by P J Gilbers
I heard as I walked down the hall.
“Damn! That didn’t work. Woman’s gonna be the death of me.”
I grinned. I held the key in my fist. Sam’s house.
I went to bed in the black and white room.
I fell asleep immediately.
“Lilith, my Lilith, I am coming for you.” I woke feeling a scream coming out of my mouth. My heart was pounding and my muscles would not move.
“Where are you?”
“Remember…remember. I want you again my Lilith. You will bear my child this time…take your clothes off now, I am going to….I will take pieces of you, in my mouth, delicious. You’re going to bear my son. I’ll take you…I’ll keep you…feel my knife now? Feel it, my Lilith? Of course you do…Sweet blood, such sweet blood, my Lilith…”
I screamed and ran downstairs to Jack. I shook him awake.
“He’s here…he’s in my room…he’s in my room!”
He picked up the phone.
“Okay. Security’s going to check out your room.”
“Get up! He’s here.”
I ran to the kitchen and found the biggest knives and ran back to him.
His phone rang.
“Sam, there’s no one here. You probably had a dream.”
“No. It was him. I was awake. It was Welsh. Please…”
I cried so hard my teeth rattled.
“Come here, Sam. Put the knives down. Sleep with me. You’re safe.”
“Don’t patronize me. He was here.”
“Did you see him?”
“No. Just his voice.”
He called Roger and told him what had happened.
“Tomorrow. A full sweep. Maybe we need to look at everyone coming into this house. See if there’s something we’ve missed.” He hung up.
“I’ll call Silverman in the morning.”
I rolled over facing Tonto.
“That may not be a good idea. He may take me away.”
“I won’t let him.”
He put his arm over me and nuzzled my neck.
“I want you to stay right here with me.”
“What do you think it was?”
“Might be that someone within our ranks is helping the bastard to scare you.”
“He sure did a mighty fine job.”
“I can’t sleep. I don’t want to sleep. He told me everything he’s going to do to me. And…he wants to make babies. Sons of Satan. He wants to keep me, Jack. He’s going to cut out pieces of me and eat them…and he’s going to keep me. I wish I had died the first time. I can’t take this. ‘Can’t do this.”
“Shh shh. Lay down with me. I’m so glad you lived. I want you right here, need you right here. Nothing’s going to happen. Too many people watching. Now tell me something.”
“What?”
He thought. “What our wedding will be like.”
“Our wedding.”
“Yup, big-assed Hollywood wedding. And you will be so amazingly beautiful…tell me about your dress.”
“White.”
“You’re not getting into this.”
“I can’t imagine it.”
“Beautiful white satin dress. Strapless. Bare, nibbable shoulders. Your hair up with little flowers in it.”
“Sounds oh so nice. A good cake. I love wedding cake.”
“Best cake.”
He kissed me.
“And best of all, the wedding night.” His face touched mine, so loving, so gentle.
“The wedding night.”
“I strip you out of that fantastic dress…”
“…dress. And I’d have a garter belt and a lace-up corset. I’ve always wanted to wear that…”
He moaned and played with my nipple.
“Sweet Sam, marry me. I gotta see you in that garter belt. I gotta take it off you and make love to what’s underneath.”
“So sweet,” I murmured, very sleepy. “You swear I’ll be okay if I go to sleep?”
“Swear. I’ll stay with you all night. And the rest of your life.”
I buried my face in his chest.
“I love you, Jack.” I was dreaming.
“I know. I just wish you’d figure it all out. And marry me.”
“Wedding dress…”
“Beautiful dress…”
“Make love and I won’t be scared.”
“Not scared. Just incredibly hot.”
“I love you so much.”
“I know.”
Saturday
David called at ten.
“I can be there around noon, depending on traffic. Will that work?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“I can’t wait.”
I walked into the den. The flowers and candles were mysteriously missing.
I heard a crash in the bathroom followed by a long stream of cussing.
“Jack?”
“Goddamn!”
I opened the door. The tub bench had tipped and he was halfway on the floor and half in the tub with his ankle bent under him.
“Good Lord!” I turned the water off and got him completely on the floor.
“What happened?”
“Dropped the soap, reached for it, my cast got caught on something and then I fell, in slow motion. It was like I knew I was going down and I couldn’t stop it.”
I started wrapping towels around him, drying him off. He watched, amused.
“Are you hurt?”
“No. Tailbone a little. But I’ll survive.” He started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
“You know, my arms work, I could dry myself off. Of course, if you’d rather.”
I looked at him, suddenly embarrassed.
“Force of habit. Sorry.”
I handed him the towel.
“Most of my patients were frail…fall like that would have put them in the hospital. Need help getting up? It’s slippery.”
“What’s wrong?”
“You’re naked. ‘Never seen you naked. This is awkward.”
He laughed.
“Sorry. Hand me my shorts.”
