Wes and I made a final sweep through the room when I saw one last drawing of a cross. I sat back on the bed and motioned for Wes to sit by me. He took my hand and held it tightly in both of his.
“Would you have prayed with me when I was little?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Pawpaw, Charles, would come to my room every night to pray with me. We would kneel down by the bed and I would bless everyone in the world. Even you. Often, I would ask God to bless my real daddy. Then Pawpaw would pick me up, swing my legs up on the bed, then lay down beside me until I fell asleep. I loved it, it was some of my happiest memories. But I was stupid and a week before Mimi died, I told him I was too old to be tucked in by him. So, he stopped. I would give anything to have him tuck me in one more time.”
Wes tucked my hair behind my ear. “He knew you loved him. He loved you too.” He paused and swallowed. “I would have given anything to have been able to tuck you in. And in case you were wondering, I prayed for you every night. The best part of my week was getting an email from Ruth Anne telling me about your week. I know I’m going to have to prove it to you, but I do love you.”
Ann walked in the room and handed me a letter, she started wringing her hands together instantly. The tension in the room was palpable.
“Lucky just dropped this off then left. He wouldn’t even talk to me. He said it was his goodbye.”
My Annie,
When you woke up in my arms, I thought I couldn’t handle if you left me, and I was right.
You taught me what it feels like to love and to be loved. It’s a feeling like no other. At times, it’s hard to catch my breath.
But my mother, she taught me the pain of losing that love. I can’t love you knowing any day I could lose you.
My real father’s family lives in Texas. It’s kind of funny when I was in rehab, I only lived 20 minutes from them. They don’t know I exist. So, pray I don’t give them a heart attack, but I’m going and introducing myself to them. I need to know what kind of man Miles was.
I’m not coming back. I refuse to hurt like my mom and Wes do. I won’t allow myself to love you.
Precious, live life to the fullest, spend time with Wes, go shopping with granny, take my Jeep for a spin, find some lucky SOB and tell him every day how blessed he is because he gets to hold you, and lastly, forget about me. I don’t want this anymore.
Lucas
You told me you loved me. It made me relax. I guess it was a lie.
Ann had to love Alan at one point; she married him than he turned her life to hell. Wes’s love for my mom was so strong that it should’ve saved her. Yet, it didn’t. Happily-ever-after didn’t happen to real people in the real world. Why should it happen to me?
Chapter 36
Annie Prieto
It had been three hours, twenty-two minutes, and some odd seconds post-Lucas, and each moment had been longer than the last.
“A little to the left,” I said and bounced my finger in that direction.
“Sweetie, we’ve been hanging this picture for over an hour. I think it’s perfect,” Wes said, and climbed down off the ladder.
My mother’s drawing hung over the fireplace where it belonged, and it was perfect, but I wasn’t. Tears glossed my eyes.
Wes ran his fingers through his hair before placing his hands on his hips. “Sundays are my day with Evie. I go by and check on her almost every day, but on Sundays, I spend the whole day with her. It’s our time together. I’ve only missed two Sundays, both times it was when I was sick. Once with the flu and the other time I had a stomach virus. I know it sounds crazy, but both those times she had a horrible week. She was in distressed and had to be placed back on the vent. I promised her, I would always be there. When Lucas was about nine, he entered his first dirt bike race. It was a Sunday, and of course —” Wes shrugged. “—I didn’t go. He was so hurt that he ran away from home. Actually, he went to his treehouse. He stayed there for an entire week. He even made this little basket on a pulley system, we could put food in it and he didn’t have to see us.” Wes smiled at the memory. “He was always so smart and just as stubborn. But after he calmed down and processed everything, he came back and was completely over it.”
Lucas told me about Wes missing his race — he wasn’t over it. He had just buried the hurt.
“Lucas loves you. I know because he told me so. Let him discover who he is, who his father was, then he’ll be back. He just needs to take a timeout.”
I fell back on the couch, and covered my face with my hands. The air around me grew colder and colder. The hole in my chest was massive and bleeding.
I understood why the house I was living in meant so much to Wes; it was the place he shared a brief moment in time with my mom.
Each day, Wes Carter had gotten up, put on a suit and a fake smile, then died a little bit more. Wes Carter’s home was wherever my mom was. My home had become being in the arms of Lucas Carter. The curse of the Carter's was not lack of money or notability, but the lack of a true place to call home.
I hugged myself with a straightjacket tightness, to conceal the nerves convulsing throughout my body. I wanted the numbness to set in, but it didn’t — the pain had rooted too deep into the cracks in my heart to allow it too.
The sound of a cellphone buzzing caught my attention. I jerked my phone off the coffee table. No calls, no missed messages, nothing.
“Hey,” Wes said with his cell pressed to his ear.
