“I ordered you a cup of coffee before you arrived, if you’d like one.”
She smiled again and shook her head yes. Taking their cups in his hands, Wesley held his elbow out. “Would you like to go somewhere that’s a little more out of the way? Or we can walk over to the boarding house if you’d like. I’ll send someone for your bags?”
Another nod of her head and off they went. “Please feel free to stop me if I’m talking too much,” Wesley smiled. “I figure I can fill in the silence when need be, until you feel strong and safe enough to join in.”
***
Anna knew that even if she’d tried, no words would have come out, but it didn’t stop her from thinking that not only was Wesley Stockton the kindest gentleman she’d ever met, he was probably the most handsome too. His wheat colored blond hair was long and thick, settling over the collar of his shirt. It set off his gray eyes nicely and gave him a boyish feature that made him seem much younger than his twenty-nine years. His smile was warm and welcoming and Anna found herself easily soothed by the cadence of his voice.
He talked all the way to the boarding house, and introduced her to the staff there, including Sally Frederickson, the owner. “Mr. Stockton has paid in advance for your room, so if you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where it is.”
Anna followed the older woman to her room and smiled a greeting of thanks as she surveyed the accommodations. There was a beautiful oak framed bed with matching night stands that the room was centered around. The stone fireplace would serve her well when winter set in, if she wasn’t back home or married by then. The hard wood floors shone and were covered in part by a massive rug that gave the room an air of welcome.
If she were being honest, she’d have said that the thought of marriage made her belly jump. She wasn’t opposed to the union, obviously, but neither had she given very serious thought to the matter until now. She was for all intents and purposes now being courted by Wesley Stockton and bringing his face to her mind, the thought thrilled her.
Stepping over to the window she looked down at the yard and noticed Wesley walking around outside, seeming to patiently wait on her to return. When he turned and looked up at her window a smile spread across his face and Anna found herself mirroring the look. She lifted a hand and waved, to which he returned the gesture. It was more than just the idea of marriage that made her belly jump now. Wesley Stockton had set butterflies loose in her stomach and Anna rather liked the feeling.
She turned back toward the room, let out a huge breath of relief, and headed back downstairs where she found Wesley once again waiting for her. “I’ll have her back well before curfew Miss Sally,” Anna heard Wesley say as he tipped his hat and smiled. She took his offered arm and he headed toward a buggy that she hadn’t noticed before. “These are Shem and Shamus. Two of my finest horses,” he said as he helped her up into the buggy. It was covered and Anna felt like a princess as Wesley picked up the reins and pushed the horses to a heavy trot.
“I hope you like horses and cows,” he said as they headed out toward what must have been the country surrounding Virginia City. “It takes a good forty-five minutes by buggy to get to my place, but I promise I’ll have you home in time for supper if you’d like. Or you can stay and eat with me.” Anna smiled broadly at the mention of eating supper with him and he smiled back when she shook her head. “I’m not the world’s greatest cook, but I haven’t starved yet.”
She chuckled, but no sound came out and the realization clouded her vision.
***
“It’s okay,” Wesley said, noticing her angst. “Your voice will work when it’s good and ready. Until then, just be yourself. That’s all I’m asking.” Wesley watched her bite her lip and had to look away. Focusing too much on Anna’s physical attributes would have crazy thoughts like kissing her, running through his head all day. And thoughts like that wouldn’t set well in trying to be an example of Christ to this beautiful woman.
“So,” he smiled. “Do they have large horse farms in Connecticut?”
She shook her head up and down and then side to side, thoroughly confusing him. Then she took out a paper and pencil. In the city horses are rare, but there is lots of country side outside the city where people keep lots of beautiful horses.
It was then that Wesley realized it would be a true test of their courtship to hold a two sided conversation with Anna. Grinning, he resolved to give it his best. The peace he felt around her was just another confirmation that God had indeed sent this lovely young woman to him and Wesley would do everything he could to help heal whatever wound kept her from speaking. If he could return her voice to her, it would be the greatest of gifts and seal their friendship for eternity. He truly believed that if he focused on loving Anna as a friend, the love of a spouse would eventually follow.
