by A. C. Wilson
***
Rayne tugged another wet shirt from the plastic laundry basket. She pulled two wooden clothes line clips from the fabric pouch and clipped the shirt to the line to dry in the sun. She was so completely engrossed in her project that she didn’t hear Garrett’s truck pull into the yard until he was parked. Her heart started to pound at the way he stopped suddenly, threw it in park and hopped out. The slam of the truck door made her jump. She took a deep breath, but didn’t turn around to greet Garrett.
His footsteps crunched along the ground as he moved towards her and her hands trembled as she tried and retried to hang another shirt. A firm hand grabbed her shoulder and turned her efficiently toward him. Rayne dropped the shirt as Garrett’s lips crushed down on hers. Her heart jumped into her throat as she responded the only way she knew how to him. His tongue slipped inside her mouth to tease, to caress, and to burn. She knew this side of him well. He was branding her as his own. Garrett wasn’t forceful or rough, but firm and confident. It only made her heart ache more for what she might never be able to give him. It was a shame she couldn’t dam up and forget.
Tears started to course down her cheeks and a sob broke their kiss. One look at Garrett spoke eloquently of his confusion and anxiety. Rayne thought her heart literally broke at this. She couldn’t bear to hurt him in this way and it all seemed like an evil, vindictive maze. She put her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes. She thought for sure Garrett would pull away and leave her standing there.
His chest was warm and solid as he pulled her against it. Rayne felt fragile as if at any moment she was going to splinter apart. There was no hesitation as she fisted her hands in his shirt and clung to him. He was her foundation and he was the love of her life. As hard as she tried to prepare herself for him walking away, it was a firm fact that she needed him.
“Babe, you need to tell me what is going on. I’m about to lose my mind.” Garrett’s guttural plea was felt more than heard. She couldn’t help the shaking her body was doing. Her emotions were everywhere all at once. Sometimes she felt completely mental.
“Garrett, I’ve wanted to tell you. I’ve failed you and I’m so so sorry.” Sobs wracked her body as everything she tried to say came out jerky. He leaned back slightly and ran a large palm up to support her tear-stained face.
“You could never fail me. I love you, Rayne. It will never change.” She could hear the fear in his voice. He was afraid of what she was going to say. It was like a demon inside her throat, teasing her with whether she should tell him or not. It was driving her crazy. Rayne swallowed hard trying to dislodge the lump that had taken up residence. Garrett tipped her face up to look at him.
“I can’t get pregnant.” It came out in one long string and she wasn’t sure he had understood her. The tears were back and so were the sobs. She crumpled into his arms and Garrett supported her. They stood in the midst of damp laundry on a clothes line. It might as well have been another planet.
“Rayne, it has only been a few months since we started trying. I know what you’ve been through, but it just isn’t our time.” Garrett spoke softly as he tried to sooth each of their nerves.
“I talked to my doctor. She thinks my miscarriage may have damaged something.” Rayne’s eyes were so sore from crying over the last few days and now they felt like scalding sand behind her lids. Her heart was breaking. A baby was something she wanted so badly and everyone she knew seemed to be having such an easy time getting pregnant. It felt like a slight from God.
“We will find a different doctor. We will do whatever we need to do, Rayne.” Garrett put both hands on her shoulders and leaned her back from him. She peered up at him through sticky lashes. “I need you. I love you. If I get nothing else in my life, I will be the happiest man alive.” He waited for her to accept this. All she could do was nod stiffly and he pulled her back against him. She closed her eyes and burrowed into his chest. Rayne needed whatever comfort he could provide. The wounds seemed too great to heal on their own. It was a mountain too high to scale all alone.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Blake leaned against the fence with his forearms draped over the rounded poles. He watched as Bailey rode Liberty with such fluid motion. The two of them looked as if they were dancing, completely in sync with each other. It was amazing to watch and he couldn’t take his eyes away. Ever since they had kissed yesterday, Blake could think of little else. It had consumed him and burrowed down deep. It was captivating as well as frightening. It was upsetting to finally find that one person you know could change everything and realize all you have to give them is broken. He was broken.
