Samuel told of the Delaware River and Valley Forge, of George Washington and his brave yet humble men.
"What was Valley Forge actually like?" she'd asked.
"Primitive. I can't imagine how harsh it was for our soldiers wintering there. They had so little. I think it was only by the grace of God that they survived to keep on fighting."
"Imagine what the world would have been like if they didn't."
She'd fostered polite, intelligent conversation but the sleeve of his coat had been touching her arm. Her skin tingled and her ears were thudding.
Samuel went on to tell more and Julia hung on every word. She loved to hear him talk of history. His voice practically danced with excitement over the smallest details.
"I would love to see the places you have visited," she'd said.
He had smiled. "Then we will do so, one day."
The invitation surprised her yet she did not have much time to ponder it. Samuel had then said, "You know, by this time next April, I will have completed my studies. I will have found permanent work."
He'd searched her face. Julia felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Her heart had beaten even faster as his words raced though her mind.
Then we will do so one day? I will have completed my studies? Could this be leading to'¦?
She'd held her breath, waiting, hoping.
Samuel glanced in the direction of the house, presumably making certain Edward wasn't approaching.
Don't let him come, she'd prayed selfishly. Oh, please Lord, don't let him come. Make him stay inside.
Samuel reached for her hand, running his thumb gently across her skin. She'd dared to meet his gaze.
He'd looked as nervous as she felt. His words then tumbled out.
"Julia, I love you. I have loved you forever it seems. When my studies are finished, when I secure a teaching post, will you consider, well, will you marry me?"
He'd stared at her, eyes wide.
She had not moved. She did not breathe. She could scarcely believe what she had just heard.
"Did you just ask me to marry you?" she'd asked, her voice trembling with emotion.
"Yes. Well, I must ask your father and I must find work'"
There was no telling how much longer he would have rambled on had she not laid her free hand on top of his. He'd stopped midsentence.
"Yes," she'd said.
At that, he'd looked as though he scarcely believed her. "You will wait for me?"
A surety unlike anything she had ever known before settled over her. She wanted to be with Samuel. It seemed God had planned so from the beginning.
"I will wait for you," she'd promised.
Robins had chirped their approval as a smile moved over his face. Julia felt the warmth of his gaze, seen the hunger in his eyes.
No man had ever kissed her before. She bit her lip then realized that was completely the wrong thing to do in this situation.
Samuel leaned closer. Fear and yet anticipation made her hands tremble. He must have felt it. He squeezed them gently just before his mouth found hers.
Julia had never forgotten the sweetness nor the excitement of that first kiss. When Samuel held her in his arms he had the power to make everything else around them disappear.
But reality soon returned, harder and uglier with each dose.
Lying in the stillness, the safety of her own room, she sighed. Did I just not realize then what I was promising? I didn't know how complicated things would become. Neither of us imagined war, let alone our family divided over it.
She rolled back to her side, her eyes falling upon the Frederick Douglass book lying on the nightstand. Her father had asked her to read the small volume; but as of yet she had not. Julia sucked in her breath. By Samuel's own admission it was this man's words that had shaped his convictions and fixed his position concerning this conflict.
What was it this man said that convinced him he could not support Edward's cause? And if it is so important to him then why didn't he simply ask me to read it in the first place?
Her curiosity sparked, she swapped his watch for the narrative.
Propping up on her pillows, she turned to the first page. She was about to find out more information than she had ever imagined.
She just didn't know it.
"
John had been right. The real test of political imprisonment here at the fort was boredom. Sam had often wondered what it would be like to have unlimited hours to read. He had found out it was not as glorious as he had once imagined. Eyes grew weak, necks stiff. Julius Caesar and his Roman legions were not nearly as intriguing as they had once been. He soon found himself longing for the most mundane of physical labor, chopping wood or pulling weeds from the garden.
John passed him the latest copy of The Baltimore Sun. Sam glanced at the headlines and sketches. Short, bald General Butler had been replaced by Major General George Cadwalader and three regiments from Philadelphia. Sam scanned the article, learning it was partially this man's role which had led to his arrest.
Cadwalader had received orders from President Lincoln "to arrest persons under certain circumstances and to hold them prisoner though they should be demanded by writs of habeas corpus."
Sam had read enough of the article. He passed the paper back to John.
"I'm telling you," John said, "it is only a matter of time before we see more good citizens of Baltimore here in our company."
By the way the article had read, Sam was inclined to agree with him. He prayed the soldiers would continue to honor Dr. Stanton's oath of loyalty and that Dr. Carter and his friends in Fell's Point would be careful concerning their activities.
One of William's relatives had sent a checkerboard. The men took turns passing the time with the game. John, who by now had abandoned the paper, asked questions about Julia and her baking. It seemed he had an appetite as large as the Federal Army itself.
