by Shyla Colt
“Dad,” Clue said.
“Clue. How’s your mother?”
“Not too good, Dad. I think I should bring her up here soon.”
Wild stared down at the table. “Damn, I always thought I’d be the one to go first, in my typical style, blaze of glory.”
Me too. Clue kept the thought to himself. “She’s refusing chemo now.”
“What?” Wild’s head shot up.
“She said it stole away her ability to live. I mean, I know it made her sick and she lost her hair. But it felt like we were at least fighting.”
“Damn, is she that close riding on a pale horse?”
“No. Right now, she’s good. Hell’ better than good, she’s great. I haven’t seen her like this in a long time. It’s like she caught her second wind.”
“Maybe she made the right choice? We all got to leave this world one day. Better to go out on your own terms,” Wild said.
“How can you be so flippant?” Clue asked pissed at his dad’s attitude.
“I’m not. Your mother is the only woman I ever loved, aside from my mother. You think I want this for her?” Wild asked. He ground his teeth. “Life is about dealing with the hand your dealt. That’s all she’s trying to do. I know you love your mom, and you want her with you, but I know her in a way you don’t, son. She’s a free spirit. The drugs are a cage trapping her. She might be alive physically, but it’s killing her spiritually. You understand?”
Clue turned his head. What his father said rang true, but he didn’t want to admit it.
“Love means letting go, and sacrificing. Why do you think I let your mom walk away from me?” he asked.
Clue turned to him. “But you never stopped claiming her as your Old Lady.”
“Because I knew no one could take her place. The two of you needed the distance from me and the stupid shit I was doing, so I gave it to you. Are you getting where I’m going, yet? Love is pain. You can’t have one without the other. There’s no picking and choosing experiences. The good comes with the bad. “
“So…you agree with it?” he asked.
“I think it might be right for her,” Wild answered. He pointed his finger. “You should try to understand that.”
“Meh,” Clue muttered.
“Tell me what else has been going? I haven’t seen you in a minute,” Wild said steering them away from the touchy topic.
Clue latched onto the conversational shift. “Yeah, I had my hands full taking care of Mom. She asked me to hire a home-care nurse. I found someone with hospice experience.” The h word still stuck in his throat like a fishbone.
“I thought you just said she wasn’t that bad,” Wild noted.
“Not yet, but she will be. She said she wants to go with dignity. Apparently, that means me not seeing her in a certain light.”
“You agreed to it?” Wild asked.
“The nurse I choose is—important to me.”
“First time, I ever saw you even hint at a relationship. Is this serious?” Wild asked.
“She’s going to be my Old Lady, she just doesn’t realize it yet.”
Wild laughed. “Oh, yeah? You plan on breaking it to her anytime soon?”
“No, she’s skittish. Her ex was an asshole and she’s new to the life. I’m easing her into it.”
“You sure she’s Old Lady material? How did you met this mysterious hospice nurse?” Wild leaned forward over the table.
“She’s Demon’s sister-in-law,” Clue replied quietly.
Wild let out a low whistle. “You don’t ease in to anything, do you?”
“Didn’t have a choice with Birdie. She walked in and a bomb exploded,” he explained remembering the first day he saw her come into the club all curves and coyness. The combination proved to be his vice. If this were his only addiction, he’d consider himself lucky.
Wild nodded. “Felt that way about your Mom. Don’t let her go.”
“I don’t plan on it. How are you?”
“Same as usual, ready to get out of here, but maintaining. I got enough people watching my back. Pres made sure of that.” Wild nodded.
“He’s good at taking care of his people.”
“He should be. Boy’s been groomed since he could talk to take the crown. One of the many things his dad did right,” Wild said.
The pride in his voice made Clue smile. Once a brother, always a brother. Their fallen were never forgotten. It was all the reasons why he’d never leave club life behind. The world was a cold place full of assholes, crooks, and bullies. Better to have an army at your back for life. “He’s doing good things, opening more businesses, and making a family friendly environment. He wants future brothers.”
“It’s always good when you grow the majority of them and add a few others along the way,” Wild said.
“You’ll be out soon.”
“Shit, not soon enough. Not even good behavior is going to shave time off my sentence.” Wild shrugged his orange clad shoulders.
Clue chuckled. Jail had been a revolving door for his old man. There were done giving him breaks. “They probably have a cell just for you set out.”
“You’d think that.” Wild almost smiled. “What else is going on out there?”
They launched into small talk and he found himself comforted by his father’s presence. He had a way of speaking the truth that forced you to look at a situation for what it was. He didn’t want to give up on changing his mom’s mind yet. But he could assent to the fact that he might fail. He swallowed the lump in his throat and focused his attention on his father.
~* * *~
Clue sat across the table from his mom, overlooking a killer view of the canyon below. The restaurant was an upper scale stone building with an amazing menu. It’d become the place where he and his mother celebrated things. He had to admit she looked better. She’d grown another inch of hair, her face had filled out, and most importantly, her eyes sparkled with happiness. It was almost like he had her back before the bad part of the cancer and its treatments came. It would be easy to pretend for a while the past few years had been nothing more than a nightmare.
