by Erica Hale
“I believe you, Mom. If you want to wait to tell me, I would understand, really. I trust you.”
“I have to stop treating you like some little kid. You are a young man and you need to know.” I inhaled and started. “She, another friend of ours, Erron, and I all went to high school together. With a ton of hard work and dedication we all were accepted to the University of Washington. The three of us were all on academic scholarships.”
“I think you told me all of this before. The three of you guys were thick as thieves or whatever.”
“Something like that.”
I could remember us standing in front of my mom’s house. We were all smiling for the multiple camera flashes in our caps and gowns. We were so young and stupid.
“Well, in our first year, your mom meets this guy. Terrence. I mean, she lived and breathed this guy.” I squinted. “Matter of fact, you look like a better looking version than him.”
I pinched Anthony’s cheek and he rolled his eyes.
“Anyway. Your mom and Terrence were madly in love, and by the beginning of our junior year, you came along.”
“Yeah, the biggest mistake of the century.”
He huffed.
“Hey, you don’t say shit like that. You weren’t a mistake; the two of them just weren’t ready to become parents. Like what nineteen-year-old is ready to bring a life into this world?”
“Like you were. You two were the same age.”
“True. Your mom made a choice. One that she regrets.”
He sat up straight. “You talk to her?”
“Yes. Every few months she’ll hit me up and ask about you. I email her your class picture from the time you were in kindergarten to now and until you graduate.”
He didn’t say anything at first. He just let the new reality sink in. That I had lied and his mother didn’t die in child birth. That I email her every now and then.
“What happened?”
“I stayed with your mom through the whole delivery. She did great.”
“Terrence didn’t show, did he?”
Anthony spoke his man like he had mouth full of dog mess. It was a mix of disgust and anger.
“No, he didn’t. But you were so cute, all red and wrinkled. With the biggest feet on a baby, my God--”
“Mom, just give it to my straight.”
“It took almost seven hours before you came out, so after, I let you and your mom rest. I went home to sleep and was back the next morning. When I got there, your mom was out of her hospital gown and fully dressed, sitting on the side of the bed. She was crying. She said that she didn’t deserve you, how you were so little and perfect.” I closed my eyes and tried to put it as gently as I could. “Your mom didn’t come from the best of families. Her dad had run off with another woman by the time me and your mom were in middle school. Her mom took up drinking, so your mom didn’t really know how to function in love, you know. At least the caring part. Then, couple that with Terrence not returning any of her phone calls. Simply dropping off the face of the planet when he found out that she was carrying you. For her, love had walked away, or in this context had run away, and she didn’t know how to get it back.”
“So, she was an asshole then?” Anthony asked, more out of pain than out of anger.
I hunched my shoulders. “Yeah, in ways. Just like I can be at times and you too.” I took in a deep breath, continuing on with my truth. “So, she said that she wanted to stretch her legs, get some fresh air. Your mom walked out of the hospital, and that was the last time that I’d seen her.”
“Just like that?” I nodded. “She walked away from me like you walk away from trash. I mean I’m glad that you were there.”
“I’d just turn nineteen two months prior. I couldn’t legally adopt you, so my parents did. I took a year off, thank God the school understood. I wanted to get to know you because you were my responsibility. One thing that your mom told me was that I was to be your godmother and I took that job seriously.”
“Thank you for being there. You could have put me in the foster system and went on with your life. You had every right to just leave, shit, she did. You could have finished school on time with the rest of your classmates. Thank you, Mom," he said, leaning his big head on my shoulder.
“I wanted to tell you. Just wanted you to get to an age that you would understand that she left, not because she didn’t love you, but she didn’t know how to love you. Your mom was kind of broken by her first love. It had nothing to do with you, she needed to heal. I think when she got to that point, you and I were already an established family.”
“Did she say that to you? Did she feel like coming back into my life would kind of hurt me in a way?”
“Not hurt you but confuse you. She’s always loved you and always will.”
“I get it. Thanks.”
Standing and placing a kiss on his forehead, I said, “Get some sleep.”
“Mom, why did we move here?”
“I’ll tell you everything on the ride back to Seattle.”
★★★★★★★★★★
“So, he took it that well, huh?”
It was after midnight my time, but I was up retelling Erron about the truth with Anthony.
“That’s good that you finally told him. Every man needs to know where he comes from to know where he is going.”
Pulling the covers up over my legs, I snuggled down in my bed. “I hate that those inbreeds told him the distorted version of what happened. They were trying their hardest to forge a wedge between me and my kid.”
“Whoa there, Momma bear. No need to go all primal on them. I can’t defend two lunatics, only one at a time.”
“About that.”
“No. Lauren, you tried and that is all that I could have asked you to do. It was selfish for me to even ask you to do this. I’ve put you and Ant in some danger. Just come home and I promise that I will take you to a Seahawk game.”
In my life, I have been challenged by peers and won. Set goals for myself and checked each of them off my list. Losing wasn’t in my vocabulary, but I was looking down the dark hallway of defeat.
