Jamille really seemed like a good catch. He gave her a sense of hope. She didn’t have to settle for Tony. There were other men out there who were good-looking and not losers that would be interested in her. Now it was too late to believe this—she was already knocked up by Tony, with his doggish self. She just wished that she could be having her child with a man who loved and respected her.
She was still pissed that he called her a gold digger, and that he deals with women better than her. How do you say that to the mother of your child while she’s pregnant? Dakota just wasn’t cool with that at all. Tony had called a couple of times but she didn’t answer her phone—she had to let him know that she wasn’t some chicken-head girl. Her actions may have said that to him over the past year, but she had more self-respect than she may have been showing. So he wasn’t just going to call her up and everything be OK, and then come get some ass. Not this time around. He left messages saying that he was sorry, and he was just upset, he didn’t mean all of that, and he cared about her more than she knew. He even said he was excited and very happy that they were having a baby. As mad as she was, that message was what she had wanted to hear from Tony for quite some time. She was going to call him back when she heard that message, but she figured she would let him call her again, and when he did she would answer the phone. It was a shame she had to play these games but as long as they were going to be parenting a child together, she knew she had to always be ready to make her next move. At least until she popped the baby out, and she could take Jamille up on his offer, with his fine self.
79
Better Never Than Late
Eight missed calls. All from Omar. What is this about, Jordan thought to herself. A small piece of her was actually excited to see his name in her phone. He hadn’t spoken to her in weeks since that day he called and Jayon was over. What has him calling now? And so urgently? Jordan’s assistant told her he called twice, but eight missed calls on her cell phone, too? This was something for sure.
She called him immediately. After the third ring he picked up. “Hello, Jordan?” he said, as if he had been waiting for her call all day.
“Yeah. Hi, Omar. Everything OK?” she asked.
“Yeah, where are you?”
“I’m at the office,” she said, sounding confused.
“I wanted to see if we can talk ... like now,” he said.
“I have a 2:00 o’clock, but I can talk for a bit now if you’d like.”
“No, I want to talk face-to-face ... where will you be at around 4:00?”
“Probably still at the office,” she said, still sounding very confused.
“I’ll be there then to pick you up, and we can go to Ronnie’s Place to get some food and talk,” he replied.
Jordan wasn’t even sure she was up for this, but Omar never took rejection well. Regardless of the reason she would give, whether it was good and valid or not, it would only hurt his feelings. Especially since he was even taking this step to try to talk.
“OK, I’ll meet you there,” she said, trying not to show her hesitation. He seemed happy that she accepted, and they hung up. She sat there in her black leather office chair with her face in both of her hands, just trying to figure out what the hell was going on with her life. She was going on a date with her husband. The husband who she had been considering filing for a divorce from. Her partner for the past fourteen years, who now seemed more like a stranger.
She picked up the phone and called Jayon directly after she finished taking in the situation.
“Hey, baby,” he said as soon as he answered.
He still made her blush with something just as simple as that.
“Hey sweetie ... listen, what are you doing?” she replied.
“I’m leaving Time Warner now. Had to go over some things with the director for their HR meeting ... Why, what are you doing?” he said.
“I’m actually about to head into a meeting in a few minutes. But at 4:00 P.M. I also have a meeting of some sort. I just wanted you to know so you won’t look for me when you get back to the office.”
“What meeting do you have at 4:00 P.M.?
“Actually ... Omar. He wants to meet and talk,” she replied.
“About what?”
“I don’t know, he didn’t say.”
“O—K” Jayon said, sounding confused.
“Are you cool with that?”
“Baby. Please. Of course I’m cool with it. You both have some things you need to clear up and discuss anyway. It’s actually about time.”
“You sure?” she asked.
“Babe ... go. Don’t worry about me. Just be strong. If you need me, I’m #8 on your speed dial.”
Jordan started to laugh. That’s one of the things she loved about him. Jayon was always putting her first. Especially in this trying time—not once did he act like the jealous boyfriend. He had been her friend first and allowed her to do what she had to do to get through this. With all the guilt she had been dealing with, it seemed he was the one person who didn’t think of her as a heartless witch.
It was about 4:45 when she walked into Ronnie’s Place and saw Omar talking to Rita, Ronnie’s wife. Ronnie’s Place was a small soul food restaurant owned by Ronnie, and it was where Omar got his start in the cooking industry. They went there a lot when they were dating, and there were many late nights that she had talks with Rita, while she was waiting for Omar to get off work. They always looked at Ronnie’s like a home away from home.
As soon as Omar noticed her he nodded in her direction to let Rita know she had arrived. Rita immediately scurried over to Jordan with open arms to greet her. It had been at least two years since they had seen one another, and Jordan was happy to see her. Omar knew what he was doing, having the talk there; he knew this place always took Jordan back to their early days. This had been where they’d made up several times, but this was different. So although it was great seeing Rita, and Jordan’s stomach got excited at the smell of their soul food, she knew she and Omar had to get this wrapped up.
