by Josh Vogt
As she collapsed, a pair of hands caught her. She blinked away the gray haze long enough to focus on Ondorum before a curtain of ashes enveloped her.
"Sorry," she said."It's the only way I know how to pray."
Chapter Five
Harsh Words
Akina groaned as she tried to open her eyes. Someone must've switched her head for a war drum while she slept. The incessant pounding vibrated through her whole body. Even her teeth and toenails thrummed in exhausted agony. Who? Where? These were important questions to answer, but simply lying there felt like the less-painful option. Which meant she should kick herself out of such a weak-willed state and get back on her feet.
She sat up, hoping her surroundings might clue her in, and then hoping her surroundings would stop spinning and let her actually get a good look at them. When the world realigned its orbit, she recognized Brakisten's hovel of a home. She lay on the overturned dresser in the front room, with a bundled robe stuffed beneath her for cushioning.
A glance aside showed Ondorum seated in a meditative position, taking up most of one wall. Eyes closed, he wore a simple loincloth.
She recalled the first time she and her hunting party had encountered him, similarly poised outside the gates of a hillside temple. Until he'd moved to greet them, she'd thought him an actual statue carved in breathtaking detail.
His lack of clothing exposed alexandrite crystal ridges across his ribs, down his sternum, along his shins, collarbone, shoulders, and forearms. His granite-colored body appeared carved from stone and, when clenched, his fists looked like boulders. When open, as they were in meditation, she could barely cover his palm with her whole hand. It was a beautiful sight—to her at least.
Ondorum opened his eyes, looking straight into hers. Akina dropped her gaze.
"Didn't mean to let it get that far. Hit harder than I thought." Seeing his questioning look, she sighed."It was... I was just..."
He leaned forward, hands on knees. She swallowed the rest of the words, realizing she'd be making excuses where none were needed.
"Nobody died in the ring. Right?"
He shook his head and gestured to her gear and maulaxe stacked in a corner. Akina eyed the jumbled heap of leather and iron pieces, topped with the breastplate and ram's helm. The shells she wore to keep the world at bay.
So strange how the overwhelming rage frightened and disgusted her outside of a fight. Not the fighting itself—a dwarven warrior could find great glory and honor through battle. It was the way she abandoned all sense of self and principle. She hadn't been reared that way. She'd been taught to fight for a purpose. For her people. For those she cared about.
Her chest tightened to think of what her mother would've thought, seeing her like this. Jannasten had the occasional temper too, but even when her mother got angry, she'd kept it contained. She'd funneled it into her art, into constructive pursuits. Akina had once imagined herself capable of that sort of control. Yet now, when a fight began, she craved letting the fury consume her. It burned away everything else. She didn't have to think. Didn't have to deal with any complicated emotions beyond the rage itself. Life got easier. Kill or be killed. Simple.
But then it always deserted her, forcing her to deal with the consequences. She'd hoped her destruction of Gromir's idol collection would provide temporary relief, but it had just cracked her shell enough to let the rage seep in and sweep her away.
She retrieved her equipment. Whatever her struggles, it didn't feel right to go without wearing her gear for long. As she strapped everything on, she explained what she'd learned at her mother's old shop and her encounter with the still-smitten and more-than-a-little-obsessed Gromir. Ondorum's expression dipped into sorrow on hearing of Jannasten's supposed death. Akina left out details about Gromir's shrine, but stated she'd made it clear she wanted no more pieces resembling her placed around the city. She also reassured Ondorum she wouldn't deface the already-existing work.
As she finished dressing, her brother groaned on his cot in the other room. He jolted upright, sticking a hand against the wall to steady himself.
"Who? Where..." He fixed on her."So. It wasn't a dream. Just a nightmare."
"Good to see you too." She crossed her arms."So. What do I say when I find my brother has disgraced the Fairingots?"
He slumped."I dunno. What am I supposed to say when my sister vanishes for ten years?"
