Lauren stood with her fingers on her lips, his kiss still lingering as she stood there letting his words sink in. Tying up loose ends. Selling his condo. Resigning. Staying.
He was staying. Here. For good.
The thought that he’d flee back to his old life in New York had been hanging over her head since the moment she saw him in the ER. Hearing him say that he was leaving that part of his life behind, eased some of her insecurities about Connor walking away. This whole time, she’d doubted him at every turn, because of their past, even though he’d done nothing to deserve her mistrust so far.
Closing that chapter in New York gave her the hope she was looking for.
Maybe she really could let him in and they could make it work after all. He’d said he would be gone for few weeks. She could use that time to get herself together and figure out what she really wanted. She owed Connor that much.
With a newfound energy, she climbed into her car and headed to work.
Sitting down at the nurses’ station, Lauren checked the clock. Her shift should have ended an hour ago. There was no way she’d make it to school to pick up Eliot now. Thanks to the trauma patient that arrived just before she could clock out, she still had charting to do before she could leave. She texted Amy asking for help, and then logged onto the computer to start her notes.
Amy replied a few minutes later:
A: Here now getting Jason and Avery. I’ll get him too. No worries. See you at my house when you get off. No rush. Have dinner with us tonight. I’ve got plenty of extras. Love ya!
Lauren breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that her best friend had things under control.
When she walked through Amy’s door three hours later, she was relieved to find the boys playing together while Amy sat nearby with a glass of wine in her hand.
“Get in here. Riley went to put Adalyn down. She’s extra fussy today. He should back in second to keep an eye on the boys while we eat dinner and catch up.”
“You didn’t have to wait for me to eat.” Lauren sat at the kitchen table and sipped at the glass of water Amy had waiting for her.
“I know that, but I wanted to.” Amy slid a plate over to her friend before taking her own seat and digging in. After they ate a few bites, she pointed her fork at Lauren and demanded, “Now spill about what’s going on with Connor. Do. Not. Tell. Me. Nothing. I know you better than that. Something is going on, and you’ve kept it from me for over a week. Don’t think I haven’t noticed his lack of presence at your house, or the fact that your car has barely moved. Start talking.”
“I really hate the fact that you are so observant,” Lauren teased before pouring her heart out.
“He says he’s resigning, selling his condo, and staying in Millford. He said that was always the plan, he just hadn’t gotten to tying up all the loose ends.”
Amy sat and listened, not muttering a word until Lauren had finished talking. Her silence made Lauren nervous. It wasn’t often that Amy didn’t have anything to say.
“Well…that certainly is...something.” Amy paused. “You know I love you, right?”
Lauren knew her best friend was about to offer up her two cents, and it wouldn’t be pretty. “Yeah, I know, Ames.”
“Good. Now that that’s out of the way…” Amy smirked. “I know your heart has been through hell. And I know Connor has fucked up before. I was there, holding your hand when the shit hit the fan. But don’t you think it’s time to let go of the past? All I’ve seen is a man trying to win you over. Honestly, I’ve never seen you happier. My question is, why the hell did you say yes if you still had doubts?”
“Maybe he shouldn’t have asked me in front of everyone,” Lauren shrugged, answering weakly.
“Still doesn’t answer my question. Have you talked with Maureen about it?”
Lauren sighed at the mention of her therapist.
“You did and she agrees with me,” Amy filled in the blanks.
Lauren wiped away the stray tear that began rolling down her face, cursing her emotions for getting the best of her again. “You’re not wrong.” She sighed. “What if he breaks my heart again? I don’t think I could live with the heartache. I barely survived the first time.”
Fear had controlled her for so long, and it was that fear of being alone which made her settle for Kyle. Fear of losing Eliot often made her overbearing and overprotective. Fear of heartbreak had her pushing Connor away. Fear of losing another baby, of finding love, of losing love. She was terrified of it all.
“What if he never breaks your heart again? At this point, he’s going to be in your life forever regardless of your relationship status. Might as well take full advantage of it and let yourself fall in love with him again.” Amy nudged Lauren’s shoulder and smiled. “Plus, he’s still sexy as hell, and I bet, judging by your current state, he’s still packing.”
Throwing back her head, Lauren laughed loudly. “Oh God, Amy! You did not just say that.”
Amy winked. “Not my type, but I’ve still got eyes.”
“What if I never really fell out of love with him? I loved Kyle—I did—but not the way I love Connor.”
“And I think my work here is done.” Amy brushed her hands together dramatically. “It’s about time you were honest with yourself and Connor.”
Connor checked his phone for the millionth time since he’d left Lauren. He had hoped she would call or send him a text message. Something, anything. However, other than a million business calls, his phone had not rung once. He thought they’d had the tiniest of breakthroughs after her doctor’s appointment, but now he wondered if he had read the situation wrong. Maybe they hadn’t gotten anywhere at all.
On day three of radio silence, he gave in and dialed her number. His call went to voicemail, and his hand twitched as he resisted the urge to call Amy or Riley to check on her. Instead, he kept waiting. Once a week had passed, his phone rang, and Lauren’s name appeared on the screen.
