To this list of ingredients, many of the crowd groaned in distaste. What sane person would ingest such a nasty combination. Hearing the murmurs, Colonel Forster requested elaboration.
“And Doctor, what purpose would those items have?”
“Ah…well, it is only claimed mind you, that this particular arrangement has proven to enhance vigor in men.”
“Vigor? Is Mr. Collins suffering from some malaise?”
“Apparently not of the traditional sort.”
Now, titters of laughter rang through the chamber as the realization of the herbs purpose was understood, causing many a young lady’s face to redden. But none was suffering more from embarrassment than Mr. Collins who voiced his displeasure.
“That is a private matter!” he cried.
“Indeed, but not when accusations of poisoning have been made. Be silent sir, or you shall be removed,” warned Colonel Forster, and the room once again fell silent.
“While it is clearly understood, that Miss Elizabeth Bennet is not to blame, what remains is the fact that someone placed poison in Mr. Collins’ personal medicines. Mr. Bennet, approximately how many people would have had access to Mr. Collins’ bedchamber?”
“I don’t know exactly, perhaps a dozen between family and staff, but surely you don’t think…” Mr. Bennet began, but was hastily cut off.
“I do not think anything; the evidence proves someone’s guilt. Are you content to have a criminal in your household? Is he not your heir? Perhaps you were not pleased with him upon meeting? Perhaps there is resentment for not being able to leave your property to your female children.”
Mr. Bennet, eyes wide at the turn of events, could not reply. Mrs. Bennet, fearing for her own future, began to cry quietly, wondering what would become of them all.
“What do you say Mr. Bennet?”
The answer, did not come from the master of Longbourn, but instead, the often-forgotten middle daughter spoke loud and clear from where she now stood a the back of the room.
“It was me. I made the posset. And dear Doctor, you forgot the bits of dried chicken and basil. Very sloppy of you, but the mice love it,” Mary Bennet declared to a room now shocked silent.
However, before Colonel Forster could interrogate a willing confessor, yet another female voice claimed the blame.
“No sir, it weren’t Miss Mary. I put it in the box, it’s my fault entirely.”
Now, everyone turned to stare at the person whose voice, familiar in its Irish brogue, was that of a trusted servant. Jenny Miller, feeling an intense guilt and fearing that her soul would be damned forever, refused to allow the ladies that had rescued her from poverty to be blamed for her actions. However, the declaration, instead of settling the dilemma, threw the room into a frenzy.
“Cannot trust the Irish” and “Never get a girl from the poorhouse, nothing but thieves,” could be heard in the din as a circle formed around the frightened maid. Only Mary and Elizabeth Bennet rose in her defense, standing on opposite sides, daring anyone to cause harm.
“Enough!” Colonel Forster shouted. His years in command had resulted in a voice that would brook no lack of compliance.
“Mr. Denny, Mr. Wickham. Escort the ladies forward. This hearing is no longer public. Mr. Collins and Sir William Lucas, you will remain, but everyone else, OUT!”
Darcy frowned deeply, he did not like the way the events were turning out. So quickly did people turn an inquiry into a witch-hunt. He only imagined the chaos had Collins actually formally accused Elizabeth of that. However, as a man accustomed to having his way, he did not immediately file out. Approaching Colonel Forster, he made one request.
“Colonel, it is customary for young ladies to be permitted an advocate, will you allow me to serve?”
Forster eyed Darcy with suspicion, but dared not deny him. He was well aware of the man’s connections. Life could be very unpleasant if he refused.”
“As you wish, but I insist you do not interfere.”
“You have my word.”
*****
It took less than an hour before everyone exited the hearing. All, save Mr. Collins, wore happy smiles of relief. It had been determined, that the poisoning was entirely accidental and had Mr. Collins been more careful with the storing of his personal items, completely avoidable. After all, no one expects a servant to be able to read, let alone Chinese. For Darcy, his presence inside the chamber had served a two-fold purpose. Not only were the ladies able to relax and have their statements heard without coercion or manipulation, he was also able to ensure Mr. Wickham’s cooperation. The vote for dismissal had been unanimous, with apologies to the ladies and critical censure to Mr. Collins for wasting so much time.
