carry on with your life with a clear conscience, telling yourself you tried? That’s not good enough. They deserve better than that. I deserve better than that.”
One Heir...or Two? Page 16