She’s broken.
That might be the truth, but he was afraid he couldn’t be healed. Time is the factor that worried him most. It seemed so long, so uncertain. Bailey slowed Liberty to a trot and waved at him. Her cheeks were pink and it was too early in the morning to blame it on the heat.
The heat outside anyway.
Blake couldn’t help but wonder how much passion filled this woman on the inside. All of her emotions had to be so vibrant and strong in order to hang on as long as she had for her sister. He questioned just how strong she was to be pushed away and abused simply by being herself. Anyone weaker would have fled long ago or succumbed to the torment.
Blake heard a truck pull through the front gates and he turned to look. It was Matt Johnson. He hadn’t spoken to Matt since he had come back to check on Bailey in the office. Her boss was pretty hard to pin down as of late. At least Blake liked Matt better than Garrett and that was saying quite a bit. It still didn’t sit well that Garrett thought he was after his girlfriend. Some guys couldn’t see what was right in front of them. They only feared having something taken away that they love.
“Good morning, Blake.” Matt greeted him as he came towards the round pen. Blake offered a friendly smile and shook Matt’s hand. They both stood watching Bailey and Liberty move gracefully around the open space. Blake felt his heart swell with pride. He longed to be free and the look on her face told him that she felt this way on the back of her horse.
“Declan has kept me in the loop on Bailey. Thank you for watching out for her.” Matt’s voice was lowered so that Bailey wouldn’t hear. He kept a soft smile on his lips as he spoke. Blake took a deep breath and nodded.
“She still hasn’t told me much about it. Her family life was worse than most of us thought. Trouble is her sister is still in that house with that…man.” Blake tripped over the word. He had wanted to call Bailey’s stepfather so many other things. Matt grimaced and then replaced the smile. Blake knew that Matt cared about Bailey. He was taking everything Blake said under advisement and with reasonable action.
Why had no one else believed her?
“No one should have to suffer in any case. I’ve put a call into my lawyers in Rapid City. They are trying to find someone who doesn’t mind throwing their weight around down here. I’ll let you know what I find out.” Matt’s grin widened, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Blake turned his attention to the arena and saw Bailey walking Liberty over to them.
“Hey, Matt! We were supposed to see you yesterday. Is everything all right with Andy?” Bailey’s brown eyes narrowed with concern. Matt popped his shoulders up, but kept quiet. He was worried. Blake could see it in the way lines creased his forehead and dark circles sat underneath his eyes. Matt was a wreck!
“Don’t worry about the center. Declan and I can handle it. I do have a few papers for you to sign before I can send them out if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes. I’ll go and grab them.” Bailey tied Liberty’s lead to the panel and moved off towards the office. Blake watched her as she crossed the yard.
“I don’t know whether to confront her stepfather and see if a man to man chat would be worth the time. Have you ever met Marty Green?” Blake asked Matt, who was watching the front driveway. Another truck was turning into the property.
“No, I can’t say that I have. If you do go, I suggest taking someone else with you and not
Bailey. Be prepared for anything.” Matt’s voice was laced with concern. Blake hesitated to mention that he had spent enough time in a war zone to know just how dangerous things could get. He never did go anywhere without backup and it was something he probably shouldn’t start. Declan would go with him if he asked. Blake watched as the truck pulled up just a few feet from the pen. Matt smiled at the woman in the passenger side.
She was a very pretty woman with dark brown hair pulled back and she greeted Matt as she rolled down the window. Matt teased her as she handed over a set of keys and the man driving laughed out loud. It was clear from the conversation that the couple was leaving and Matt would be looking in on their house. Blake’s attention was alerted when the woman asked Matt about him.
“Matt? Who is that man?” She was staring at Blake and he was anxious about her curiosity. Blake’s senses sprang into high alert. His posture straightened and his muscles tensed.
