“Who are the Dullahan?”
“The Headless Horsemen.”
I stared ahead for a few seconds, my frown of disbelief unable to be stifled. “Oh, good. I was hoping you’d say something terrifying.”
“They were extinct. All these creatures were. Some had absolutely terrible tempers.”
That Kerdik thought someone had a foul temper worried me; his disposition was nothing to brag about. “I’m sure if I was headless, I’d be finicky, too.”
“Now, about the Vampire curse.” He drew in a deep breath, collecting his thoughts before exhaling. “There are two types of Vampires: the Attelage and the Farouche. The Farouche feed on anyone they can get their hands on. They have no conscience, no language, no desire other than blood, blood and more blood. When I go to Urien, no doubt hunting parties will be assembled to seek out the Farouche and destroy them.”
“That’s terrible! Is there an antidote or something that can help calm them down? You were able to draw out the black snake things from me. Can you do the same for them?”
Kerdik tapped his fingers along the partition, just to amuse himself with the sound of the light rhythm. “The Farouche are doomed. If you hadn’t started talking and been able to reason, I would’ve had to lock you up, since you can’t be killed by me.”
“Grim, dude.” I tried to picture Kerdik having to lock me away or figure out a way to end me. It was at that moment I decided whatever frustrations lie ahead with my new life, I would be grateful I hadn’t ended up unsalvageable. “So I’m the Attelage kind, right? What does that mean?”
“It means that whoever you feed on first is the only one you’ll feed on until your mate dies. Then you’ll take a new mate, and it’s the same thing.” He paused a few beats. “Is the water tepid?”
“I don’t mind.”
“I’m coming back for only a minute.” Kerdik popped his head behind the partition, smirking at my squinty eye that told him he was being a very naughty boy. He pressed a kiss to my naked shoulder as he stuck his finger into the water to warm it back up for me. My limbs loosened in the heat, and despite the conversation that made me want to bolt, I leaned my head back and paused washing myself just to relax for a few beats. Kerdik gazed into the water, and I knew he was wishing Rigby hadn’t put so many bubbles in so he could see my body beneath the surface.
I lifted my finger out of the water and pointed back to the room. “Thank you, now over to the other side of the fake wall with you.”
Kerdik narrowed his eyes at me, but acquiesced. “Bastien got to you first, which is just my luck, it seems. Had you fed on me first, it would be me you craved. Now everyone else’s blood will be disgusting to you, and you and Bastien will only grow closer. Nothing comes between an Attelage and their mate.”
“You don’t want me to drink your blood. The whole thing’s awful.” The forbidden word made my tongue dry and my stomach growl. I fished around for the soap and ran my hand up my leg to scrub the day off of me.
“When Bastien passes on, you’ll feed only from me.” New light seemed to dawn on him. “The bond between a Vampire and their mate is unbreakable. When it’s our time to be together, there will be no tearing us apart. And who knows what a daily dose of blood might do for your immortality. You might just get more than a double-portion of life.” A sliver of optimism lightened his voice – the first glimmer of hope in too long. “That’s a silver lining I can celebrate.”
I laved water over my arms. “I don’t understand why you’re so good to me. I’ve been grouchy all day, and I’m engaged to someone else. Still, you act like I’m some special thing.”
“You’ve always been my special thing.”
I savored the words that made me feel precious, and then cleared my throat. “Tell me more about the monster I am now.”
“Very well. An Attelage Vampire can live on a small dose of her mate’s blood. I’ve seen some survive on as little as one meager teaspoon a week. But that was older Vampires with years of experience. You and Bastien will need to set up a schedule so you don’t get too ravenous and attack him, as you did when you first drank. It’s why I sent him away. You need to understand the hunger. Master it as much as you’re able. He gave me enough of his blood to last you a week, if you limit yourself to one taste a day. Though he’ll only be gone from you for two days, which you can manage.”
