by Marie Force
“It tastes pretty damn good, if I do say so myself.”
“So many talents,” she said, waggling her brows.
He opened a beer for himself and joined her at the table.
“What went on around here today?”
“A few things.” The words were spoken casually, but his lips tightened with tension that she noticed right away.
“What things?”
“Andy called looking for you and said he’ll be home all night if you want to call him back.”
“Oh, good. I need to get the lowdown on Lori’s attorney for the custody case as well as the social worker.”
Fiddling with the bottle cap, he said, “He also told me they think they’ve found Scotty’s father in New Jersey.”
The bite of delicious pasta got stuck in her throat. When she finally managed to get it down, she took a sip of her wine. “They actually found him.”
“Yes.”
“So what now?” The question belied the bolt of terror that seized her at the thought of anything messing with their plan to adopt Scotty.
“Now Andy goes there and has a conversation with him.”
“What if he wants him? What do we do then?”
Nick reached for her free hand. “Even if it were to go to court—”
“Court? It could come to that?”
“Purely speculation on Andy’s part, but even if it came to that, Scotty is old enough now to say what he wants, and we know what he wants. I felt better when Andy put it like that.”
“So what’s the worst-case scenario with the father?”
“Andy thinks he’ll want money if he finds out who we are, so he’s going to try to get this done without him finding out.”
“That’s a long shot.”
“Agreed, but he figures it’s worth a try. He’s going up there to see him this week.”
Sam put down her fork and rested her free hand on her stomach. “And we’re supposed to function while this is going on?”
“I know. But the good news of the day is that Scotty asked me if it would be okay—at some point—to call me Dad.”
“Oh, wow,” she said softly. “That must’ve been a moment and a half.”
“It was.”
She squeezed his hand. “I want this done. I want him to be ours forever.”
“We’re working on it. We have to be patient and dot all the Is and cross the Ts.”
“I hate Is and Ts. All those dots and crosses drive me nuts.”
Nick laughed and bent his head to kiss her hand. “Let’s keep this between us for now. I don’t see any need to worry him until we know what we’re dealing with.”
“Totally agree.”
“Finish your dinner.”
“I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Samantha... Clean your plate or no dessert.”
“Are we talking dessert or dessert?”
“The good kind. The loft kind.”
“In that case...” She twirled another forkful of pasta. “This sauce is amazing. I’m truly impressed.”
“Scotty said it was better than the stuff in the jar.”
“High praise coming from him.”
“So there’s this thing at work tomorrow night.”
“What thing?”
“The West Wing staff is having a reception to welcome us to the team. They invited you and Scotty to come too. If you want to.”
“Oh.”
“It’s at the White House.” He watched her closely as she absorbed that news, amusement dancing in his gorgeous hazel eyes.
“You want me to go to the White House for a...thing...tomorrow night with no time to prepare myself for this?”
“Only if you want to.”
She scowled at him. “Don’t do that.”
“What am I doing?”
“Letting me off the hook when you shouldn’t let me off the hook. I’m your wife. I should be there when you celebrate your new job. At the freaking White House.”
He rolled his lips together to keep from laughing.
“Don’t you dare laugh at me.”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“Yes, you would!”
“Not when I want to get really, really lucky tonight.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “You get really, really lucky most nights, even when you laugh at me.”
“Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?”
“Don’t do that either!”
“I’m not allowed to tell you I love you?”
“Not when you’re trying to coerce me.”
“I love to coerce you. It’s one of my favorite things to do, but since it’s making you cranky, tell me how the case is going.”
“It’s going,” she said with a sigh. “We’ve got a few leads that we’ll dig into tomorrow. The faster we get this sewn up, the faster Gonzo’s life can get back to normal.”
“I can’t believe they’re actually trying to pin it on him. They were giving him the hero’s treatment a few short weeks ago.”
“The thing is, we can’t prove he didn’t do it. Someone dicked with the security cameras in his building, his name and address were found under the floor mat in the car Lori was in and he and Christina are each other’s alibi. They both love Alex, and Lori was making trouble for them.”
“So you’re saying the only way to completely take the heat off them is to find the person who actually did it?”
“Yep. We’re doing everything we can, but so far we’ve yet to find anyone who had more of a motive than they do. It’s early in the investigation though.” She took another sip of her wine and smiled when he topped off her glass. “So Freddie was at the ER at GW with Elin, who took a hit to the face at work today.”
“Is she okay?”
“I guess so. I don’t really know the details yet, but she was able to call him. She said she saw Shelby there. With Hill.”
“What? How come?”
“Apparently she’d fallen on the sidewalk and cut up her knees.”