“Princess,” he answered almost breathlessly, his heart caught in his throat. “You okay? I haven’t heard from you, and I wanted to check on you.”
“Yeah, I’m good.” Connor thought he heard the tiniest bit of annoyance in her voice. “Really tired. I thought it would get better after the first trimester, but the further along I get, the more exhausted I feel.”
Rubbing the familiar ache in his chest, Connor suggested, “Maybe you should cut back your hours at work to rest more?”
“I can’t do that,” she snapped at him, annoyed that he would even assume she could change her work schedule. “I’ve got bills to pay, a child to take care of, and one more on the way. The mortgage on my house doesn’t pay itself either.” She heard him take a deep breath on the other end of the phone, and could picture him pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. She was willing to bet she had managed to upset him again.
“You know, I thought we were past the stage in our relationship where you had to carry the burden on your own,” he barked, frustrated that he still hadn’t managed to make his intentions clear enough for to her. “Why don’t you understand that I want more than anything to take care of you and Eliot? And please don’t even get me started about the baby. Lauren, I have every intention of supporting them, even if you and I aren’t together.”
“I’m sorry, Connor,” she apologized, feeling bad for riling him up again. “I promised myself I’d work on getting my head together while you were gone, and yet, we’re still running in circles.”
“What are you telling me? You still haven’t figured out exactly what you want?” Anger bubbled under the surface.
“No…yes…I don’t know! Damn it! Connor, I want you. I want to make it work,” she rushed.
“I’m overwhelmed and scared.”
Connor felt like he had whiplash from Lauren’s emotions, but he couldn’t fight back the tiniest of smiles hearing her admit she wanted him. “All you have to do is say the word, Princess, and I’m yours. I’m waiting on you to quit running scared.”<
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“When will you be back?” she sighed, resigned to the fact that she was giving in to him. Giving in to what she really wanted in her life.
He leaned forward in his chair to check his desk calendar. “I should be home the middle of next week. Unless you need me there sooner.”
“No. Come find me when you get home. I’ll be here, and we can talk then.”
Their goodbyes said, Connor tossed his phone onto his desk and ran a hand through his hair. Silently, he prayed that she wouldn’t change her mind again before he got home.
The night before he was supposed to go home, Connor boxed up his office and took the check from his dad’s company to the bank. He had officially resigned from his position as lead architect, only choosing to remain on the executive board, which thankfully, most of those responsibilities could be handled remotely. He’d only see New York quarterly, unless he came back to visit his family or was needed for whatever reason.
Now he was signing his name on the dotted line and handing over the keys to the condo that he’d had since college. It was the first thing he could call his. A sign of his success. At the time, that condo felt like a defining moment in his life. Funny thing was that he didn’t feel sad leaving it behind. Instead, he was hopeful about what he was moving forward to.
Telling his parents goodbye, his first night back in town, proved to be a mixed lot. His father, Bill, was happy for him and took the time to make sure that when Connor walked away from his position within the company, he’d still be financially secure. He was pleased that Connor would be taking care of his grandmother’s house—the same house they had both grown up in.
His mother, Rachel, was a different story. She was livid that Connor chose Millford over the life that she wanted for him in New York. His parents never knew about the child Connor and Lauren had lost, and she wasn’t thrilled about the grandchild that was on the way. It also didn’t help matters that she hated Lauren. Rachel made it clear that she thought it was only a trap, reminding Connor that they moved him to New York to get him away from her ‘before she could ruin his life.’
The argument with his mother when he had told them his plans to move to Millford, still lingered on his mind…
“Ruin my life? Are you serious, Mom?”
“She’s always been after our money, Connor. You’re just too blind to see it!” his mother accused.
“That’s pretty damn funny. If you only had a clue as to what she has been through. She works full time as a nurse and makes enough money to take care of herself. The last thing she wants is for me to help her out financially. Believe me, we’ve fought about it enough.”
“You belong here!” she told him with all the authority she could muster.
Connor turned to his father.
“Rachel, he belongs wherever he’s happy.” His father pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
“Mark my words, son, she’s going to take you for all you’re worth. You’ll regret it.” Rachel threw her hands in the air as she stomped away.
“She’ll come around,” his dad offered.
“Doesn’t matter if she does or doesn’t. It’s her decision. If she can’t accept my choices, she won’t see me again. I won’t allow her to disrespect the woman I love, the mother of my child.” Connor growled, his body shaking with fury.
“I know, son. Give it time.” Bill patted his shoulder. “Have a safe trip back, and check in with your old man once in a while.”
“I will, Dad.” Connor hugged his father and walked out of their house.
After the blowup with his mom, he was grateful that he had opted for dinner at their house instead of at one of the fancy restaurants his mother often preferred.
Connor hit the highway with a renewed sense of who he was as a man. Never in his life had he been more certain that he had made the right choice this time around than he was now that he travelled toward Millford, to Lauren.
