by A. C. Wilson
Well he damn sure wasn’t calm!
He turned away from the horses, took the few feet to the wood wall and rested his forehead against the cool surface. It smelled as only wood was able and the sweet hay wafted up. He was sweating so much that it trickled down his spine and into the top of his jeans. His chest clenched with the force of his anxiety and for one brief moment, he wished he had those pills. His fists curled and tightened as he fought for a steady breath. Blake’s anger swirled and blossomed as he felt the first tear skitter down his cheek. He knew he was shutting down and it scared him. Darkness was not a good place to hide, if you could hide in it. In those shadows you couldn’t see the enemy lurking and waiting for the first drop of blood, for the first to break. It was swirling wider and wider until he thought he could see it and he was afraid to take his eyes off of it.
What if today is the day it takes me?
What if I can’t fight it off?
A loud crack sounded and it jolted him. It make him jerk and look around with glazed eyes. It was happening to him. There was no numbness left, it was all about feeling and he hated it. Fear and anger sucked at him like a leach and he didn’t the know how to pull it off.
“Blake?” His name came like a dream, a wispy, golden hope. He looked tentatively around in case it was the darkness teasing him and he saw her. An angel with the sunlight at her back. Blake blinked his eyes slowly for the tears to clear but they didn’t disperse. She pressed her lips together and moved slowly in his direction. Her blonde hair fell around her shoulders and her brown eyes were wide with worry. She stopped short of him a couple of feet and a frown marred her perfect lips. His heart banged painfully against his ribs as he closed his eyes hoping to slow it down. Blake could hear her breaths as she sucked them through her teeth as if she were the one in pain. His fingers itched to touch her, to make her real.
“I’m here.” Her breathless whisper reached his ears and he trembled uncontrollably. His jaw clenched and he reached a hand out to her. It seemed like hours before she grasped him and held tightly. It was all he needed to pull her swiftly to him and he heard the breath leave her body when she collided with him. Blake opened his mouth to actually take a breath as his head tipped up. The warmth and firmness of Bailey’s body was pressed tightly against his own. In a sudden, desperate need to feel something good, Blake crushed her lips with his. She whimpered in surprise and submission. One muscular arm braced his angel against him and the other mapped her curves.
Bailey was still wearing her capris and t-shirt she had slept in last night. She must have come after him when he couldn’t be inside anymore. His deft fingers teased the curve of her breast and then found her tight nipple. Rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, Blake absorbed her gasp. She wasn’t a passive lover and she thrust her tongue into his mouth. Both dueling for rights of the other. His heart was racing or maybe it was hers, he wasn’t sure. Blake started to feel the fog lifting as he gave his soul to her. She was going to save him and he knew it as certain as he was to breathe. He was addicted to the sweetness and he needed more. It could vanish from his life and that terrified him. Leaving off from her breast, Blake made a forward push to slip his hand into her capris and find the beautiful spring. She was indeed wet and waiting as he knew she would be. Bailey broke their kiss and panted into the side of his neck. His madness was returning, but not from the darkness that nearly claimed him moments ago. A thick finger slipped inside and it burned them both. The flames were higher than they had ever been before and there was a blatant urge to go up in smoke.
“Don’t stop, please.” Bailey’s wild plea was the little push he needed to fully commit. He took his hand away from that sweet siren and moved forward to pin Bailey against the wall. She wasn’t waiting for permission as she reached for his jeans and unbuttoned him. He growled when he felt the pressure released and his erection springing forth. Blake moved his body into hers. It forced her to straighten and as she did he divested her capris and panties from her. The cooler air met hot skin and Bailey’s adorable brown eyes smoldered. She wanted him in the worst way and he could absolutely say he wanted her.
“Kiss me.” Bailey directed him and he lifted a corner of his mouth into a wicked grin. One swift lift brought her legs around his hips and her sweet warmth down around him. He stilled as the moment dawned on him. The angry, battle scarred emotions paled in comparison to this. He looked Bailey in the eye and she was staring right back at him. There was no pretending anymore, no hiding the demons he was fighting. Lowering her head to kiss him, he felt her absorb the despair and leave hope in its wake.
