by Nana Malone
I knew that the king being with a commoner was against the rules. And while Michael was my brother, I still didn’t trust him, not entirely. So I said what I could. “There was nothing happening between us. Your advice is well noted, and I appreciate it, but I won’t be running from anything. Whatever decisions I’ve made, I did so because I wanted to make them. You ran away from home once, and it was a wild adventure, but I like to make decisions after I think them through, not spontaneously. If I do that, someone else will always control my life, and that’s not what I want.”
Michael nodded slowly. “Okay. I’m just saying if there were something that you wanted that maybe you thought you couldn’t have … then maybe just remember that there are people here who have the ultimate power. Laws can be changed and traditions can be modified. I wouldn’t give up on something you want. Hey, even if whatever you wanted leads you away from here, away from home … ” He nodded and shuffled his feet. “Just know that I support you, whatever you want to do. Maybe I haven’t always been there for you like I should, but I want to change that.”
Tears pricked my lids and I blinked rapidly. This was the most I’d talked to Michael maybe in a year, other than about our jobs or Mom and Dad, and for the first time, I felt like we had some common ground. “Thank you. I’ll definitely give it some thought.”
“You do that. In the meantime, since Dad isn’t here and I don’t think you have a shift until this afternoon, how about you and I actually do something that you used to love? Want to head over to that beach café and see if you can find some polished shells for Mom?”
I laughed. “We haven’t done that since I was, what, ten?”
He shrugged. “I know. But maybe you can use them for art or inspiration or something.”
“I don’t know about the art. Since I’ve been back, I’m sort of seeing some things I need to give up. You know, to grow up a little.”
Surprisingly, my brother looked sad, a little broken. With his brows furrowed and his mouth set in a frown, he said, “Now that would be a sad thing, Penny. Please take this the best way possible, but you don’t belong here. You should be painting.”
6
Sebastian
“So how are you doing really?”
I knew the voice before I even turned around.
“What’s up Roone? You know those secret passages are meant for me to escape my paramours back and forth, not for my best friend to sneak up on me and fuss over me like an old nanny.”
I could feel the smile in Roone’s voice. “Well, I had been perfecting my fucking technique. But seriously, how are you doing?”
I turned to face him and leaned against the balcony outside my bedroom, convincing myself that I hadn’t been staring to the southeast this whole time, toward Penny, toward what felt like home. “I feel fine.”
Roone adopted a similar stance. “Oh yeah? Is that why you look lovesick and heartbroken and why you look like you’re white knuckling through every day? Like you’re an addict that hasn’t had a hit but the thing you need is just out of reach.”
“You know what? I can get you off my personal service and you don’t have to look at me.”
“I’ve grown used to it, you ugly runt.” He shrugged. “Besides, you need me around to show all the women what they could have instead of you.”
I laughed. “I’ve always maintained that you might be the better choice.”
“Yeah, but I’m no king.”
I almost said, ‘Neither am I.’
But that wasn’t true anymore, was it? I was the king.
“I guess that banter doesn’t work anymore.”
“Just tell me what you need then. I know you have a lot on your shoulders, and you have to lean on people because it’s going to take a while to get your bearings.”
I nodded. “I know. It’s just, every time I have a question or I need something, I automatically want to call him, you know?”
Roone nodded. “Yeah, it’s the same way with my mum. I couldn’t get used to the fact that she was gone and that I’d never talk to her again.”
“My mom’s great and extremely helpful. It’s just that it’s a lot. Most days, I don’t even know where to start.”
Roone was probably the only person I could talk to about any of this.
He’d saved my ass so many times back at school, just like I had saved his in some ways he didn’t even know. He’d been at Eton on scholarship. His dad died when he was little, and his mom couldn’t afford to send him there. His mother got sick during our last year in school, and there was no way she could afford all the incidental bills.
Roone had been mentally drowning trying to figure out how to beg, borrow or steal enough to finish school. I eventually just paid her medical bills so he could have some peace of mind. But I knew he was proud, so I never told him. I just let him think that she’d been accepted into some experimental trial which meant free treatment. Unfortunately, she still passed away. But she’d had the best available care at the end.
He went straight for the cupboard and poured himself a drink. Then he sank into one of the oversized leather armchairs. “It is just your dad? Or are you a head case over the bird too?”
Yes to both. “I’m not a head case. Besides, she doesn’t matter.”
It was amazing how good of a liar I’d become.
Roone took a long sip. “You sure about that? I saw you desperately trying to fuck her in the solarium at the church. Who the fuck did you think it was calling you?”
My heart raced as I thought back to that day. Had I even checked who called? I’d been in such a fog of grief and desperation. I’d left her and then buried my grief so I could be there for my mother during the procession.
“That was a fluke. It was just the grief talking. It hasn’t happened again. Nor will it. I am the king now, and anything between us wasn’t real.”