Jordan’s mind was made up—Omar had had his chance. So as soon as they sat down at the table, she looked up at Omar and said, “What did you want to talk about?”
On the way there she had thought about when she had suggested to Omar that they talk and he said there was nothing to talk about, how mean and heartless he was, and she realized she was being nice just to show up. She knew this was her opportunity for revenge—she realized that when she first spoke to him earlier and he suggested talking. However, it was past playing games for her. She was way past revenge and spite—she had really let go. She tried to get Omar to see that months ago, but he didn’t want to listen. Now here it was, going on ten months after he first left, and he finally wanted to talk.
“Jordan, I have been thinking long and hard and I realize how badly I messed up. I know there were some issues that you and I needed to resolve, but I handled it completely wrong.”
“Omar, it took you a year to realize this?” she asked.
“I’ve noticed it for a while now, but I was too afraid to talk to you about it. I didn’t know what to say or what you’d say,” he answered.
“Omar, I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Say you will give us another chance. Say we can have one more shot—you know we are meant to be together. We have fifteen years together—we owe each other another chance.”
“I tried to explain that to you before, but you said years wasn’t everything.”
“I was wrong, Jordan—can’t you forgive me for my mistakes?”
“I can’t tell you that, Omar—things are different now.”
“I’m willing to take the time that it will take to get things back the way they were.”
“Omar, this is so sudden. You have to understand that I’m in a different situation,” she said.
“What could possibly be that serious that you can’t even give us a chance?”
“Omar, my heart. I could never trust you with it aga
in ... and I have already started to move on,” she answered.
“What does that mean?”
Jordan didn’t know how to say it—it was like she wanted him to guess. She couldn’t bring her lips to say what she knew would be the last thing he wanted to hear.
“Omar, I haven’t been just waiting around for this day—to be honest, I didn’t think it would ever come,” she said.
“Are you seeing someone?”
“I wouldn’t say all of that, but there is someone who has been keeping my spirits up, and I can’t just go tell him thanks but I’m done.”
Omar just sat there for a few seconds. Then he asked, “Who is this someone?”
“Jayon, Omar. Jayon ... he has been there for me through all of this, and you can’t just think you’re gonna come back into my life complaining about my relationship with him.”
“Jayon?”
“Yes, Omar, and I don’t need you passing judgment right now. You have no right.”
“I have no right? So the man that broke our marriage up to begin with, you’re going to let him prevent us from getting back together?”
Jordan was too through. Omar just didn’t get it and he probably never would. “I’m sitting with the man who broke our marriage up, and yes, he is the same one who will prevent us from getting back together.” As she finished her statement she signaled to the waitress for the check.
“Jordan, you can’t be willing to throw us away like that,” Omar said.
“Why not? You were,” she said as her voice began to crack.
She didn’t want to hurt Omar—it was actually more painful for her than it was for him. It was the last thing that she wanted to do, but Omar really didn’t see what he had done to her, and she refused to take it easy on him because he didn’t take it easy on her. So once the check came, she paid it and she was ready to go. She hoped that Omar didn’t think she was being rude, but he wouldn’t understand where she was coming from. It could have been anyone who was “that someone.” What Omar had to realize is that he caused this. She just knew that he probably wouldn’t, and no matter what she said or did, he was going to be upset with her. Just like most men—he didn’t miss a good thing until it was gone.
80
No Place Like Home
It had been different for the past week or so. Keith would call Chrasey once or twice during the day to say hello, or to ask if she needed him to bring anything home. He would pick up the kids for her some days; when he came home he would give them all hugs and kisses. She definitely did see the difference. It was a little odd knowing that it wasn’t all natural, but it was a good start. What Chrasey enjoyed the most was when they would sit down to eat dinner, they would all talk—her, him, and the kids. They would talk about school and work, and different places and things they wanted to do together. She felt like they were a family again.
She was starting to get over all the thoughts of what he was like when he was with Lourdes—that would only damper her mood. She started to just focus on what they were doing, and try to trust that he really wasn’t with Lourdes anymore. Trust is a hard thing to regain, you never know where the line is that separates trust from just being stupid. It’s like trust is that one thing that is the most vulnerable between two people as it is, so when it’s tainted in any way, it’s almost impossible to regain it fully, because it was never quite full to begin with. She did know that trust was what you made of it. Trust came with faith more so than trust in the one you’re with. Faith to leave it in God’s hands, to live your life and hope for the best.
Chrasey was well aware that this was probably not the end for her and Keith; they had a lot more turmoil and stress to come, and they were just at a temporary standstill. Lourdes would soon stir up more trouble, and there would come a time when her kids and Lourdes’s daughter may have to meet. Her and Keith’s future was going to be filled with reminders of this time in their marriage and there was no use trying to escape it. The best they could do was try to move past it.