Her hips rocked against his cock as he rested her against the wood. His fingers bit into the plump skin of her waist as he worked himself in and out. She was so wet and sweet that it was going to be a dismal holdout. He could have come when he impaled himself inside her. Bailey dug her nails into his shirt and held on for dear life. Her head was tipped back with a look of complete and utter awe. Her emotions mirrored his own. Nothing would ever compare to this…to them. Blake pumped into her until he had no idea where he ended and she began. It was the pinnacle of heaven when they both shattered together.
CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
Her legs were still wrapped around his hips when he realized just where he was and what had happened. Blake felt his stomach slide as he took stock of the situation and how the hell he had let this happen. He wanted Bailey in the worst way possible, but it hadn’t been right to take her in the stable. He looked cautiously into her face, hoping he wouldn’t see regret in those chocolate depths. He didn’t. Bailey was watching him as carefully as he watched her, but all he could see was joy on her face. She offered him a sexy smile and he couldn’t do anything but smile in return.
“Don’t you dare regret this, Blake Phails! I won’t let you.” A hardness invaded her eyes and he felt the full impact of her words. She was completely serious and as much as he wished he had had sex with her in some other place than the stable, he couldn’t regret the act. Blake gave her hips a squeeze and loved how she was wrapped around him.
“I don’t regret it.” He offered a sly grin. “I could have done better somewhere else.” He tipped his head to indicate the tack wall they were resting against. Bailey’s eyes widened a bit and she chuckled into his neck. Her warm breath made the remaining darkness slide back further.
“You were amazing.” Her muffled voice tickled his neck and filtered through his ear. He couldn’t help the broad grin that spread over his face.
“We were amazing.” He mimicked her hushed, intimate whisper. The brush of her soft lips at the base of his throat caused him to sigh. She was good for him. He hoped fervently that he would be good for her. A few more minutes she kissed his neck up to his jaw and her hands explored his scalp. Bailey’s breathing came a bit faster as she settled her breasts against his chest. The tiniest intrusion from reality was starting to nudge him and he wondered how long it would be before someone walked in on them. They weren’t exactly easy to miss.
“I want to know what happened to you, Blake.” Bailey’s gentle tone conveyed her compassion. He gripped her tighter and not because she was slipping, but because he felt the threat of darkness edging in. It made him afraid to relive the more painful moments.
“I need to tell you, babe, but I’m not sure that I can.” Blake swallowed hard as he tried to focus on her warmth. He remembered the sunlight that came with Bailey and he wanted to absorb that now.
“I don’t need the details if you aren’t ready, but help me understand the basics. I only want to protect you.” She leaned back, her movements reminding him how unprotected they were.
“Don’t you think we should go back upstairs? Besides that we may have more to talk about since I wasn’t ready for this to happen.” His gut twisted at the thought, but he could hardly deny a certain glimmer of happiness that having a family would bring to his life.
“I’m protected so don’t worry about that.” Bailey pressed her nose to his and smiled.
“Besides I’m afraid if we break apart now, you’ll not share what I need to know.” Her eyes were certain and steadfast in their convictions. She wasn’t about to let him squirm his way out of this one.
“I am Sergeant First Class and platoon sergeant for a Stryker Battalion out of Fort Lewis in Washington.” That was the easy part to tell her, but the rest was more difficult. He was going to spare her the gory details. “My last tour in Afghanistan ended only a few months ago when I was injured and my best friend was killed.” Blake couldn’t help but hear the blasts that rocked his nightmares. Sand, brick, and hot metal flew every which way. His chest constricted and his grip on Bailey tightened.
“Tanner and I grew up together outside of Dallas. My mother was an alcoholic and Tanner only had his grandmother to care about him. We were as close to being brothers as we could be.” Blake knew how the story sounded. It was as basic as he could get without sharing any of the details that mattered. Bailey didn’t move and she didn’t turn away. He could see the sorrow and pain that she was trying to push back.