“Sir, would be appropriate if Miss Miller and the Bennet ladies were compensated for their troubles?” Wickham asked as they closed the proceedings.
Colonel Forster, having suffered for several hours in the presence of quite possibly the most irritating man he had ever encountered, immediately agreed.
“Yes, more than appropriate. Deserved I should think. Mr. Collins, to prevent any counter claims of slander, it would be best to offer an olive branch of goodwill. After all, two of these ladies are your family.”
Mr. Collins, taken aback by the suggestion, blustered in indignation, but was not in a position to refuse. If Lady Catherine ever discovered the details of what had transpired, he would surely lose his place of employment.
“W…would ten pounds be adequate?” he stammered.
“Twenty… each.”
After shaking hands in agreement, Mr. Collins produced what he deemed a fine and offered it to the ladies. Elizabeth and Mary, finding it comically ironic that a spendthrift had such an amount readily on his person, refused to accept.
“Give it all to Jenny, it is she who has suffered the most.” Elizabeth declared and immediately turned her back upon him.
“Mr. Darcy? You must be as famished as I. Will you accept an invitation to luncheon? Cook makes a wonderful cold buffet and I promise there will be no poison.”
Immediately agreeing, Darcy escorted the ladies back to Longbourn where a good dinner, accompanied by equally good company was to be had. Only Mr. Collins followed behind alone. Somehow, he could not shake the feeling that he had been fooled. It was a state to which he was familiar and hated. As soon as possible, he would make arrangements to leave Longbourn, but once Mr. Bennet died, all would be his. He would turn them out into the street. But first, he needed to try one final time to fulfill the demands of Lady Catherine. Going back to Rosings without a wife was not an option.
~22~
Two days later…
Mr. Collins, now a veritable outcast in the house that was someday to be his, hovered cautiously on the fringes of conversations. He had thought about remaining in his chamber until he could settle upon a final decision. Feeling terrible about wrongly accusing Miss Elizabeth, he pondered what to do, but all possible solutions were discarded as soon as they were considered. Because, as he was an honest man, she still terrified him. Adding to the guilt, Elizabeth had insisted upon his escort to breakfast the following morning.
“Are we not family? A misunderstanding, that is all it was, surely not enough to cause permanent hard feelings?”
Elizabeth had not wanted to put forth any sort of peace offering, but the fact of the entailment remained. After hearing the details of the final decision made by Colonel Forster, her mother had fallen into hysterics.
“Now he will never marry any of you! We shall be forced upon the charity of Mr. Bingley, but at least he is a kindly gentleman, but even his income would be strained by the care of us all.”
Having born his share of Mrs. Bennet’s tantrums for the better part of his life, Mr. Bennet only patted her shoulder and abandoned them to the seclusion of his library. He had selfishly chosen not to divulge Mr. Darcy’s request to court Lizzy. Smiling to himself, he planned on letting his wife stew for a while, if she were aware of a wealthy man’s interest in h
er daughter, life would be unbearable for them all. Nothing killed a courtship quicker than bragging before an act was actually achieved. Now, as he collected the latest London newspapers from the hall tray, the front doorbell announced a visitor. Not waiting for a maid, Mr. Bennet answered the door himself. Despite the hour being a bit early for social calls, Mr. Darcy, accompanied by Lt. Wickham stood waiting admittance. Having been informed long prior that the two men were less than friendly, Mr. Bennet was puzzled by their apparent amiability, but bid them inside.
“I take it you are here to see my daughters? Do remind me of which ones?” Mr. Bennet joked halfheartedly.
