Her eyes were soft, blue oceans deep with emotion. Sam's heart swelled so that he thought it would burst. "You don't even need to ask," he said. "Of course I forgive you."
She closed her eyes, a smile of relief on her lips. He wished to take her completely in his arms.
"I have missed you," he said instead.
"I have missed you, as well," she said.
She searched his face. His chin was unshaven, his hair out of place and she could tell that already he had begun to lose weight because of his meager meal rations. His smile, though, was still the same'full of life and laughter. She let the warmth of it wash over her.
"I have not been able to sleep since they arrested you," she said.
"It's not that bad here," he promised. "I get fresh air and decent meals."
Though the guard standing at the door was watching their every move, Julia no longer cared. She reached up to touch Samuel's face. "They aren't feeding you enough," she said. "I brought you a basket of food."
He glanced at the basket on the table. He grinned. "Thank you. Does it include bread and jam?"
"Yes."
He chuckled. "My bunkmates enjoyed the last loaf you sent. They were hoping you would send more."
Her hand found his again. She smiled. "I will send two loaves next time."
"They would appreciate that."
There was a pause in the conversation and once more Julia could hear the sound of soldiers' voices coming from beyond the room. As happy as she was to be with Samuel she was reminded that they were in the middle of a war. The disturbing issues of such flooded her memory. She lowered her eyes. She wanted to tell him about everything that had happened but she did not want the guard to overhear.
Samuel lifted her chin so her eyes met his. "What's wrong?"
Julia remembered her father's warning. She pieced together her words, choosing them carefully. "I read your book," she said softly. "The one that you brought home from Philadelphia."
His eyebrows arched. She knew he knew exactly what she was talking about. She could feel the fire building in her face.
"Father asked me to read it'¦to understand why you'¦well, I understand now."
"I am sorry that you had to learn about such things, Julia. I never'"
"Samuel it is I who am sorry. I had no idea what it was really like. If I did, I never would have asked you to go with'¦" She bit her lip, not wanting to say her brother's name in front of the guard. "I believe now that you made the right decision."
Sam's spirit soared. How he had longed to hear her say such words, to have her respect the choice he had made. He ran his fingers gently through her curls. At that moment all he wanted to do was kiss her.
"I want to support you," she said. "Honestly, I do. I just don't know how exactly. I am praying about such things and I am on the watch for God's answer."
"Oh, sweetheart."
"You have five minutes!" the guard behind him announced.
Sam glanced at him and then back at Julia.
"I cannot even begin to tell you how you have made me feel by what you have just said," he whispered.
Julia smiled brightly. "In the meantime I will continue with what we have started. Sally and I will bake bread for the church and her father and mine will assist us until you return."
Samuel did not take his eyes off her. He clasped her hands a little tighter. "I prayed that you would do so."
"I was there today. I saw Elijah and Elisha. They both were well and'" Tears danced in her blue eyes. "They were wearing stockings."
"Oh, they were?"
Her hands were trembling in his but this time he knew it was because of joy.
"Thank you, Samuel."
"Thank you."
"It did my heart good to know that they were being looked after."
"It pleases me that you care for them so."
"I want to do more," she said.
He ran his thumbs gently across her hands. "So do I."
"Three minutes!"
Her jaw twitched and his heart was racing. Time was slipping away much too quickly. There was so much he wanted to tell her yet there was so little time. He had thought the sight of her would be enough to sustain him through his confinement, however long it was. Now he realized that the separation would only bring more agony.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you. I wish we had married when we had the opportunity. I am so sorry for the time I have wasted."
"Hush now," he said. "None of the time has been wasted. We have both grown in our faith, in our convictions." He smiled. "God has a way of taking our fears and mistakes and turning them into something beautiful."
"You have always thought the best of me'¦of us." She squeezed his hand. "When will they release you?"
"I don't know, but don't worry. They won't keep me here forever."
"One minute!"
She glanced at the guard and then looked back at Samuel. The pending separation was going to be difficult.
"Is there nothing we can do?" she asked, the emotions in her voice growing. "You didn't have anything to do with the bridge burnings. You tried to stop them! Why don't they believe that?"
Tears silvered her lashes. They spilled down her cheeks. Samuel pulled her close, laying her head to his chest. His heart was pounding.
"Don't cry. The army will sort this out soon enough. In the meantime, just keep praying."
Julia buried her head in his wrinkled white shirt, wishing that they were anywhere but where they actually were at that moment. "I promise I will, unceasingly."
When the guard announced that their time together had come to an end, she wanted to scream. Samuel reluctantly pulled away from her. She could feel her heart ripping in two.
"I love you," she promised.
"I love you."