“He died in my arms after we were attacked. I was sent to a hospital in Germany to recover from shrapnel wounds. Shortly after the PTSD set in and since then I can’t sleep. When I do, I have nightmares about the attack. I am angry and broken, Bailey. The longer I suffer the more afraid I am that this will be permanent. What if anger, despair and darkness is all I’m ever going to experience?” The last sentence he choked out as his throat was constricting his air. The pain suffocated him and it was responsible for his anger. He didn’t know what to do.
“There is hope for you, Blake. There is love and family for you.” Bailey’s wide eyes shimmered with tears and he pressed his forehead to hers. She sniffed and took his cheeks in her palms. She made him look at her.
“That pain will lessen over time, but you can’t hold yourself to blame for something that comes with war. Tanner loved you…loves you, and he would be damn sorry to see you embrace this darkness. Fight it…let me help you fight it.” Tears slid down her cheeks as she pinned him with the force of her will. For someone so sweet and beautiful, she was an avenging angel to be reckoned with. There was steel in her veins.
Blake pulled her in for a soul searing kiss and she didn’t hesitate to join him. Their tongues dueled for dominance and their hearts twined for strength. He could feel her so deeply ingrained in his body that surely Bailey Campbell was made for him. Surely they were made for each other.
“Hey guys, Matt is looking for you.” Declan’s voice broke into their spell and the moment he walked into the stable, their friend did a complete one eighty. “Oh gosh, forgive me.” Bailey put her forehead down on Blake’s shoulder and her body trembled with laughter. He was glad that she had a good sense of humor, because this was rather embarrassing.
“Uh, tell him we will be right out.” Blake cleared his throat and tried to act like he didn’t have a half-naked woman securely fastened to his front. Declan gave a wave and slipped out of the building. Bailey continued to laugh and her mirth swept him right along with it.
***
Bailey managed to extract herself with a blushing grin at his now deflated talent. She turned her face away to retrieve her capris and shimmy back into them. Blake tucked himself away and did up his jeans. She couldn’t help but watch the movement of his body appreciatively. He was definitely something to admire and she didn’t mind acknowledging that she wanted more of him. Once they were somewhat presentable considering what they had just been doing, Blake took Bailey by her hand and walked out into the morning sunshine. She heard him take a deep breath and let it out. Inwardly she wondered just what else she took for granted.
“I wonder if Andy and the baby go home today.” Bailey expressed out loud as she saw Matt’s truck parked by the office. She felt rather undressed in her pajamas but it couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t exactly a secret how she and Blake felt about each other either.
“I see Declan ran for the hills.” Blake chuckled and gripped her hand more firmly. She smiled and shook her head in mock disapproval. She was glad to see his humor returning after the frightening shadows that they’d encountered. Bailey could admit that it was scary and she wished that he hadn’t suffered so horribly. All she could do was be there for him and she intended to do just that.
“Oh he is probably lurking around somewhere. He never strays too far from a good story.” Bailey chuckled and hip checked Blake. It served to widen his grin as he pulled her into his body. Her hand escaped his grasp as she slid it around his waist and his arm rested on her shoulders.
Matt came out of the office with a folder and he closed the door when he saw them coming toward him. Waving in greeting, Bailey saw Matt taking in their appearances and she could only guess what his questions were going to be.
“Declan said you were a bit busy. I only came by to tell Blake that my dad, well our dad, wants to see him. He needs to talk to you.” Matt’s blue eyes never wavered and the curiosity in his face never changed. He didn’t look angry or confused. It made her feel better, but she wasn’t sure about Blake.
“We do.” Blake’s deep voice acknowledged Matt’s message. Bailey squeezed his waist when she saw the two guys locking eyes for far too long. No doubt both were curious about the other and she was curious as to how the Johnson family would accept him.
“I want you to know that no one is anything but curious…”Matt offered a friendly smile and nodded his head. It would probably be too soon to start calling each other brother, but at least this was a start.