I wanted to whine. I wanted to panic. I was so hungry for Bastien; I couldn’t imagine lasting out the week like this. “I don’t think I can make it that long!”
“You can, and it’s important you do. Self-control, darling. If you want Bastien to live a long life with you, it behooves you not to drain every drop of blood from his body.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What are the other rules? What kills me? Like, silver stake to the heart? Do I flinch at crucifixes and the smell of garlic now?”
When Kerdik replied, his inflection sounded like he thought I was a dummy. “I would imagine a silver stake to anyone’s heart would do sufficient damage, but you can’t be killed by anyone’s hand, darling. You don’t need to fear that. What else do you worry about? Tell me how I can fix it.”
“I’m afraid I’ll hurt Bastien.”
“Well, that can happen. I’ve seen it plenty of times, especially during sex. Things get too heated, and the Vampire draws too much blood. A frenzy starts and the mate dies, usually either of heart failure or exsanguination. You won’t have to worry about that with me when it’s our time to be together, though. You can’t kill me. I’ll be able to give you everything you need.”
I balked at him. “Well, lay it all out for me, why don’t you? Did I just shorten Bastien’s life by like, fifty years?”
Kerdik’s reply was matter-of-fact. “I watched you. After the initial attack, you went back to being yourself. You asked for a taste, and you didn’t bite him when you took it. And that was in the first hour of your change. Remarkable, really. You’ll get the hang of it and learn the rhythm of your cravings so you don’t attack him. You’re used to denying yourself with your vegetarian diet. This is just another lesson in self-control you’ll have no trouble mastering.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. Be patient with the whole thing. Bastien knows enough about it all to make sure you don’t get too hungry.”
“But I’m hungry now,” I admitted, guilt flickering in my eyes.
“I know, darling. And you’ll learn to regulate yourself through the pain. You’re the girl who stuck to her non-meat-eating ways even when you were being starved in that well. I have no doubt that you’ll fare beautifully in this.”
“How many days until I can eat again? I need to know what I’m dealing with. When is Bastien coming back?”
“Barely a day and a half. And your mother will be here just as soon as arrangements can be made for her province. I’ll wrap this up as quick as a kingdom change can be done. While you wait, find ways to deal with the hunger so you know you can survive a few days without him, if necessary.”
I bit my lip to chew on the new information as I scrubbed my back. So much had changed about me. “So I won’t go attacking other people when I get hungry?”
“No. Do you want to drink my blood?”
I grimaced and dipped my hair into the water. “No, thanks.”
Kerdik chuckled. “Other people’s blood and even food will start to taste like sand in your mouth. The only thing you’ll enjoy is Bastien’s blood. You’re a mild predator now, which means you’re slightly more deadly in a fight, though not invincible,” he warned.
“Okay, so that’s the Vampire mojo. What did the second snake do?”
Kerdik stilled, his voice taut with apprehension. “What do you mean? I got them both out. It left its mark, sure, but you’ll be able to control your urges well enough, since you weren’t infected over a prolonged period of time.”
“No, there were two. I saw two snakes go inside of me. Both had an end that broke off in my body before you yanked the bulk
of them out.”
Kerdik’s eyes widened in horror. “Why didn’t you say something? Come out of the tub right now!” He deflated with worry while I stepped out of the tub and wrapped the towel around me. “But it’s been too long. It’s set in you now. Rosie, no! What is it? What is it doing to you?”
I shrugged, perplexed as I came out from behind the partition. “I don’t know. I mean, nothing so far, I don’t think. Is there like, a monster glossary or something? I don’t know what I’m supposed to be looking for.”
Kerdik checked my spine, my palms, under both arms, my throat, my teeth, my tonsils, and finally my eyes. “I don’t see anything else. That was really something you should’ve spoken up about.”
I harrumphed. “One day I hope you come to Common just so you can try to keep up, and I can say condescending things like, ‘You should really look both ways before you cross the street.’”
