But although there was chemistry between them, and she knew there was because she had felt it more than once, there was also something missing. Something was holding Derrick back. And yet she couldn’t put a finger on it.
Or could she?
Lexi had run off to join her mom, and Derrick, Jill noticed, was staring longingly at a young woman as she came through the back gate. It was Maggie, the attorney engaged to Derrick’s brother, Aaron.
And that’s when it struck her like a hammer to her head.
Derrick had feelings for Maggie. It was written all over his face. That’s why he’d been looking out the window, searching for her when they had run into Aaron downtown. Derrick was in love with Maggie, the woman who was engaged to be married to Derrick’s adopted brother, Aaron. A person would have to be blind not to see it.
At this very moment, across the yard, Derrick was fawning over Maggie like a starved dog finally getting a treat. If he had a tail, it would be wagging. His full attention was focused on Maggie as the pair headed her way.
“Maggie,” Derrick said, his eyes never leaving Maggie’s face. “I’d like you to meet Jill Garrison and my son, Ryan.”
Maggie wore a summer dress with a pair of strappy sandals. Her hair was sleek and blonde and pulled back at the sides with clips, revealing high cheekbones, perfect bow-shaped lips, and eyes as blue as the cloudless sky above them.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Maggie said as they exchanged a friendly handshake. “And look at Ryan. Oh, my, he’s beautiful,” Maggie said when Derrick’s mom pulled back the baby blanket so she could get a better look at him.
“He’s precious.” Maggie looked back at Derrick’s mom and said, “Aaron told me to say hello to everyone and to tell you he’d stop by next week.”
Jill watched Derrick watching Maggie. Her insides twisted.
Music started up in the distance, breaking her away from her thoughts. They all looked toward the barn where a medley of banjo and fiddle music could be heard. Derrick’s youngest sister, Zoey, jumped to her feet. Her long dark hair hung in one thick braid and it swung over her shoulder as she grabbed a hold of Jill’s hand. “Come on. You have to see this!”
Derrick’s mom insisted Jill go with Zoey, promising to take good care of Ryan while she was gone. She overheard Mrs. Baylor telling Derrick to go to the barn, too.
As Zoey pulled Jill toward the barn, Lexi shouted her name, waving for all she was worth. Lexi was riding the tiniest Shetland pony she’d ever seen. Sandy stood on one side of the pony while Jake stood on the other side. Jill knew that Sandy had hoped to see Connor today, but apparently he was a no show.
Inside the barn, bales of hay were stacked against the walls at different levels so guests could use the hay as seats. At the far wall was a live band that consisted of four men, all wearing overalls and playing instruments: two fiddlers, a guitar player, and a banjo player.
Jill felt as if she’d been transported to another time as Zoey dragged her to the middle of the barn. “Come on,” Zoey said, “it’s time to do a little square dancing.”
Jill laughed. “The last time I square danced was in fourth grade.”
The moment Derrick entered the barn, Zoey waved him over, telling him that Jill could use a lesson in square dancing. Before Jill could protest, Derrick placed his hands on Jill’s waist. “It’s easy,” he said. “Just follow my lead.”
Zoey went to stand before the band and shouted loud enough to be heard over the music. “Okay, people,” she said, “let’s dance.”
Four more couples of assorted ages joined Jill and Derrick on the straw-littered dance floor.
“I’ve seen most of you here before,” Zoey said into a microphone that somebody handed her, “so I’m not going to waste too much time explaining the Butterfly Whirl. Let’s get started.”
Derrick kept a firm hold of Jill’s waist and then told her to put her arm around his waist, too. She tried not to think about everyone watching them, but heat rose to her cheeks all the same. The couples moved in a circle until the music changed. Derrick let go of her hand and gave her a little push to get her moving toward the middle of the circle with the other four ladies. The men did a little jig that was just a few kicks and a heel-toe movement as they circled the women. The dance moves were easy to follow and the whole thing was surprisingly fun.