"I didn't vanish, Brakisten. I went to war."
"Sure, but then you never came back." He looked aside."And when you do, it's too late to matter."
She bit the inside of her cheeks, tasting blood. She hadn't saved her brother's life to threaten it herself for a few snide comments.
"You knew about Mother and Gromir?"
"Of course." He shrugged."I'd probably have jumped down a ravine years ago without his help. But I didn't pay much attention to him until she died."
"She disappeared. That's not the same as dying."
"Doesn't matter."
"Doesn't matter," she echoed."What matters to you anymore, hm?"
Glaring, he staggered to his feet."I'll admit, it's a bit disappointing waking up day after day and finding I still haven't managed to drink myself down into the Abyss. If you want to see the death certificate, I signed off on it a year ago. The debate's closed unless she turns up in another decade or two." He scrunched one eye."Why is a naked oread listening to us?"
"Oh for..." Akina snatched up the robe and tossed it to Ondorum. He slipped it on and secured the belt."He's with me."
Brakisten cocked a bushy eyebrow."With you? In what way?"
"That's not your business."
"And that says everything."
"I said it's not your business. He's a companion. My friend. My..." She struggled for the right word."...balance."
"Balancing? Is that what they call it these days?"
"Shut it."
"You haven't introduced him to Gromir yet, have you?"
She frowned."No, why?"
"I just know Gromir doesn't take well to your friend's kind. Oreads, that is."
"What?"
"Way he tells it, during his studies, he came to feel that oreads were... well... cheap imitations of dwarves. The subpar result of humans trying to mimic Torag's creations." Brakisten grimaced."Don't know that many agree with him, but figured I'd warn you. Especially seeing as you're letting a mountain man under your armor and that clod is still pining over you."
Akina cleared her throat."I've cured him of that."
"Really? Did you chop off half his head? Might do him some good."
"I thought you said he's helped you."
Brakisten sighed."He did. He does. He's just a bit overeager." He knuckled his forehead."In the end, I think Mother was happier having him as a son than me."
"Mother never would've stopped caring for you."
"Funny. I would've once thought the same of my sister."
Akina bit back harsh words. This was her brother's pain talking, not his true feelings."What happened, Brakisten?"
"It's always easier to fall than climb, Kina." Silence draped over them until he hacked and spat to one side."Sorry to be such a disappointment, but I haven't exactly been living every day on the off-chance you might pop up to judge my performance."
"I'm not judging. I'm trying to understand—"
He waved her off."You really shouldn't have bothered coming home. No home to come home to, actually. Just a dead mother and a mad brother."
She flinched."About this madness. Why are you talking about the duergar god at all? What's Droskar got to do with anything?"
His lips pinched shut and a challenge firmed his gaze.
She held out her hands."Brakisten, talk to me. I'm home. I'm here. Can't we at least try and start patching a few cracks? Can't you tell me anything?"
He smiled sadly."Nothing you'd really listen to."
They matched stares, hers dumbfounded, his bleary. Then he snapped the moment in two by stepping past and heading for
the door.
She whirled."Where do you think you're going?"
"Not really your business," he said over his shoulder,"but it involves balancing this nightmare with a few dreams."
She reached out to drag him back, but Ondorum raised a hand, cautioning her to wait. She trembled in place.
"I'm your elder sister," she shouted.
His weary laugh slapped her."Not in any way that matters."
"Dammit, Brakisten, if you go anywhere near another—"
The door slammed shut in her face. She seethed a moment before stomping into the back room and punching the wall. Then she snagged the washbasin and broke it in half. When none of that helped, she grabbed up her helmet and strapped it on. She growled as she hefted her maulaxe.
"Right. While he's off to a lose a fight with a wine barrel, I'm off to win a few and get back some coin."
Ondorum rose and blocked the exit with his body.
Akina rolled her eyes."I can control it. I just need more practice. You're always telling me perfection comes with repetition."