Turning off the road and making the way up his driveway a few hours later, a wide grin lit his face. Lauren stood on his front porch with Eliot, waiting for him. The kid appeared to have grown four feet since Connor had last seen him. While he was gone, Lauren’s belly had grown too, not that he’d ever tell her that. The mere sight of her belly expanding from their child growing inside her tugged at his heartstrings.
“I’ve missed you so much, Connor. And I’m sorry.” Lauren was by his side the minute he opened his car door.
He picked her up off the ground like she weighed next to nothing and spun her around. “I’ve missed you too, Princess. No more running from me, okay?” She nodded and he placed a kiss on her cheek. “Eliot?” He called out to the boy who still stood on the porch with his head hung low.
Eliot reluctantly made his way to Connor. “You left us,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Eliot, we talked about this. Connor didn’t leave us. We had some things to work through and I needed some space,” she reminded him. Eliot’s cold shoulder toward Connor made Lauren feel terrible. She was guilty for the ill feelings her son was harboring toward the man she loved. Even after she tried to explain the situation to him, letting him know that Connor still wanted to be a part of his life, her son still felt abandoned.
Connor cleared his throat, unsure of what to say or do. It seemed as if he would have to start over with Eliot to gain his trust again. Knowing the boy likely felt betrayed and abandoned, hurt. He wanted to be angry with Lauren, because she kept him from being there for Eliot during their time apart. Hell, he should be angry with her, but he resigned himself to the fact that they would never move forward if he couldn’t let some things go and move on. Plus, if he laid the blame solely on her—where it rightly belonged—he didn’t know how Eliot would react.
“Okay love birds. If you don’t mind, I’m starving here. How about y’all get inside so we can eat.”
Connor’s head snapped up at the sound of Bryce’s voice. “What the hell?”
“I had some free time. I figured I’d crash here for a few days instead of staying on base since there wasn’t anything going on,” his cousin explained.
Connor laughed. What were the odds that he’d come home to his woman waiting, only for Bryce to crash the party?
Lauren shrugged with a grin pulling her lips upwards. “I figured the least he could do is cook for us tonight. Then I’ve got another surprise for you after that.”
Fighting the mix of emotions running wild inside, Connor forced a smile and followed everyone into the house. It felt good to be home….finally.
Connor took a bite of the mashed potatoes Bryce had cooked. The gravy smothered on top took him back to all the Sunday dinners they’d spent at this very table. A smile spread across his face at one of his many memories.
“Boys, time to eat. Lauren, Amy, Riley, y’all get in here too. I’ve got plenty,” his grandmother called out.
Knowing they should heed her warning, everyone jumped up at once and rushed into the house. Taking turns in the half bathroom off the kitchen, they all washed up and joined Gram in the dining room. Food was spread out around the table and there were place settings for each of them. Bryce, home on a break from the Army, led the grace before they all dug in.
Connor watched his grandmother grin from ear to ear as they all shared a piece of their day with her. Lauren sat across from him and sent nervous smiles his way during the entire meal.
After dinner, they all helped to clean up before heading back outside to watch the stars while they waited for one of Gram’s delicious desserts to finish baking.
Connor may have been too young to fully appreciate all those times back then, but these were moments that remained etched in his mind.
Eliot’s unease did not carry over to Bryce, who got the boy chatting eagerly about everything Connor had missed during his absence. Bryce also asked Connor about how things went in New York, and occasionally a comfortable silence fell between everyone in the room.
Lauren and Connor sat side by side. More than once, t
heir legs would touch or their hands would brush against one another. Each time, Lauren would blush a little, a shy smile on her lips.
This was how he once envisioned his life, except for one thing: Lauren’s bare ring finger.
After dinner, Bryce quickly made an excuse about having somewhere to be. “Don’t wait up,” he laughed as he bolted out the door, leaving Connor and Lauren to clean up.
“So…” Lauren hesitated as she placed the last dish in the dishwasher. “I wondered if you could please take Eliot and I back to my place?”
He tried to fight back his apprehensions, but when he pulled into her small driveway, the For Sale sign took his breath away. Turning toward the passenger seat, he gaped at Lauren, trying to find answers in her eyes. For an instant, he panicked, worried she decided to leave when he had made the decision to stay.
“I’ve done some thinking,” she whispered, “and you’ve made yourself pretty clear. So, if you’ll still have us…” her hands shook with nervousness as she reached for Connor’s hand.
Connor immediately noticed her engagement ring encircled her left ring finger once again. Relief flooded him as he realized that she was asking him for another chance. Taking a moment to let it all sink in, he relaxed, leaning back against the driver’s seat and exhaled. Without thinking twice, he responded, “Today and every day, Princess. You don’t even have to ask.” Squeezing her hand that still gripped his, he pulled her toward him and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.
Connor spied Eliot sleeping in the back seat and grinned. “Let’s get him inside so I can show you how much all of this means to me.”
Lauren waited in the doorway of her bedroom while Connor carried Eliot’s sleeping body to bed and tucked him in. She reached for his hand when he made his way toward her, tugging him inside her bedroom and quietly closing the door behind her, flipping the lock into place.
Take Back My Heart (Come Back To Me) Page 12