Jill laughed every time Derrick passed by, wiggling his brows and square dancing with exaggerated arm and leg movements.
“Now things are going to get a little tougher,” Zoey said. “It’s time for the gentlemen to allemande left, and then scoop up their partner and whirl back to place. Let’s go.”
Squeals of delight escaped her when Derrick took her by the waist again and picked her up so high she felt as if she was flying through the air. He finally put her down and held her until she had her balance again.
“Okay, people, it’s time for the do-si-do. Bow to your corner, bow to your own. Three hands up and ’round you go. Break it up with a do-si-do. Chicken in the bread pan kickin’ out dough.”
Everybody faced each other, moved clockwise and first passed shoulder to shoulder, and then back-to-back. Next their left shoulders passed, before they all ended up where they started.
They stuck with the do-si-do long enough for Derrick to add a spin while performing the move.
Jill couldn’t help but smile. “Show off.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet.”
“Somebody has a big head.”
“Who?” He looked around.
She laughed at his silliness as she followed along with the group and hooked her arm around his elbow. He twirled her in a circle before he let go and she found herself face to face with his brother, Connor.
He bowed. She curtsied.
“Well, hello there,” Connor said, his voice an octave deeper than Derrick’s.
“Nice to see you again,” she replied before they stepped shoulder to shoulder and then back again.
“Did your friend come with you today?” he asked.
Jill nodded. “She’s with Lexi and the ponies.”
They hooked arms at the elbows, twirled, and then changed partners. She did this three more times until she was paired with Derrick again.
“I missed you,” he said.
“I doubt that.”
“It’s the truth.” He picked her up by the waist, his eyes never leaving hers as he twirled her about, making her blush, something she seemed to be doing a lot of lately.
“Time for all you kind folk to make a basket,” Zoey called out.
And before Jill could bow out, she found herself doing what all the other ladies were doing, raising her arms up and around her partner’s neck. Derrick took hold of her waist and lifted her from the ground.
Pressed up against him, she felt every nerve ending in her body sizzle and crackle. For a fleeting moment in time, Jill thought he might kiss her, but then the music stopped and the dance was done.
~~~
“Look what the cat dragged home,” Jake said, gesturing with his chin toward the house.
Sandy looked over her shoulder and tried not to look too obviously pleased by Connor’s presence when she saw him approaching.
“Wook at me!” Lexi shouted, making Jake wince.
“It’s La La Look not Wook.”
“Wa Wa Wook!” she shouted with glee.
Sandy had already explained to Jake that she’d taken Lexi to a speech therapist, who told her that once more teeth came in Lexi would be able to pronounce her Ls, but he and his brothers didn’t appear to believe her.
“Hey,” Connor said as he caught up to them. “How’s it going?”
Jake had hold of the reins and he didn’t slow down to wait for his brother.
Sandy held onto Lexi’s leg and walked backwards so she could keep up with Jake and yet talk to Connor. “As you can see, we’re all having fun.” Connor had looked nice in a suit last week, but in jeans and a T-shirt, he took her breath away. His arms we
ren’t as built as his brother Derrick’s, but he definitely worked out on a regular basis. As he caught up to her, she noted that he smelled good too, like fresh hay mixed with a hint of spicy cologne.
Connor walked at her side and reached out to stroke the pony’s wiry mane. “This is Peanuts. Peanuts used to be my pony,” he told Lexi. “My brothers and I all used to play cowboys and Indians and Peanuts was the fastest of the bunch. Nobody could catch us.”
“He’s wrong,” Jake told Lexi. “After Connor left for college, Mom said he was mine and Peanuts here has been my pony ever since.”
“Okay children,” Sandy teased, “enough.”
Connor chuckled, but Jake didn’t look happy about having Connor around.
About six inches taller than Jake, Connor towered over his brother, making it easy for him to reach over and rub his knuckles over the top of Jake’s head. “You can have Peanuts, okay?”
“He’s all yours,” Jake said, handing him the reins. “I promised Sandy I would teach her to square dance. No time like the present.”