“Erron, it wasn’t like you put a gun to my head--”
“Shit, you might have one to your head if you don’t get out of that town. Tyson told me about them backwatered bastards.”
“By the way, thank you for calling him. I was running around in circles.”
“Don’t mention it.” He paused. “Look. You just need to get back here.”
“You’re talking like you miss me or something.” I smirked.
Erron chuckled. “Girl, you already know that if I put it on you, you wouldn’t be able to function. You’d be hanging around the courthouse to get a little taste.”
I couldn’t help but bust out laughing. “You are a fool. You know that? A little taste, boy please. I’d have you at my job scratching looking like an addict, all white around the mouth. Talking about, ‘Excuse me Miss but can you do for me what you did earlier for me please?’
“You stupid. We both know that it would never work out.”
“Why is that?”
He cleared his throat. “Because I’m prettier than you.”
It wasn’t like I was holding back, but I couldn’t help but laugh even harder. “You know that I needed this, right?” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “I so needed this laugh, thank you E.”
“You think I’m joking, but I do look better than you do.” Erron trying to hold back his own laughter and hold on to the joke. “But maybe I could be your trophy. You work all day and I stay home and watch the kid. What if I promise not to gain any weight and have the house clean?” He chuckled. “I can’t cook, but my fingers aren’t broken, so I could order some food.”
Catching my breath, I said, “Never. Man brings home the bacon and I fry it in the pan.”
Erron started to speak, but the light tap on my front door got my attention.
“E, let me call you back. Someone is at my door.”
/> I stood on shaking legs, walking to my bedroom door.
“Hell no. I will stay on the line until you answer it.”
I cracked my bedroom door and my son was coming down the hall with his bat.
“This time I’m coming down there with you.”
The two of us crept down the stairs with Erron on the phone.
“Anthony, you need to stand back,” I demanded, stepping in front of him to look through the peephole.
I sighed as my still shaky hand opened the door.
“Francine, what in the hell are you doing at my house? It’s almost one in the morning.”
Francine stood there with her hands deep in her pockets.
“I needed to talk to you,” Francine looked over her shoulder and the abandoned street. “Can’t talk about this at work.”
“Erron, we are all good. It’s just my co-worker, I’ll call you in the morning.”
Erron wished me a good night, he also said not to worry and get home soon.
Anthony towered over me and gave Francine the side eye.
“You good, Mom?"
“Yes, son. Now get some sleep. Come on in, Francine,” I offered, opening the door wide for her to step through.
Giving me a tired smile, she spoke behind her, “You can come out now.”
Turning into view was a woman from what I could tell wearing a black hoodie. She was coming up my walk way.
“Lauren, this is Nadine Waterman. Nadine, this is Lauren Neilson. The two of you are going to need a big pot of coffee, and a pen and pad to compare notes.”
It was late, I had been through the fourth level of hell just this week, but the presence of Nadine made me smile. Finally, I was getting what I came here for. Answers.
Chapter 5
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Nadine said with her hand out to shake mine.
She pulled back her hoodie and a mass of ink black hair cascaded out. I couldn’t put my finger on it but she had that exotic look about her. Dark green eyes, olive tone.
“The pleasure is all mine. Both of you come in.” I flicked on the light to the kitchen and Francie went into action.
She began opening cupboards and turning on the faucet.
“Um, can you please tell me what the hell you are doing?” I asked.
“Making coffee, you ladies are going to need it.”
Francine found what she was looking for and put a pot on.
I excused myself for a second to put on a pair of sweatpants, a bra and U of W tee shirt.
“So, how can I help you ladies tonight?” I asked, knowing full and damn well that any news this time of night was never the good kind. But, it was exactly what I needed to get this boulder moving in the right direction.
Francine handed me a cup of boiling, black coffee and looked over to Nadine. “Look, I’m not here to beat around bushes or try to sugar coat a thing with you. If you don’t know by now, you and your family are in the thick of it,” Nadine said, blowing over her mug of coffee. “This town is not the picturesque place that you see on a post card. We are talking about drug, extortion, police corruption, you name it and its living and breathing right here in Planters.”
I sat down at my kitchen table and eyed the two women. “How did you get wrapped up in this?”
Nadine smiled. “I was fresh out of NYU. My folks had roots in Augusta and the paper was hiring.” She shrugged. “Wanting to start small and build up on my resume, I worked special interest pieces, then got promoted to courtroom journalist.”
“When did you find out? When did you know that this place isn’t Small-town USA?” I asked.
“It wasn’t too long after I started with the courtroom. Shit didn’t add up; lawyers were tight lipped more than expected. First, I thought it was because I’m a woman. Then I thought it was because of how I looked.” She noticed my uncomfortable smile and laughed. “To answer the burning question, my father is Dutch and Irish and my mother is Afro Caribbean. Hense, the dark skin and green eyes.” She held Francine’s hand. “Some people here don’t take too kindly to anything darker than copy paper.”
Francine retuned her squeeze of her hand.
