“Hi, Boy Band,” he said, his voice low.
“Fuck,” I said, turning away coughing a little when water went down the wrong pipe. Great. The awkward just kept on coming. Best way to start my first one-on-one interaction with Dash in over a week.
“Ugh,” I groaned, finally turning to him again and taking a deep breath. “Hi, Dash.” His eyes reflected the warm glow of the lantern above us, and it kind of made my stomach do a flip.
God, I was crushing on him. One hundred percent, unmistakably, crushing on him. It was even more obvious, finally speaking to him one on one after going so long without.
“Too crazy inside even for you?” he said, taking a sip of the beer in his hand.
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“I thought you love these things,” he said, casting a glance at me.
“Usually do,” I said. For some reason I couldn’t think of what else to say—I was transfixed by his eyes, and by how I knew how easily he’d fit in my arms if I just stepped forward and wrapped him up.
“Listen,” he said, his voice softening a little. “I think I actually owe you an apology.”
I blinked. “What?” I said. I thought if anyone needed to apologize, it was me.
“I was a dick,” he said.
“You weren’t a dick.”
“I kind of was, though. Listen, Eric… you don’t owe me anything. And I know that. And I’ve realized that fans of the show are gonna say whatever they want to say, and we can’t really control it.”
“Still,” I said, “You were upset when you saw that she called us boyfriends, and I made light of it. I feel awful about it. Just because I don’t mind doesn’t mean you don’t. So I’m sorry.”
He smiled a little. “It’s okay, Eric. I’m actually feeling fine about it, now.”
“Wow.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry for avoiding you this week. This whole thing is a big learning curve for me, but tonight really showed me how incredible this really is. God, I felt alive out there tonight, Eric. Did you feel it too?”
I felt my skin raise into goosebumps as my eyes met his, even though the night air was warm. “Yeah,” I said, “I felt it.”
“So,” Dash said, looking back down at the beer bottle in his hands, “I kind of can’t believe I’m saying this, but… I’m in. For any of it. If you wanna go out to farmers markets or events, or, God help me, even parties, I’ll do it. I’ll go with you.”
“What do you mean, like—”
“I mean I’ll be your fake boyfriend, Eric.”
“…Really?”
“Yeah, sure, really. I know you don’t want a relationship. And I’m not saying we’re going to have one. You do your own thing, and I’ll do mine, and I won’t get in your way. But if you think people will like our show more if they think we’re together, then fuck it. Hell yeah, I’ll be your fake boyfriend.”
“…Dash, have you been replaced by your own evil twin, or something? Or are you just super drunk? Because I gotta say this is not what I imagined you saying to me after a week of silence.”
He laughed. “No, I’m definitely not that drunk. It’s just… doing that show tonight was probably one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. And I want nothing more than to keep doing it.”
I took a big breath in. “Uh… okay, Dash, I hear what you’re saying, but I also want you to know something. I don’t just want to hang out with you because of the TV show. I really enjoyed spending time with you last week, and regardless of what you might think, I wasn’t doing it for some sort of publicity reason.”
He nodded emphatically. “I know. I get it. It was fun, and I don’t know about you, but I thought the sex was amazing, too. But I know business comes first. So I’m telling you right now that I’m willing to do that with you, and I won’t have any expectations.”
I looked at him with my mouth partly open.
He laughed. “Eric, you’re looking at me like I just told you my pet died, or something. Trust me, I’ll be fine. I want this.”
I nodded slowly, trying to collect my thoughts.
“Do you want it, Eric?”
My mind ran through what he was proposing we do. Be fake boyfriends. Go out together, go to events together, convince the whole world that we were an item. It would mean I’d have to be close to him, frequently, and maybe even acknowledge our relationship on the live shows. Everyone would have to believe us—even the show crew and producers.
And I’d have to act as if Dash were mine.