Sandy didn’t know what to say. She preferred to stay and talk to Connor, but she had expressed interest when Jake had mentioned square dancing earlier.
“I would love to,” she told Jake, thinking fast, “but I better stay with Lexi.”
“Don’t worry, Connor will keep an eye on her, right Connor?”
Connor glanced from his brother to Sandy. “It would be my pleasure.”
Sandy inwardly scolded herself for telling Jake she would dance with him. She’d been waiting for Connor to arrive all afternoon and now that he was finally here, she had to leave him. Sometimes life just wasn’t fair. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Go have fun. Lexi and I will be fine.”
“Lexi, you be a good girl for Connor, okay?”
Her curls bobbed when she nodded. “I wike him.”
Connor laughed.
“I’ll hurry back,” Sandy said, but Jake grabbed her hand and pulled her along before she could add anything else, or gaze into his eyes for a few minutes longer, or think of an excuse to reach out and touch him. When she and Jake got as far as the barn, she looked over her shoulder and watched Connor lead Peanuts in another circle and at the same time laugh at something Lexi said.
Then he turned her way, as if he knew she’d be looking.
~~~
After her third dance, Sandy took a seat on a bale of hay next to Jill and wiped her brow. “Thank you, Jake. That was fun.”
“I’ll grab you both some punch and I’ll be right back.”
“I think Jake has a crush on you,” Jill said. “What happened to Connor?”
“He’s leading the pony around with Lexi. To tell you the truth, I wanted to dance with Connor, but by the time Jake had asked me to dance, I didn’t think Connor was going to show up anyhow. I feel like I’m back in high school.”
Jill laughed as she brushed hay from her pants.
Sandy gestured a hand toward Derrick and the woman he was talking to. “Is that his attorney?”
“Yes, it is. She’s also his adopted brother’s fiancée. Her name is Maggie.”
They both watched Derrick as he chatted with the woman.
Sandy’s eyes narrowed. “What’s going on with the whole court thing, anyhow? Is he still going to try to get partial custody of Ryan?”
“I guess we’ll be discussing all of that before a court assigned mediator in a few weeks.”
“Maybe if you just agree to let him see Ryan four times a year that will satisfy him and you won’t have to bother with mediation.”
Jill chewed on her bottom lip. “I really don’t know what to do at this point. I really should talk to Thomas about it.”
“There are thousands of attorneys out there. You don’t need to get Thomas involved.”
Jill sighed as she continued to watch Derrick and Maggie. “What do you think about those two? I met Aaron, Derrick’s adopted brother and Maggie’s fiancé, the day Derrick and I took Ryan to his doctor appointment. There was some obvious animosity between the two brothers.”
“Interesting.”
“And then yesterday,” Jill went on, “before my date with Ryan’s pediatrician, Nate Lerner, I saw Maggie at Derrick’s apartment. When I asked him about her visit, he played it off as if it was nothing, said she was just helping him decorate Ryan’s room.”
“I didn’t know you went out with Ryan’s pediatrician.”
Jill nodded. “It was supposed to be dinner and a movie, but he was called away to be in the delivery room for an emergency c-section. Instead, I ended up watching a movie with Derrick—after he walked into my apartment unannounced and caught me half-dressed.”
“This just keeps getting better and better.” Sandy angled her head as she looked closely at Jill. “He’s growing on you, isn’t he?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Yes. Sometimes Derrick looks at me as if I’m the only woman in the world and other times he just looks confused.”
“Men.”
“Yeah.”
“If God was a woman, she wouldn’t have been so cruel.”
Jake returned with a glass of punch for each of them, putting an end to any further talk of Derrick Baylor.
~~~
“Thanks so much for having me and Ryan at your house today,” Jill told Phil Baylor. “I had a wonderful time.”
“I should be thanking you for bringing Ryan. It meant a lot to all of us.” He gave her a hug. “While you retrieve your son,” he told her, “I’ll grab the rest of your things.” He pointed to her left. “Ryan is asleep in Derrick’s old bedroom down the hall to the left. I’ll be right there.”
