“Julia,” he groaned as I sucked him to the back of my throat. It only spurned me to take him deeper, until I was gagging around his thickness. He tried to pull back but I wouldn’t let him. I followed him down, desperate to take every inch of him, to show him I would, that I could do anything for him.
He fisted his hands in my hair. “You have to stop, Julia. I want to—I need—”
“Do it.” I leaned back and looked at him. “Fuck my face, baby. Do it.” I met him with challenging eyes. He’d wanted it that day in my bedroom, but he’d held back because he was afraid of hurting me.
His hands shook in my hair. “I can’t.”
“You will.”
He closed his eyes and I saw a tick in his jaw. “I wanted to show you there was more to my feelings for you than just this. Sex.”
I smiled up at him, my hand wrapped firmly around the base of his dick. “I know you love me.” I licked my lips. “And now I want you to force your cock down my throat. I want you to make me take it.”
His jaw went slack. “Are—” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Are you sure? Even after…”
I blinked at him in confusion. He really thought I wouldn’t want him after this, after hearing the truth about what happened?
“I want you more than I did before. I don’t care what you did, so long as you never stop loving me.”
Something soft twisted across his irises before he clenched his jaw shut. I didn’t wait for another cue. I sucked him back into my throat, loving every single thick inch of him as I explored him with my tongue. I swallowed him whole, gagging over and over on his long length, until he was moaning and bucking beneath me wildly. His hands in my hair, forcing me to take all of him over and over until he cried out my name and pumped his cum into my throat, making me swallow every drop.
And when it was over, I looked up at him. I stared into the eyes of the man who loved me, and I hoped he could see my love reflecting back.
NINETEEN
Julia.
One month later
Time seemed to blur together, moving slowly and quickly all at once. Something changed between Cole and I that night he told me the truth. We became more. We became the two missing puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. Nothing mattered. Nothing outside the little bubble we created around ourselves.
The threat of a murderer was pushed to the back of my head. Worries about all of it faded into the background and I was completely immersed in Cole and Cole alone. We stayed in New York and when he wasn’t working we were out exploring the city, going to shows, to hockey games. I let myself pretend we were normal, that everything was right as rain, and it was easy to do. Men in black suits surrounded us every second of every day and their presence kept us safe.
My phone calls to Gran didn’t focus on my fear anymore, but of the things Cole and I did and the big city we gallivanted about. I hadn’t even talked to Vic. I knew he had called Cole several times, and surprisingly enough Cole offered me the phone each time. Each time, I declined. I didn’t want to think about my best friend. I didn’t want to hear him tell me I was stupid for being there with Cole. I wanted nothing but happiness, and Cole gave me that. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy.
“You almost ready, baby?” Cole called from the bedroom. I glanced at myself in the mirror and smiled. I was going to put on a show for him tonight. Amidst all the fun we were having out on the town, it didn’t even begin to describe the fun we were having at his penthouse. We’d had sex more times than I could count, in every position, in every room. And tonight I was going to strip for him. I had a tiny little nightgown on that pushed my breasts up until they were practically bursting from the fabric.
“Patience is a virtue.” I smirked at myself and applied a final coat of mascara to my eyelashes.
“If you aren’t out here in two minutes, I’m coming in there,” he growled from just outside the door.
“Hey, you better not! That’s what you did last time.” Last time flashed into my head. I hadn’t been quick enough so he’d come in, stark naked, his cock stiff and his eyes blazing with hunger. We hadn’t made it to the bed. The pretty little nightgown I’d planned to sexily strip off while I danced around him had been torn from my body haphazardly while he fucked me on the bathroom counter.
“You didn’t seem to mind.” He chuckled.
I rolled my eyes at my reflection, but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
Cole’s phone started ringing on the countertop next my box of make-up, and I jumped at the noise. Randy’s name illuminated the screen. I smiled and snatched up the phone. I had just seen him a few hours ago when Cole and I went out to dinner. I understood their friendship more now. Cole had admitted to meeting him while he was in prison; Randy had helped him out of the fucked-up mindset killing his brother had put him into.
I had liked Randy when I just thought he was the elevator guy in my building, but after learning more about him, it made me love him as a close friend.
“What do you want?” I said teasingly.
“Put Cole on the phone.”
I frowned at his stern tone. “What?”
“Put him on.”
The bathroom door opened and Cole stepped inside wearing nothing but white boxer briefs. I would have drooled a little if I wasn’t so thrown off by Randy’s demand. He had been relatively easy-going the last few weeks, sometimes coming into the penthouse and watching TV with us when he was off duty.
“Who is it?” Cole asked.
“Randy.” I held out the phone to him.
He pressed it to his ear. “Yeah.”
I could hear the rumble of Randy’s voice on the other end. Cole was completely silent as he stood there listening. I watched him closely for a reaction, my heart thudding in an awkward half-skip in my chest.
“They’re certain?”
Randy seemed to speak even faster on the other end.
“But—”
Cole stopped and listened more.
“Okay.” He pulled the phone away from his face and pressed end.