“The second that you said you wanted to go into the archive room, I knew then that you were going to stumble into something,” Francine said. “So, I got in contact with Nadine and we started to talk.”
I smiled at Nadine. “Francine implied that you were dead,” I said, looking over to Francine.
“I told her to. I had to get out with my life.”
“So, what was the last straw? Why did you leave the paper?” I inquired, taking a sip of my coffee.
Nadine shook her head. “First, it was little things. My tires were slashed.” That made me sit up at attention. “Then, the phone calls at all times of the night. Threats of what they would do to me if I didn’t back off. I knew that there were drugs being funneled in, so I knew I was getting close. A little bit too close. Unlike you, I don’t have any loved ones that they could threaten harm to. My apartment was broken into, my home computer and laptop destroyed. Granted, I had backups, but they made their point clear. I needed to get out of Planters and I did. As a journalist, we can never be afraid of what we find, but if I stayed here, I would be dead.”
“My goodness,” I said. I sympathized, recalling all the mess I had been through in the last few weeks. “So where have you been?”
“I moved out to Atlanta and tried to get my life back on track. Make sure that whoever was behind all of this knew that they scared me off the trial. I swore that I would never come back here, but Francine told me about you and I knew then that I couldn’t keep hiding. I want to blow this thing up.”
“I’m with you,” I said, trying to reassure myself.
I knew that I was putting Anthony in danger and my own life at risk.
“So, tell me,” Nadine leaned back in her chair. “Why are you here?”
Trust, for me, was a long and ugly road, so divulging my entire plan wasn’t something that I wanted to share. “I had a lead in Washington that brought me here. I’m looking for justice for the life of an innocent man that was taken from this earth too soon.”
“Thomas Clay, huh?”
My mouth must have hit the kitchen table. “Yes, how did you--”
“Francine swore by you, but I had to make sure that you were legit.” I smiled. I guess her road of trust was just as bad as mine. “Clay had just left once I got on the paper. That piece of garbage is a stain where ever he goes. I read your article about him, you were honest without bias. I like that. You told the complete truth about him.”
“What do you know?” I asked.
Nadine hunched her shoulders and leaned back. “Like I said, he was already out of dodge when I got here, but I know he is rattlesnake, mean, and he has a fuse shorter than a lamb tail.”
“If I could just figure out something to get him hemmed up my life would be perfect.”
“Girl, perfect isn’t always perfect.” Nadine laughed. “There are thousands of Clay’s, not just in Planters, but everywhere.”
“Well, let’s just get this one and slay those dragons when we get to them.”
“I love the way you think,” Nadine said as she looked out my kitchen window into the dark. “Tomorrow we are having what you will call a come to Jesus meeting at the church. Some pastors and other community leaders are going to be there to discuss that main thing on the docket, police corruption and brutality.”
I thought about the cop that was in my house, how he put me in handcuffs. How that bastard talked to my son.
“We have to get in where we fit in. Then the drug smuggling and the other shit must come later. But I really want you to be there and give your input.”
“I’ll be there.”
Both ladies stood.
“Good. Now get some sleep, and I know that I don’t have to tell you that you never saw me.” I nodded. “Great, I will see you around four in the afternoon. Bring your son; he’ll have a ball. Wh
en it gets dark, we are going to have fireworks.”
My face twisted. “Fireworks?”
Francine slapped me on my back. “Oh you didn’t know Nadine; they don’t celebrate the fourth in Washington.”
★★★★★★★★★★
He watched the two women drive back out into the night. Leland chugged at his bottled water and rubbed his eyes.
Just go back to the house, he thought.
He was currently sitting in his wrecker four houses down from hers in the dark. Granted, he killed all the recording devices in her house, but he still wondered whether she was talking about him to those women.
Leland knew that she was stuck between hell and more hell. There was no way she was going to go to the cops. Ernest and Forrest were banking on it.
“Shit!"
He slapped his palm on the steering wheel.
Looking down at his cell phone, he saw another missed call from Ernest. What in world was he going to tell him? Ernest could very well see that Lauren was still at home and not running out of her house screaming her head off. Leland had to think of a good lie before Ernest wanted to complete the mission that he gave to him.
He thought he was a lot of things, asshole yes. Drug smuggler, yes. Professional liar, yes. But being unnecessarily cruel to woman? No.
Leland blinked a few times and wiggled down into his seat. He was going to be here all night if he had to be. Even if she didn’t want him to, he was going to protect her.
Chapter 6
I wasn’t certain if it was the jet fuel that Francine passed off as coffee, knowing Clay could be walking out as a free man, or my impending demise that had me up for the remainder of the night.
Curled up in my bed, I watched the sun pull itself from the other side of the earth to show its face. I texted Erron to let him know about the meeting I was having this afternoon. He was most likely still sleep and won’t return my text to later.
Taking slow and soft steps to the end of the hall, I peeked in on my son. Anthony had one long, hairy leg poking from up under the covers. His toes barely grazing the floor. Hair spiking all over his head.