The guard stepped toward Samuel to escort him out. Julia watched in powerless silence as he was led to the door. Just before crossing the threshold, he looked back.
"I will be home soon," he promised. "Don't worry."
With tears streaming down her cheeks Julia stood in the center of the room until he disappeared from view. A moment later, her father and Private Higgins returned.
"Are you all right?" her father asked.
She wiped her eyes and tried to muster a respectable measure of composure. He took her arm.
"I know it wasn't easy but you did a good thing by coming here today," he said. "Did you see the look on his face when he first saw you?"
She summoned a small smile. The look on his face could only have mirrored what she felt by seeing him. "Thank you for bringing me here."
He smiled. "You are welcome, child."
"Follow me, please," Private Higgins requested.
The sunlight stung her eyes as Julia stepped from the building. Once more the sounds of marching men filled her ears. Just before passing through the inner gate, she glanced back.
On the second floor portico of one of the buildings, Samuel was standing.
He was waving goodbye.
"
John came up to the railing. "Is that her?" he asked as the woman in the blue dress disappeared beyond the gate.
"Yes," Sam said. "That's Julia."
"You married? You never did say. In fact, you haven't said much about her at all except that she bakes muffins."
Sam smiled as he turned from the future that awaited him to face the grim confines of today. "No. W
e're not married yet. We are engaged."
John nodded. "So when's the wedding?"
"As soon as I get out of here."
"
Julia replayed the moments with Samuel over and over in her mind as her father's carriage wobbled toward home. Her heart was overflowing with praise.
Oh, Lord, thank You! Thank You for giving me the opportunity to see him, for allowing me to set things right.
She was also relieved to find that the soldiers at the fort were not nearly as horrible as she had imagined. The ones she had encountered today were not Northern monsters. They appeared to be just ordinary men.
Private Higgins, for instance, had addressed her father informally as he escorted them back to the main gate. Julia had listened in on every word.
"Pretty city you folks have," the young man had commented. "The Patapsco River reminds me of a place back home."
"Oh, really," her father said. "Where is that?"
"Maine."
"Is that so? Do you do much fishing up there?"
"Yes, indeed, my brother and I. And I can't wait to get back to it."
She had never once considered that the soldiers occupying her city were just as miserable as she. They, too, wanted this war to end so they could be reunited with their own families.
Although Julia could not commit herself to supplying the Federal Army with socks, she would now pray for them.
Sally was waiting for her when she arrived home.
"Your mother told me where you were," she said, practically beaming. "Was Sam pleased to see you?"
Julia grinned, giddy with excitement.
"I take it that is a yes," Sally said. "I suppose then you will have need of this." From behind her back she drew a skein of lace. "I measured. It is enough to complete your gown."
Julia's eyes widened. A delightful gasp escaped her throat. "How did you'?"
"The girls and I kept working on it. That is why none of us have been able to match your pace of knitting."
Her heart swelled. She was so touched by Sally's faith. "You kept working even when I had broken the engagement?"
"Of course. You know me. I don't give up easily."
Sally grinned and Julia hugged her. "I am so glad for that."
"I have something else for you." She pulled a letter from her pocket. "It is from Edward."
The letter was already opened. Julia let out a laugh and raised her eyebrows when Sally handed it to her.
"I am sorry," she said sheepishly, "but when you weren't here, well, I could not wait. I wanted to be certain he was safe."
"Is he?"
Sally grinned once more. "He is well."
Julia was practically dancing with excitement. First Samuel, now Edward'¦ Could this day get any better? "What else did he have to say?"
"I don't know. I only read the first two paragraphs. The rest concerns you and Sam. I stopped reading when I realized it was so personal."
A tint of uneasiness clouded her bright outlook. Julia unfolded the paper for herself. She hoped Edward's words toward Samuel would be charitable. Yet, even if they were not, it would not change her feelings, her commitment to him. She slowly began to read.
I received a letter from Sam just today. He wanted to apologize for our confrontation the night I left Baltimore. He said that while he could not join this fight, he would continue to pray for me.
Julia breathed and continued.
It is I who should apologize, Julia. I never should have told you to reconsider marrying him. I was angry. I was disappointed but the truth is, now I am glad he stayed behind. Sam is a good man. It is a comfort to know that he is there to protect you.
Although our political views may differ, I wish you nothing but happiness for the years ahead.
Julia wiped tears of thankfulness from her eyes before passing the letter to Sally. Miles, war and prison may physically separate them but in her heart, her family had been reunited.
"
The Marshal and police commissioners joined Sam and the others late that evening. The bunks were now full with one man left standing. Sam voluntarily gave up his bed for the floor. Little could physically disturb him now that Julia had come. His only source of contention was not knowing how much longer they would be separated.