“Huh.” Nick scratched at the stubble on his unshaven jaw. “I hope that’s all it was.”
“What else would it be?”
He glanced at her tentatively.
“What?”
“She came by earlier today to share some news with me. It’s news you might find upsetting, and she wanted me to decide how best to tell you.”
“She’s pregnant.”
“Yes.”
“Well, you’re just full of all kinds of information tonight.”
He scooted his chair closer to hers and took hold of both her hands. “It’s okay to feel a little undone by this news. I did too.”
“I’m happy for her. I am.”
“I know you are. And I know your heart breaks a little more every time someone around us gets the one thing you want more than anything.”
She shrugged off his concern even as her heart did in fact break. His sweetness and understanding went a long way toward soothing the ache. “So if she was at the ER, it might be more serious than skinned knees.”
“Jeez, I hope not.” He released her hands to pull his phone from his back pocket.
As Sam watched him dash off a quick text, she stared at the platinum band he wore on his left hand. She loved seeing that ring on his finger and knowing he belonged only to her for the rest of their lives. At times like this, when her world was in chaos, the sight of that thin band of metal calmed and grounded her.
He put down the phone and took hold of her hands again. “Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m happy for her. Truly happy for her and Angela and Gonzo and Derek and everyone else we know who has kids. It’s just that so
metimes I wonder if it’s going to happen again for us.”
“I’ve been thinking about that today since Shelby was here and how we haven’t done everything we could do to make it happen.”
She was shaking her head before he finished speaking. “I’ve been through fertility treatment before. It’s hideous. I said I’d never do it again. You think I’m crazy now. You ought to see me when I’m hopped up on hormones. Plus you’d have to give me shots, which would make me hate you.” She shook her head. “I can’t do that again. I just can’t.”
“Totally up to you, but I wanted you to know I’m willing.”
She raised a brow and tipped her head. “And you know what would be required of you?”
“Umm, no, not really.”
Sam covered her mouth but was unable to suppress her laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe, let alone speak. “Suffice to say it would involve your hand and lots of porn.”
“Jesus, Sam.”
“What? I speak the truth.”
“Whatever. Have your laughs. I’d do it for you if you wanted me to.”
She moved from her chair into his lap. “And I love you for that. I really do, but I can’t go through that again. It was a nightmare the other two times, and it was all for nothing. I say we keep doing what we’re doing, and if it happens, it happens. If not, I’ll find a way to live with the many blessings we already have.”
“Nothing has to be decided right here and now. If you want to think about it—”
She kissed him. “Nothing to think about. That’s not something I’m willing to put myself through again, and it would take all the romance out of a pretty good marriage.”
“A pretty good marriage?”
“An above-average marriage.”
“Above average?”
“A spectacular, amazing, fantastic, wonderful, beyond-all-expectations marriage. Better?”
“Much.”
“Why would we mess with that?”
“To give you what you want most in the world?”
“I already have more than I ever dreamed possible with you and Scotty. I promise that’s enough for me. Anything more would be frosting on an already amazing cake.”
“It is pretty good cake.”
“Just pretty good?”
“Astonishing, delicious, delectable, mouthwatering. Best cake I ever had. Better?”
She smiled and then kissed him again. “So much better.”
Chapter Fourteen
Stretched out on Avery’s sofa, Shelby eyed her phone on the coffee table but made no move to reach for it even though she’d heard it chime with a new text. She who never let a text go unanswered couldn’t be bothered to even read this one. What did it matter?
He’d refused to take her home because he wanted to take care of her.
She’d lacked the wherewithal to fight with him.
Hindsight, she’d discovered this afternoon and evening, was an interesting perspective. So many things made sense now that she knew the truth. She thought about the time Avery had brought Sam home after Willie Vasquez’s murder. Nick had arrived while she talked to Avery outside Sam and Nick’s house. After Avery left, she’d talked to Nick about her desire to date the FBI agent. Nick had been all for it. Now she knew why. It wasn’t because he thought she and Avery would make for a good couple. It was because Nick wanted Avery to date someone else, so he wouldn’t pose a threat to Nick’s marriage.
More than anything she felt like a fool. Three people she was close to had kept the truth from her for months. They’d let her get invested in her relationship with Avery. They’d let her think that maybe this time, finally, she’d get her happy ending. But all the while they knew who Avery really wanted and couldn’t have.
She recalled how she’d asked Nick if he’d mind if she went out with Hill. “Hell, no,” he’d said. “Go. Have a great time. By all means.” She’d found that odd at the time because she’d already picked up on the fact that Nick didn’t like Avery—and Nick seemed to like everyone.
“So stupid,” she whispered.
Avery came into the room carrying a steaming mug of the tea he kept on hand for her.