“Are you sure about that, mate? I saw you with her. I saw the way you both were trying not to look at each other during the service.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not fucking sure, but she’s off the list, Roone. It would be bad for the both of us. Besides, my father sent her to me. She was a way to control me, and it worked. You’ve seen her. I fell for it.” I shook my head. “And I can’t even be angry at the dead man for his last attempts to control me.”
“You can think that shit isn’t real all you want, but I suggest you start believing it or find someone else. Because I’m your best mate, of course I can see it. But you keep this up this denial and it won’t be long before someone else notices.”
I swallowed hard. “Notices what?”
“That you’re in love with her.”
Shit. If he saw it that easily, then he was right. Someone else would see it. I avoided his question. “Listen, I spoke to Ethan the other day. He told me something that we cannot repeat outside these walls.”
“Okay, what’s going on, mate?”
I always found it fascinating how easily Roone could change focus. When we were alone, I would just be a mate for him. But outside these walls, I was Your Highness, or now, Your Majesty, and he could smoothly move into business mode. “Well, Ethan suspects that Dad didn’t have a heart attack. He thinks that he was poisoned to make it look like a heart attack.”
“Fucking hell.” He ran his hands through his hair and pushed out of his seat. “Is he sure?”
I nodded. “As sure as he can be without an autopsy. There are certain protocols to be followed, and we don’t want to sound any alarms just yet. So the first step is he wants to get some blood tested.”
“How is that even possible? We already buried your father.”
“Seems Dad knew someone was up to no good. He had a whole protocol set up. Ethan was the one to find him. He took a sample of his blood and sent it for testing.”
Roone shook his head. “This could rock the foundation of everything. What are you going to do?”
“I need to know what happened because our lives were supposed to be com
pletely different. Everything was supposed to be different. Now he’s gone, and I’m king. I will find out what happened to him.”
“If you do this, I’ll back you a hundred percent. You will be opening a can of worms though. Are you ready for that?”
I nodded. “If someone took my father out, I want their heads on a spike.”
“I understand that. I do. But you’re the monarch; you can’t take revenge. Just make sure you’re going for justice, okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I understand.” Roone had a point. I wasn’t the prince anymore. I couldn’t just go out and do what I wanted. I had to be smart. No one could know we suspected, because if Ethan was right, we had a murderer in our midst, and I had to protect my brother and sister.
* * *
Penny
My hands were sweaty.
What in the world would Sebastian want with me?
You know what he wants.
I’d stayed out of his way, hadn’t I? Since the funeral, I’d given him a wide berth.
Dad had put me back on the queen’s service officially, but unofficially I was still tailing Sebastian and keeping watch. The queen only really needed to see me in the morning. The rest of the time she was so busy, she didn't seem to notice I wasn’t officially one of her guards. Considering what she was going through, she’d been unbelievably gracious to me. Honestly, I was mostly on secretarial and fetch duty.
So while I was watching the king regent, those duties got handed off. Even though King Cassius was gone, his directive still stood. I had to take care of his son and keep him safe. Was there any normal after this?
It wasn’t like I could just go back to my life. Everything was different now: Michael, Robert, my parents, and the way people even looked at me, like with respect. It was something I certainly wasn’t used to. Some of the most senior members of the guard treated me as if I was in some special club, asking my opinions on things when we were in meetings. It was bizarre.
The younger members of the guard wanted to hear how I’d managed to find Sebastian. I gave them a cover story since only my family, Ariel, and now Sebastian knew I’d been sent by the king.
Well, there are other stories, but not ones you can tell.
Besides, no one needed to know about the first time Sebastian and I kissed, or the next time we kissed, or just what we’d been doing when the motorcycle guy had tried to kill us. I was no hero. I was a fake.
But you still saved him, so you are a hero. Well, I didn’t feel like one. Especially not when the man I loved hated me now. I understood it though. I got it. He should be angry with me. I lied. I had broken his trust. I’d pretended to be something I wasn’t, and he was hurt by that.
So I deserved everything I got, despite how uncomfortable that might make me. But I couldn’t fathom what on earth he wanted from me now. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.
It turned out, no matter how much I tried to still myself or prepare to see him, it would never be enough because, well, it was Sebastian. Despite myself, I loved him.
He looked up from his desk, and my heart stopped. Damn. Had he always been this good-looking? But there was something different about him now too. He looked a bit older, sterner. Maybe it was the power.
“Penelope.”
I curtsied and tried not to shiver at the way he said my name. “Your Majesty.” I wished I’d put on something different. I worked on his mother’s service now, and I was indoors most of the time doing absolutely nothing. But she still could occasionally receive members of court, so I had worn a simple pencil skirt and a sweater.
He studied me closely. “I’d like to apologize for the last time we saw each other.”
I frowned. “I beg your pardon?”
He stood, and I couldn’t help but drink in the sight of him. “Because, well, I was weak.”
“Weak, Your Majesty?”
“Yes, I was … emotional.”
I shook my head. “Of course. That’s completely understandable. Why would you apologize?”
He walked around the desk, and I couldn’t help taking a step back. Hey, self-preservation, right?
