“Sir? Have you not heard me? Perhaps you are not well. I myself recommend regular purges and the most delicate of diets. Lady Catherine herself deemed me worthy of her very own cook’s gruel receipt. I found it immensely restorative.”
“Er.. what? My apologies, I am rather distracted today.”
“I was stating the merits of purging.”
“Purging? Whatever for? Doctors have not suggested such nonsense in decades.”
This statement, when given with such firmness of speech, rendered Mr. Collins silent. Within moments, he found himself alone, an outsider to the room filled with people. Mr. Darcy had abandoned his solitary post for the company of Elizabeth, leaving Mr. Collins to stew in a growing envy. Only the passive pity upon the countenance of a stranger proved to be his salvation. Unfortunately, she was plainer of face than even Mary Bennet, but for the moment, an excellent substitute. Going forward, he bowed deeply before her.
“Do excuse me, but might I have the pleasure of knowing your name? I am William Collins, cousin to the Bennets and vicar at Rosings Park.”
“Pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Charlotte, Charlotte Lucas of Lucas Lodge.”
~7~
Two weeks later…
Elizabeth Bennet had been overjoyed for her favorite sister, but with Jane’s elation had come a desire to see others equally happy. Mr. Bingley having quickly resumed his courtship with such a fervor, it was reasonable to expect an announcement of their engagement. However, despite Elizabeth’s gentle probing, no confirmation could be had from Jane. Only the perpetual smile and extra pains taken in her appearance suggested that she was harboring a great secret. That, and Jane’s not so subtle push for Elizabeth to accept the attentions of one Fitzwilliam Darcy.
“Really Lizzy, he is not arrogant at all, but merely reserved… shy even.” Jane had insisted when Elizabeth frowned at the suggestion of accompanying Jane and Charles on an outing.
“It’s just some walking, you enjoy walking well enough. You know I cannot go alone, please say you will come. I must have time with him away from Mama. Besides, it will give you an opportunity to escape Mr. Collins.”
Elizabeth could never deny Jane anything, and clearly saw the logic of her argument, but there was something about Mr. Darcy that was unsettling.
“He just looks at me strangely.”
“Who? Mr. Darcy or Mr. Collins?”
“You are impossible!”
Jane only smiled; her happiness was not to be spoilt by anyone. Having privately accepted the offer of marriage from Charles Bingley, she was nearly bursting to tell someone, but had promised to wait until the ball at Meryton. In the precious few private moments they had been able to share, many topics had been discussed. One of which was the obvious compatibility of Darcy and Elizabeth.
“They are both stubborn and set in their opinions, but Lizzy would be an excellent wife for him. He needs to smile more.”
“Indeed, and I have suggested as much, but Darcy denies any attraction. Yet, to anyone who sees them, it is clear as day.” Charles agreed.
“Then we must provide occasions for them to make that realization. Neither are prone to do what they are told, even if it is best… and I fear, that if Darcy does not make his affections known, Lizzy may fall prey to Mr. Collins.”
“Oh dear! Really? Would she truly give in to such a man? He is positively horrible.”
Jane laughed aloud, a rare indulgence she permitted only in intimate company. Realizing her jest, Bingley relaxed. In the months in which he had been acquainted with the Bennet sisters, he could not imagine any of them marrying William Collins any more than he could his own sister marrying Darcy. A bit of matchmaking was definitely in order.
*****
When the day arrived, the best laid plans of Jane and Charles were forced to make an unfortunate accommodation. Mrs. Bennet, having changed her mind as to the suitability of Mr. Collins, had done so with full force. Now, as Jane and Elizabeth prepared to depart, she insisted upon Mr. Collins serving as chaperone.
“My dears, surely we must avoid any possible suggestion of impropriety. Besides, Cousin William did save your sisters from certain death, he deserves your consideration and respect. He must accompany you. I have not the least bit of trust for that Mr. Darcy. Men with money often feel they may take liberties… now Jane, do not look at me so. I was not referring to your Mr. Bingley. He is above reproach.”
“As is any of those he chooses to call friends. Mama! Mr. Bingley would not associate with anyone who was less than a gentleman.” Jane insisted.
“All the same, Mr. Collins must go as well. It would be rude to leave him out. Take Mary too… her playing has given me a headache.”
Hearing her name, Mary Bennet frowned. Having grown accustomed to being forgotten, she had observed the entire scene and had no wish to have any part in her mother’s schemes. However, it would give her an excellent opportunity to slip the special blend of herbs she had finished brewing into his food. It had taken longer than she had liked, but if the final product had its desired effect, Mr. Collins would trouble them no more. Closing the pianoforte, she forced a smile.
“I should be pleased to go along. Numbers must always be even to prevent a slight.”
“You see, even Mary agrees. Now, go invite Mr. Collins. He is in the library, pestering your father, and we all know what that does for his digestion.”
As expected, Mr. Collins accepted their invitation with much pleasure and more than his share of opinion.
