by Renee Porter
I dodged waiters in black tails as I hurried out of the large house, thankful when I saw the backyard. I didn’t stop when my feet hit the grass, and as my heels got stuck I yanked them off, placing them in my hands and walking the longest yard, anywhere to take me as far away from the house, and El as possible.
The yard opened up to a gorgeous garden of flowers of different colors, shapes and sizes. Bugs buzzed by as humming birds darted back and forth to see the new intruder.
That’s exactly what I was, an intruder. This didn’t belong in my life. I wasn’t a celebrity, I wasn’t rich. I just owned a small boutique in the valley, and even that life could be at an end in less than a month.
I didn’t even stop the tears from flowing. I could have blamed it on allergies but I knew it was because everything was already changing. I thought about my life with El and I couldn’t see how it could ever work. Were we just going to be lovers during the summer? What about her job? Her touring? Her band? Why would she want someone who she couldn’t even be with during the year?
“Are you okay?”
I breathed out thankful that it was Marshall and not El.
“I’m fine.” With my back to him I tried wipe the tears and look okay. Slowly turning I forced a smile that probably made my ugly cry face even uglier.
“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” Marshall held onto my shoulders as I let out a sob and laugh at the same time.
“I think she still loves me.” Marshall looked at me with his mouth agape and his eyebrows furrowed.
“Okay? And we don’t like that?” I sobbed a little louder, “Or we do?” Marshall held me as the crying died just enough for me to answer.
“I don’t know, Marshall. I don’t know if it’s good or not.”
“Hmm, well by the way you were looking at one another today I would have thought it was a very welcome thing.” Marshall gave me a handkerchief from his pocket and I wiped my eyes.
“Don’t get me wrong, El and I…we’ve always…I’ve always…” I bit my lip and shook my head trying to place my thoughts. “Marshall, she was my first, but I never thought she would be anything more than that. I just don’t know how to feel.”
I sighed heavily as Marshall looked out across the garden.
“It’s amazing you know,” he said after a few moments of silence. I grunted, not understanding but pretending I did. “Jules planted these flowers herself the summer I met Dan. She was always so sweet to me and would bring Dan and I tea and coffee out here. We would bask in the blooms thinking that nothing could ever look so beautiful. But then, one day during September, we came out here and they had all died. Not one flower had a single bloom on it, and I had asked Jules why they had all died, and do you know what she said to me?” I looked at Marshall and I shook my head. “She told me that they weren’t dead, they were just hibernating and storing their energy for next summer, where they will grow even larger and brighter than before.” Marshall sighed, “It’s like that for you and El. It was beautiful to begin with, then she left and it felt like everything left with her. And now your scared that your garden is dead and won’t grow, but, when you’re with El, Jayce, it doesn’t matter if it’s summer, spring, fall or winter, those flowers bloom. And they are bigger and brighter than before. I know it because I see it, and I saw it today. She’s loved you since the beginning. And I think she’ll love you until the end too…”
Marshall shrugged his shoulders as I looked around the garden. “It’s hard to believe that in a few weeks this will all be gone.” Marshall nodded and took my hand in his.
“But that doesn’t mean they’re gone forever.”
I smiled as I nodded, understanding what Marshall was saying. I kissed him on the cheek as I went to look for El. I went to where I left her and she wasn’t there. Then I checked every room and bathroom but still she was no where to be seen.
“She left.” Dan said as I asked him if he had seen her.
“Left? Where did she go?” Now, the anxiety wasn’t because I didn’t know if I loved El or not, it was because I needed to tell her I did as soon as possible.
“She said she was leaving. She got a call and she had to head back to Seattle right away.” Dan shrugged his shoulders. “She even said she couldn’t be in the wedding because she would be out of the country. Do you know anything about that?” My heart started to beat wildly as I tried to seep up everything Dan was telling me.
“What? No, I don’t know…oh god, I need to go. I don’t know where…I need my mom,” Dan put his hands on my shoulders and met my gaze.
“She’s probably at her place, come on, you can take my car. I’ll tell your mom you left okay?” I blindly followed Dan outside to the valet. When the Mercedes pulled up he popped the door open and handed me the keys. “Be careful, let us know when everything is okay.”
I nodded and turned the engine over. Squealing the tires I head for El’s house, hoping, dear god, hoping that she wasn’t gone.
***
Knock. Knock. Knock. It was the third time I had tried but still no answer from El. Did she have a different place than I thought? Why wasn’t she picking up her cell? Should I go to the airport? Yes! The airport that’s what I needed to do.
Wait. Just wait. I shook my head not knowing what I was doing. I was being crazy. First off, if El was going back to Seattle, she wouldn’t not go just because of me. She had a life separate from all of this. She had a life separate from me. I put my hand up to knock one more time but thought better of it, instead, I got into Dan’s Mercedes and drove home.