“Thank you.” As Jill headed down the hallway, she took her time looking at all the family pictures hanging on the walls. Apparently it wasn’t easy squeezing ten kids into one picture because in most of the pictures someone’s head or body was cut off by the frame. There were photos of Derrick playing football and of all the Baylor boys riding horses and ponies and swinging from ropes in the barn. A large section of the wall was devoted to ribbons and awards they had won at horse and pony shows.
Voices caught her attention as she neared the first bedroom. She recognized Derrick’s voice and when she peeked through the partially open door, she saw Derrick and Maggie standing near the portable crib. Derrick’s mother stood on the opposite side and was about to pick up Ryan when Maggie held up two pieces of paper and said, “I have some very good news.” She jiggled the paper in her hand. “Guess what this is?”
“I have no idea,” Derrick said.
Mrs. Baylor paid no attention as she scooped Ryan into her arms.
“Not only is it the letter you sent to CryoCorp,” Maggie said excitedly, “but a copy of the check CryoCorp cashed, proving they received the letter and the check within days of the date you said you mailed it. Not only will CryoCorp be forced to admit to their part in this mess, the judge will have no choice but to give you half custody of Ryan.”
Derrick’s father had returned with Jill’s things. He coughed to let everyone know he and Jill were standing at the door.
Everyone turned their way.
Jill’s stomach churned and her eyes stung. She didn’t know what to say; she only knew she needed to leave right this minute. She never should have come today. She had wanted to play fair, but now something stirred inside of her, something deep and dark and scary, something telling her she needed to be wary of Derrick and his family. Not because they might not be good people—her instincts told her they wanted only the best for her and Ryan—but because she needed to be the one who decided what was best for her and her son. Although she’d truly started to believe she might be able to handle Derrick being a part of Ryan’s life, she wasn’t ready to give Derrick half custody or any say at all when it came to Ryan.
Unsure of what to say, she stepped forward. Derrick’s mom handed Ryan over. As Jill held her baby close to her chest, her gaze connected with Derrick’s. “I should go. I n
eed to get Ryan home.”
“I’m sorry,” Maggie said, and Jill wasn’t sure if the apology was meant for her alone or for Derrick’s family, too, but it didn’t matter. If anything, Jill felt as if she should be thanking Maggie for making her see how quickly she’d reverted back to doing exactly what she’d been doing her entire life—trying to please everyone else. She had a son now and she needed to put his welfare above all else. Ryan was her son, and nobody, including Derrick Baylor and his family, was going to take him away from her.
The ride home was almost more than Jill could handle. Lexi and Ryan fell fast asleep when she needed the distraction most. Sandy had on her earphones and was listening to her iPod. Her eyes were closed.
“I’m sorry about the situation with the letter,” Derrick said. “I know what you’re thinking and I want you to know that nobody was trying to hide anything from you.”
Jill’s gaze was directed out the window. She watched the sunset behind row after row of houses and trees as it all swept by in a hazy blur. She didn’t want to talk about this now. She needed to think, to plan, to decide what her next step was going to be.
“You’re not going to talk to me?”
“I spent months enduring injections and medications,” Jill blurted out, unrehearsed. “For eight and a half months I carried my baby inside of me. I ate right and exercised every day. Ryan belongs to me and nobody is going to take him away from me.”
“I would never take him away from you.”
“Then why are you proceeding with this mediation thing?”
“We haven’t known each other very long. Doesn’t it make sense that I would want some sort of formalized document stating your agreement that Ryan is also my son and I can spend time with him?”
She reached for her purse, rifled through it and pulled out a pen and paper. She scribbled the words: Derrick Baylor is the father of my son, Ryan Michael Garrison. Then she stared at the paper for a moment longer before she crumpled the paper and tossed it to the floor. “I think you should have blood tests taken.”
Having My Baby Page 15