by A. C. Wilson
“I only knew your mother briefly, but she was beautiful and spirited. I can’t help but see a great deal of your father and grandfather standing before me though. I promise to love you like my own children, Blake. I can’t replace your mother, but if you would like to have another one…if not, I can be a good friend too.” Lacey was fighting back the tears as her voice began to fail. Blake couldn’t explain how he suddenly felt so close to her, but he let go of Bailey’s hand in order to pull Lacey into his arms. She didn’t hesitate. She wrapped her arms around his chest and sobbed into his shirt. He held her tightly until she leaned back with a trembling smile.
“Mom.” Blake met her watery eyes and released the word that sat on his tongue. His heart swelled as her face lit up. How could all of this happen? How could they have become such a permanent part of him so quickly? He wondered if maybe they had always been there. Lacey stepped away and joined the others. Travis remained where the others had stood.
Travis was a proud man, Blake could tell by the way he stood tall with his chest was puffed out. Travis was also his father and Blake sincerely hoped he would be just like him.
“Blake, my son, I know things haven’t been easy for you. I wished that I could have known you before.” Travis took a deep breath and put a hand over his heart. “It feels like you’ve always been here though.” Travis patted his chest and sniffed back tears. Blake could feel them beading in his eyes too. His chest also tightened with the deepest of emotions.
“We are your family. All of us.” Travis gestured to everyone standing together and everyone smiled back. “That’s why we wanted to do something for you. Home is about remembering the good and the bad times. It is about learning to live and learning to love. I know that you need to find peace as much as your fallen brother.” Travis stepped towards his family and Blake couldn’t take his eyes off what had been behind his father. His lungs nearly seized in torment and his vision was blinded by tears. Bailey took his hand firmly in her own. Blake stepped forward with the finesse of a toddler learning to walk. Despite Bailey holding onto him, he fell to his knees in the sweet grass and looked at the gift sitting there.
In loving memory of Tanner Briggs. Your service and friendship will never be forgotten.
The white headstone stood there with the waning sunset behind it. The stone itself looked almost as if it were glowing as Blake read and re-read the words engraved. The words were punctuated with a set of dog tags neatly outlined. Blake was so overcome with emotion that the world seemed to stop around them and he couldn’t hear anything. He choked back the lump that had formed in his throat and his palms grew sweaty. Even his nose began to run as tears fell unchecked from his eyes. Bailey touched his shoulder gently and then stepped back. Blake bowed his head and for the first time, he didn’t pray in anger. He prayed with hope in his heart and a family to hold.
CHAPTER THIRTY TWO
He could feel the nervous energy flowing right through her bare hand, she was certain of it. Blake kept looking at her as if he expected her to break and Bailey thought that she was possibly right at her limit. Her heart wouldn’t stop pounding and then it hadn’t wanted to even so much as flicker when they had brought his casket inside the chapel of the mortuary. She couldn’t take her eyes off that shiny black vessel. Even the dimmed lights glinted off the top. Taryn stood in between Bailey and Aunt Ellen. Her hand was gently tucked into Aunt Ellen’s elbow and Bailey was glad for the support. Blake stood next to her, his side directly next to the aisle. He caught her looking at him from the corner of her eye and he squeezed her hand. It was a lifeline to a better future and she clung to it.
Today was not a surreal experience. It was very real. Five years ago her mother had died and now her stepfather was gone too. She had sat up last night after Taryn had fallen asleep and considered how very small her family was. It was only her sister, her aunt and herself. Bailey raised her hand to rub the sore spot in her chest. It had been there for the last week. It never went away and she wondered if perhaps her heart was broken. The heady smell of cologne made her eyes water, or at least that was what she told herself as the pall bearers walked the casket of Marty Green back down the aisle towards the waiting hearse. Everyone stood to watch them leave and Bailey couldn’t quite turn around yet. She still faced the front of the chapel and looked at the plant stands and the pulpit.