Shelby had once been charmed when she realized he’d gotten her favorite tea. Now, like everything else about him, the hot tea left her cold.
With his offering in hand, he sat on the coffee table and held it out to her.
Shelby forced herself to sit up, to take the mug, to take a sip and to not look at him.
“I’m sorry, Shelby. I can only imagine what you must be thinking, but I promise you that what has happened between us had nothing to do with anyone but you and me.”
“So the fact that you were in love with my friend and employer had nothing at all to do with us?”
“I’m not in love with her. I was never in love with her. I was...infatuated.”
“Infatuated. How nice. And while you were infatuated with my friend, you decided to go out with me so you could stay close to her.”
“That’s not true. I see her at work all the time. I didn’t need to go out with you to stay close to her. Nothing ever happened between us. It was just a one-sided thing that is now in the past.”
“All this time, I couldn’t figure out why Nick Cappuano, who likes everyone, doesn’t like you. I mean, on paper, you’re his kind of guy—accomplished, athletic, charming. The two of you should’ve been the best of friends and yet you aren’t. I couldn’t figure out why. But now it all makes sense. He hates you because you want his wife.”
“I don’t want his wife. I like her. I admire her. I understand that she’s extremely married, and I’d never get in the way of that or cause trouble for either of them. It was a crush. Past tense.” He placed a cashmere throw over her lap and tucked her hair behind her ear.
She ought to tell him to stop touching her, but she liked when he touched her.
“The crush I have on you, on the other hand, is very much present tense.”
Shelby shook her head. “Don’t say that stuff.”
“Why not? It’s the truth. Do you think I would spend most nights with you if I didn’t care about you? Do you think I’d tag along on your dates with Scotty if I didn’t really enjoy both of you?” He leaned in to kiss her forehead and then her cheek. “Do you think I’d make love to you every chance I got if I didn’t truly want to?”
“I honestly don’t know what to think. I’m confused.”
“Nothing to be confused about. You and I are together, and we have been for a while now. She and I are colleagues. That’s all we’ve ever been, and all we’ll ever be.”
“Hypothetically, if she weren’t married anymore, would you still be interested in me?”
“Yes, I would. Do you think I’ve just been killing time with you while waiting for a perfectly healthy young guy to kick the bucket so I could move in on his wife?”
That glorious South Carolinian accent, those golden eyes, the cheekbones... She was crazy about him. Or she had been until she found out he was crazy about Sam.
“You’re blowing this way out of proportion, you know,” he said.
“How am I doing that? Three people I care about and trust have kept a very big piece of information from me for a very long time. I feel like a fool.” She felt like an even bigger fool when her eyes filled with tears. Again.
“I’m so, so sorry. I never wanted you to know that I used to have feelings for her, but I felt like I was lying to you by not telling you, and I didn’t like that either. My feelings for her were silly feelings compared to what I feel for you. Those are real feelings. She was a fantasy. You are real and amazing and funny and formidable and adorable and—”
“Don’t say cute. Don’t even
think about it.”
“I wouldn’t dare. I know better by now.” He caressed her face and disposed of her tears with a minimum of fuss. “I want to watch your belly get all big and round. I want to be there when you bring this little person into the world. I want to sleep with you every night and laugh with you and put up with you imitating my accent—badly, I might add.”
“I do a great Avery Hill.”
“Keep telling yourself that, darlin’. I want you to remember something else too.”
“What’s that?”
“I changed my opinion of the color pink for you.”
Shelby didn’t want to laugh, but a gurgle escaped nonetheless. He had, in fact, come around on the pink issue.
With a finger to her chin, he compelled her to meet the sexy golden gaze that had made her want to drool from the first time she ever laid eyes on him. “You forgive me?”
“I want to, and I hate myself for that.”
“Why do you hate yourself?”
“Because. This is the best relationship I’ve ever had, and I don’t want it to end. But I also want to be able to respect myself. You kept something big from me—something I had a right to know. That doesn’t happen again.”
“It won’t.”
“This isn’t the FBI, Avery. If you want me, really want me, I won’t put up with secrets and intrigue. That’s not what I want. I’d rather be alone than be with someone I can’t trust. I deserve better, and not just from you but from two people I consider my friends as well as my employers.”
“You’re right, I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry you were hurt because of me. Your knees and your heart.”
“It’s very evolved of you to actually use the word ‘sorry’. That right there makes this different from any relationship I’ve ever been in.”
“I promise I’m not just telling you what you want to hear, Shelby.” He leaned in slowly, his eyes open and fixed on her, and kissed her. “Kiss me back.”
“I’m not ready to.”
“When will you be ready?”
“I’ll let you know.”