“How is Andy? Are you taking her home today?” Bailey thought the buffer might work to ease Blake’s nerves. She knew he was smarting from the talk they had. Adding Travis Johnson to the list today might be interesting.
“They do and I need to get moving. No doubt my mother is already at our house adding her particular touches. Probably why my dad wanted to see you since she’s out of the house.” Matt lifted his brows as he walked around Blake and Bailey to get to his truck.
“Congratulations again, Matt.” She smiled and watched him nod back. Climbing into his truck, he was soon out of the drive. Bailey watched Blake’s face as he followed the dust trail until it was gone. His lips were pressed into a line and his brows furrowed in thought.
“I hadn’t given it much thought as to what Travis’s children would think of me.” Blake was talking to himself, but Bailey heard the uncertainty in his words. He didn’t want to destroy any more lives, even if it meant finding his own.
“They are just as surprised as you are to find this out. You aren’t to blame for wanting a family and if I know the Johnsons, they never walk away from family.” Bailey had been around long enough to hear some of the stories about Matt, Nora, and Garrett. Never in any way did their family not support them and she was certain that they would accept Blake.
“Has anyone told you that you are uncommonly hopeful?” Blake tipped his head in her direction, his blue eyes grazing over her face. She warmed from his attention.
“No, but without it, there would be little reason to hold on.” She offered a weak smile and set out towards her apartment. Blake’s hand reached out and gripped her wrist. He stopped her and she turned around slowly. His fingers rested under her chin and his thumb caressed her jaw. Wild, blue eyes met her own and she was paralyzed by the heat she saw there. Time could have stopped and they wouldn’t have recognized it. So many unspoken words passed between them. Gradually Blake removed his fingers from her face, but took up her hand, lacing their fingers together. They moved off towards the apartment in a much different place than they had started out in only days ago.
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
His stomach was hiding somewhere near his feet as he pulled into the driveway of the Crossing Pines Ranch bringing him that much closer to a man he was worried about getting to know. Blake had tried to be hopeful in convincing himself that Travis Johnson might not be his father, but the dark hair, blue eyes and hearty build stared back at him in the mirror. His mot
her was fair and dainty. He couldn’t kid himself past that point. Blake had worried about liking the man and he was already well on his way to knowing an honorable man when he saw one. Travis Johnson was honorable, friendly, and good. All the things Blake always wanted in a father and now they might possibly be in his reach.
Putting the truck in park next to the fence, Blake turned it off and got out. He took a deep breath through his nose and then let it out his mouth. The hot summer air was sweet with grass and the breeze ruffled his sleeves.
“Blake, I’m glad you came.” The welcome from a pleasant voice was almost enough to put a smile on his face.
Almost.
“Matt stopped by and said you wanted to talk.” Blake tucked his hands into his pockets and walked around to face Travis, who was pulling off his leather gloves.
“Good. I’m sorry for the way everything went last night. It took me by surprise and I didn’t know what to say.” Travis anchored his gloves in his back pocket of his jeans and moved to lean up against the truck’s hood. A man being in his mid-fifties, Travis was well muscled and showed the effects of weather and age on his face. His cobalt blue eyes twinkled. They were wise and watchful.
“I had no idea that it was you. I didn’t come here trying to catch you or accuse you of something long since passed.” Blake rested his elbows on the hood and folded his hands. He had wanted to know who the man in the photograph was and now was his chance. Travis pressed his lips together thoughtfully and never wavered his gaze from Blake’s face.
“Abbi and I were sweethearts just out of high school. Our relationship was tumultuous at best. We were together about a year when there was talk about getting married. I never wanted anything other than to take over my father’s ranch, but staying in South Dakota wasn’t what Abbi wanted. I waited for six months after she left, hoping that she would come back.” Travis ran a tanned hand over his face as he recalled the problems of that relationship. Blake’s mother had been difficult to please when he was a child and he thought it likely she had always been that way.