"Will she send more soon?"
Sam had not told anyone of what had happened between him and Julia. He did not want anyone to think ill of her. "I am sure she will when she is able," he said.
"Does she make cornbread?"
"Yes."
"Blueberry muffins?"
Sam smiled. "When the berries are in season."
John nodded. "We're coming into blueberry season here soon," he said.
"I will mention that next time I speak with her."
Sam didn't know when that might be but he did not let on so. He had thought about writing her but there wasn't much news to tell. The only things he did want to say to her, he had promised he wouldn't.
I said I would respect her wishes. I must do so.
He picked up his Bible and walked out to the portico. A summer storm was pelting the fort. Sam sat down on the buckling porch floorboards and stretched out his legs. He wondered when Dr. Stanton would visit again. He wondered if Julia would ever come with him.
He sighed, knowing deep down inside that she wouldn't. Even if it was her desire to set things right between us, she is too afraid of the soldiers. The best I can hope for at this point is more bread.
He watched as below, a squad of men ran double-quick across the grassy interior. Their uniforms were soggy. The men were slowed by the heavy, wet wool. A fellow at the end of the line tripped in the mud. He scrambled to his feet, hurrying to catch up with the others before anyone noticed.
They were once just ordinary men with ordinary lives. Now they are here and our entire nation is divided.
He thought again of Julia. He had purposely spared her the details of slavery. Many were too gruesome, too appalling to discuss. But he wondered what she would say if she knew the whole truth. Would it change her opinions,
her focus in this conflict?
He sighed once more. Even if it did, Edward would still be part of the Confederate Army. The family would still be divided. And slavery would still be legal here in Maryland.
"
Julia continued to read, though she had been ghastly underprepared for the story the book told. In the first chapter alone, Frederick Douglass told how he was separated from his mother as a baby, which was the common practice in Maryland. Mothers were sold off to other plantations and the children given to old women who were too feeble to work in the fields.
Did such a thing happen to Elijah and Elisha? she wondered. Do they even know who their mother is?
Douglass went on to tell how men and women were whipped repeatedly by cruel overseers. Much of the time, the whip masters were drunk and swearing profanely.
Two chapters of the man's life were all she could take. Julia was now in tears; her eyes opened to a new world, a cruel and despicable one.
No wonder Samuel cannot support States' Rights, not if slavery is a right insisted upon. No wonder he felt he must aid the young runaway. Oh, Lord, please forgive me. I had no idea. Edward has no idea. She wiped her eyes, shivering as she imagined the gruesome scenes she had read about.
How many slaves are suffering such a fate here in Maryland? How many right here in Baltimore? I thought Samuel had been a coward. I even told him so. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She began to sob. Oh, Lord, forgive me. I had no idea.
"
Sam felt it as certainly as though John or William had nudged him on the shoulder. He laid his Bible aside.
I need to pray for her.
Bowing his head while the business of war circled about him, Sam once more prayed for Julia. Whatever is happening to her at this moment, Lord, be with her. Give her wisdom. Give her courage to follow the path You have chosen for her.
"
She had told herself she would not read another word. It was too disturbing, too heartbreaking, but she felt compelled to continue. Julia cringed at stories of slaves who had been murdered by their masters. Neither the justice system nor society treated the acts as a crime.
And then those poor girls'¦
A knock sounded on the door. Julia jumped. Quickly laying the book aside, she scrambled to her feet. "Come in."
Sally peeked her head inside.
Julia wiped her eyes with her handkerchief. "Oh, Sally, thank goodness you are here!"
Sally shut the door behind her. "Your mother told me what happened. I am so sorry."
She gave Julia a hug and then they sat down on the bed.
Julia drew up her knees and smoothed out her wrinkled day dress. "Oh, Sally, it's just terrible."
"Were you able to sleep?"
"No."
"Emily came to the prayer meeting today. She said that her father spoke with Sam this morning."
"Yes, but the soldiers won't release him."
"Oh, my."
"I went with Father to the house this morning. He was bundling up shirts. We sent him his Bible and one of his schoolbooks. I baked him a loaf of bread."
Sally smiled comfortingly. "I am certain he appreciated that."
"Oh, Sally, I have been so foolish! I should have listened to you when you said I was making a mistake. I should have gone back to Samuel right at that very moment and told him that I was sorry. Now I am afraid that it's too late."
Julia strangled the handkerchief in her hands. "I called him a coward. A coward!"
"Julia, if I know Sam, he has long since forgiven you."
"Do you think he could?"
"He loves you. You know he does."
Julia nodded her head yes. If there was one thing she was certain of now, it was that Samuel Ward loved her; though she could not for the life of herself understand why.
"It is worse than that," she said.
"What is?"