It was the longest ride of my life. At times I thought I should turn around, go to the airport and confess my undying love to her. But what about the people around us? What if someone heard? El had only been with men in the spotlight and not women. Jesus, I could have turned her career upside down.
I entered my driveway, took the keys out of the car and banged my head on the steering wheel. “Why do I care so much?” I bit my lip and tried not to let the tears start to fall again. Hours before I was trying to figure out if I even loved El, and now? I shook my head and decided that the timing wasn’t right, yet again. Our lives were never in synch, why would I think this time would change?
Taking the steps up to my apartment I thought, or more like tried to convince myself, that this was for the better. El was an independent woman and didn’t need anyone holding her down. I wasn’t even sure where my life was headed. Maybe being forced to sell the shop was a good idea. Maybe I could get out of this town and state and see the world? I’d always want to visit…
“El?” My thoughts froze as I saw her sitting there head leaned back on my apartment door. Her eyes fluttered open as she quickly stood. Her cocktail dress was wrinkled, her hair was tangled and her makeup was smudged, almost as if she had been crying. “What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t find you,” she took a step forward and then another back. I didn’t miss the deeper meaning in front of me. It was the story of our lives together.
“I couldn’t find you, either. Dan told me you were leaving the country…”
El’s face grew curious and then she shook her head. “He’s so dramatic.”
My eyebrows drew downward as I looked at El. She had been crying, that I was sure of. “So you’re not?”
“Leaving the country?” El chuckled and shook her head. I noticeably relaxed my shoulders and gave my own chuckle. We stood there together, in front of my apartment just staring at one another. With ever second that passed, I realized just how much I needed El to be right there, right here, with me.
“Can you come in?” I finally asked. El nodded as she attempted to right her dress and hair. After the second attempt of fixing her clip, I removed the clip myself and allowed her waves to fall effortlessly. El breathed out and gave me a shy smile and for a moment I was taken back to years earlier.
I didn’t say anything as I grabbed El’s hand and led her into my small apartment. Everything was neatly in its place as I started to ma
ke a pot of coffee without even asking El. I knew that we both needed a pick me up.
“Where did you go?” She finally asked as she took a seat. I looked over my shoulder, waiting for the cup to fill with the hot liquid.
“I went to your dad’s place. Dan said you would probably be there.” I placed he coffee cup in front of her.
“No, I meant after…” she tilted her head back and forth, not wanting to say exactly what she meant. I sighed.
“I went to Jules’s garden…to think.” I took my own coffee and sat down at the table with El. I watched as she blew on the cup to cool it down. My own heat raised up from the act.
“And did you think?” I watched as she swallowed thickly. I knew that she was nervous. The way her eyes darted back and forth on my own. The way her fingers shook when lifting the cup to her mouth, it was all a dead giveaway. And with her nerves my own settled. Was it strange to think that I was more calm knowing that El was as nervous as I was?
“I did,” I took a deep breath. “I didn’t know what to say after…” I paused not knowing exactly how to approach it.
“After telling you that I’m still in love with you? After all this time?”
The words coming from El were enough for me to lose my breath. Just knowing that I was right, and hearing it coming from her own lips made me warm from the inside out.
“Yes,” I breathed. El shook her head and her eyes started to tear yet again.
“I’m sorry, I should have never put you in that situation and…”
“You’re my summer garden,” I sputtered out. I looked at her and then backtracked, hitting my own forehead in the meantime. “I mean, you’re beautiful and you’ve only grown more beautiful as time has grown and I thought that our time had died but…”
“But?” El’s tears were slowly making their way down her cheeks. She looked so hopeful yet reserved.
“I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you. I know you know that. When we’re together El, it’s like we never stopped being together. I think we’ve always been meant to be.” I shrugged one shoulder as the tears started to make themselves known. I felt them free on my cheeks and as El breathed a sigh of relief she stood. I stood too, ever so slowly, not wanting this time to move so quickly.
“So you love me?” El asked carefully. I looked into her deep blue eyes and allowed the feeling to wash over me.
“I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
Without another word her lips were on mine. Her breath melded into a dance of pure wonder and everything felt as though it was finally the right time.
“I love you, Jayce. I’ve always loved you.” She said before kissing me again. I didn’t respond other than to kiss her back harder. The weight of her hands in my hair melted with the feeling of her body against me and before I knew it we were laying on my couch, deep in each other. Her hips, her skin, gliding against me was so magnificent I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or not.
“Oh, god,” I groaned as her hand moved slowly up toward where I needed her. I rocked against El, like I had rocked against her so many other times, but this time it was different. This time, it was a silent promise that it would never stop. This time, although the same, felt so much more different. Because this time, I knew, deep down, El would be there. Always.
Chapter 25
The bright light coming from my window was something I wasn’t used to. Usually, I drew the windows closed the night before, not allowing the break of day to warm my face.