“Actually sir, it is with you that I wish to speak, of a matter most important to me,” Wickham replied. Because it had not been necessary for him to take an active voice in deciding Elizabeth Bennet’s guilt or innocence, he had expected Darcy to back out of their agreement. So, it was with some surprise that Darcy had insisted upon keeping his promise. Marriage had not originally been his plan when he had first met Lydia. On the contrary, she spoke entirely too much about absolutely nothing. But she was pretty enough, and having an aimable wife, even one lacking in sense, was of value to an officer. It opened doors to social events where one might make powerful friends. That, when combined with a regular commission, and a substantial wedding gift, he would be quite comfortable.
“Is that so, well then, I suppose I should hear you out, but the ladies will be disappointed if you do not attend to them afterwards.”
“I promise we shall.” Darcy insisted and followed them inside Longbourn’s library, shutting the door behind. What would normally be a private conversation, he insisted upon witnessing to ensure its fruition. Now, taking a chair furthest from Mr. Bennet, Darcy calmly waited to see Wickham seal his fate. For Lydia would indeed accept the fool, and after the wedding, Wickham and his silly bride would be gone from his life. It was easily worth the nearly five thousand pounds spent to arrange the commission. Fortunately, in less than five minutes, the deed was done and consent was eagerly, if not with disbelief, given. During the entire interview, Mr. Bennet altered his gaze between the two men. What had Darcy to do with Wickham’s wish to marry Lydia? Had his daughter done something of which he was not aware? Shaking his head, he held up a hand to pause Wickham’s declarations of devotion.
“If she wants you, then I have no objection. But do be patient with her, she is very young and often requires redirection of her energies,” Mr. Bennet cautioned.
“I promise to be gentle, but firm sir, and thank you again. You have made me a most happy man.”
*****
Oblivious to the agreement made about her future, Lydia Bennet sat in collusion with her sister Kitty. The return of Mr. Collins to the sitting room was a great source of amusement to them both as they watched his flustered movements every time Mary or Elizabeth came within close proximity. Even as they spoke, Mr. Collins wandered about the room, unable to utter more than a few words before moving on. Excusing himself, he found solace in the hall, muffled voices could be heard coming from the library, but as he had not been invited to join the male company, he slumped onto the upholstered bench used for removing overshoes. Straining his ears, Mr. Collins tried to discern the conversation inside. Mr. Bennet’s voice was clearly heard, but that of the others, although vaguely familiar, were unintelligible. Sighing, he took measure of the formal hall; improvements were definitely in order. First, he’d change the cream floral wall coverings. They were much to feminine for a man of his robust tastes. Perhaps Lady Catherine would lend her opinion? As he pondered this, his resolve slowly crumbled. It could be years before he inherited Longbourn. Mr. Bennet was only in his early fifties and in good health. If anything, Lady Catherine would probably die first. Having built no relationship with Anne de Bourgh, her sickly daughter, his position as vicar was no more secure than that of the Bennet women. Perhaps he should rethink marrying one of them. While Elizabeth and Mary were out of the question, young Katherine might do well if removed from the company of her sisters. Considering this, he rose to return to the sitting room, but paused as he was once again the subject of ridicule.
“I did feel sorry for poor Lizzy, taking the blame for something she did not do,” Kitty Bennet said with a sigh.
“Well I don’t. That was stupid of her, I should have acted differently, made some sort of elaborate excuse. One that was believable! What was Mary thinking? Just imagine if Mr. Collins ever found out that she had been brewing a love potion! He’d be apoplectic!”
“Oh, I don’t know, it is rather sweet in a way, but she did use some strange herbs. Who knew that poison was a critical ingredient in a love potion?”
“Obviously Mary did not know what she was doing…as usual. Remember when she put bags of herbs allover the house to ward off evil?”
“Oh, do I! They smelled something awful. Mrs. Hill and the maids were finding them for weeks. But I will say… if Mary had truly wanted him dead, he’d be in the ground already. So, it must have been a true accident.”
Mr. Collins, nearly faint with the shock of their words, took slow deep breaths until his heart slowed to a normal rate. His mind, reeling with the realization that the Bennet ladies were hiding sinister deeds, urged him to run. Climbing the stair to his chamber as quickly as his ungainly person would allow, he locked the door behind and took up pen and paper. Miss Lucas had once offered him safe haven. It was now time to accept her offer. He only hoped that her reply would arrive before something else happened to him.