“Yes, but I was more vulnerable than I intended to be.”
Oh, well, there was that. “It’s already forgotten, Your Majesty.” I shifted in my black heels, wishing I had my tennis shoes on. “Is that all you wanted to see me about?”
“No. Mostly I wanted to see if it was still there.”
I knew what he meant. I knew better than to ask.
“And it is. I can still feel it. To me, you feel like Len. And I don’t want to feel like this.”
Yeah well, welcome to the party. “Your Majesty, I’m sorry my presence disturbs you.” What the hell else was I supposed to say?
“It disturbs me just knowing that it’s possible that you’re somewhere in the palace. I can’t concentrate on what I need to do.”
My hand went to my stomach. Oh God, was I being fired? No one in my family had ever been sacked from duty. “Should I clean out my things?”
He frowned. “What? Why? No, I’m not firing you. I’m putting you on my personal service. That way, I can desensitize myself to this feeling of being near you. I want it gone. I want to kill it. The only way to do that is to see you every day. I’ll just become numb to it.”
I wasn’t sure why, but this was somehow … worse. “Oh.”
He nodded. “Yeah, oh. You’ll be part of my personal detail.”
“Begging Your Majesty’s pardon, but maybe that’s not the best idea in the world?” On the one hand, I wouldn’t have to do double duty. On the other hand …
He took another step toward me, and I backed up again. Oh God, I could feel it, the pull between us, the attraction, the need, the desperation. Oh, and what do you know, my panties were pretty much on fire.
“You’re questioning your king?”
Oh hell no, we are not doing this. “Right now, you’re not acting like my king. You’re acting like a pissed off ex-boyfriend.”
His chuckle was low and harsh. “Can’t I be both?”
I tilted my chin up. He couldn’t have it both ways. “No. There can only be one at a time. So pick.” Oh God, this was probably going to get me fired, but I didn’t care.
He nodded slowly. “As your king, I’m telling you, you are now on my personal detail. As your pissed off ex-boyfriend, I’m telling you I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I still want you. I hate that I can still taste you.”
He stepped even closer as I backed into a wall. I had nowhere to go. Then he planted his hands on either side of me. I knew what was about to happen. And to be fair, my panties were on fire. It wasn’t not fault, you see, because he was just too damn sexy. Stupid cheeky king.
The kiss was tentative at first, as if he was waiting for me to stop him, to tell him no, and to walk away. What he didn’t know was I was just as caught up as he was. I couldn’t walk away. I couldn’t stop myself. So here we were, locked in the spell, pretty much hating each other.
“What are you doing?” I whispered against his lips.
His whisper was soft, warm, pulling something down ... deep down in my center. “I’m trying to tell myself that I don’t want you.” But when his lips brushed over mine, the zinging pull low in my body made it impossible to think.
His voice, low and husky, had heat pooling in my center and my body vibrating. I hated that he could do this to me. “How’s that working out for you?”
The air changed around us. It crackled and sizzled and popped, and I knew how it was going to feel. The flame was going to singe my skin, but still I ran right toward it like an idiotic moth.
I knew what was coming before Sebastian even moved, but there was no bracing for it. His fingers slowly fisted in my sweater. He gave me every chance to run, but I couldn’t. I knew how it would feel.
At first he was the Sebastian I remembered. His lips were gentle, but demanding. A spike of the electricity flared between us, scorching my lips when his tongue dipped insid
e.
With a low groan, he shifted our angle, and it was like someone had poured gasoline on us then hit us with a little napalm. His hands fisted in my hair, gripping it tight, giving me a tingle of sweet pain. He kissed me deeper, ripping a moan from me as my whole body melted.
I didn’t have the defenses to fight off my feelings. Tentatively my hands went to his hair, the silken, soft texture familiar to me. Just touching it was like a sweet ache. Then I tugged back.
Something inside him snapped, and he shoved me back against his door, his hands gripping and fisting my hair and my ass. His mouth devoured mine in an angry display of pent-up need and fear. His hands roamed freely. When his left hand cupped my breast, I involuntarily pushed my hips into his straining erection.
He dragged his lips off mine, and his sharp, heated gaze watched me with an intensity I’d never felt from him before. His thumb rolled over my nipple, and I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from crying out.
Breathing through clenched teeth, he applied even more pressure and rubbed his thumb back and forth. I tried to fight it. I really did. But hell, I’m only human. The whimper snuck out, and I couldn’t stop it.
His voice was barely above a growl when he said, “I don’t want this.” But he still kept torturing my nipple, his pupils dilated, and his lips parted.
“You think I do?” I arched my back into the caress. Because yes, I did want this. As a matter of fact, if he just applied a little more pressure …
Somewhere in the far recesses of my mind, alarm bells rang, starting as a low buzz but quickly intensifying to a sharp clang. Suddenly he was backing away … just like at the solarium. But he didn’t bother to right his erection this time. Instead, he watched me with the wariness of a caged animal.