He slipped them on and I helped him stand up.
Roger and Fritz were standing smiling at us.
“You mean you two were there the whole time?”
“No, not the whole time,” Fritz said.
“Why didn’t you help?”
“It was more fun watching you get embarrassed,” Roger laughed.
“Arrested development, I swear.”
I went to the kitchen where Sarah had left cheese scones on a large plate. I took one and a cup of coffee and went out to the koi pond. Jack followed me.
I went back in the kitchen and got his food and coffee.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“And what shall we do today?”
“I’m going to David’s, at noon.”
The smile dropped from his face.
“I see.”
“Party tonight?”
“Always. Fritz is working on it now.”
“I’ll be back for that. If you like.” I took a bite of my scone.
“Always.”
“You’re making this very difficult…”
“Good.”
“We had such a good time last night.”
“Yes.”
“Your face is making me feel so guilty.”
“Tragic. Must mean you shouldn’t go.”
“’Have to.”
He took my scone from my hand and crushed it.
“You don’t have to, Sam. I’m tired of these games.”
I picked up his scone and stomped on it.
Fritz stood in the doorway smiling.
“You know I can’t lie to you. Look me in the eye. Am I lying? I have to go to David’s.”
He stuck his hand in his coffee and flicked coffee in my face.
“You just think…” he said as I poured my coffee on the top of his head ”…you do,” he sputtered.
&nbs
p; He dipped his empty mug in the koi pond and threw the water on me.
“That’s fish pee, you know.”
I sat down, dripping.
“I’m out of ammunition. I’m getting another shower. And I am going to David’s.”
Fritz handed him a towel.
“I think that went well,” Fritz grinned.
I went upstairs and showered.
It was eleven thirty. I didn’t want to hide but I didn’t want to fight with Jack again, either.
I laughed, thinking about the scones. And the fish pee.
I went downstairs. Jack was sitting in bed with the basketball game on.
“Let’s do some exercises,” I suggested to him.
“You look very sexy,” he was towel drying his hair.
“You’re getting your boot soon, I want your leg as strong as we…”
“Stop, Sam.”
“Stop what?”
“Avoiding.”
“I’m not avoiding…you’re getting your boot. This is why I’m here.”
“Why are you going to David’s?”
“To get an art lesson.”
“You’re lying.”
“Obviously.”
“Sit down.”
I sat at the foot of the bed where he couldn’t reach me.
“I figured it out.”
“What?”
“You’re having sex with him. He’s helping you…to have sex again.”
I stared at the floor.
“Say something.”
I shook my head.
Someone knocked on the door. Fritz answered it.
“I’ll be back for the party.” I bent and kissed him.
"Dad, I really don't want..."
Frank's phone rang and he was grateful. He didn't want to argue with his dad about starting a business with him.
"Oliver! Hey. How are you?"
"Need your help."
"Yes."
"That's it? You don't want the details or me to beg?"
"Nope. Where?"
"San Diego. I have an office. Two apartments in the back. Well, kinda apartments. Five hundred west Broadway."
"Be there tomorrow."
George packed up his things and stretched.
"Finally getting off mommy's couch. Can't wait to get out of here. Let's get to it, Frank. You won't even know what's hit you."
A large man in black pants and a tan shirt was waiting for me. I remembered him from the last trip.
“Mr. Abernathy apologizes for not picking you up. He’s waiting for you, however.”
Traffic crawled. Finally we arrived at David’s. He opened the door wearing jeans and an open Hawaiian shirt.
I gave him a big hug and he handed me a glass of wine.
“I am so glad to see you.”
“I missed you,” he said.
“Tell me about Japan.”
“I am very tall when I go there.”
“What were you there for?”
“Trying to get investors for a three series movie deal. Teenagers, seductive ghosts, evil demon woman, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. All the classics.”
“How did it go?”
“Negotiating with the Japanese is an entirely different experience than what we do. I met with them two weeks ago. The visit was ninety-nine percent social. At an appropriate point I mentioned this movie. The senior investor, Hiroshi, nodded. He didn’t ask for further information.
“But I sent everything I had the next day. This meeting was social but they had completely absorbed the information. They had their questions ready.
“But, you must be patient with the Japanese. My next visit I will probably have a deal. Probably.
“You said the boys were driving you crazy.”
“Yeah. They have all figured out what you and I are doing. First Fritz, then Roger, and then Jack.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Icky.”
He giggled.
“It’s like being naked in front of your high school graduating class. You know like those nightmares that you go to school in your underwear?”
“God, yes.”
He paused.
“Any ideas of what you want to do today?”
“Not a clue.”
He led me in the bedroom, taking his shirt off.
“Clothes.”
I smiled and stripped for him.
“You don’t have any glue and a ruler do you?” he asked.
“How did you know about that?”