~23~
Lucas Lodge, two days later…
Charlotte Lucas removed the letter Mr. Collins had so hastily sent from her desk and smiled before handing it to her closest friend. He did indeed sound frantic, but she planned on letting him simmer for a bit. Although her plan was to make herself indispensable to him, it required careful manipulation. For that, Charlotte needed a bit more assistance from her closest friend, Elizabeth Bennet.
“Are you positive that you want to marry him? Daily life with him at Longbourn is difficult enough without having to suffer though the intimacies of marriage. I urge you to reconsider,” Lizzy pleaded.
“Oh Lizzy, it is all well and good for you to be selective, especially when a certain gentleman from Derbyshire has obviously set his cap for you. I, however, have no such opportunity and must make the most of what is before me. Mr. Collins will do nicely. Besides, I have no grand expectations of love, that is a luxury that I cannot afford.”
Elizabeth shook her head, but could not deny the practical nature of her friend. Charlotte, being far closer to the dangerous age of thirty than twenty, was a realist. For a moment, Elizabeth imagined herself in the same situation. The possibility of becoming a servant to one’s own family was not appealing, even if it was to Jane. The feeling of being a charity case would be insufferable. As for Mr. Darcy, she was unsure about her own feelings. He was handsome and extremely wealthy, but a life without affection would be misery…but so would a life with Mr. Collins. Sighing, she forced a smile and agreed to do whatever Charlotte requested.
“If you are sure, then you have my cooperation. But as he is already accepting your hospitality, I am not sure what else there is to do? Why not just write and tell him to come immediately?”
“It may not be enough. Mr. Collins needs to perceive me as the one person with whom he cannot live without. Since he has the belief that not only you, but also Mary are trying to harm him, it will be easy to convince him that any common occurrence has sinister meaning.”
Lizzy snorted a laugh, “That will be easy, he already avoids me and practically jumps when Mary draws within ten paces. But, as for making you his savior, I am not so sure. Lady Catherine de Bourgh already holds that place. You will always be second to his enslavement to her.”
“We all must cater to someone. Your own family gives in to your mother’s tantrums, it will be no different. Besides, employers do not last forever, but wives… that is another matter.”
“What are y
ou suggesting?”
“I will write to him, explaining the prudence of leaving on good terms and promise to visit daily to alleviate his distress. That will allow for enough time to orchestrate another accident, but this time I will be with him to contravene any blame he may place towards your family. Directly after Lydia’s wedding should be soon enough. I shall also suggest that he volunteer to perform the ceremony.”
To this, Elizabeth rolled her eyes. The utter surprise of Lydia’s engagement to George Wickham was only eclipsed by the demands the youngest Bennet now made upon everyone. As Mr. Wickham was to soon be assigned to a new regiment, their wedding was scheduled to take place in less than a week. A special license had been procured and now the household was in a flurry of preparations. Elizabeth had been pleased to escape the chaos for a few hours. At least her mother had not required her time exclusively. A shrewd woman, Mrs. Bennet immediately excused Elizabeth and Jane every time Bingley and Darcy called. Fortunately, that was quite often.
“We are expecting the gentlemen from Netherfield today for tea. Why don’t you come as well? Mama and Lydia will be occupied with the wedding, that will leave Mr. Collins as the odd man out. It will give opportunity to further endear yourself to him, far more personal than a letter.”
Charlotte pondered the possibilities with a smile, already choosing another dress to wear, but paused as a frown of worry crossed her features.
“What of Kitty?” she asked, knowing that neither of the two younger Bennets could hold their tongues. Kitty could ruin all her plans.
“Don’t worry about her being there. She hates him and makes no pretense about it. Besides, the prospect of being maid of honor has her fully entrenched with the wedding.”
“Then I am pleased to accept your invitation… and your assistance.”
~24~
Longbourn some hours later…
Refusing Mr Collins Page 8