“Fair enough.” Timmy and Gerald shared a look. He doubted they’d get anything better than that out of her. Perhaps she’d warm up to them in time although he wasn’t going to bet any money on it. “So, what is your name? The elves call you by your title, but that’s a bit long for everyday conversation.”
“My name?” The elf laughed and then made a series of bizarre sounds: chirps, clicks, chicken noises, and some eagle-like screeching. They all had to cover their ears. “That is my name.”
“Seriously?” Timmy clutched at his head. His ears were still ringing. “I was under the impression that all of the languages of the elves were quite beautiful.”
“Most of them are. But a long, long, long time ago, elves were the ones who taught animals their speech. The very oldest forms of my language include the languages taught to beasts. All elves have magic, and we don’t usually get our real name until we show it. When my people saw my magic, they decided that our more modern – and pretty – speech was too soft for what I was. They gave me a name in that ancient tongue, the language of the wild. It means, roughly speaking, Crazy Woman Who Burns Things A Lot And Blows Up Trees.”
Katie made a face. “No wonder she doesn’t like the other elves.”
The elf chuckled. “Yes, they’re a big bunch of bastards.”
“Okay…” Timmy winced. They were not going to call her that. They needed something that was less likely to drive her into a homicidal rage. “Do you have another name that we could use, maybe something we can actually pronounce?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.” The elf pursed her lips. “But it’s been a long time since I’ve used it. Call me… Avraniel.”
“That is much easier to say.” Katie fiddled with her glasses. “Does it mean something too? I’ve read a lot about elves, but I’ve never heard that name before.”
“Of course you read a lot. You seem just the type.” Avraniel sized up the girl. Katie wasn’t very large, but those shadows of hers were no joke. Those two rats of hers were also ridiculously skilled. She might even have found it funny – she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen actual ninja rats – if it had happened to someone else. “It doesn’t mean anything. I didn’t like the name my people gave me, so I made up one myself. I like the way it sounds.”
“Oh.” Katie shrugged and reached down to pet Rembrandt on the head. The rats didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. In their culture, people would have prized a fearsome name like the elf’s original one. “If it helps, I would’ve been happier if my parents named me Emily.”
“How wonderful.” Timmy sniggered at the outraged expression on Katie’s face. That was a lot of sarcasm. “Right,” the elf said. “Now that we’re all super friends and everything, why don’t you untie me and get these suppressors off?”
Timmy was in no hurry to get those off her. Elves were naturally stronger and faster than humans. “I’m not sure we can do that until you agree to our terms.”
“Yes, yes, I agree.” The elf fidgeted and pulled at her restraints. “And, yes, I do swear by all the gods of the elves and all the other gods that I don’t have the time to name, especially the vengeful ones. They can all strike me dead if I break my word. Now, untie me unless you want to see me piss myself.”
As creatures with a far closer bond to nature and the gods than humans, elves could not afford to make such oaths lightly. Timmy nodded at Gerald, but the other man shook his head and busied himself with some paperwork he’d procured with his magic. Coward. He was leaving the decision up to Timmy. Damn. He wasn’t normally a fan of tying people up. It was usually easier to have a dozen of his zombies watch over them. “Gerald, I don’t suppose that you can get us a chamber pot with your magic?”
“I think I can do that.” Gerald reached behind his back and came up with a chamber pot. It made Timmy even more curious to know what else he could dig up.
“Thanks.” Timmy put the chamber pot down in front of Avraniel. “Here. You can use this.”
Avraniel glared. Timmy could have sworn the temperature was rising. “In case you haven’t noticed, idiot, I’m still tied to a tree. How exactly do you expect me to use that? And before you ask, I am not going to contort myself into some stupid position so that I can squat over that thing like an animal.”
“Are you sure that you couldn’t maybe… possibly… I guess not.” The elf was trying to kill him with her eyes again, and she was doing a good job of it. “Come on, it’s a chamber pot. You’ve spent years on the run. I know how camping works. You probably dug a hole and went in that. How is this any worse?”