“You got me here at High, so you must want to break something to me or share good news,” his mother said peering over the rim of her Bloody Mary.
“Can’t I just want to enjoy my mother’s company?”
She smiled. “You were always such a good son. It’s why I never had another kid. I knew you were the warm up before a difficult one.”
He choked on his beer.
“If I don’t tell you the truth now then when? God blessed me with you ‘cause Lord knows, I had to get my shit together soon, when I found out I was pregnant.”
“You’re an awesome mom, no bullshit.”
She laughed. “Thank you baby.”
It’s good to see her like this. “How are things working out with, Birdie?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes. “Please, like you don’t know. Besides, I could ask you the same thing,” she said slyly.
He cleared his throat. “Good is too weak a word.”
“So it’s serious?”
He swallowed. She’d never liked any of the girls he’d fooled around with. He’d tried to hide his relationship with her for as long as he could. But his mom was perspective, and his emotions were strong.
Every time they were in the room together, he wanted to be near her. Touching her had become second nature, and pretending that she didn’t matter was out of the question. He’d never do anything to remind her of her ex-asshole. From what he’d managed to get out of her, the prick was a wealthy bastard who’d used her until he was ready to move on to greener pastures. Thank God, he hadn’t taken her virginity on top of the disrespect he did to her, or he would have to commit murder and probably land in a cell next to Wild. He hadn’t pried the rest of the details out of her yet. But I have time. “Damn serious,” he finally answered.
“That’s good,” she said nodding her head.
“Wait, what?” he aske
d.
“You don’t want me to be happy for you?” she asked, taking a healthy bite of her salad.
“You never like girls.”
“Oh no, I’ve always liked girls. What I didn’t like was bitches and trash, which was all you ever brought around. Birdie is different. If I didn’t think you were doing right by her, I’d be pissed. I want to see you settled before I go. Hell, I’d prefer to see you hitched and becoming a father but I won’t press my luck.”
“Why is Birdie so different?”
“Do you even have to ask? That girl is a rare jewel. You don’t find many like her out there these days.”
For a minute, he wondered just how close the two women were. He hadn’t popped her cherry yet, though he thought about it more than he’d ever admit to anyone. It never felt like the right time. I can teach her every dirty little trick I know until then, though.
“What’s the smirk?” His mother asked.
“Just me silently agreeing with you. She’s special. I’m going to keep her.”
“Yeah? Do it while I’m still here?”
Mindful of his father’s words he swallowed back his protest. “Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
The glow that over took her face, stole the sharp sting that come with biting his tongue. This is about her happiness, not mine. She needs to be at peace with things. I can give her this gift. “What about you, Mom? I’ve been taking care of club business and I feel like I haven’t seen you much.”
“You see me plenty. I have been thinking about things I’d like to do. I want to see your Dad soon.”
“I think he’d like that too,” Clue said seeing again, the love they shared. He might’ve stepped up as man of the house, but no one had replaced his father in her heart. That was the true tragedy. If they’d hated one another, it would’ve been easier to watch them both deny themselves. I won’t make that mistake.
“Have you seen him recently?”
“The other day. He mentioned you.”
A wide grin spread across her lips. “Can I ask what he said?”
“You could, but I think it’d sound better coming from him.”
“Fair enough. We’ll plan a trip, next weekend, maybe?”
“If that’s what you want. What other things have you been thinking of?” he asked, eager to keep her talking. They’d been at odds previously and it still left a bad taste in his mouth. Now. was not the time to be bickering.
“Hot Air Balloon ride.”
“Seriously mom? You’re afraid of heights.”
“I know, that’s a two for one, conquer fear of heights, and the ride,” she said.
Clue laughed. “What else?” he asked knowing the list would prove to be colorful and eclectic, like the woman who’d made it.
“See Roswell. They redid the library and I want to check it out. Go camping again, at least once, and sleep under the stars. I always loved taking you when you were a kid.”
“I still enjoy going to this day,” he replied, wanting to let her know how much she’d given him over the years.
“That’s the free spirit. You get a double dose from me and your father. It’s why I worked so hard to ground you growing up.”
“And now?”
“I think you’ll do just fine without your mother nagging you left and right.”
“Never nag, give me a kick in the ass? Yes.”
They continued reliving good memories as they finished up their meal and enjoyed the sun sinking into the horizon painting the canyon a colorful array of peaches, pinks, and purples. He listened to her list, mentally vowing to make as many of them happen as possible.
Chapter Six
BIRDIE
“How are you feeling about tonight?” Ardy asked studying her sister.
“Nervous as hell,” Birdie replied.
“I’ve been there, so I totally get it. But you have nothing to worry about. Everyone knows who you are, and they’ll mind their tongue because of Demon.”
“I know, but….What does it mean? There are so many different layers to this life. I’m still trying to learn all the rules.” Birdie sighed.
“I think that’s something you need to take up with Clue. It’s all about his intention.”
“How? I mean, I’m going to sound like an idiot. So, what does it mean since we’re at the clubhouse together we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, right?” she asked in a whiny voice.