We stared at each other a few seconds, letting the weight of me traveling with some unknown bit of darkness rest between us. Kerdik’s hands moved slowly around my waist, which was when I remembered I was still in a towel, and what we were doing was totally weird. I know, I’m slow on the uptake, but to be fair, I’ve now got a Vampire brain. “I’ll get dressed.”
Kerdik took in my dripping form and swallowed thickly. “I’ll wait outside.”
26
Tea Time with Rigby
Going through Morgan’s stuff was a task I was unprepared for. Kerdik left me only after he’d sent for Maurice, and had given each of the soldiers and household staff members a talk that put untold fear in them and made them look at the floor whenever I came near. I sent Kerdik off with two barrels full of the crown jewels for Lane and my dad to keep in their treasury, and a modest fortune for Demi’s family.
I took a break and spent a little time in the kitchen with Fabien. Fabien was huge and looked like he could do some serious damage with his massive fists, but he was meek as a kitten, working delicately with the pastry we rolled out together. He helped me make an apology gift for Bastien of a blackberry pie while I puzzled out what to do with Province 1 with Fabian. It was my traditional “I screwed up” offering – my very own humble pie.
Rigby and I were making decent progress with Morgan’s bedroom after I’d taken care of a few points of business. It was your basic “Keep or Pitch” routine that had to be done. To my credit, I didn’t cry once, and I only tripped over the hem of my gown six times. The long dress cut just below my breasts and hung loosely to the floor. I didn’t mind the getup so much because I didn’t have to wear a corset this time around. The long skirt was pink with gold trim, as were all my clothes when I lived here. The capped sleeves were pretty and delicate, reminding me that there were parts of me that weren’t entirely monster. The birds that flew in and out of the bedroom window were gracious to my delicate state, and braided flowers in my hair when they sensed I was feeling low.
When the sun finally fell, my yawns couldn’t be stifled. “Shall I summon a soumettre to warm your bed, your grace?” Rigby offered as he drew the curtains shut.
I blushed. “Oh, no thanks. I’m engaged to Bastien, so I’m not trying to be sleeping around. But if you could grab me some new sheets, I’d appreciate it. I don’t feel right sleeping on hers.”
“Of course, your majesty. No one has lain on them since my last rendezvous with Morgan, but if you wish it, new ones will be sent for.”
I froze, not recalling until just then that not only had Rigby lost his boss, but the two had also been intimate. He’d lost Morgan, yet he was expected to be at work, bright and shiny to wait on Morgan’s murderer the very next day. “Sit down, Rigs.”
Rigby obeyed, moving to the golden table and chairs near the window. Morgan had eaten many a meal there, and I wondered if he had been permitted to eat there with her, as well. Judging by the hesitation in his step, I guessed this was his first time being invited to the table.
“My name is Rigby, your grace,” he reminded me with a firm politeness, his posture rigid as he sat.
“Did you like it when I called you that before it all went south?”
He nodded, unable to make eye contact. “I looked forward to it every morning. Some days it was my only reminder that I was a person. But I don’t deserve it now, so do not give me what I crave.”
My bare feet brushed to the stone floor, placing me right in front of him so he couldn’t look away. I bent over and leaned on the gold table, so we were on the same level. “Let’s get a few things out in the open, okay? I was terrified when I first moved in here, but you and Demi made it all bearable. I get the whole master/slave mentality, and I understand you were just doing as you were ordered. However, I don’t like that you let it all happen. You didn’t love me. You also saw me mostly naked, and that’s not cool.” I sighed, closing my eyes. “But I killed your great love yesterday, so I’m thinking that makes us sort of even. I don’t have the energy to be mad at you. It is what it is, and the whole thing was crappy.”
“I did not love Morgan,” he corrected me with an incredulous look. “I was addicted to her in the beginning, but that was never love. I was commanded to serve her, so I did. I saw many before me lose their heads because they did not perform for her whims with unswerving devotion. I did what I had to so I could survive, and help the other servants keep their heads.” His guilty gaze flicked to me. “And if coming here every day and looking you in the eye to face all I’ve done to you is what’s required of me, I’ll do that, as well.”