“Have you called them?”
“I’ll be home in a few.”
“We’ll get through this.”
“Lucas needs to do this. It’ll be okay.”
Wes clicked END on the phone and sat down next to me on the couch. “It was Jennifer, she’s beyond upset. Lucas is going to visit Miles’s family in Texas. This is really messed up.”
“Why haven’t they been a part of Lucas’s life? I mean, Miles was their family, didn’t they want to know his son?”
“They never knew about him. Jenn was scared they would try to take him away. I know she hasn’t been the best mother, but she does love Lucas, she just always been terrified of losing him. Just now on the phone, I was afraid she was losing it anyway.”
“Do you want to go check on her?”
“Yeah, I do. I mean, I want to be here with you. I just got you back, but Jenn has been my best friend all my life.”
“Go, I’ll be here.” I glanced up at my mother’s drawing. “I think I’m going to try making this place home. I want to know my mother. I want to know you.” I picked up my cellphone. “Now, what’s my daddy’s number?” I asked, needing him to leave, simply to give me room to fall apart.
The smile on his face didn’t appear fake, actually, it was the sincerest emotion I had witness from him yet. “501-9092.”
I punched in his number and sent a text. “Now, you have mine. Text me sometime.” I gripped his lower arm. “Let me know when you hear from Lucas.”
Six hours later, I finally received a text.
Wes: Lucas is there. Jenn said it was going good. They are glad to finally have him in their life. I really do love you. Dad
A sad smile appeared on my face. I was happy it was going good for Lucas. He deserved it. But deep down, it made me sad too, because I wanted his home to be with me, not with them.
I nearly laid my bike over as I came to a halt too fast and missed rooting the kickstand entirely on the first try.
Rather it was standing in the yard Miles Blankenship grew up on, or the reel of memories I had of Annie playing rapidly over and over in my head, I had felt more disorientated as the days went by.
I showed up a week ago on the doorsteps of Carl and Angela Blankenship, and after a very awkward come-to-Jesus moment, they accepted me without a second thought.
They were finding it hard to forgive my mother though. She had spent every anniversary of Miles’s death with them and never once mentioned me.
I had tried explaining my mother’s frame of mind, but I
had found it hard to understand Wes’s and her decisions too.
“You are your father’s son. He was always reckless too.” Angela swept at some unseen dirt on the front doorstep. Angela was a tall, robust woman. She stood six feet tall without the help of any shoes. Her once flaming red hair was now tempered with a hearty mix of shades of salt and pepper. Her crystal-clear blue eyes still danced with a mischievous gleam I had often seen in my own. “Your mother called.”
“And you took the call,” I said with a sneer.
I hated Wes for hurting not me but Annie, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t find it in myself to hate my mother. However, there was a festering wound between us, and I felt the jaggered edges ripe open a little more every time I pictured her face.
Angela propped the broom against the porch railing and sat down on the top step. “She’s shipping us all the videos she has of you growing up. She’s trying, and I’m trying to understand.” She patted the spot next to her. I sat down and took her hand. “So many days, I wake up and wish I could have one more day with Miles. Having you here, I feel like I’m getting that chance. I’ll never forgive your mom from keeping you from us all these years, but I do understand her fear of losing you. I lost a part of myself when Miles died and wouldn’t wish that pain on anybody.” Angela stood up. “Come on, I’ve fried some potatoes. They were your daddy’s favorite.”
I had walked the halls of that home for a week, and still found I was suffocated by the shadow of a man whose name I had never even heard until I learned he was my father.
Carl was already seated at the table, cutting into a roast, when I turned the corner into the kitchen. “Come on in, boy. This was Miles’s favorite meal. I talked Ang into making it for you this morning.”
Carl was once a tall and powerful man, but time and hardship had left him frail and a shell of his former self. The millions of pictures that lined the walls had shown he once had a head full of blonde curls, but all that was left was a few stray pieces around the base of his neck. But despite the physical changes his body had went through over the years, his spirit was still free and rowdy. He would make lewd remarks about the women on Fox News, that he watched incessantly, and then hold Angela in his arms and looked at her with hearts in his eyes, proving she was his biggest treasure. He would move mountains for any member of his family, including me. He still dragged raced at the local motor speedway every Saturday. I smiled. He was a picture of the man I had hoped to become.
Angela placed a platter of corn on the cobb on the table and winked over at me. “It was all for your benefit too,” she said and then turned to kiss Carl on top of his head. “It’s not like its Carl’s favorite meal too.”
I had stepped into a family and life that still felt strange to me, but it was a life I belonged in.
“So, tell me a little more about this Annie. Do you miss her?” Carl asked. “Because if you miss her out of the sack, she’s earned a place in your life.”