“What did he say? Is everything okay?”
Cole stared at me intently, seeming to search me for something. I didn’t miss the look of dread that washed over his face.
“Cole?” I touched my hands to his chest. “Tell me what it is.”
“They found Kevin.”
I was certain my eyes bugged out of my head. “What? Really?” Relief washed over me. “That’s great news!” Cole ran a hand through his hair. “Why do you look so upset about it, it’s a good thing!”
“He’s dead, Julia.”
I sucked in a breath and stepped back. “What? But—”
“A farmer came across his body yesterday while he was out surveying his land. They were just able to get an ID on him today.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” I ran a shaky hand over my face. “He killed himself, then?” It was the only explanation, and suddenly it all made sense. Kevin had killed himself because of the things he had done. He was a bad man, but he had a conscience somewhere inside him, no matter how small.
“No.”
I glanced up and met Cole’s gaze. “No?”
“He’s been dead for over month,” Cole said slowly.
“A month. But he’s been miss—” I stopped and sucked in a jagged breath of air. “Before or after Mandi?” Panic roiled inside me at the look on Cole’s face.
“Coroner put the time of death between nine and ten o’clock on August third and—”
“Mandi died a few hours later, after midnight on the fourth.” Reality slammed into me like a freight train and I slid down on the floor, my back bumping awkwardly against the bathroom cabinets. Kevin hadn’t been missing. He hadn’t gone into hiding after killing Mandi. He hadn’t written the bloody message on the wall. He hadn’t done any of those things, because he was already dead in the middle of a field somewhere.
I thought I would cry, but I didn’t have any tear
s left. Instead I took five or six deep breaths and looked at Cole who was crouched down in front of me now. There were a million questions flying around in my mind, but I didn’t know which one to ask or what to say.
“How?”
“He was stabbed.”
I tried to imagine him like that. In the middle of a field, his body cold. A body I had once loved.
“What does this mean?” I asked after that sank in.
“I…I don’t know…but I’m sorry.” The last words seemed hard for him to utter, and I wondered why he was apologizing before I realized he was giving me his condolences for Kevin.
So, I need them? Am I sad? I thought about it for a moment before deciding that I wasn’t. Not really. I didn’t have tears left for the man who had abused me. I felt relieved, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, only to be replaced with another, heavier one.
After all the years, all the time, all the tears, he was finally gone. But why? Why was he gone? Who was doing this?
I stared into Cole’s eyes and searched for the answer, but he looked as lost as me.
“Elaine did this,” I said as we climbed out of the limo at my apartment building. The big structure loomed before us, lit only by dim streetlights. I was glad to be home, even if it was four in the morning under shitty circumstances. A warm breeze whipped around us and I reveled in it.
“She’s the only person that makes sense in all this,” I added.
He snagged my hand in his as we headed toward the lobby doors. At least ten men in suits were scattered around us.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” I sighed dramatically. “Don’t start with this whole Elaine is innocent act. I think I will throw up if I have to listen to it again.”
“I’ll hold your hair.” The faintest hint of a grin spread across his lips.
“You’re going to make a joke now?” I half-heartedly punched his arm. “When we’re talking about the person who wants to murder me, your ex.”
The smile left his face and we passed through the revolving front doors and into the lobby. “We’re missing something.”
“What do you mean?”
We climbed on the elevator; Randy and another guard named John climbed on with us. “Something else has to be going on. Someone killed Kevin on purpose so we would think he was on the run for killing Mandi.”
I nodded. We had talked about as much while we were on the plane. “But who would go to that much trouble?” I didn’t give him time to think it over before answering my own question. “Elaine. Do you remember her face when we were in that room with Jay? She was terrified, scared. She knew him. She hired him to kill me. And I don’t care that everyone thinks she didn’t do it. Now that Kevin is gone she has to be the one. It couldn’t have been your mother.” In spite of all that shit she had done to Cole when he was a kid, I just knew she wasn’t involved in this fucked-up situation—call it intuition or even stupidity. I didn’t care either way. She loved Cole and she didn’t want him dead, that much I believed.
“It could still be her,” he said as we stepped off the elevator. “Just because she told you she loved me, doesn’t mean anything. She could still want you dead.”
I chewed my lips. Cole was right, but I didn’t like it. It made me feel uncertain, and right now all I wanted in my life was a little certainty. We approached the door to my apartment as two of Cole’s men flanked the door, and I was surprised to hear the loud thump of music on the other side.
“Vic and Chris are still here?” I had expected they’d gone back to New York at some point over the last month.
“Yes.” Cole’s jaw was clenched tightly.
“Why?”
“Fuck if I know.”
The music was even louder once I opened the door. It was some sort of Britney Spears electronica mix. Chris was dancing in the middle of the living room with none other than the devil herself, Elaine. I sucked in a breath at the sight of her in my space, her feet bare, her dark hair swinging back and forth as she moved her hips from side to side. Vic sat on the flower-print couch, staring at them with a blank expression, clutching a beer.
“What’s going on?”