“Hey,” I cooed, keeping my voice soft as my head tilted to the side. “I’m doing this all wrong. You’re grieving, and me being here is making things all confusing for you. You should take some time to mourn. Deal with it all. Did you want a few days for a vacation? Go see your family or something?”
Rigs blinked at me in confusion. “I don’t have family. The servants here are my family. I’ll not leave them when things are still shifting. If I serve you, the rest of the household falls in line far easier.”
“And I appreciate that, but you’re going through a lot right now. Talk to me.”
Rigby studied my features, seeking out any ulterior motive for a person to be kind. It broke my heart a little to see such a small gesture be so perplexing. “I’ll not trouble you with a servant’s musings. You’re tired. You should go to sleep.”
“I will, but you can unload while I wind down. I’m listening.”
It took a few starts and stops, but eventually Rigby found his own voice. When the words came out of him, they were two steps forward, one step back. An admission of a feeling, and then backpedaling with oaths of loyalty to Avalon. I felt terrible for him, not being permitted to voice a simple feeling all these years. Now that he had the chance, he was all turned around.
After about ten minutes of easing himself in, Rigby began to unload years of abuse. He stared out the window, as if confessing to the quietness of nature all the depraved things Morgan had made him do. I’m not sure how either of us found the strength to make it through the conversation, but with my hand atop his, Rigby powered through, checking my eyes for judgment all the while as we sat at the gold table like old friends.
Therapy time came to an end when my tenth yawn couldn’t be stifled. “Forgive me, your grace. I’ve taken advantage. Let me help you into your nightgown and fetch you some tea.”
I waved off his thoughtfulness. “That’s alright. I can get dressed myself. Man, you’re about to have a lot of free time on your hands.”
“It’s my joy to serve you in whatever capacity you need. Shall I fetch you a new soumettre? Perhaps someone younger to suit your fancy?”
I gagged dramatically. “No, thanks. In fact, the existing soumettres in the castle are officially freed. They can work in the castle for pay, or they can go back to their families. Whatever they like.”
Rigby blinked like I’d said something crazy. “Freed?”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know what to do with that,” he admitt
ed. “I’d like to stay on and serve the throne, if you’ll have me.”
“Of course, but it’s your choice.”
Rigby nodded, as if confused by the notion of choice. “Thank you, your grace. I’m certain a few of the servants would jump at the chance to warm your bed – freed or not.”
“Sheesh. I don’t need it floating around that I’ve picked up Morgan’s bad habits. I’m engaged to Bastien.” I winced. “If he’ll still have me, that is. Ugh. Screw my life.”
Rigby studied my labored movements. “Engaged to the Untouchable, yet Master Kerdik bathes you?”
I blushed, my neck shrinking. “He didn’t bathe me. He just kept me company on the other side of the divide. Kerdik is my…” I struggled to find the right word. “Okay, fine. Kerdik’s my one terrible crime. But that doesn’t mean I’m sleeping around. I’m always either with my fiancé or my boyfr…” I cringed. “Please don’t make me talk about this.”
An amused smile played on the corners of Rigby’s thin lips. “I’ll be back with your tea.”
27
Letting Him Hold Me
My clothes had been brought down for me, so I sifted through them until I found the long, comfy dressing gown that was thin and not cumbersome. After all the blood, a simple white gown felt necessary – healing, in a way. Would that my insides were just as unblemished.
Rigby returned with a tea tray and a leather journal. “I brought this for you. I thought you might like to read some of Demi’s poetry. I didn’t think his family should read it. Some of his confessions about his time here were quite graphic. But if you would like to remember his love for you, this might help.” When Rigby sensed my hesitance, he pressed on. “Everything we have belongs to the queen, so though Demi wrote in this, it was never his, and now belongs to you.”
Stubborn Girl_A Fantasy Adventure Page 14