by Jo Cotterill
‘That’s another thing,’ said Megan. ‘I think maybe Jake is jealous, just a tiny bit.’
‘Of what? Of you?’
‘Well, no – of you. You and your new job. Just as his stepdad has lost his.’
Bryan sat back on his heels. ‘That’s a real blow,’ he admitted. ‘Stephen’s good, too. Very good. His company has missed a trick by losing him. I’d work with him anytime.’
‘Maybe you could find him a job in your company?’ suggested Megan, half-joking.
Her dad smiled. ‘Think I’m still a bit too new to be making changes like that. I’m still finding my feet myself. Besides, it’s a tight unit. No room for extra employees.’
Megan shrugged. Even though she hadn’t really been serious, she felt a bit disappointed. ‘Never mind. If Stephen’s as good as you say, I’m sure he’ll find another job soon.’
‘Hmm.’ Bryan seemed about to say something but changed his mind. ‘Come on, let’s get this paint pot open and get started.’
When Nicola came to see how they were getting on, the two of them were painting in concentrated silence, Bryan with his tongue sticking out as he negotiated a tricky window sill and Megan with lilac paint smudged across her cheek. ‘This is looking better already!’ Nicola stood in the middle of the room and gazed around. ‘I wasn’t sure about the colour at first, but you were right, Megan. It’s lovely.’
Megan straightened up from her position on the floor. ‘I like it too. Can I have new bedclothes to match?’
Her dad rolled his eyes. ‘More money!’ he complained, joking. ‘Do you think I’m made of it?’
‘Of course you can,’ said her mum. ‘But one thing at a time, OK? I came to ask if you’d like some sandwiches or something. Owen’s watching Monsters Inc. so I’ve got a bit of time to make lunch.’
‘That would be fab,’ said Megan, putting her roller down in the paint tray.
‘Don’t stop yet.’ Nicola held up a hand. ‘You’ve got at least five minutes more while I go and make them. I’ll bring them up so you only have to stop for a bit. I don’t want to interrupt your flow!’
It wasn’t until her mum brought the sandwiches up that Megan realized quite how hungry she was. ‘Delicious!’ proclaimed Bryan, munching away.
Nicola settled herself on the floor with them. ‘Is Mari coming round to practise again this week, Megan? Only it would be good to know which evening so I don’t plan something else for us instead.’
Megan shook her head. ‘Not this week. She’s gone away to visit grandparents for a few days, seeing as it’s half-term.’
‘What about Danny?’ asked her dad casually. ‘Do you want to ask him to come round?’
‘Um . . .’
‘That’s a good idea,’ said Nicola brightly. ‘Why don’t you ask him to lunch one day?’
‘Well . . .’ Megan fidgeted. She wasn’t at all sure she was ready to bring Danny home to meet her parents. ‘I think he’s busy.’ She saw her parents exchange a look. ‘What?’
‘Nothing, nothing,’ said her father hastily. ‘It’s just it would be nice to get to know him a bit better, that’s all. More than just saying “hello” and “goodbye” when we drop you off or pick you up.’
Nicola smiled. ‘Yes – it’s only that we don’t really know him at all. And you’re spending a lot of time with him now . . .’
Megan felt a spike of annoyance. ‘So?’
Her mother shrugged. ‘So it’s nice to know who your daughter’s hanging out with.’
Megan stared. ‘Are you saying you have to check out my friends before I can hang out with them?’
Bryan tried to make his voice sound light. ‘Not at all. Your mum didn’t mean it like that.’
‘Then what did she mean?’ Megan asked testily.
‘There’s no need to get defensive,’ said Nicola, her eyes narrowing. ‘It’s not an unusual thing to ask, you know. You hang out with Mari and we’ve met her and we like her. And this Danny – well, he’s sort of becoming a boyfriend, isn’t he?’
‘What do you mean, sort of?’
‘So,’ her mother ploughed on, ‘if he’s important to you, then he’s important to us too.’
Something in Megan rebelled. ‘I don’t see why,’ she said. ‘I’m the one going out with him, not you.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ said her mother sharply. ‘And don’t take that tone with me. I just want to make sure you’re choosing the right friends, that’s all.’