He took her to the barn first and helped her down from her seat, his hands sliding easily around her trim waist. When her feet touched the ground he smiled down at her and helped her over to a bench while he unhooked the horses.
“Shamus and Shem were a pair of cart horses I managed to get a deal on. The owner couldn’t care for them anymore and I took them for a song. Since then, I’ve added some beautiful mares to my stock. I’m hoping to become the breeder that everyone looks to for cart horses. Until trains make it all the way out west, these big, beautiful animals will be the backbone of transportation. Eventually though, I realized that I couldn’t just rely on that to keep me going as horses only foal once a year and should really have a couple years between babies. That’s when I added cattle as well. Then I took a huge section of the property for my farming as well. Do you like vegetables?”
Her eager smile and nodding affirmation made him chuckle. With her dark hair still coming out of its pins, she looked much like an eager child. Once the horses were watered and turned out to stretch their legs, Wesley walked with Anna to his home, enjoying the way she took everything in. He noticed the way she studied the large bay window and decided that must have been her favorite part of the house, at least from the outside.
“I’ve asked my foreman, Tomas and his wife, Cassandra to join us for dinner so you’ll have a chaperone. This far out I don’t think we’ll have any wagging tongues, but there’s no use in stirring any up either.”
She smiled readily and wrote, Thank you, on her paper with a smiley face.
***
Dinner was lovely and both Tomas and Cassandra held up the conversation so Anna could join in. She’d never been involved so easily before. Back home it was always an ordeal to include her. Out here, these three wonderful people made it seem so easy, even joking amongst themselves while she wrote down her own opinions and such on paper. She had no idea if love at first sight was a real thing or not. Nor did she know if she should trust her heart, yet. But Anna did know that if Wesley would give her time, she’d fall in love with him, because she could already feel herself tumbling. Falling into bed, Anna spent just a few minutes praying before sleep swept over her.
Please guide us both as we move forward with whatever this relationship has to offer. Help us keep you at our center, always, and give Wesley a huge dose of grace and mercy where my affliction is concerned.
For the first time in years, Anna fell asleep peacefully, without the weight of her silence hanging over her head.
The next morning she woke with a smile on her face. She splashed her face with cold water from her wash basin and donned a fresh dress before heading down to breakfast. When she hit the bottom landing she was surprised to see Wesley waiting for her in the sitting room. Going to him she smiled broadly.
“Good morning,” he said, his eyes seemingly appreciative of her appearance. “I hope I’m not intruding on your plans, but I thought you might like to eat breakfast with me and spend a day at the ranch, getting to know the layout better and spending time with Tomas and Cassandra.”
Enthused by his presence and the fact that he obviously wanted to spend time with her, she smiled again and nodded her h
ead vigorously up and down. His returning smile warmed her. “Excellent. You look lovely by the way. I must admit though, that I rather like the way your hair looks down. I know I haven’t really seen it all that way, but the wisps I caught yesterday seemed fitting to your pretty face.”
She looked up in shock as his gray eyes caught hers and he blushed. “I’m afraid I’m not very good when conversing with women,” he admitted. “I’ve never courted a woman before and often don’t have a filter for my thoughts. I’m sorry if I offended you.”
Grabbing her paper and pencil, Anna held up a finger, asking him silently to wait a minute. He graciously stopped and allowed her to write. Handing him the paper she waited. He read what she’d written out loud.
No one has ever complimented my hair, least of all to say they liked it in a particular way. Thank you. While I also don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to courting, I think you’re doing just fine. You’re considerate, patient, gracious, and you extend mercy to me where plenty of people have only judged what they don’t understand. I wasn’t offended, just surprised.