His skeptical look deepened.
"Ondorum, get out of my way before I—"
She tried to push past, but he grabbed and lifted her. As she kicked at his stomach and chest, he pinned her to the wall.
The door opened and Gromir poked his head in."Brakisten, are you about?"
Chapter Six
Misunderstandings
Gromir shouted and leapt into the room. A small throwing axe appeared in one of his hands while he raised the other with curled fingers. The space between fingertips and palm flared with a knot of flame, which he aimed at the monk. A layer of frost crackled over the axe blade.
"Gromir, don't!" Akina cried.
Ondorum lurched sideways, dragging her along as Gromir attacked. The monk's robe flapped in the sudden movement, and a bolt of flame seared through the wool and charred the wall. Gromir flung the frosted axe. Ondorum ducked into the back room, carrying Akina with him. The axe ricocheted off the wall and floor, forming patches of ice.
Akina thrust away from Ondorum and caught her balance when she hit the floor. Gromir charged into the room, another rimed axe readied. She threw herself between the two men, arms wide.
"Stop!"
The axe clacked against her breastplate and dropped to the floor. All three held still as a web of frost formed over her armor. The chill radiated across her breasts and stomach, but didn't penetrate further. She rapped at the affected metal and winced at the ting. She glared up at Gromir.
"If this is permanent, you're paying for a replacement."
Gromir had one hand halfway inside his robe, his bandolier of throwing axes now minus two. He withdrew the hand, while his other relaxed from whatever arcane symbol he'd been forming. His confused look swung from her to Ondorum and back.
"I thought he was attacking you."
Technically, he had been, but Akina decided not to press the point.
"Gromir, this is Ondorum. He's a monk I met while traveling. We've been together for a while, but I didn't have the chance to introduce you yet." She nodded to the monk."Ondorum, this is Gromir. I told you about him, remember?" Only just recently, but she hoped Gromir assumed otherwise."He and I trained together before the war. We were close."
"Close?" Gromir grunted the word."That's really all you're going to say? After the time we spent together?"
She faced him."I made my stance clear."
Ondorum pressed palms together and bowed.
Gromir stiffened."He's an oread."
"Glad to see your eyes work."
"Why isn't he saying anything?"
"He's taken a vow of silence. It's a holy thing." Akina shook her head at Ondorum."I'm going to find a giant slab of bronze, carve I don't talk because I'm a halfwit, please spare a copper on it, and chain it around your neck."
Gromir placed a hand on her arm."Can I speak to you? In private?"
She shrugged him off, but nodded Ondorum toward the door."Mind?"
Ondorum bowed again and exited, though without a calming touch or any of the small signs of affection she'd grown used to.
As soon as the door closed, Gromir gripped her shoulders."What is he to you?"
She brushed his hands away and stepped out of reach."Someone who understands personal space."
"I'm serious, Akina."
"So am I. What's it matter to you?"
"Everything."
"We've very different definitions of everything."
"Whatever you may think of me—" He chuckled darkly."Or not think, for that matter, I can't believe you'd associate yourself with one of them. There's not a single oread in the world that's worth your time and attention."
She glowered."Brakisten told me about your problem with them. Should I mention one of Torag's own clerics was happy to see Ondorum? Said it was a blessing to have him in the temple."
Gromir threw his hands up."Yes, fine. They share some affinity with us. They fit in, but they're not our equals in any way. Human blood with diluted essence of the earth? It's like one person constructing a citadel of true stone while another builds one of hardened mud and tries to claim they hold the same value."
She opened and closed her mouth, trying to find the right words.
"I know it's not a popular perspective," he said,"but oreads have no real fire in their bellies like we do. They're weak clay, and we need to stop pretending otherwise."
She stabbed a finger at him."It's sad to see all your studying's wasted. Ondorum's one of the strongest people I know. He's fought harder, worked harder, and done more to help others than anyone I've crossed paths with."