‘The right friends? What do you mean by the right friends?’
‘Umm . . .’ said Bryan. ‘Maybe we should . . .’
‘The right friends,’ said Nicola, trying to sound calm, ‘are people who care about you. And know how to treat people decently. And don’t influence their friends into doing things they don’t want to do. Or give them a bad attitude.’
‘A bad attitude?’ Megan’s eyes were wide with angry astonishment. ‘You don’t know anything about Danny!’
‘I know he likes skateboarding and racing and dangerous activities,’ snapped her mother. ‘And I want to make sure you’re not being led down the wrong path.’
Megan stood up. ‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this! First you move me two hundred miles away from all my friends and everyone I know – and now you’re telling me I can’t choose my own friends here?’
‘That’s not what—’
‘Why can’t you just stop interfering?’ Megan felt anger boiling up inside her. The date with Danny hadn’t gone as expected. Jake had backed out of coming to stay. And here were her parents telling her she couldn’t be trusted to choose her own boyfriend! ‘It’s none of your business who I hang around with! How do you think I felt, having to move so far away from everyone I care about? And now I’ve found some new friends and a boy who seems to like me and want to go out with me, and you’re telling me you need to check everyone out first? What, like some kind of vetting process? To make sure they’re all right to be my friends?’ She glanced down at her half-eaten sandwich. ‘I don’t want any more. I’m going downstairs for a break.’
There was silence behind her.
Megan didn’t sleep well. Her room had stayed half painted and even though the window had been open, there was still a faint smell of fumes. Her head ached and she felt hotly guilty about what she had said to her parents. It wasn’t their fault her dad’s job had been so far away from home. And they had tried to make it as easy for her as possible. But now that she had started thinking about home, Megan found it hard to stop. There were so many memories . . .
. . . peering over the fence at the age of five, to see Jake prancing around the sun-baked garden completely naked . . .
. . . falling over in the playground and grazing the side of her face, and her friend Amanda rushing over to help, absolutely terrified . . .
. . . going to early ballroom lessons with Jake and bossing him around when he got it wrong . . .
. . . Jake’s endless patience and good humour, even when she was being annoying . . .
. . . going to the end-of-year dance in the last year of primary and Jake trying to kiss Amanda behind the Wendy House . . .
. . . Megan not speaking to Jake for a whole four hours as protest on behalf of Amanda . . .
. . . first day at secondary school and being so relieved to see the faces of her friends . . .
. . . the day Amanda fell off the vaulting horse in PE and broke her leg . . .
. . . taking part in the dance competition last year and Jake saying he wouldn’t ever dance with anyone else . . .
. . . having to pack up everything in her old room and seeing it completely bare . . .
. . . saying goodbye to Jake . . .
Megan sat up, wiping tears from her face angrily. It was no good feeling sorry for herself, was it? She glanced at the clock. It was two in the morning. The house was quiet.
She texted Jake.
How RU? I am really missing home, things here not so gd 2day. Wish u cud hav come 2 stay.
She bit her lip and deleted the message. Jake had enough to worry about. She would just have to pull herself together for the moment. And apologize to her parents in the morning.
Chapter 13
you don’t care about me
‘WE’RE GOING TO do it on Sunday,’ Danny told her at the park. It was Friday evening and the light was already fading. Megan shivered and wondered what time Samantha and Paul would want to get home and into the warm. Jasmine was nowhere to be seen, and Megan wondered if she had heard about the date at the theatre and was staying away on purpose.
‘Do what?’
He looked exasperated. ‘The jump. The one by the museum? Don’t you remember?’
‘Oh!’ Megan’s expression cleared. ‘Of course I remember.’
Samantha, sitting on one of the ramps, examined her nails. ‘It’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.’
Megan glanced at her curiously. ‘Don’t you think he can do it?’
Samantha’s gaze flicked up. ‘Of course he can’t. He’s an idiot. It’ll be the swimming pool all over again.’
Megan looked bewildered. ‘Swimming pool?’