“I am not using that thing in front of you three.” Avraniel’s voice brooked no disagreement.
“We could turn around.” Timmy offered her his most charming smile. “I promise we won’t look.”
“Master!” Katie gaped. “That’s a horrible thing to say.”
Timmy turned to look at his apprentice so fast that he almost broke his neck. Did she have to pick now, of all times, to develop a sense of feminine modesty?
“You hit me with a shovel when my back was turned, you jack ass.” Avraniel’s eyes narrowed. “That means you’re sneaky. I bet you’re a pervert too. I have no doubt that you’ll turn around while I’m using the chamber pot.” She shook her head and gave Katie a pitying look. “Maybe I should be worried about that girl over there. Who knows what kind of weird things you do in your spare time?”
“Stop calling me ‘girl’. My name is Katie.” Katie glared back at the elf. “And my master might have some weird hobbies, but he’s not that kind of weirdo. He’s a good weirdo.”
Timmy threw his hands up in the air. Oh, Katie, what a lacklustre defence of his character she’d made. “If you must know, Avraniel, she’s like a daughter to me – a really, really crazy daughter.” He leaned to the side as Rembrandt shot past him with his sword drawn.
“Hey!”
“It’s true. Now, tell your rats to stop trying to kill me.” Rembrandt and Monet were all but foaming at the mouth with the urge to unleash righteous vengeance upon him – either that, or they had rabies.
“Just untie her already.” Katie sighed. “She can go find some bushes or go down to the river. We can leave the magic and strength suppressors on. If she tries anything, the rats and I can handle her.” She jabbed one finger at Avraniel. “And don’t even think of tampering with those suppressors. I’m not afraid to grab my master’s shovel and whack you over the head with it again.”
“You’re a scary brat, you know that?” The elf huffed. “Fine. Do what the girl says. Let her watch me with those rats of hers. I’ll cooperate.”
* * *
Katie was completely convinced that the two men were idiots. True, her master had proven his worth in a fight, and his shovel was awesome. Gerald hadn’t even panicked like she’d feared he would. But really, they wanted an elf – an unfriendly, female elf who was also one of the most dangerous criminals in the world – to urinate in a chamber pot while they turned their backs. Were they insane? She was only ten years old, and even she knew that was a stupid idea. Honestly, there were times when she wondered if she should strike out and try to make it on her own. She was sure that she could establish her own thriving kingdom of darkness before she hit fifteen.
It hadn’t been pleasant fighting Avraniel. She’d almost been melted, blown up, and burned several times, but Katie had expected that. Anyone strong enough to kick the crap out of her master – even if he had been younger then – and his master was no slouch in the fighting department. Her master was a survivor, and his master was supposed to have been a monster. The fact that her master was relatively normal apart from the occasional bout of idiocy spoke volumes about what kind of man he was. It was what she liked most about Timmy, that and his tendency to indulge her hobbies. Provided that she wasn’t trying to assassinate him, he didn’t mind what she got up to in her free time.
“Here.” Katie pointed at some bushes a short distance from camp. Shadowy claws e
xtended from a few of the trees to dig a hole. “You can use that hole.” She gestured at her two rats, which had taken up positions nearby. “If you try anything funny, we’ll stop you. It won’t be pleasant.”
“I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.” Avraniel moved behind the bushes and squatted over the hole. “I’m being bossed around by a little girl and her pet rats. So, how did a girl like you end up with a dumb ass like Timmy? And seriously, what kind of name is Timmy for a necromancer?”
“Call him what you like, he still got you with his shovel.”
“Yes, he is a tricky bastard. But who uses a shovel?” Avraniel went about her business. “I don’t care if it’s a magical shovel, it’s still embarrassing. I’m a living legend – the elf equivalent of the bogeyman – and he beat me with a shovel. Damn it.” The elf cursed a few more times in a language Katie couldn’t understand. “Anyway, you didn’t answer my question. How did you end up with him?”