“I’m glad I’m meeting your standards,” he grinned. He extended his elbow again and Anna gladly took it, giving his arm a slight squeeze that brought out a smile that reached those sparkling gray eyes that had a way of drawing her in. They rode out to Wesley’s ranch and once again, Anna felt that flutter when Wesley helped her down from the buggy. “Are you okay?”
She shook her head, feeling a blush creep over her cheeks. Today she held her hand out for a brush when Wesley started grooming the cart horses that had brought them home. He smiled and gave her one. They worked in quiet tandem, Anna listening as Wesley talked to the horse as if he were a friend. It pulled at her, the ease with which he spoke. She’d longed for that freedom for so long that she could scarcely remember a time when she hadn’t been mute. Being silent by choice though was wholly different than someone who truly couldn’t talk. Using a very, very low whisper, Anna leaned close to Shamus as she worked the brush over his shoulder.
“My name is Anna,” she whispered.
The horse perked up and blew air out of his nostrils. Anna smiled. The feeling that came over her was wonderment. No she hadn’t truly spoken out loud, but a whisper was more than she had done in nearly her whole life, and she liked it.
*****
Slow and Steady
Wesley noted the way Shamus perked his ears up as if someone had spoken to him. He smiled as joy filled his heart. Not even a week had gone by yet and already Anna was making strides to talk. He’d imagined the horses being good therapy for her, a friend who wouldn’t judge her one way or another if she never talked again. But to see results this fast was astounding. He kept his own counsel though. He didn’t want Anna to know he’d noted Shamus’ shifting and scare her away from progress. If anything, he wanted to encourage her interaction with the giant horse. Perhaps there, she’d find the comfort and understanding she hadn’t found in her family and friends.
“How is he then?” Wesley asked, stepping into the stall next to her. He ran a gentle hand over Shamus’ flank and stooped to check the big gray’s legs. “She’ll have you spoiled by the morning if I let her keep brushing you, won’t she, Shamus?”
Wesley turned to see those beautiful eyes on him and felt immediately as if someone had sucked all the air from the stables. Her eyes searched his as if she was trying to decide whether or not he was making a joke or complimenting her. He watched heat infuse her face with the prettiest blush he’d ever seen and the temptation to kiss her was too much to withstand. Leaning close he looked into those imploring blue eyes one more time before his lips touched hers.
Anna instantly pulled back and Wesley felt as if someone had punched him in the gut.
“I’m sorry, Anna. I shouldn’t have done that. I’ll take you home now if you want.”
Her eyes met his again, but it wasn’t anger he saw there, but astonishment. Then she was furiously writing on her notepad.
I’m not mad. No one’s ever wanted to kiss me before. I’m afraid I’m not well versed in the activity. And I think it best if we keep from entertaining it any longer as it makes it difficult to be close to you. There is no need to take me home, yet.
This made him chuckle. If only Anna knew what that mere second of contact had meant to him, she might think differently about her experience.
Why do you laugh?
This made him bite his tongue before he answered. “I’m not laughing at you,” he said, grabbing her hand and running his thumb gently over her fingers. “I chuckled because you think that being unfamiliar with kissing is a bad thing, when you don’t realize how wonderful it was for me.”
The look in her eyes made him want to draw her close and cuddle her. She allowed him to walk her to the house where they enjoyed a light snack before he gave her an extensive tour of the fields where tiny sprouts had sprung up.
“This field is corn and potatoes. The one next to this is green beans and peas, and finally wheat. I have no idea how to make bread or flour for that matter, but I intend to learn. Thankfully Cassandra’s mother is well-versed in grinding flour and bread making.”
I can milk cows and make butter.
Wesley read when Anna finished writing on her pad. He smiled and laid his hand over hers. “I have a confession to make.” She nodded her head as if to encourage him. “I was terribly afraid you’d be so high maintenance that I couldn’t afford to keep up with you.”
Her brow wrinkled and she wrote more on her note pad. I seemed snobbish to you?