Sunrise dawned hot and hazy. The men had just finished Sam's greens and sardines when Private Higgins climbed the staircase. Eyeing Sam, he said matter-of-factly, "You are ordered to gather your personal items and follow me immediately."
The men on the porch stared at Higgins. They then glanced at Sam. He swallowed hard and stood to his feet. Anxiety washed over him in a cold sweat.
"I will do so," Sam said and he went to gather his books and clothing.
John followed him inside.
"What do you make of this?" Sam whispered as he rolled up his extra shirts and wrapped them in the brown paper that Dr. Stanton had sent.
John scratched his head. "They are either sending you home or you are being moved to a confinement cell."
His pulse raced. Did the Lord allow me to see Julia because things are about to get worse? Do they now know of the role I played in assisting Rose?
The thought of the damp concrete and cold iron bars in the Sally Port prison did not appeal to him but Sam tried to think positively. Whatever the Lord allows will be for the ultimate good, for me'¦for Julia'¦for all of us.
Drawing on his faith, he turned to face John. He stuck out his hand. "It has been a pleasure knowing you."
"And you, Sam. I think they are sending you home. Good luck with that young lady."
"Thank you and I hope that you are released soon."
John waved him off with a cavalier smile. "This war can't last forever, you know."
Sam scooped up his belongings and headed back outside. He bid the others God's blessings then he followed Private Higgins down the stairs.
"Where are we going?" he dared to ask.
Higgins wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He adjusted the musket on his shoulder. "The lieutenant colonel wants to see you."
Sam's mind raced. Perhaps John is right. Perhaps they are sending me home. If that is the case then Julia and I'
He tried not to think that far ahead. He followed Higgins to the processing room where Lieutenant Colonel Morris and his fellow officers were once again seated at the long table. The men were in full uniform. Their brass buckles and boots shined.
Sam felt severely underdressed appearing in his wrinkled trousers and shirtsleeves, not to mention his growing beard and unkempt hair. He tucked his brown paper package in the crook of his arm.
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
Morris shuffled the stack of paperwork before him. "Samuel Ward, your whereabouts and activities on the night of April nineteenth of this year have been confirmed. As you previously stated, you had no involvement in the railroad bridge burnings of that evening."
He continued to read from the sheet in front of him. The man's tone was all business, the trademark of a career military man. "It has also been confirmed that you were not involved in any seditious activity at the Carroll Hall Armory and that you did in fact try to discourage your fellow citizens from participating in the destruction of railroad property."
Sam wondered how the man had confirmed such information. More than likely one of the police commissioners had testified on his behalf. He held his breath, waiting, praying that Morris's next words would set him free.
The lieutenant colonel stared at him. His face showed no emotion whatsoever. "Therefore it is the decision of this board of inquiry that you be released, pending you agree to swear an oath of alle
giance to the United States government."
Sam breathed a grateful sigh. Relief flooded his veins.
"Will you so swear?" Morris asked.
"I will."
"Then raise your right hand and repeat after me'¦"
Sam did so but had little idea what he was actually repeating. His body was in the processing room at Fort McHenry but his heart and his mind were already in Mount Vernon.
When the procedure was completed Private Higgins escorted Sam to the main gate. To his surprise William Davis was waiting for him.
"I didn't know that you were here, sir."
"I had arrived to discuss your case," Mr. Davis said, "but the lieutenant colonel told me of your impending release and he said I could wait for you here." The man grinned. "I don't suppose you need a ride to Mount Vernon, do you?"
Sam returned the smile. "Would you mind taking me to my house first?"
"In need of a shave?" Davis said with a chuckle.
Sam itched his scraggily chin. "You could say so."
"
The lace was absolutely beautiful. Julia stopped every few stitches or so to run her fingers over the delicate edges. She had already finished adding it to the sleeves and neckline. The only thing left was the waist.
She smiled to herself. White wedding dresses had only recently come into fashion. She could not wait for Samuel to see her in the gown. She could not wait to be his wife.
She sighed contentedly as she then glanced about the garden. He would come. She knew not when but she was certain he would come. The army would release him and then their life together would begin.
"
Why he felt nervous he couldn't imagine. Perhaps it was because reality had yet to sink in. This morning he was a political prisoner. This afternoon he was a free man. Sam clasped his hands behind his back only to keep them still. He felt like he did that evening in the Stanton's garden, the moment he had kissed Julia for the first time.
He rang the bell. Dr. Stanton opened the door.
"Praise be to God!" he shouted as he swallowed Sam up in a fatherly embrace. "I can't believe it! Is it really you?"
Her Rebel Heart Page 23