The funeral director in his dark gray suit and shiny black shoes came to the front of the room. His black framed glasses were perched on his thin nose and his hands were folded solemnly in front. He must have been speaking, but Bailey didn’t hear him. The man looked impatient to be moving everyone along to the cemetery and he lifted a wiry brow. She couldn’t help but look blankly at him. Any other time she might have chuckled at his unvoiced tenacity, but she couldn’t even summon the courage to swallow. Bailey almost wished that she could fast forward; however, it still meant moving on and moving in general was a struggle.
Blake squeezed her hand again and pulled her closer to him. Her hand was trapped in his warmth and then he had captured her forearm under his arm too. Patiently and ever so gently, he walked her out of the pew into the carpeted aisle. She turned as the haze dropped slowly from her vision, Bailey was surprised to see just how many people had come today. She hadn’t dared to turn around or look at who entered. She had been far too worried about not making a fool of herself by retreating out of the chapel before the funeral ever started. Now she grasped the courage to look everyone in the eye and she started with the two rows that sat directly behind her family pew.
The Johnsons: Nora and Randy, Lacey and Travis, Andy and Matt, and Garrett and Rayne.
Blake’s family was all there and they offered small smiles of encouragement. Even Declan Marcos was among them with a couple of the veterans who volunteered at the center. The other side of the chapel was filled with neighbors, friends, and even strangers she had never met before. As Blake led her back to the exit and Taryn followed with Ellen, Bailey couldn’t help but wonder what her stepfather had been like before all the demons had eaten him up. She wondered what he was like as a young man and if he had liked being a soldier. Perhaps they were things she would never know and today that seemed like such a loss, even as much as losing the person.
“They came for you.” Blake’s voice broke her inner struggle and she raised her eyes to his face. As they walked outside to get into Blake’s truck, Bailey took a deep breath of the warm air.
“I thought funerals were for the deceased.” Bailey choked over the words. Everyone inside the funeral home came to pay their respects to her stepfather. He was the one that was gone. Blake halted them and turned to face her. His blue eyes were liquid pools she could have dove into on the heat of a summer afternoon. She was entranced by their intensity.
“They said their goodbyes to him, but it was you and your sister they came to support. Death has a way of reminding us that we still live. Our lives matter and we can make a difference with them.” Blake’s throat worked as he shared his personal insight. Bailey knew he was thinking of Tanner too. She slid her palms up his white dress shirt to feel the muscles of his chest. She only registered the need to press her body against his and she did. The deep recesses of those blue eyes grew hungry and darkened. Her heart surged and her insides trembled with anticipation. Blake Phails was a drug and one that she was fathomlessly addicted too. She lifted her lips to him and he didn’t hesitate. Blake kissed her hard and banded his arms around her shoulders, pinning her arms in their tight space. Bailey drank his strength and certainty in. She let it flow through her veins and buoy the sense of loss and finality.
Blake broke their kiss, but the heat in his gaze told her that he was one step from falling over the abyss. She smiled brilliantly at him. They were still holding each other when Blake’s family came to offer their condolences. It was Lacey and Travis who lingered longer than the others. Travis shook Blake’s hand and stepped away to speak quietly with him. Bailey was left watching the hearse pull away and Lacey
took a half step closer.
“We want you to know that you are a part of this family now too.” Lacey’s voice was gentle and compassionate. Bailey looked over with her lips pressed together. She wasn’t in a position to know what to say. Lacey turned so that she faced Bailey and reached out to cup her elbows. “I want you to know that I’m here for you and your sister. Whatever you need whenever you need it. I would very much like to be your friend.” Lacey’s blue eyes underscored the honesty of her words and Bailey choked back a sob. Instantly her eyes filled with tears again, but this time they weren’t because she was hurting. Lacey pulled her into a fierce embrace and she held her for a couple of minutes. Bailey hugged her back, thankful that things could really change for the better.
“Thank you for everything.” Bailey whispered heavily as she leaned back from the embrace. Lacey nodded and smiled.
“Call me anytime. I mean that.”