“Not snobbish, just…well-off, I guess. I was afraid, even when I saw you last week, that you’d want things just so. I was terrified that you wouldn’t like my home or the ranch at all, or that you’d insist on changing things around.”
I like your home very much, Wesley read. I have no need to change anything, unless you want me to.
“My home could use a woman’s touch,” he admitted, pointing to the walls that had no decoration. The mantle over the fireplace only sported a shotgun for hunting and nothing else.
We could get our picture taken and hang it in a frame on the wall, she wrote and then instantly apologized as a blush covered her cheeks.
“I think getting our picture taken is a great idea. If this relationship goes where I hope it will, we can show it to our children someday. If, however, you decide that you don’t want to further our courtship, then hopefully it’ll be a fond memory that you can look back on.”
I’m sorry if I’ve made you think that I’m not interested in you.
Wesley read her note and looked up sharply. Grabbing her hand, he led her outside without saying anything.
Sweeping his hand over his property, he grinned. “I’ve been praying for a wife since before I came here. When I finally found enough silver to pay out for a life I could sustain and make a comfortable living at, my prayers increased. I had no friends here to speak of and my heart yearned for a woman I could share this life with. Truth be told I wasn’t sure what to expect when I advertised in a newspaper for a wife. I had a hard time trusting that God could use that odd method to bring the right woman into my life. Then I got this honest and beautiful letter from a gorgeous and intriguing woman. You have nothing to apologize for, Anna. I am beyond blessed to have you here with me, even if all we end up being is best friends. I will always be thankful I met you.”
After a full day of cattle branding and teaching Anna how the milking parlor worked, Wesley took her home after supper. He smiled all the way home after she’d kissed his cheek and practically bolted inside. Still, he’d seen her wave when he’d looked back at her window and he’d returned the gesture. She was delightful to be around and Wesley knew that it wouldn’t be long before he asked her to marry him. He respected what she’d sacrificed to come all the way to the Utah Territory to be with him, on the off chance that they’d be compatible. He enjoyed her friendship and the way her face expressed everything she thought, whether she could speak or no
t. He did hope, of course, that given more and more time with Shamus and Shem that she’d eventually feel safe and secure enough to talk, however, even if she never said a word, Wesley was already falling in love with her. There was simply no way to stop his heart from feeling for her.
The next two months flew by as Anna became a regular fixture at the Stockton ranch. Wesley brought her out early one day when a local wood worker hung up a sign that read Stockton in bold, beautiful script. She’d smiled broadly, and Wesley could imagine that she’d be proud to be his wife, to take his name. He realized quickly that he was weaving daydreams about this lovely woman becoming Mrs. Anna Stockton and that soon he’d have to ask her to marry him and see what her answer was. Still, he wanted to give it time. If he could just get her to say one word out loud, to trust that he wouldn’t judge her, or think her odd or daft.
“I got Shamus and Shem a new harness. Would you like to see it?”
Her head bobbed up and down as it was want to do when she was excited. Her beautiful blue eyes shone as she smiled. She put her hand in his, not even waiting for him to offer and together they headed for the stables. Wesley watched Anna run her hands over the harness, studying its beadwork and leather craftsmanship.
“It’s lovely,” Anna whispered, turning to see the shocked and seemingly delighted look on Wesley’s face. She felt a blush creep over her face and looked down, feeling embarrassed.
“Please don’t stop,” he said, his hand touching her cheek gently. “Please don’t ever stop talking to me. I want to hear everything you have to say, whether it’s a different opinion or an exclamation. I don’t really care, as long as you never stop talking to me.”
“I can’t remember why I stopped,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. Anna allowed Wesley to pull her into his embrace.
“It’s alright, love. The only thing that matters is that you keep trying. I will always be here to encourage you. To help you feel safe and secure. We’ll do this all, one step at a time, no matter how long it takes.”
Sunlight and Shadows Page 33