It was weird, and it was scary. But of course I wanted it. And maybe didn’t even want it to be fake. But I had no idea how to admit that to him, and I probably never could. I could barely manage to remember to pay my own bills, let alone the complexities of a relationship.
But the prospect of being near him was too good, and it would be great for our show.
“Yeah,” I said, my voice coming out a little strange and cracked. “I do. I want it.”
His lips twisted into a smile. “Glad to hear it, boyfriend.” He raised his beer bottle to my glass of water. “To becoming the most successful show on Eat Network,” he said, clinking the glasses together.
Ten
Dash
Finally.
Finally I was calling the shots. Or at least, for the first time, I felt like Eric and I were on a level playing field.
It was oddly cathartic telling Eric that I’d finally realized he was right. We both agreed that we didn’t want a relationship, and that the show was our top priority. And now that I’d gotten used to the idea, it didn’t seem like a big deal at all.
It felt nice, actually, standing out there with him on that balcony after staying away from him for over a week. I didn’t have the energy to keep avoiding him anymore.
“There you are!” a voice called over the low chatter of the conversations on the balcony.
“It’s Andrea,” I said to Eric, recognizing her voice immediately. “She probably wants to buy us another drink. I knew you partied hard, but you didn’t warn me about her,” I said. I looked over and saw her approaching us, cutting through a few groups of people.
As I waited for her to walk over Eric suddenly leaned toward me—lacing his arms around me, actually, and all at once I was wrapped in his warmth. It was startling, and a rush ran through my entire body.
And then his mouth was at my neck. Right below my ear, sucking a kiss into the spot right by my jaw.
My eyes fluttered shut. “Holy shit,” I whispered, “Woah, woah, what are you doing?” I nearly shuddered in his arms at the unexpected contact.
“If we’re gonna do this,” I heard him mutter, low and quiet near my ear, “we’re gonna do it right.”
Oh. So he wanted Andrea to see. It didn’t change how the kiss made me feel—it was so visceral and sudden that my body had reacted, and I felt like I was melting under his touch, my cock starting to throb and harden.
Which was probably bad, considering Andrea was now very nearby.
“Oh Jesus,” she said, once she finally walked up to us. Eric finally pulled off me, and while I very much missed his lips on me, it was good—I didn’t need to be completely fucking hard in front of my show producer. The air was cool against the wet place he’d left on my neck.
“Sorry, Andrea,” Eric said, one arm still wrapped around me. “Thought we had some privacy out here on the balcony.”
“Well excuse me,” she said, a huge smile on her face. I realized she was as drunk as we were, and seemed to be having a great time. “So I didn’t realize you two….” She trailed off, hitching up an eyebrow at us.
“We didn’t want you to find out, but… guess you caught us,” Eric said, pressing another kiss to my hair.
“Well that’s lovely. I’m glad to hear it. I just wanted to tell you guys that I met a woman in there, and we got to talking—turns out her son is a huge fan of yours, Eric. Which means he will be a huge fan of Dash very soon. And I told her you guys would take a picture and sign a napkin
for her.”
“Totally,” Eric said, “We will.”
“Good,” Andrea replied, “I’ll send her out. And I’m glad to see you two together.”
“Yeah, we’ve been doing a lot of talking,” I said, finally finding my voice after being dumbstruck.
“I hope we’ll do more than just talk later tonight,” Eric said, almost purring.
Wow. He really wasn’t kidding about being into the fake boyfriend thing.
I laughed nervously and Andrea just rolled her eyes and smiled, walking back into the bar. She’d been long gone for at least a minute when I realized that Eric’s arm was still draped around me, his hand gently tousling my hair near the bottom of my neck. It was an exceedingly intimate little gesture, and yet there was no one out there who knew us, no one he had to be showing off for.
I reached behind my neck and clasped my hand over his, stilling it. “You can stop if you want to, you know,” I said, raising an eyebrow at him. “Andrea’s gone.”