Now, however, the sun blared from behind closed eyes, and as I blinked into focus, I tried to remember why I hadn’t closed the curtains the night before.
And then, all of a sudden, my eyes shot open wide. I felt the side of my bed and El was nowhere to be seen. Had I dreamed it? I closed my eyes tightly and remembered the night on the couch, and then my bed and felt my knees go weak from the memory.
No, I definitely did not dream it.
I reached for my bedside drawer and pulled out an oversized shirt. Donning it, I quickly went to the bathroom and went in search for El, knowing that she would be hanging around somewhere in my apartment. It wasn’t that large so it shouldn’t be too hard to find her.
“El?” I called out as I rounded my hallway into the living room.
“Well, hello there Jay.” Jules chuckled with El as I immediately pulled the shirt down over my exposed thighs.
“Uh, hi, Jules…” I looked back and forth as El stood, and handed me a cup of coffee and a kiss on the cheek.
“Good morning,” she said as she looked deep into my eyes. I was almost pulled away when another chuckle from Jules.
“Well, now that we broke the ice. I have something for you Jay.” Jules waved a large packet in front of her. El pecked me on the cheek and pushed me toward Jules.
“What is that?” I asked. Jules handed me the packet and I skimmed through it.
“It’s your release from that dreadful contract you signed.” Jules smiled as I looked at her in astonishment.
“What? What do you mean?”
I heard Jules and El chuckle. “Honey, Jules is one of L.A.’s top attorneys. I gave her the contract after you showed it to me and asked her to find something to get you out of it.”
My felt my mouth moving but knew there was nothing coming out. “What do you mean? I sign this and they can’t take away the store?” Jules nodded as El grabbed my hand and squeezed it. This time, all I felt was comfort and support. “But how? I thought the contract I signed was fool proof.”
I skimmed the pages and Jules scoffed. “Nothing is fool proof this day and age. It was obvious that Tom used scare tactics to get you to sign. When I told him I’d be representing you in the lawsuit against Quarters he ran with his tail between his legs. I had that on my desk in no less than two hours.”
My eyes started to tear. “You’re serious?”
“Yes. Anyone who looks at that knows it was to crush any competition they have. And to do it to a small store…well let’s just say the publicity would be very bad.” Jules smiled at me and held my hand.
“Thank you, I don’t know what to say. Yesterday I thought I would have to sell, and now you’re telling me I get to keep my store?” I looked to El and then to Jules.
“Of course, sweetie. I told you,” Jules stood and put her hand on my shoulder, “I’d do anything for the women who allowed my Danny to find his happiness again.” Jules smiled and placed a kiss on my cheek. “El, send that over to me when she signs it.” And then, “now I’ll let myself out so you two can enjoy the rest of your morning.” Jules winked at us as I followed her with my eyes to the front door. With a simple wave, Jules was gone, and just like that I had my life back. How was it possible?
“Are you okay?” El asked from behind me. I looked over to her and smiled. Shaking my head I jumped into her lap and kissed her. I kissed her for the years we spent apart. I kissed her for the love she had given me even when we weren’t together. And I kissed her for the love I knew we would fill with the rest of our years. Yes, we kissed as if summer would never end, and in our hearts we knew we would always have every summer after this.
Epilogue
“I now pronounce you married. You may now kiss the grooms.”
We cheered as Marshall and Dan kissed their first kiss as husbands. I stood next to Marshall laughing and clapping as El winked from across the way. My stomach somersaulted as her smile widened with every second.
“Okay, come on guys, the rest of us want to dance!” I had to finally exclaim to the couple. They removed their lips from one another as the crowd continued to cheer.
“Whoops,” Marshall laughed as he took me in his arms.
“Get going, your man is waiting.” I watched as Marshall took his now husband’s hand and make their way down the aisle. Before I knew it, strong fingers took my own and I had to balance my own bouquet in my hands while attempting to keep my legs moving. El still made me weak.
“Do you remember the first time we met?” El
asked me as we waved to the wedding guests.
I laughed at her and turned, as we reached the end of the aisle. “Of course, you were pretending that you were an ‘Ancient Alien Theorist’. How could I forget? El chuckled along with me as we made our way to the reception hall. Slowly, she grabbed my fingers and twirled me around, gathering me close in her arms.
“I never told you this, but I think I loved you from that very day. Ancient Aliens was my favorite show.” I chuckled in El’s ear as she whispered something in mine. I stopped as my mouth opened in response to her question and El winked. Somewhere in the distance I heard the emcee announcing us and I felt El leading me into the reception hall.
And as we stood there, watching our best friends dance their first dance as a married couple, I couldn’t help but say it. “Yes.”
El looked at me and smiled. “You’re sure you want to be with me? Forever?”
“Mmm, that does sound pretty good doesn’t it?”
El kissed me then, and as she led me to the dance floor to join in with our friends I knew that this time, summer would never end.