“Don’t worry about anything, Blake. Give me a call when you get settled.” Travis smiled warmly at his son. Another short hug from Lacey and she moved away with Travis. Blake took up his original position holding her hand and escorted her towards the truck. He opened the passenger door and helped her climb inside.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the cemetery?” Blake waited while she settled her skirt. Bailey shook her head.
“It can’t be the last thing I see of him. The memorial was enough.” She swallowed hard and sighed with relief when Blake didn’t press it further. He simply closed the door and got up into the driver’s seat. Blake started the engine and they pulled out of the parking lot onto the main street.
“What do you feel like doing now?” Blake asked her and she could have sworn she saw a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. He looked away and back to the road before she could confirm it. She thought to herself and then rolled down the window. The air blew her blonde hair all around her head and she laughed as she tried to disentangle it from her face.
“Let’s go riding.”
An hour later they were standing on the bank of the creek again where they had danced after missing the chance due to Andy’s baby. The afternoon sun was following its path lower in the sky and Bailey knew Blake had something to share. He had been rather quiet on the ride out this way. She thought at first it was because he was still inexperienced, even on Chap, but he continued to look less content. He held her against him, her back pressed to his chest and she rested her hands over his.
“Is something wrong, Blake?” She asked him, her heart taking a stutter step at the thought. Her throat felt raw from crying the last few days, but right now, the ache doubled. Blake leaned his head into her neck and kissed the tender spot behind her ear.
“I have to report back to base on Monday.” Blake’s words made her shake her head.
“Two days?” She asked, her throat closing on her own emotions. Her heart pounded fiercely.
“I am cutting it close, but I couldn’t leave today. I wanted to be here for you.” Blake’s voice was scratchy and she knew that he was having a hard time with this. He had just found his family and now he was having to say goodbye to them too. It really didn’t seem fair.
“For how long?” She wanted to turn around, but he held her firmly anchored. He ducked his lips back against her neck and she leaned more of her weight against him. Blake’s arms came up from her waist and skimmed over her breasts. He hugged her so tightly she almost couldn’t breathe.
“Six months, maybe less if the program works for me. I just have to be medically discharged and then I’m coming right back here.” Blake’s tone caused her heart to ache and he wasn’t even gone yet. Not able to take it anymore, she turned and faced him. She instantly saw the pain and sadness etched on his face. The frown that pulled at his lips urged her to kiss it away.
Bailey wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned up on her toes to kiss him. His lips were soft and pliant. He groaned and plunged his fingers into her hair. He anchored her to him and greedily took all that she was willing to give. Passion rolled through them, hungry and hot. She felt her muscles tightening in anticipation and she was already wet for him. Pressing her hands down his back to his jean clad butt, Bailey gripped him roughly. There was no mistaking where she was wanting to go and he chuckled against her mouth. Blake leaned his forehead against hers.
“I agree, but not here.” He took a shallow breath. “Can I stay with you tonight?” Her heart clenched at his request and she could only nod. She thought if she even tried to speak now, she would become a puddle of tears.
Climbing the apartment stairs, Bailey was suddenly nervous and excited for the promised delights ahead. Blake had laced their fingers as she led him with purpose towards the loft. Now that they were nearly there, her mouth was dry and her palms were sweaty. She thought that she wouldn’t be able to catch herself if she suddenly tripped. Her hand trembled on the door knob as she fumbled with the key in the lock and then finally pushed it open. Blake chuckled behind her. She felt flustered and on edge, but all of that flew right out of her head when Blake moved quickly to halt her. She was so surprised that she squeaked when he brought her flush against the wall and hardness of his body. Her brain screamed at her to take a breath, but Blake was already there kissing her lips. His hands pulled at her shirt, tugging it up swiftly and popping it up over her head. Bailey felt like she was on fire, her skin itching to touch nothing else but skin. Blake’s hands kept getting in her way as she tried to divest him of his own shirt. Frustrated she growled against his mouth and he relented to allow her time to take his shirt off.