He hitched up a shoulder in a lazy shrug. “She said she’s sending out that woman. And anyway, we’re in public, anyone around here could know who one of us is. That’s something you’ll have to get used to—not all fans come up and clamor for autographs or pictures. Some of them just watch from the sidelines, maybe try to sneak a photo, or just tweet to all their friends about seeing a former member of a boy band. Pretty soon they’re gonna be tweeting about you, too.”
“Okay, fine, that is a valid point.”
“It is,” he said. He repositioned himself so that he was facing me, my back pressed up against the railing of the balcony, and his hips pushing forward against mine, pinning me there. He dragged his hands from my shoulders, down my arms, and to my wrists, before taking my hands in his.
“So you’re saying we’ve gotta be… performing, at all times?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, looking up at me from under his thick lashes. “According to the whole world, we’re boyfriends. So we’re going to have to act like it. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve got an annoying little reputation for being a player, so if we want to convince people this is real, it’s gonna take a lot.”
He gripped my hands, interlacing our fingers tightly together, and then suddenly his lips were on mine, meeting me in a deep kiss. I let out a tiny moan of shock at first. He was being so forward already. I guess I should have expected it, but I’d thought we would ease into the whole “fake boyfriend” thing, little by little. But mentioning it seemed to have flipped a switch in Eric, and he was going full throttle.
After the initial surprise I finally leaned into him, kissing him back, and opening to him. As I felt his tongue slip against mine, I had to remind myself that this was fake, it wasn’t for real, it wasn’t what Eric really wanted.
Because God, did it feel amazing. When he kissed me I felt weightless, like I was being lifted into the sky, and like it didn’t matter whether it was fake or real or anything other than his lips on mine—I had to hold myself back from bucking my hips up against his.
Finally, he pulled away, and for a moment, he kept close to my face, his forehead resting against mine.
“You’re sure you want to do this still, Dash?” he asked, his voice a low like a warning.
“Yes,” I managed to say. “We’re doing this.”
He squeezed his hands to mine one more time and kissed me at my temple. I moved my hips, attempting to rearrange myself inside my jeans, trying to will away the hard-on that had come fiercely back.
“Eric Ronson?” a voice called out, and we both turned to face the building again. It was the fan Andrea had talked about, walking out with a pen, a napkin, and her cell phone.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, “I really don’t mean to be a bother. But my son is a huge fan and—”
“It’s no trouble at all,” Eric said, a warm smile spreading over his face. “Dash and I are happy to take a photo, and sign anything.”
“I’m so sorry—Andrea told me that Dash is on your new show?”
“Yes, he is,” Eric said, eyeing me. “And—I’ll let you in on a little secret, since your son is a huge fan—Dash and I are an item in real life, too.”
“Oh, wonderful!” she said, beaming. “Wow, don’t you two make a good-looking couple.”
I bit back a smile. We both signed the napkin, and then she walked to the other side of Eric, ready to take a selfie.
“Alright—1, 2, 3,” she said, and as she called out the last number, I turned to Eric and planted a kiss on his cheek. It was chaste, and sweet, and not at all too much, but it still sent a thrill through me.
Because we were doing it. Already. Taking the first steps to convince the world that we were dating. And as the woman walked away, leaving me and Eric on the balcony, it hit me just what it meant that we were doing this. Everyone was going to have to be convinced. Even Caleb, who I’m sure would eventually see photos of me and Eric together online. My parents, maybe. My friends. And everyone that knew Eric, too.
It made my heart race, a little. Because I’d never done anything even remotely like this.
“You know what’s weird?” Eric said, once we were alone again.
“What?”
He smiled a little. “When we first hired you—before you even accepted, actually—we thought you and I would be rivals on the show. You know, like playfully competitive, but still. We thought that’s what would be good to play up on the show. But then you got in front of the camera and were such a natural at seeming so warm and open, and… that went out the window.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I’m so warm and open on camera. Never in real life, huh?”