Vic noticed us first and jumped to his feet. “Jewel!” He rushed over and threw his arms around me. The scent of beer and cigarette smoke surrounded me. “You’re okay! Thank God you’re okay.” He pulled back and glanced down at where my hand clasped Cole’s. “Really?” He glanced between us. Cole stood perfectly still next to me, wearing one of those expressions that promised death.
I hadn’t considered they would come face to face again, at least not so soon.
“You’re still here.” I stated the obvious.
A sneer covered his lips. “Yup. Still here, Jewel.”
The music cut off and I glanced over at Chris and Elaine, both of whom were staring at us.
“What is she doing here?” I directed my question at Vic.
“She came by looking for Cole, so we invited her in to hang out,” he slurred. Elaine’s mouth tipped up into that arrogant smile she was famous for.
“It’s four in the morning. You know that right?”
“What are we, grandparents? Haven’t you ever pulled an all-nighter before?” Elaine snorted.
I let go of Cole’s hand and marched over to her. She wore a tiny yellow dress that barely covered the tops of her thighs. “It’s probably good that you’re here, because you have a lot to answer for.” The image of Mandi popped into my head and merged with Jay’s smirk as he loomed over me holding the knife that forever scarred me.
“Answer for? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I know you did this.”
“Jewel, chill out, Elaine didn’t do—”
“Shut up, Chris,” I snapped. “This doesn’t have anything to do with you.” I stared down into Elaine’s gaze. She was a little shorter than me.
A slow grin spread across her face. “You still think I’m the one who cut your pretty neck, don’t you? Jennifer told me about how you were so sure it was me. I thought you would have realized how wrong you are by now.”
“It’s not wrong.” I took a step toward her. “What kind of person smiles when they’re confronted with murder?”
I heard voices behind me, Cole’s voice was one of them, but I ignored it and focused on Elaine.
“I’m smiling because it’s fucking ridiculous. You know who did it. It was that stupid, hick ex-boyfriend of yours.”
“Kevin is dead.”
“What?” Chris asked, sounding shocked.
“Yes.” I didn’t even look at him, keeping my glare on Elaine. “He died over a month ago, hours before Mandi did.”
“You have to be kidding…” Chris said. I glanced at him. He had his long hair pulled back in a ponytail as he ran his hand over his face. “They found his body? Where?”
“He was in some field somewhere between here and Sunder.”
“Fuck…that’s terrible. Are you okay?” His green eyes showed concern.
“I’m fine,” I muttered.
“Well, I didn’t do any of this shit,” Elaine added.
“Then why are you here?”
“I wanted to talk to Cole and I knew he would probably be here, shoved up your ass like always. Plus, I wanted to show him what he’s been missing, and believe me—” She winked. “I know he’s been missing it.”
Before I realized what was happening, I had Elaine pinned to the ground and was swinging my fist at her face. “He’s mine, you stupid bitch!” I got one hit in before she gripped my wrist with one of her hands. I swung at her with my other one, but she twisted away at the last second. “And now you’re gonna pay for everything you’ve done.” I managed to twist one of my wrists out of her grasp, but before I could swing at her again, she raked her long, red nails down my chest, slicing my skin open. I cried out in pain, just as someone’s arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me off her.
Then I noticed the commotion behind
me. Cole and Vic were faced off and Vic’s lip was bleeding.
“You think you can just do whatever you want with what’s mine?” he asked. “You think you can fuck around with my girl on my fucking stage?”
“She’s not yours!” Vic hissed.
“No, stop!” Chris ran forward and got between the two men. “You’re drunk, Vic. You don’t want to get your ass kicked.”
“I’m not drunk, you dick.” He tried to shove Chris out of the way but stumbled to the side instead.
“Yes, you are.” Chris stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Vic, but again, Vic shoved him away and stumbled toward their bedroom.
“Fuck all of you.” He slammed the door behind him.
Chris sighed and followed after him.
“Well, I’m getting out of here. You guys are so fucking dramatic,” Elaine huffed, pushing her matted hair out of her face.
“You’re not going anywhere.” I stepped between her and the door.
“She’s right.” Cole stepped up beside me. “Why did you come here in the first place?”
She tossed me a glare filled with malice and rubbed the cheek I’d punched. “I’ve been calling you and you haven’t answered. And I got this.” She stepped over to the couch, snatched up a black clutch, and pulled out a piece of paper.
“I thought you came here to see if Cole missed you.” I sneered. “Or maybe you came here to finish the job? That’s what it was, right? You wanted to kill me off so you could have him.” The idea made sense. It bounced around my head until I wanted to fucking punch her lights out.
“Where did you get this?”
I jerked my gaze away and glanced at the paper.
I can’t make him love me. But you can make him love you. Do it before it gets him killed.
“What the hell?” I all but shrieked. “What the fuck does that mean? Who is sending this shit?” Panic bubbled up inside me. I sucked in a deep breath, but it didn’t help. “Y-you made this up. You wrote that note.” I pointed my finger at Elaine.
She shook her head. “I didn’t. I don’t need a fucking fake death threat to get my man back.”
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