“Blake Phails. He’s been working with the horses.” Matt’s smile faltered and he ran a hand over his chin. The woman didn’t seem to notice Matt’s withdrawal.
“He just looks familiar to me.” She tipped her head thoughtfully and then swatted Matt. “We’ll talk with you later.” Waving at Matt, the couple pulled out of the drive and left. Blake watched until the truck was out of sight and then turned back to Matt.
“Who were they?” Blake couldn’t help the question. She had been really interested in him for some reason. He should at least know who she was.
“She is my sister, Nora and her husband, Randy. They are going on their second honeymoon.” Matt rested his arms up on the fence and patted Liberty’s nose when she stretched to sniff him.
“They didn’t get to go on their first honeymoon?” Blake wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but he didn’t much care for awkward silence.
“No, not really.” Matt shrugged. “They did go, but it wasn’t until a few months ago that they finally accepted the relationship. Nora has a son with another man and it was rather interesting including Colt into the family. My sister was lucky enough to have realized she was in love with Randy and now they are very similar to a newly married couple.” Matt couldn’t seem to help the small grin that settled on his face. His blue eyes winked with pride. He loved his siblings and he loved his family. Blake envied that. He had always longed for the same.
“How about you? Any family of your own?” Matt asked as he looked out over the center. The morning sunshine was starting to warm things right up. There were even some banked clouds looming on the horizon which just might mean some thunderstorms later in the day.
“I lived with my mother. We didn’t have any family to speak of, but I had a best friend who was a brother to me. We both enlisted in the Army. He didn’t make it out of our last tour.” Blake felt his throat constricting and he cleared it roughly. This was certainly more than he had thought to share. He didn’t want to analyze it. Matt’s attention and familiar blue eyes pulled him closer. Blake’s pulse pumped with renewed anxiety. Instinctively he reached out to Liberty and let her soft puffs of breath break over his skin.
“I think I might have family here in South Dakota. I don’t know really, but I have a photograph my mother left me. No name, just Hot Springs scrawled across the back.” Blake moved in a trance as his fingers kept rhythmically rubbing Liberty’s nose. The words just seemed to fall out of him. His heart still raced, but he held onto his connection with Liberty.
“I would love to help you find your family, Blake. Come to the dance tomorrow. My parents will be there and we will see what we can find out.” Matt’s voice was even, confident, and solid. There wasn’t a shred of pity. Matt genuinely wanted to help and Blake knew that he would let him.
“Bailey is going with me.” Blake couldn’t help the smile that quirked the corners of his mouth at the mention of Bailey. His tunnel vision switched to include Bailey along with Liberty. It was almost as if they were one and the same. She could calm him down. It was a miracle and one he was grateful to experience even if just for a brief time.
“Good. She deserves to have a good time.” Matt nodded and kept watch over the prairie. He was careful not to direct too much attention to Blake, but to be present just the same.
“Who deserves to have a good time?” Bailey’s voice cut into the conversation and Blake couldn’t help but tense.
“Blake says you’ve accepted his invitation to the community dance tomorrow. You work too hard. You deserve to have some fun.” Matt grinned at her and his pensive shadow lifted for the moment. Bailey blushed and smiled brilliantly. Looking up at him, she noticed his attention and she bit her bottom lip. Her soft chocolate eyes twinkled. Blake’s heart rate slowed to a deep thud.
“I hope no one notices my two left feet.” Bailey’s laugh sounded like the tinkling of crystal. Blake loved it.
“You better practice before tomorrow then.” Matt chuckled and took the pen from her hand. She handed over the papers he needed to sign. Her eyes looked up into Blake’s again and he saw the mischief there. He wanted her to hold onto that fun, carefree side. She was radiant and angelic.
My radiant angel. My favorite secret.
Any other person who heard these inner thoughts would think him daft. Yet his feelings for Bailey, their depth and certainty were a secret to all but him. They might always be a secret, but one that he would cherish forever.
“There.” Matt handed Bailey the signed sheets and her pen back. “Is there anything else that you need from me?” Matt settled his hands on his hips and once more took over the serious business owner.