‘Remember that time I told you about?’ Danny glanced at her. ‘I hurt my knee a bit.’
Samantha snorted. ‘A bit? Nearly smashed your kneecap, you mean.’ She turned back to Megan. ‘They told him if that had happened, he probably wouldn’t be able to walk again.’
Danny rolled his eyes. ‘Sam’s exaggerating. They can re-build knees these days, you know.’
‘Whatever.’
‘Anyway, that was over a year ago,’ Danny told Megan. ‘I’m way better at jumps now.’
‘And I’ll be there,’ added Paul.
‘Filming the disaster,’ commented Samantha. ‘Video evidence to give to the police when they arrest him for dangerous activities or something.’
Megan shook her head. Why did Samantha have to make such personal digs at her brother? After all, the same could be said for Paul, surely? He liked skating and all the same things Danny did. If Samantha disapproved so much of these activities, why was she going out with him? ‘Why are you here?’ The words were out before she’d even thought about them.
Samantha’s steely gaze swung across again, fixing her in its beam. ‘What do you mean?’
Megan sucked in her breath sharply. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud! ‘Well,’ she said, trying to be polite, ‘it just seems a bit odd, that’s all. You don’t like skateboarding. And it’s dark and getting cold out now. Why don’t you just stay home?’
Megan hadn’t thought Samantha could possibly look shocked by anything. Her oh-so-cool exterior seemed to bounce all emotion off it, like thick plastic. But Samantha looked shocked now. ‘What’s it got to do with you?’ she asked, wrinkling her nose as if Megan smelled bad.
Megan glanced at Danny, suddenly uncomfortable. Maybe she had gone too far? But Danny didn’t even seem to be listening. He was down on the ground again, screwdriver in hand and tinkering with the trucks on his skateboard.
Samantha stood up slowly, unfolding herself so that it was very obvious that she was at least four inches taller than Megan. ‘Who do you think you are anyway?’ she said in a venomous tone. ‘Swanning around as though you’re the new heroine around here. Trying to look cool on a skateboard. Who do you think you’re impressing? My brother? Don’t make me laugh. He only cares about things with wheels.’
Megan threw another glance in Danny’s direction, but he was determinedly ignoring his sister. Isn’t he going to defend me? she thought, suddenly annoyed. He was only five or six steps away, he must be able to hear every word!
Samantha gave a derisive snort. ‘Thought you were going to be the new sweetheart in the playground, didn’t you?’ She looked Megan up and down. ‘You remind me of someone. Someone who crossed me not long ago. She regretted it too.’
‘Would that be Fliss?’ Megan asked, folding her arms. ‘The girl you hurt in the summer?’
Samantha barely blinked. ‘She thought she was so cool. It seems to be an epidemic around here. Small girls getting up my nose.’ She sniffed.
‘Maybe that’s because your nose is too big,’ said Megan, feeling more and more annoyed by the second. Why wasn’t Danny stepping in to prevent his girlfriend from being insulted? ‘And from what I heard, your plan backfired in a really big way. Nearly got arrested, that’s what I heard.’
Samantha’s cheeks burned a fiery pink. ‘That’s not true,’ she said furiously.
‘Lost your pocket money too,’ added Megan, unable to resist the dig. ‘No wonder you’re hanging around with Paul. Hoping for a handout, are you?’
WHAP!
Megan’s hand went automatically to her stinging cheek. Her jaw dropped. ‘You hit me!’
Samantha too was looking a bit stunned. ‘That’s for what you said.’
‘Which part?’ retorted Megan, still holding her face. ‘For calling you a charity case or for saying you nearly got arrested?’
Samantha opened her mouth but she didn’t seem to know what to say. Instead, she simply glared at Megan. ‘I don’t have to listen to this,’ she snapped, and turned to go. ‘Come on, Paul.’
‘Huh?’ Paul looked up from his board as Samantha strode past. ‘Where?’
‘With me. Come on.’ Paul quickly picked up his board and followed her obediently, throwing an apologetic glance over his shoulder at Danny.