“I’m a necromancer.” Katie didn’t think it would do any harm to share. If Avraniel were going to join their team, she’d find out sooner or later. Perhaps sharing might even help win the elf over. “There aren’t a lot of people willing to teach people like me.”
“Yes, you necromancers are even less popular than pyromaniac elves.” The elf waved, and Katie tossed her a gourd of water to wash with. “How did your magic awaken? It’s probably something horribly traumatic. It always is with necromancers. It’s why you’re such a cheerful bunch.”
Magic often awakened under pressure. Katie’s had. “A wagon ran over my dog, Patches. I loved him, so I tried to fix him. It worked, and my mom shipped me off to my master a few weeks later.”
“People are always afraid of what they don’t understand.” The elf continued to fiddle with her clothing. “How about your other magic, that thing you do with your shadows? Does your master know where it comes from?”
“My family was poor. We never had enough candles.” Katie thought back to her room at the castle, the one she always lit with more candles than she needed. “My shadows came in handy.”
The elf’s lips curled. “That’s nice, but you’re forgetting something, girl. Magic might awaken under pressure, but it also runs in families. Does your master know who the last person to have your magic was? It’s been a while, but I fought a man with magic like yours. He was very interesting.”
“I don’t know.” Katie fiddled with her robes. She was lying. Her master’s library was very large, and she knew all about her own legendarily unpleasant ancestor. Next to her, Rembrandt unsheathed his sword. He could feel her agitation, and it made him angry.
“Funny how that rodent sticks up for you. That man I fought, the man with magic like yours, he killed almost his entire family. His grandfather did the same thing too, and his grandfather before him. I do believe their magic drove them mad. Did your parents know when they sent you to your master? Were they afraid of what you’d do? Or have you already done it?”
A rustle came from another set of bushes as Timmy stepped out into the open. It wasn’t often that Katie saw him genuinely angry, but he was angry now. His brown eyes burned into Avraniel’s, and his hands were wrapped tightly around his shovel. He stomped over to the elf and grabbed her by the scruff of her tunic. “That’s enough. Katie is my apprentice, and I trust her.”
“That’s wonderful for the both of you.” The elf growled. “But would you mind letting go of me so that I can pull my trousers back up.”
Out of reflex, Timmy looked down. From his reaction, the elf wasn’t lying. His eyes widened, and he stumbled back, one hand over his face. “By all means, fix your trousers.”
Katie snickered. She could always count on her master to put a smile on her face, even if it was by accident. Still, she couldn’t help the warmth filling her chest. He trusted her.
“Hurry up,” Timmy said. “We need to get back to camp.” He moved his hands away from his face. “Watch what you say, Avraniel. I meant what I said. Katie is my apprentice. Her welfare is my personal responsibility.”
The elf waved one hand at them, and Katie and her rats directed their most terrifying glares in her direction. Naturally, she was completely unaffected. Still wary of the elf’s intentions as she walked back toward them, Katie found herself drifting over to Timmy’s side. She wasn’t going to do something as childish as hug him for comfort, but she did feel safer around him. However, she could ask Rembrandt and Monet to go easier on him. They could always prank the elf instead. That would show her.
When they bedded down for the night, the elf still had her magic and strength suppressors on. They left her untied, but they made sure to keep a watch on her at all times. Katie didn’t think she’d give them any trouble. She’d sworn on the gods, and the gods did not take oath breakers lightly. The gods of the elves, in particular, despised those who broke their word. Katie pretended to sleep and waited until the elf’s breathing evened out. It was the middle of the night, and she had two rats that could turn invisible. It was perfect.
It was child’s play for her rats – now very much invisible – to creep into the elf’s bedroll and nibble on her toes. The elf gave a wild shriek as the rats clambered up her legs and poked her with their claws. The others were up on their feet in an instant, and it was the easiest thing in the world for Katie to trip Avraniel over with one of her shadows. The rats reappeared next to Katie’s bedroll, doing their best to appear innocent.