Tossing garments to the floor, Bailey was no longer self-conscience about her body. Blake’s lips praised every square inch and wherever his tongue touched, wildfire erupted. He was still in his jeans minus his shirt and boots. Her fingers memorized each chiseled muscle on his chest and back. Shivers of suspense ran up her spine as he slipped off her jeans, leaving only her bra and panties. Her chest rose and fell as she looked down at him on his knees. Clear, brilliant blue eyes held her gaze as she searched for what he might do next. She was already throbbing with need and the longer it took for him to fulfill that need was a moment too long.
Blake grinned mischievously as he ran his fingertips up the inside of her legs to the soft skin of her thighs and her breath hitched almost painfully when he brushed the places she so desperately wanted him. The fact that his kneeling put him at exactly the right height wasn’t lost on either of them. Only when he shoved her legs further apart and dipped his tongue into that secret cavern did she rejoice in his fore thought. The hot puffs of breath tickled every nerve and the sound of Blake’s hungry groans nearly undid her right then. Unable to find office for her hands, Bailey sunk them into his scalp and urged him to go deeper. His large hands pushed her wider for him and she balanced precariously against the wall and his shoulders. He lapped and sucked until the world fell away. All that existed now was him and the fantastic peak she was about to fall off. The climax was so big and so strong that she screamed in abandon.
Blake waited until she had settled and then took her into the bedroom. Toppling her back onto the covers, it was just a matter of seconds before he tore off his jeans and boxer briefs. Bailey couldn’t help but stare at the hard, throbbing erection. She wanted him inside of her. She wanted to feel him fill up every space. Somehow he had done that to her heart and now she wanted him to complete his takeover. Raising her heated gaze to find him watching her only stoked the fires more. They were out of control and there were no banks to put them away again.
“Come here.” She hooked a finger at him and this time he came towards her. He was tired of waiting and she didn’t want to put it off. Biting her bottom lip, Bailey watched as he set a knee to the bed and crawled up over her body. He pressed a sweet kiss to her breast and then claimed her mouth. The same instant his tongue dove into the warmth he slid into her body. His thickness expanded inside her and she moaned with sheer joy. It felt right. Everything felt right.
The obli
vion swirled and beckoned as he pulled out and plunged back in. Blake kissed her fiercely and she poured her soul into him. This was their world and their love. It was amazing and beautiful with a side of desperate pain to balance it all out. When Blake pushed into her for the last time and the pulse shook his body, Bailey felt her body clamp around him. She wrapped her arms around him and let the peace settle around them. She only registered any movement when Blake shifted off of her and then pulled her against him. The covers came up over her skin and Bailey sighed happily.
“I love you.” She heard him whisper into her neck as sleep closed her eyes.
CHAPTER THIRTY THREE
Dear Bailey,
I was so lost and I guess I really didn’t know how lost I was until I came here. Hot Springs was just a name written on the back of some old photograph. A few months ago it meant very little to me and that’s the truth. It took losing something dear to me to open my eyes.
Is it wrong to say that I think I fell in love the first time I set eyes on you in the grocery parking lot? The moment you looked into my eyes and gave me that attitude, I felt my world shift. Then I thought you were just some cute thing and our conversation was some harmless flirtation. It was only when I saw you again that I realized just how real it was.
So I am sitting here in your kitchen with the overhead light on hoping you won’t wake up. I dearly hate goodbyes. One more thing that didn’t mean anything until now. I’m sorry. I’m finding this all a bit hard to take in. Right now you are probably angry and hurt. I don’t blame you. It’s okay. Go ahead and call me all the names you have building up inside you. (I promise not to laugh.)
I’m not going to ask you to wait for me. I’m not going to expect you to wait for me. Life goes on and you need to move along with it. I am as sure of that as much as I’m sure that I love you. The moment I realized it I was too dumb to say it and now that I’ve said it to you, I can’t stop myself from saying it. I can’t seem to get your beautiful brown eyes out of my head. I can’t get you out of my blood. I’m hooked. I’m yours.