“I should be honored, who knows when a calamity may present itself that requires my assistance. To where shall we be going?”
“Along the hillsides, perhaps as far as ___shire. There are some interesting rock formations and a stone circle left over from pagan times,” Elizabeth said, watching for his reaction.
Despite his prowess in swimming, Mr. Collins’ present physical state did not suggest a love of vigorous exercise, nor did he favor anything he considered to be an affront to his calling.
“A pagan circle? I am not sure that is appropriate for me…”
“If you would rather remain at Longbourn, we understand. Besides, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy can protect us should any wayward evil spirits still reside there,” Elizabeth teased. If she was forced to tolerate his company, perhaps it would provide an opportunity to show Mr. Collins that they were wholly unsuited. As of late, he had taken it upon himself to follow her about, often resulting in uncomfortable situations. But, upon hearing that the man he now viewed as a rival for Elizabeth Bennet’s affections was to accompany them, Mr. Collins puffed up with self-righteous indignation.
“I should not think of staying behind. Evil spirits indeed! Utter nonsense. A learned man such as myself gives no credence to such things. They are simply tales told to children to ensure good behavior. When do we leave?”
~8~
The excursion, one that had been undertaken by the Bennet girls many a time, consisted of nearly five miles. Having prepared with parasols and sturdy walking boots, the ladies easily made the first half of the journey in good conversation as the ground remained level and firm. However, when they approached the rocky outcroppings that formed a succession of hills, the terrain became more challenging. Mr. Collins, now bearing beads of perspiration, slipped and stumbled as he struggled to keep pace, but insisted upon leading the way. Mary Bennet, having expected to serve as his companion, had long abandoned him in pursuit of her own interests and was now some distance ahead of them all. As it was nearing midsummer, the grassy tufts between the rocks were filled with an array of wildflowers. Taking a small bag from her pocket, Mary sought to collect as many specimens possible. This occupation, provided many a private moment for the two remaining couples who straggled behind. Charles Bingley, taking advantage of the opportunity, laced his fingers through Jane’s as they walked, oblivious to all but the lady beside him. Further behind, as to allow for private conversation, Elizabeth strode silently beside Mr. Darcy. In the hour that
they had been out, less than a dozen words had passed between them. But, the more they studied the actions of those before them, the less he could hold his opinions.
“Charles seems quite besotted with your sister…”
“Yes… and she with him.”
“She does not make it apparent, unlike most ladies. You do know that he intends to marry her?”
“I had my suspicions, but Jane has not said a word, she is a very private person, not one to display her affections for the world to criticize.”
More silence passed, as Darcy contemplated her words. At one time, he had believed the Bennet sisters to be nothing but fortune seekers, but that was slowly changing as he grew to know them better. Eventually, Elizabeth paused her steps to gaze at the valley that now spread below them. Filled with large boulders, remnants of when ice covered England, it gave the impression of a massive chessboard. The rocks, pawns in some magical game.
“How beautiful…but I hear from Mr. Bingley that nothing compares to your home… or according to Mr. Collins, Rosings Park,” Lizzy stated with an amused raise of one eyebrow.
“No, that is not so. Pemberley is indeed impressive, but much of it is well tended, as is Rosings. This is natural, with a wildness that holds its own.”
Nodding, Elizabeth continued on. Now, she took care with her footing as the ground was covered with loose stones and sloped considerably. But soon, they climbed the summit to the ancient circle of stones. Situated at the top, the monoliths formed an oval, circumventing a larger flat slab in the center. Stories of human sacrifice had filled their ears as children, but no evidence of such had ever been verified. Almost to the top, Elizabeth began feeling a bit guilty for goading Mr. Collins into accompanying them, she looked up to discover that he was not to be seen. Mary, standing with her hands on her hips in askance, appeared to be speaking down at something, but no voice carried on the breeze. Had the stupid man fallen?
“Mr. Darcy! Look there, something has happened!”
Quickening their steps as fast as the path would allow, Darcy and Elizabeth soon caught up to Bingley and Jane, standing just inside the stone circle beside Mary who was busy casting insults down the hill side.
“Foolish man, whatever made you go down there? Is it not a simple thing to keep to a well-defined path? How are we to get you out?”
To her inquiries, Mr. Collins replied with moans of pain. The outing had taken far longer than he expected, and having drunk more than his share of tea, had been forced to find a place to take care of his personal needs. Believing himself to been far enough ahead of the others to avoid observation, he sought a place behind one of the granite edifices to relieve himself. However, the eerie atmosphere of the pagan site had made him a bit woozy as his imagination played all sorts of morbid scenes. This, when accompanied by overexertion, caused his head to spin, sending him tumbling over the edge.
“He should have been left at home… now what are we to do? Stupid man could have gotten killed,” Mary grumbled as she kicked a loose clod of dirt with her foot in irritation. The resulting shower of soil served to elicit another weak cry for help from below.