"Just pass the peas and shut up, Old Man," I said behind a fabricated laugh, attempting to hide the anguish of losing Annie.
Chapter 37
Annie Prieto
The past two weeks seemed endless as my life fell into a pattern of The Downtown Café, Morning Pointe to visit my mom, sleep, and the treehouse.
Yes, the treehouse.
When the hole in my chest got too big to bear, visiting the treehouse made it a little less painful.
Wes had kept me updated on Lucas. I didn’t know what was worse, having no idea if he was even breathing anymore or the two degrees of separation we had going on.
However, thinking about never seeing Lucas again was not an option, I decided to heed Wes’s advice to give Lucas time and wait for him to come back.
“I’m really sorry,” Bob said as I slid my timecard into the timeclock.
I jerked an apron off the hook by the clock and looked down at my feet. Bob had opened up to me and was completely honest when I questioned him about knowing me. He not only knew who my mother was, but at one point in time, he was in love with her. Yes, Bob admitted he loved Evie with all his heart, but she only ever loved Wes Carter. He never questioned who my real father was — he never doubted the love Wes and Evie had for each other.
Bob knew everything, including the fact Evie was still alive but he couldn’t bring himself to tell me.
I was finding it hard to forgive him, but since I wouldn’t accept any of the Carter’s money, I still needed a job. So, I plastered on a pretty convincing fake smile and said, “I already told you I understand. If Wes couldn’t tell me, I could understand why you couldn’t.” I picked up a bottle of bleach and a clean dishcloth up off the counter. “Thanks again too for telling Wes I was in town. I like knowing I’ve been in my mom's home all this time.”
Bob had arranged for me to live in that house, and for that, I was grateful. It was the only reason I could begin to forgive him.
I pushed open the kitchen door to escape before I said something I would later regret.
The place was busy, but not overrun with customers. The perfect time to free my mind with some light cleaning.
I bent over to wipe off the corner booth when I heard, “Annie!”
I recognized the voice immediately ... even though I had not seen her in over two weeks. I twisted around to see Candice walking through the side door at The Downtown Café.
Candice sauntered over to where I was standing and licked the corner of her lip. If she was trying to appear sexy, her attempt was misplaced on the wrong person.
“What are you doing?” I asked and slapped the wet towel I was holding down on the table.
“Just seeing if you were using that nun act on a new victim like Lucas’s dad?”
“Nah, Wes has different taste than Lucas.”
My nerves were getting the best of me, provoking my weight to shift from my left foot to my right foot then back to my left. I had heard the rumors spreading around town that since I couldn’t weasel myself into Lucas’s wallet, I had moved on to his father. I shouldn’t have played into her game, but I really didn’t care what she thought. She would’ve believe the lies over the truth anyway. Lies were always more fun. Except for our truths, kind of like the one about Lucas and me being step-siblings — that one was sort of juicy.
“Wes will play, but he’ll never leave Jennifer, if you think you’ll get any of his money, you’re wrong.” Candice shrugged and took two steps to stand chest to chest with me. “Leave, no one wants you here.”
“Fuck off, Candice. You know truth is often stranger than fiction.”
I slung the towel and bit my lip to keep from laughing when the nasty towel water splattered across Candice’s face.
I laughed as Candice stormed off, and I realized it was the first time I had laughed since Lucas had left town. Maybe screwing with Lucas’s friends was just what I needed.
The cellphone vibrated in my pocket. I slipped it out and saw I had a text from Wes.
Wes: Can I show you something? I love you.
Me: Sure, I get off at 3
Wes always signed his text with I love you. Those were not words I could tell him back, but I did pray I could one day.
John was standing by the grill, grinning when I walked back into the kitchen to prepare for the lunch shift.
“There’s that pretty smile. I was beginning to believe I would never see it again,” John said then went back to flipping the burgers on the grill.
I tucked a pen and pad into my front apron pocket, vowing to myself I would spend more time smiling and less time dwelling on what I’d lost.
The swing doors scraped over the concrete floor as I walked back out into the dining room. The only guests were a few men in the back room preparing for their Lyon’s Club meeting and a group of ladies having a bite before their bridge game. I took their orders and poured them a glass of sweet tea, or as Bob called it the wine of the South.
John had a tray filled with seven salads when I walked back into the kitc
hen. He held up the tray and said, “Can you take these to the men in the back? They wanted salads as they wait for the other men to get here.”
I took the tray from his hands and smiled. “Sure thing, good looking.”
I delivered the salads and even managed to laugh at the men’s harmless flirting, then refilled the bridge ladies’ tea before heading back into the kitchen.
Bob was stepping out of the back when I barged through the doors. “I just got a call from Wes. He’ll be here in about ten minutes. He has a surprise for you.”
Tiny Dancer Page 26