It had been forever since she and Keith had had sex, but they finally even crossed that bridge. The other night they were lying in bed, and they both seemed to feel more comfortable next to each other. Their legs had touched and they didn’t move them. Then, before she knew it, he had scooted to her side of the bed. Her first impulse was disgust—she still felt a lot of anger toward him, and she didn’t want him to touch her in that way. When he put his arm around her, though, she closed her eyes and tried to remember when she’d yearned for him to cuddle with her in the bed. She tried to remember that he was trying to change. She hadn’t been with Trevor in months, and she could have used the maintenance, anyway. So when she felt him going for it, she let him go. It was more like making love—he took his time with everything. It had been a while, so it felt like something new and she enjoyed every minute of it. She worked very hard to keep all the negative and angry thoughts out of her head so that she could get through it. She was seriously considering making him wear a condom, but she knew that would ruin the whole mood. It wasn’t to be mean, but she didn’t know what really went down between him and Lourdes, and she knew she’d used protection with Trevor. Still, she figured if he didn’t try to make her feel dirty for her affair by putting one on, she shouldn’t make a big deal and make him do it, so she let it go. By the time it was over, she really did think it helped them break down a barrier between them. They had been husband and wife and had sex only three times all year—it was crazy to be able to count. She didn’t have an orgasm, but that would have been too much to ask for the first time around—one step at a time. It felt nice to go to sleep afterward without feeling guilty, the way she used to sometimes when she slept with Trevor. The next morning he was as sweet as pie. She didn’t know if it was because he was backed up and last night did him wonders, or he was just trying really hard to get them back on track. Either way, she went along with it; she did her part to keep their house cheerful. He had cooked breakfast and brought it to Chrasey in bed—then he crawled in next to her and started watching television with her. He asked her what she wanted to see—he didn’t just turn to his sports stuff. She really started to like what life was like at home. They had been at odds for so long, she forgot about how cute and mushy a marriage could be. She didn’t know how long it would last, but it finally felt good to be home.
81
Don’t Wait Up
Dakota didn’t know what had changed his mind, or what made him decide to finally shut her up and make her happy. Tony had come by with a few bags and said that he was going to spend a lot more time at Dakota’s place. He said he wasn’t moving in, but he would spend a lot more nights with her.
He got to her place at about 8:00 with three shopping bags of clothes and placed them by the door. She sat on the couch and he sat right beside her. He explained to her what his intentions were and that he wanted to be around more during her pregnancy. It felt like a practical joke, because it was too good to be true. He said he would leave some things in the closet so he could spend some nights there and leave from there in the morning. He said he wasn’t ready to move in, and he owned too much property of his own to be living with somebody else. He also mentioned that maybe one day she could sell her condo and come move into one of his places, but that was maybe one day.
She didn’t know what had gotten into him, and he really didn’t explain. This was one of those things she didn’t want to mess up, so she didn’t ask many questions. She did thank him though, for trying, and she let him know that he was welcome there any night of the week. She had already told Tony early on that she wasn’t going to be dealing with any other men while she was pregnant. She just thought that was the tackiest thing a woman could do, be pregnant and be out there fooling around with different men. So he was already aware that he wouldn’t be messing up her groove—it was too late for that. Besides, she thought it was obvious to Tony that if he was ever willing to settle down, she would have no problem retiring her player card as well. Now that she
had a child on the way, it was probably going to get revoked anyway.
She was tempted to ask, what about Jonelle? Is she OK with this, are you trying to piss her off? Is she going to be pissed if and when she finds out? She decided to just mind her business and not say anything to ruin this. Honestly, she really didn’t care how Jonelle felt about it. As long as Dakota was getting hers, Jonelle could have hers. She wasn’t hating. She just didn’t want to have to be bothered with Jonelle calling her house or starting that jealous girlfriend stuff, especially now that she was aware of Dakota.
After they finished talking, they went into the bedroom to put his things away. He brought a toothbrush, a du rag, three pairs of sweatpants, some wife beaters and white T-shirts, two button-ups, two pairs of slacks, and a few pairs of jeans. He brought socks and boxers; his Timberlands, Gucci loafers, and a pair of sneakers. It looked like Tony was really serious. Dakota knew that even the nights he didn’t stay, just having his things there would make her feel like he would be coming home and she wouldn’t feel so lonely.
He had promised to spend at least a few nights a week with her, and though it wasn’t permanent, Dakota was happy with what she could get. Besides, in Dakota’s mind she had to take things one step at a time. It started as fucking buddies, then they started dating. Things got a little more serious, there were some public appearances, and then they ended up planning for a baby. Now they were semi-living together; Dakota felt at this rate, their future looked mighty bright.
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