“No, definitely never,” Eric said, sarcasm in his voice. “But yeah, I admit, I like this better. I’d rather… have to pretend to be together, than be adversarial on camera.”
“Oh yeah? I’m actually kind of surprised to hear that,” I said.
“Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, “When you first met me, you just thought I was some idiot food blogger who had no place being on a TV show.”
“Hey!” he said, with mock surprise. “You thought I was just some guy from a boy band.”
“I still do,” I said, “But now I can finally admit—okay, fine, you know your way around a kitchen, too.”
“Damn right,” he said, nodding, looking out over the balcony. “God, it’s a beautiful night out. And I’m kind of drunk, but I sure as hell don’t wanna drive back with Devin.”
“Oh really? You don’t say? Glad I’m not the only one who hates how he drives,” I said with a laugh. “It’s like he doesn’t even look at the other people on the road. Worst designated driver ever, I don’t care how sober he is.”
“So let’s split a cab back to our neighborhood,” Eric said, turning to me. “We can get the fuck out of here. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t get any sleep last night, and I’m ready to just go home and pass out.”
I let out a long breath. “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep last night either,” I said, “I was so damn nervous. I mean, it’s live TV. I’m still kind of amazed we didn’t fuck anything up.”
“I would have if you hadn’t been there with me,” Eric said, with a note of sincerity in his voice. “Seriously, Dash—you’re… so good, out there. It’s really an amazing thing to see. I’m so glad to be doing this show with you.”
My pulse ticked up as he praised me. I still wasn’t used to it—I’d never been that good at anything before, but I did feel good on the set.
“Wow, an actual, genuine compliment from you,” I said. “But seriously. Thank you. It was… incredible, really. There’s no other word to describe it. It’s like nothing in the world matters as much anymore, if that makes sense. And I cannot wait to do it again.”
“It makes sense,” he said, with a nod. “It totally makes sense.”
There was a pause, and I looked down to the floor, then back up to meet his eyes.
“Let’s go the fuck home,” he said,
stepping back from the balcony, and holding his hand out to me, expectantly. I raised one eyebrow at him. “Yeah, c’mon,” he said, “when we’re in public, we’re committed. Hold my hand, Dash.”
I grabbed his hand, and walked behind him as he led me through the crowded bar, past all of our show and crew members, making sure that all of them saw that we were leaving together. I almost blushed as we walked by them, because I knew what they all were thinking.
Little did they know that Eric and I were both just going back to our own places, by ourselves, and going to sleep.
The cab pulled up to my house around midnight. I handed Eric half the cab fare in cash.
“Here’s to a great first show,” I said.
“Hang on,” he said, “Just a second,” he said to the cab driver, handing him the cash, “I’m gonna walk my boyfriend to his door.”
As we stepped out and started walking up the stone path to my front door, I turned to him.
“Really? Even the cabbie? He probably has no clue who we are, you didn’t have to say that.”
He shrugged. “You never know.” He smiled back at me, but I saw a sadness in his face that hadn’t been there before, even more prominent in the grey-blue moonlight.
“So this is your place? I like it,” Eric said looking at the small apartment building.
“Eh, it does the job,” I said. “It’s tiny, and definitely nothing as nice as yours. I’m… a little embarrassed, actually." I fiddled with my keys in my hand, wondering how long Eric was going to stay.
“Eh. My place is fine, but this is good too. It’s quaint.”
I puffed out a laugh. “Can’t see the ocean from here like you can from your house, though.”
Eric craned his neck up, looking at the second floor of the building. “Well… I dunno about that.” He looked at me, and suddenly he got a devilish look in his eye. “Hang on a sec,” he said. He jogged back over to the cab driver, pulling out a little more cash, and handing it through the window. As he walked back over to me, the cab sped away, disappearing down the street.
The Sweetest Star: Under the Stars Book 2 Page 11