"Please. He may have fooled you, but it's obvious he's a brute, and his silly vow of silence is just a way to give himself an air of wounded virtue. He may have some strength, but so do ogres, and you don't see them contributing anything lasting to culture or civilization."
"He's saved my life more times than I can count."
"I've fought to save your family's name! In the end, your and your kin's place in the histories is what matters to future generations. They'll look to us, their ancestors, for inspiration. Can't you see that?"
"I've seen enough."
He glowered."Yes, and then destroyed what you saw."
Akina shut her eyes briefly, trying to scatter the embers flaring within her. Violence couldn't solve everything, and rattling Gromir's skull wouldn't set his thoughts straight.
"You don't have any right to talk about Ondorum like this. You don't know him."
"Nor do I wish to, especially after seeing what knowing him has done to you."
The embers flared. She opened her eyes, hoping the heat shone through.
He reached for her again, but then hesitated and dropped his hand."A lot has hit you at once. Coming home to find this," he glanced around the room,"discovering the things you hoped for having gone missing. Such shock can shake even the stoutest mind and heart."
"You saying I'm not in my right mind?"
"I'm saying you're sun-blind. That you've exchanged gold for pyrite. The surface world offered a lie you've bought into fully, and that galls me." Akina wanted to slap off his pained look, but he continued."Your potential is wasted out in those lands. And on people like him."
"Keep talking like this and it'll be your face I pound to scrap next."
"See? Even your wit has been reduced to nothing but promises of violence."
"You once liked when I threatened you."
He bowed his head."So I did. I often recall our sparring, learning the ways of war together, and our many meals in the training quarters. Then there was the time we spent stationed together out near Davarn. Those were the brightest points in my life."
The brightest times in his life occurred over a decade before, and revolved around her? She would've thought that one of the most tragic things she'd ever heard if it didn't cast a strange shadow through her. For her, the most glorious times were connected to losing herself in battle and the unexpected joy of su
rviving a brutal encounter.
"Why'd you even come here? What'd you want with Brakisten?" Akina squinted at him."Or maybe you were looking for me, hm?"
He fiddled with the bandolier strapped to his chest."I did come for Brakisten, to see how he was handling your return and offer him some food."
"Oh, he's so pleased to see me, he's out to raise a toast."
Gromir sighed."I've tried to convince many tavern owners and merchants to deny him business. Only the greediest have refused, but no one will let him open a tab at least, so it's become harder to supply himself."
"How noble of you."
"As I've said, I care for your kin almost as much as I do for you. I just wish you'd see that."
"Want to show me you really care?"
When he nodded fervently, she pointed to the door."Get to know Ondorum. Open your mind a little and admit you might be wrong about him."
His face crumpled."Even if I were willing, how am I to do that when he's not speaking?"
Akina scrubbed a hand across her forehead. Didn't Ondorum realize how difficult he made this?"Point taken. But there's more ways to get to know someone than talking."
"None that I'd abide with one of his kind." He held out his hands in a begging posture."What else can I do? Tell me. Anything. How can I prove that you belong here and that I'm worthy of your devotion?"
She knocked his hands aside and backed him up against a wall. She pressed a fist to his sternum so he might feel its weight combine with her words."Bring my mother back and save Brakisten's lost soul." She pushed away."Simple as that."
Gromir stood as if stunned. She waited for him to slink out so she could rejoin Ondorum and figure out their next steps. Instead, the tiniest smile twitched Gromir's beard. He bowed.
"As you command, m'lady."
Odd smile still fixed, he strode from the room and gathered the two thrown axes. On his way out the door, he almost knocked into Ondorum. He paused long enough to give the monk a venomous look, then continued on his way. Ondorum peered inside, curious. Akina exhaled. Then she shivered. The ice melting off her breastplate had sent a frigid rivulet tracking down her stomach and thigh.