“No, everything else is good. I’m going to take Blake over to see Chap.” Bailey grinned past Matt to see that Blake was paying attention. He certainly was as his brow lifted.
“Get that man on a horse.” Matt threw it out there and chuckled. Blake’s eyes widened. He had never been on a horse before. Being on the ground was enough.
“Aye! Aye!” Bailey saluted Matt with her pen and Matt waved at them both before leaving. Blake couldn’t help but stare at her with his mouth nearly on the ground. She was grinning wickedly at him.
“I’ve never been on a horse before.” Blake forced the thought out into the open. Bailey shrugged softly and turned towards the office.
“I have to drop these off and then we’ll get Chap out.” She acted as if she hadn’t weighed his words. The inner panic was starting to come back. He didn’t know what to do. He stood there nearly rooted to the ground.
“Blake.” Bailey’s voice penetrated the rolling fog and brought his eyes to hers. “Follow me.” Bailey firmly ordered him and damned if his feet didn’t follow. He paused at the door of the office and she came back out with two bottles of cold water. Handing him one, she marched across the yard towards the stable. Chap’s dark nose lifted over the stall door when they entered into the building. Blake watched the buckskin as one might watch a stray dog wondering whether it was friendly or not. Of course he knew the horse was friendly, but right at that minute it didn’t matter.
“I’m not going to make you get on him today if you aren’t ready. We are just getting him out of his stall and moving him around outside. He will be eternally grateful for it.” Bailey’s voice was soft and soothing. There were no more orders. Now she crooned and touched the horse as Blake thought he might wish to be touched. His skin tingled at the idea.
Bailey clipped the lead onto the bridle and they walked out into the morning sunshine. Once they were several feet out of the stable, Bailey halted Chap and held the braided rope out to him. Blake felt the apprehension stiffen his muscles. Fingers gripped his hand tightly. Bailey stepped towards him and waited. Blake took a deep breath and let his senses calm.
“Blake.” Her voice was soft and gentle. He leveled his gaze on her face and focused on the warmth he saw there. Her hand let go of his and she touched his cheek. “We are just walking. Walk with me.” A command couched with tenderness. Blake thought he could handle that.
The walk w
as short as they came up to Liberty and the mare greeted Chap. Both horses seemed happy to join each other. Bailey offered him the rope again and this time he reached for it without thinking. His fingers curled around the braid and he watched as Bailey came out with Liberty.
“Ready?” Bailey kept checking in with him, but she never waited for an answer. It was almost as if she was giving a warning instead of asking permission. He liked it. They walked up and down the grass with the two horses. Blake listened to the heavy steps of Chap beside him. The horse wasn’t overly tall and he was careful. Occasionally the animal would shake his head and toss his mane about as insects flew up from the taller grass. The sun was high in the sky now and it had to be in the nineties. He couldn’t help but notice the heavy thunderheads rolling in and wondering how quickly they would break loose.
“Looks like it is going to be a noisy afternoon.” Bailey looked up at the sky and scanned the horizon. The clouds were dark grey with a purplish hue. It wasn’t going to be nice.
“How bad?” Blake asked, his heart beating more quickly now. He hadn’t been in a thunderstorm yet. Even an overly crowded room made him nervous. Chap slowed his walk and Bailey moved Liberty further away. The space helped.
“We should probably get these guys back inside. We will make sure there isn’t anything loose hanging around that the wind could blow away. Then we will just ride it out.” Bailey sounded so confident and in charge. He trusted her. He knew he could only follow her lead.
The horses were put away, their waters filled, and the loose buckets stacked inside. Bailey turned on the radio inside the stable and laughed when she saw his confusion.
“Sometimes the sound of voices calms them down when there is a storm. They don’t feel so alone.” She offered and walked him to the front door. Once they were outside, she secured the latch and they stepped out from the eves to see the storm rolling quickly into the area. Blake pulled out his phone from his pocket and clicked on his weather application.