"I know why he has sided with the abolitionists."
"You do?"
"Yes." She drew in a quick breath. "I read that book."
Sally squinted. "What book?"
Julia pointed to the nondescript volume lying at the foot of her bed. "That one. It belongs to Samuel."
"Is it about slavery?"
"Yes."
Curiosity caused her to pick it up. Sally leafed through the pages though not really settling on any particular one. She then looked back at Julia. "Is this the man from up north? The one that set him thinking about abolition?"
"Yes. He was a slave on a plantation in Talbot County some years before."
"Truly?"
"Yes. Oh, Sally, he wrote all sorts of horrible things! I thought slavery was just about working in the fields, like farm hands but this man wrote of what life is really like for a slave. Things that I never imagined."
"Like what?"
"Like how they chain their hands, their feet, even their necks! How slaves are separated from their families and sold to different owners." She lowered her voice to a whisper. Her cheeks grew warm with embarrassment. "The women are bred like horses."
Sally blinked. "What do you mean?"
Julia found Frederick Douglass's own words and showed Sally the page.
Her jaw dropped and her face turned as red as Julia's. "The slave masters father the children and then they turn around and sell them? Do they do this everywhere?"
"I don't know," Julia said, "but it must be common enough if this man chose to write about it."
"That is absolutely disgraceful!"
Julia nodded. "Samuel kept saying that he could not support a Confederacy that allowed slavery. I am beginning to understand why."
"Then you should tell him that."
"Where would I even begin? It's so awful."
"Tell him what you have told me. Tell him that you read his book. You don't need to say anything more. He will understand."
Julia's shoulders rose and fell with a quick shallow breath. "Do you really think he will?"
"Of course."
Both of them grew quiet, contemplative. Sally picked up the book again and scanned its pages. Julia's breathing eventually settled to a more normal pace.
A half hour went by. Sally put down the book.
"I don't want to read anymore. I have read enough."
Their minds were full. Their hearts were heavy. With eyes opened to such evil, their consciences demanded a choice. They could not remain ambivalent as they had been and they both knew it.
"What do we do now?" Sally asked. "Where do we go from here?"
"I wish I knew. For the first time I understand the pressure, the confusion Samuel must be feeling. Slavery is wrong. I am convinced of that now but I don't like what the Federal Army is doing either."
Sally shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe that they arrested your father. That they kept Sam."
Julia shuddered just thinking of it. "I don't know when or if they will let him come home."
"Just keep praying," Sally urged.
She tried to have faith. She tried to be brave but her thoughts immediately went to her brother. "What am I going to tell Edward?" Julia asked.
"What am I going to tell Stephen? I never knew slaves were treated like that."
They both wiped away tears. Sally then stretched out across the bottom of the bed and stared at the ceiling.
"There aren't any answers written up there," Julia said. "Believe me, I have looked."
Sally rolled onto her side. "Why did God allow it to get this far?" she asked. "Why did He let it come to war?"
"P
erhaps He was speaking all along," Julia said. "Perhaps we just weren't listening."
The unspoken consequences of such actions blanketed the room in heavy silence.
"What will happen to our brothers?" Sally dared ask. "To our other friends? Not everyone in the Confederate Army agrees with slavery."
Julia thought of what Samuel had said about praying for Edward's safety. His words had angered her. Now she appreciated them more then she could ever have imagined.
"Like you said, we just have to keep praying."
"We should pray for them right now. We should pray for ourselves, as well."
Julia agreed. Sally pulled herself into a sitting position and they clasped hands. They pleaded for God's intervention in the lives of their brothers and for all of those they knew. They did not stop until His peace permeated the room.
"
Sally returned home just before supper. After the light meal, the doorbell rang. Dr. Stanton had gone upstairs, so Julia went to answer the door. She first checked the window for any sign of Federal soldiers.
On the porch stood Charles Moffit.
Oh, dear, she thought.
Taking a moment to gather her composure, she then opened the door.
"Miss Stanton," he said, quickly removing his topper and placing it over his heart. "I came as soon as I heard the news. The arrest of your father? Why, it is appalling! Those Yankees'"
"He is home now," Julia said, "and the matter has been concluded."
He breathed a sigh of relief. "I am pleased to hear that. I shall be returning to Annapolis today but if your family should have need of any assistance'¦"
Any assistance she may be in need of, Charles Moffit could not supply. She knew that now. "I thank you Mr. Moffit but that won't be necessary."
"I see."
Julia knew she had to speak plainly. "And as for our future correspondence, I am afraid I must decline."
His face fell. "I see," he said once again. "Does this have anything to do with your former fiancé?"
She was taken aback by his inquisitiveness. "It has to do with a great many things," Julia said. "Most of which would be improper to discuss."
Her Rebel Heart Page 20