There was silence for a moment as Megan watched Samantha and Paul disappear round the end of the children’s playground. She rubbed her cheek ruefully. ‘That really hurt.’
Danny put down his screwdriver and stood on his board, rocking it experimentally from side to side. ‘Well, you did provoke her.’
Megan stared at him. ‘What?’
He shrugged and gave a laugh. ‘Sam’s got a nasty temper on her. Best not to get in her way.’
‘Are you saying I deserved it?’ Megan couldn’t believe it.
‘Course not. But Sam wouldn’t see it like that.’ He pushed off and started to head towards a ramp at the far end of the park.
‘How come you didn’t back me up?’ Megan called after him.
‘What?’
‘Back me up. You know – how come you let her get away with saying all that?’ Megan was beginning to feel annoyed all over again.
‘Watch me take these two at once!’ Danny called back as he raced towards the set of railings. He flew into the air but caught the edge of one of the railings with a back wheel and tumbled to the ground, laughing.
Megan stomped over, determined not to drop the subject. ‘Danny. How come you let her insult me like that?’
He brushed the dirt off his jeans and looked up at her. ‘What do you mean?’
‘All that stuff she was saying. About me trying to be cool and how stupid I was.’
Danny raised his eyebrows. ‘Sounded like you were fighting your own battle.’ He grinned. ‘That’s what she didn’t like. She’s not used to people standing up to her. That jibe about her pocket money! No wonder you got slapped.’ He laughed again.
In that small moment, it was as though someone had switched on a huge floodlight. Megan suddenly saw things with a clarity that had escaped her before. ‘You don’t care about me,’ she said, surprised.
Danny frowned. ‘Huh?’
‘You don’t.’ Megan felt something like wonder. ‘You don’t care about anyone. Not me, not your sister, not Paul. Not Jasmine.’
‘Why should I care about Jasmine?’
‘Exactly.’ Out of the blue, she felt like she wanted to laugh too. ‘You don’t notice anything going on around you. Everything is about you – about racing, about speed.’
Danny got to his feet. ‘What’s wrong with that?’
Megan shook
her head. ‘What about me?’
He frowned. ‘What about you?’
A bubble of laughter popped out of Megan’s throat. ‘I thought I was supposed to be your girlfriend.’
‘My what?’ He stared at her. ‘What made you think that?’
The laughter stopped. Megan’s eyes opened wide. ‘We went out together. We – you kissed me.’
He shrugged. ‘So?’
‘You mean . . . what did you think, then?’
‘I just thought you were up for a good time,’ Danny said carelessly. ‘I thought you were cool about it all.’ He screwed up his nose. ‘I didn’t realize you were going to get all uptight. What does it matter anyway?’
‘What does it matter?’ Megan stared. How could she possibly explain? You made me feel alive, she wanted to say. You made me realize my life was tame and boring. You showed me new exciting things. You kissed me! ‘I thought you liked me,’ she said lamely, and then felt cross with herself for sounding so pathetic. How could she have been so stupid for thinking she meant something to him?
Danny gave a massive sigh of exasperation. ‘What is it with you girls?’ He sounded annoyed. ‘Why do you have to make such a big deal about everything? I did like you. You were up for a laugh. You liked trying out stuff. You were good to talk to. I didn’t realize you were going to end up like all the rest of them.’
‘All the rest of them?’ Megan repeated, bewildered.
‘All those other girls.’ Danny swung out an arm. ‘Hanging on my every word. Wanting to follow me around all the time. Hold my hand. Crying if I don’t call them. You’re all the same!’
‘Hang on a minute.’ Megan’s stupefaction was slowly turning to anger. ‘How many other girls have you been out with?’
Danny shrugged. ‘I dunno. I dumped them all. They got boring.’
‘Boring?’ Megan almost choked. ‘Why, because they wanted to be your girlfriend?’
‘What is it with all the labels?’ Danny retorted. ‘Why does it matter to you girls about that kind of thing? If you like each other, then you can hang out together. Why does it have to get boyfriend–girlfriend complicated? Isn’t it enough to like hanging out together?’