“Well, don’t say it like that, no,” Ardy answered laughing.
“You girls sound like you’re having too much fun,” Demon said coming up behind Ardy to nip at her neck.
Birdie knew it was rare they partied together these days, so this was date night extraordinaire for them.
“B was just being her charming and incredibly amusing self,” Ardy said leaning her face up for his kiss. The hunger between them was a living breathing thing in the room.
“You going to let me in on the joke?” Demon asked once they surfaced for air.
“No,” Birdie said.
Demon’s brow furrowed.
“It was silly girly stuff that my big sister loves me too much to repeat while I’m standing right here,” Birdie stated.
Ardy snickered. “She’s nervous.”
“About the party? Don’t be. You’ll have fun. It’s about time you hang out with us anyway,” Demon said.
His words of acceptances warmed her. Things had been frosty between the two families for too long.
The roar of a motorcycle came up the street.
“There’s your boy now. You ready, Ardy?”
“Past ready. It feels like I haven’t gotten out of the house in forever.”
“ ‘Cause you haven’t,” Demon said palming her ass as he devoured her lips.
They’d better stop or they won’t make it to the party.
“When do we have to pick the kids up from Symone’s?” Demon asked.
“Not till afternoon,” Ardy said.
Demon hefted Ardy up and tossed her over his shoulder, slapping her ass. “Then let’s get this party on the road.”
Ardy pushed herself up, met her sister’s gaze, and shrugged. “What can I say? He’s crazy,” she mouthed.
A knock came on the door and Demon opened the door to reveal Clue.
“I take it you’re ready to go,” Clue said wryly, taking in Ardy laying over his shoulder.
“Yep, see you there, brother,” Demon said moving past him.
Clue stepped inside and froze.
“You like it?” she asked spinning slowly.
“You look hot. Too hot.” He frowned. “I almost don’t want to take you into there. The brothers can be a den of fucking hungry wolves when it comes to women.”
Trust me. I’m not their type. “I think we’ll be okay,” she said.
He scowled. “I hate when you do this shit. When are you going to tell me what that asshole did to you?”
“What?”
“You can’t see how fucking gorgeous you are and it pisses me off.” He ran his hands down her denim skirt, bending to lick her neckline.
“If you believe that why am I still a virgin?” She wanted to take the words back the minute they flew from her mouth.
He paused. “Is that what the attitude is about?”
“No, you hit a sore spot, but it’s a valid question.”
“Don’t you know? I’m waiting for you.”
“Waiting for me to do what?” she asked.
“Let me in here.” He touched her forehead with his pointer finger. “And here,” he added, placing a hand over her heart. “When we come together, there will be nothing between us. I’m trying to do right by you, and it’s not easy. But the things worth having never are.
Humbled by the depth of his emotion she studied him with new eyes. “Adrian didn’t love me. He used me to get through the final year of school. He wined, dined, and seduced me. All he had to do was ask me to marry him, and I became blind to everything else. I followed him around like a lo
st puppy and played wifey, marveling at how respectful and understanding he was. How patiently he waited for me because he knew I wanted to wait until I was married to have sex for the first time, like a good little Catholic girl should.”
“Son of a bitch,” Clue growled.
“A few days after exams, he took me to a fancy restaurant. I thought he wanted to reconnect and maybe talk wedding p-plans.” Her voice cracked. Her body flushed. Shame made her lower her eyes. “What he wanted to do was thank me for my services, and give me a check for hush money and a job well done. He was the first person to ever make me feel—wanted in that way. My town was fucked up in many ways and it did a number on my self-image and self-esteem. I was trying to pull myself out of that when he came along like the answer to my unspoken wishes. God, I was so stupid. The signs were there, and really everything was lacking. One kiss from you showed me how fucked up and lukewarm our dalliance was. But that was the scariest part. Feeling so much for a man I’ve known for less than six months.”
“Is there a time limit on emotion?” he asked.
“Of course not.”
“Then why are you so fixated on it? I’ve been nothing but open with you. Do you think you’re the only one who’s freaked out? I’ve got a ton on my plate right now, and technically, it’s probably a conflict of interests. Despite all that shit, I couldn’t ignore the connection between us if I tried. You’re not the only one putting their ass out there, Birdie. You’re scared, I get it. But don’t hide from me, ever.” He gripped her chin with his thumb and forefinger. “That prick will not create a problem between us. He lost a fucking treasure in you. And I’m glad, because otherwise you wouldn’t be here now, and we wouldn’t be us.” His chest heaved. His warm breath brushed her lips and face.
“And what are we?” she asked.
“What do you want us to be?” he countered.
“That’s not what I asked you.”
“Permanent. I’ve told you that over, and over, but I can see now you need me to show you. I am not him. I’m Nigel and you’re Birdie. We’re doing this shit our way and we’re doing it together.”
Her eyes widened.
“You lost the chance to leave months ago. You want a label? You’re my Old Lady. Your place is beside me, and my job is taking care of you. I don’t give a damn what your Daddy thinks, how shocked your sister may be, or how fast people will say we moved.”