“You!” Avraniel’s eyes glowed golden, and for a split-second, Katie was convinced that she was about to die a horrible, fiery death. Before the others could intervene, the elf pulled her into a headlock and… started to ruffle her hair. “That wasn’t half bad, girl. There might be hope for you yet.” She let Katie go and then smiled toothily. “But if you or your rats ever try something like that again, I’ll set you on fire and roast those rodents of yours. Understand?”
Katie, Rembrandt, and Monet gulped and nodded. “Yes.”
“Good. I don’t want to join a team of spineless cowards, but no one messes with me.”
* * *
“So, cretins, what’s our next mission?” Ever since Katie had pulled her prank, Avraniel had alternated between teasing the poor girl and offering what she considered to be sage advice, most of which was about how to kill or burn her enemies. Right now, the elf was leaping from tree to tree as the others rode below at a more sedate pace. The fact that she could do that with her strength suppressors on was a sobering reminder of how dangerous she was. It was also, according to the elf, the preferred mode of transport for elves in the forest. “I’m assuming that recruiting me was one of your missions, so what’s next for our legendary team?”
“Well.” Gerald fumbled and produced a scroll. He’d yet to get over the elf’s heavy use of sarcasm. “Ah, here it is. There’s a certain dragon that has made its home north of here. We need to deal with it.”
Avraniel jumped out of a tree, swung off a branch, and then landed behind Katie on the girl’s horse. Katie grumbled, but she didn’t have any way of getting rid of the elf without a fight. Rembrandt and Monet turned to keep a wary eye on Avraniel.
“Let me see that.” Avraniel grabbed the scroll. “Ah, they want us to take down old Black Scales.”
“Black Scales?” Any dragon old and powerful enough to earn a nickname was guaranteed to be trouble. Timmy shuddered. The last time he’d fought a dragon with a nickname, it had taken him an entire day to put it down and cost him thousands of his zombies after one of his rivals had unleashed it on his castle. Luckily, that had been before Katie had come to him. She would have done something horrible to him if her room had gotten damaged.
“They call him Black Scales because that’s what colour his scales are.” Avraniel laughed and ruffled Katie’s hair, a habit she’d developed expressly to annoy the girl. “He’s a big, old bastard, a real tough son of a bitch. He’s one of the few things in the world the elves hate more than me. He breathes fire like you wouldn’t believe – black fire that�
�s as much magical as it is hot.”
“Wouldn’t white fire be hotter?” Katie asked.
Avraniel ruffled Katie’s hair again and yanked her hand back just in time to avoid a bite from Monet. “It is magical fire, girl. It doesn’t have to make sense. But why are they after him now? Did he burn down another village, maybe eat another king?”
“He’s burnt down another two villages, actually.” Gerald’s face took on a rather grim look. Timmy wasn’t sure if it was the loss of life or all the associated paperwork that bothered him more. “He hasn’t eaten any kings lately, but he has eaten a count and one baron. Several centuries ago, he also ate one of the members of the Council who was on holiday here. Unfortunately, we don’t have much information about him. Almost no one survives meeting him. Is there anything you can tell us?”
“Wonderful.” Timmy took a deep breath. If only there was a wall nearby for him to bang his head on. They’d barely managed to beat Avraniel, and now Gerald wanted them to take on a dragon. “We don’t even know much about him, and you want us to fight him? Sure, he burns down villages, eats members of the nobility, and ate someone from the Council, but couldn’t we leave him alone? Why not move all of the villages out of his domain?”
“That might work.” Avraniel’s amber eyes gleamed, and magic rustled against the suppressors that she still wore. “Dragons are territorial monsters. He’s got a big range, but it’s his range. He won’t wander far unless it’s to find a mate or pick a fight.”
“The Council is worried that our enemies might use him against us.” Gerald summoned a book. “Dragons have been used against Everton on several occasions. In each case, the damage was considerable. The Council wants to rule out that possibility. If possible, they also want you, Timmy, to bring him back on our side after he’s dead.”
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf Page 8