“Sam, I am impressed. I am royally impressed. Gluing that prick’s dick to a stick. I’m a poet. I think this will be your last visit—for this purpose,” he said.
“What are we doing today? I’m kind of ….”
“Scared?”
I nodded.
He hugged me.
“Just making love. Nice and slow. And I want you to start thinking about Jack. You love him, you know.”
“But, I…”
“Maybe someday you and I. But right now you’re obviously mad about him.”
He whispered, “only one rule: stop me if you need to.”
His mouth and hands were everywhere. It was going too fast and terror was building.
I didn’t know why.
“Too fast,” I whispered.
“Good, Sammy. Tell me what you want.”
“Easy…slow…fuck. ‘Want to get lost in you.”
“Good job.”
He kissed me and climbed on top, pushing into me.
I smiled.
Within a few minutes I was panting, totally engaged with his rhythms.
He came.
I laughed and cried as he held me tight. He played and licked and I quickly came. He held me so that I was lost in him, knowing totally, completely that I was loved.
I cried.
“I did it,” I whispered. “I really did.”
“I know. I was here.” He kissed me.
It was so bittersweet my heart was breaking.
If not for Jack…
David and I walked into the party and people noticed. Jack watched from a corner by the bar. Fritz was dancing with an exotic woman with long, long, black braids. But he noticed, glancing at Jack.
“You know those horrible dreams we were talking about, like going to school in your underwear?”
David grinned and nodded.
“We just walked into one of those.”
“Dance with me.”
“No, I don’t think…”
He took me out by the pool and held me close, staring into my eyes and kissing my face. We fit together perfectly.
“You know I love you,” he whispered.
The Rod Stewart song Have I Told You Lately that I Love You was playing. He kissed me.
“Never leave my arms,” he told me. “Go away with me. Tonight.”
I sang to him…”you fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness…have I told you lately that I love you…”
He smiled.
The song ended.
“Don’t look so sad, my love. I know you love Jack. We had a deal, remember? No promises.”
He hugged me and walked away.
I strolled into the back yard and sat by the fountain, wondering why this was happening. Why couldn’t there be just one man. All three were so wonderful. I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting them. I couldn’t stop the tears this time.
Jack quietly sat next to me, waiting.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“You know what your problem is?”
“No, Jack, what’s my problem?”
“You feel too much. Worry about other people too much. Your heart is too soft.”
Ted nodded. “She’s like her mother, too soft hearted,” he smiled at Gabrielle. “She’s making a mistake…”
Gabrielle sighed. “He’s gorgeous. And I think he loves her. I hope to God he loves her. I’ve gotten nowhere at stopping the monster…he’s coming. He’s coming, Te
d.”
He held her close.
“Thank you, Jack, I’ll make note of that. ‘Monday. Get a harder heart.’”
“You’re angry with me.”
“Very.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve made me hurt David and I adore David.”
He dragged me onto his lap.
“First of all, I haven’t made you do anything. And second, David’s been dealing with women for a long time. He’ll be okay. Now, tell me about this power I have over you.”
His shirt was open and I couldn’t resist playing with his chest.
“Tell me,” he kissed my hair, “tell me what this power is.”
“You made me love you.”
“No, you made me love you. I just wanted a nice romp when I first met you. And then…you did something to me.” He smiled.
I kissed him.
“I love you, Jack.”
“I love you, babe. More than…I thought was heavenly possible. What happened with David?”
“We did it. I finally told him to stop when I needed him to. Thank you, for giving me space. I know it wasn’t easy. But now…”
“Now?”
I looked into his deep, black eyes and he began to smile.
“I want to make love, Jack. Now, tonight. I want you.”
He kissed me hard, his arms suddenly tight, demanding.
“Upstairs,” he whispered.
We walked, slowly, painfully, up the long staircase. My heart was beating so fast I felt faint.
He undressed me and then in an instant he was on top of me, inside me, moving fast and hard.
The panic drowned me.
“No, Jack, no!” I was almost screaming.
“Sam, what, I’m sorry.”
“Slow. Scared. So scared.”
He slowed way down and kissed my face. I calmed down.
“Tell me what you want,” he whispered. “We can stop…just tell me. I never want to scare you. I love you so much.”
I held his face in my hands.
“You won’t hurt me?”
“Never.”
“You love me?” I rose to him in extreme pleasure.
“Always.”
We made love for hours until we were both exhausted.
He slept. I wept for David. And I wept for Fritz. I had made my choice. How could such happiness exist in the midst of such sorrow?
Sunday
The press were swarming all over Biggs. Then the Governor strolled in, his charismatic smile took charge. Biggs forced his face to freeze, as Anne, the prosecuting attorney, glided gracefully into the room. She was a high energy woman, something he was learning to appreciate a great deal. She did not look at him but gave him a tiny wave behind her back. The Governor caught it and smiled.