“We shall have to go down and drag him up.” Darcy said flatly. He was in no mood to rescue a fool, especially one who had now ruined his opportunity to further his acquaintance with Elizabeth.
Elizabeth was also not amused by the accident. And for a brief moment, envisioned leaving Mr. Collins where he lay, to be hopefully eaten by wolves in the night. As he would not be missed by anyone, it could be weeks before the body was discovered… a peaceful time indeed. Fortunately for Mr. Collins, Darcy’s sense of honor overrode her uncharitable thoughts.
“Don’t try to move! I am coming down,” he shouted.
Mr. Collins did not respond, but now lay unmoving and the worst was feared, but retrieve him they must. Grasping branches that protruded from the outcropping, Darcy gingerly made his way to where Mr. Collins had fallen. Upon arrival, he quickly assessed the injuries and called up to the others.
“He’s alive, and while I am no doctor, he appears relatively unharmed save for a gash upon his head.”
The sound of Darcy’s voice roused the unconscious man who immediately began ranting incoherently.
“Someone…something pushed me! There is evil here… true evil!” Mr. Collins babbled, waving away the supporting arm of Darcy as he held him upright. Believing Darcy to be his attacker returned, Mr. Collins lashed out a meaty fist, finding contact just under Darcy’s eye. This violent and uncalled for act sent a gasp from the ladies who watched from above. Inching his way downward, Mr. Bingley grabbed the opposite side of Mr. Collins, balancing the ungainly weight.
“Strike me again and I will toss you over the edge myself!” Darcy snapped, his voice instilling instant compliance, but Mr. Collins’ accusations would not be silenced.
“Someone pushed me… I would swear to it.”
By now, the gentlemen had succeeded in reaching the top of the hill, but did not release their ward until he was placed in the only location that was not still wet from the previous evening’s rains, the sacrificial stone.
“It is the only flat place for you to lie down,” Jane insisted when Mr. Collins tried to resist, flailing his arms in protest and nearly striking her.
“Delirium… no doubt because of the fall. If he continues on this way, we may have to restrain him. As it is, he will not be able to walk out of here,” Darcy rationalized.
Elizabeth sighed and took a seat upon a fallen stone. Not all of the monoliths had survived the years of weather. Having tipped with the settling of the ground, they now took upon odd shapes. Allowing a flight of fancy, she imagined them in the moonlight, but not as stones. It was as if dancers had been frozen in time, celebrating some unknown holiday. Perhaps some ancient spirit, trapped in time had taken pity upon her and given Mr. Collins a mighty shove. It was cruel of her to think so, but it could not be helped. Despite Mrs. Bennet’s change of thinking about the heir to Longbourn, her daughters had remained consistent, deepening in distaste with each day. This was especially so at the present moment, as the slovenly creature, now smelling of urine, wailed like a child as Jane attempted to pacify him.
“Someone must go and get help. We shall need horses and some sort of litter. A carriage or wagon is too wide for the pathway. I shall stay here with him, as my aunt’s vicar, I must take responsibility.”
“I too shall remain, he is our cousin…” Elizabeth added, despite her reluctance, it would give an opportunity to discover much about Mr. Darcy. Jane had been right, his arrogance was a misunderstood façade, but he did seem to be withholding his true nature. If Elizabeth hoped to learn more about the man beneath, she must take every opportunity, even if it meant tolerating the whining of Mr. Collins. Even now, in complete safety, he continued to claim that someone or something pushed him over the edge.
“Right so. I will attend Miss Bennet and Miss Mary home, then return with the rescue party.” Mr. Bingley promised and within minutes, they retreated back down the hillside, leaving Elizabeth alone with two very different men.
Watching as they went, Elizabeth Bennet shook her head in disbelief. For the second time in a month, near disaster had befallen Mr. Collins. Either the man was extremely unlucky, or someone had indeed played a hand in both events. The only commonality was the presence of her middle sister, for despite her efforts to conceal it. Mary’s countenance bore an expression of one rather pleased with herself. Someone was very happy that Mr. Collins had taken a fall, but had she caused it? While Elizabeth had entertained many a notion of causing his permanent removal from Longbourn, the idea of actually acting upon it was something else entirely. But Mary was a different sort of person, and Elizabeth would not deny her capable, especially if it meant avoiding an unwanted marriage. A watchful eye would be kept upon her sister. While Elizabeth would never expose her, there would be others who would see such actions for what they were…criminal.
~9~
Fitzwilliam Da
rcy looked down upon the person of Mr. Collins with disgust. The man was truly pathetic, whining as Elizabeth Bennet used her handkerchief to gently dab at the gash upon his forehead. This was not at all how he had hoped the day would be. Despite his initial reluctance to accompany Charles Bingley to Meryton, Darcy was becoming convinced that he had now found the woman he had been waiting for his entire life. Oh, he had to admit, Elizabeth Bennet would not ordinarily have caught his eye, had they not been in close company and had gone so far to say so. But Charles was not a man to be dissuaded.
Refusing Mr Collins Page 3