Not letting her finish, I pushed her out of the way and dashed for the bathroom, barely making it. There I stayed until I had nothing left to give, until my groans turned to heaves, until my heaves turned to sobs.
Chapter 3
I could hear my sisters’ sobs echo through the silent house. Siting in the living room, they drown me. Through the bedroom door, they flow down the stairs, creating rivers of sorrow. I know my sisters are afraid that I’ve gone insane. I want to assure them that I haven’t, but how can I assure them of something I’m not sure of myself? Yesterday, when I finally dragged myself from the bathroom, I went into the kitchen for a glass of water and found them eating the meat and I snapped. Grabbing their plates, I threw them at the wall. The pan that held the rest followed. Terrified, they tried to restrain me and I snapped, smacking at them. Seeing Tristian in the doorway, they ran to him for help, but he just looked on with a vacant stare before he turned and quietly and left. Their fear fed my anger as I destroyed the kitchen. The sounds of my rage echoed as they cowered by the door in fear, watching my madness before turning to flee to their room.
Now, a day later, I still sat in the same spot I collapsed in yesterday like a statue, trying to come to terms with what I learned. Did Rose know what they were going to do to her when she went to that cavern? Oh, if there is any mercy left in our world, please don’t let her have known. Don’t let her have known that we are cattle raised and butchered. Don’t let her have thought of her brothers, her parents, and her friends being served to us as a special treat for being good little cows who walked into the slaughter house. Once a year we were given meat as a remembrance of the treaties, of the sacrifices that we were forced to make. How they must laugh at us as they fed us our loved ones.
These thoughts lead to madness, and as much as I wished that it would take me so that I could forget what I now knew, I couldn’t let it. My sisters needed me. Rising from the chair, I made my way up the stairs to their door, carefully knocking. “Josie, Tina, I’m going out. I don’t want you to worry. I’m OK now. I’m going to see Tristian. I’ll be home soon, I love you,” I told the closed door, unwilling to open it and face what I did. Gathering my coat, I walked out the door, careful to lock it behind me. It must be later than I thought, workers were wearily making their way through the streets back to their homes. That was another problem I would have to deal with soon, none of us had been to work since the lottery. While I made sure we had spare rations, they wouldn’t last us long and the only way to receive new rations was to work. Another way they controlled us. You couldn’t buy rations, you had to work in the factories for the gray slop they called food.
Nodding my head at the familiar faces I passed, I quickly made my way to Tristian’s. I was surprised when I turned the corner to his house and saw several Elders entering. While the Elders met, they were always careful about it not wanting to raise the government’s suspicions. Stepping back before I was seen, I retraced my steps until I found the alley that would take me to the back of Tristian’s home. Quietly making my way to his window, I gazed in and saw that the room was empty. Opening it, I climbed in like we use to do as children, then made my way quietly to his door, cracking it open to hear what was going on.
“Crowley, you know our laws, those one hundred that survived the lottery are to be brought into the fold. It is the way it has always been. This is how we maintain a living memory for our people,” Elder Gillon said, his exasperation clear.
“And I tell you, Gillon, that there is something very wrong. The lottery this year was different. I think we need to watch those who were chosen and make sure that they are who they are supposed to be,” Elder Crowley said.
“Who they are supposed to be?” Gillon scoffed. “Listen to yourself, you sound insane. What I think is that you are seeing shadows where there are none.”
“Gillon, I agree with Crowley, this lottery was different. That woman they brought in, there was something very strange going on,” Elder Parks interjected.
“You, too, Parks? Are you going to support Crowley in this lunacy? What of you, Terris? Where do you stand?”
“I agree that there is no harm in waiting until we are sure that everything and everyone is who they say, Gillon,” Terris said to the silent room.
“Fine, we will call a meeting of the Elders to have a ruling,” Gillon announced, before walking out.
“What’s on your mind, Crowley?” Elder Terris asked as soon as Gillon was gone.
“There is something wrong. I do not think having a council meeting would be a good idea. I think that’s what they’re waiting for, a reason to say we were plotting and to wipe us out,” he declared.
“We’ll begin investigating the new lottery winners and try to hold off Gillon from calling a council meeting, my friend,” he said. The mummer of good-byes warned me to close the door.
“You can come out now, Misty,” sounded a voice in the house, starling me. Looking toward the window, I discarded the idea of sneaking out and went out the door to face a weary Crowley.
“How is it that you always know?” I asked, smiling at the thought of all the times he caught us sneaking in.
Shaking his head, he motioned for me to take a seat. “It’s a parent thing, I have a sixth sense for you children when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to,” he replied, with a small twist of his lips. “Now, do you want to tell me what has happened with Tristian? I mean, he is the reason for your visit.” He sighed, pointing to the seat across from him.
Not bothering to deny it, I asked, “Is he here?” I sat down, feeling just a weary as he looked.
“No, he went out early in the day and hasn’t been home since. He was quite occupied with something on his mind and needed time to think,” he replied, looking at me expectantly.
Not ready to share my secrets and give him the answers he sought, I said, “I’ve asked you this before and you’ve never answered.” Seeing that I caught his interest, but his smile telling me he knew I was changing the subject, I quickly asked, “How long have our people been here in the caves?” The hoped-for answer had taken on new meaning for me.
For a long time he stared at me, so long I didn’t think he was going to answer. So when he spoke I jumped a little. “No one is truly sure. The best answer that I can give you is around three thousand years, but I believe that it has been longer, but by how much I don’t know.”
Starting slowly, I said, “I know that the world above us was destroyed, but after so long could it have...” I grasped for the right word. “Could it have repaired itself? Could there be life there again?” I finished, unable to think how else to word it.
“I’m not a scientist, Misty, I don’t know if it could repair itself.”
Suddenly I was not so tired. “That’s not what I asked, Crowley, do you think that it could have repaired itself?”
“Yes, I think that it could have repaired itself,” he answered, smiling softly. “I think that nature may have had to bend to our will but it did not break.”
I nodded my head in relief. “Has anyone ever gone to check to see if the surface was livable again?” I asked, trying to hide my excitement.
“That I know of, no. No one has been to the surface since the tunnels were sealed after we entered all those centuries ago.” Leaning forward, he asked, “Misty, why all these questions?”
Staring at him, I made my decision. “Hypothetically, if you could take Tristian to the surface and escape the lottery, would you?”
“Yes,” he said, no hesitation in his words.
“Even not knowing if there is anything up there to escape to?”
“I’d take him anyway. Better he died up there free than a slave to the system here,” he answered with venom, hating as much as I the hopelessness of it all.
“I feel the same way for my sisters,” I whispered, choked with emotion. “What if I told you that there is a map of the caverns?”
“I would say that is a very dangerous thing to have,�
� he said slowly, sitting up a little straighter at my words.
“And hypothetically, what if this map showed hundreds of caves? Caves filled with Contributors who knew nothing about each other?” I finished, looking in his eyes so he could see the truth of my words.
His sharp indrawn breath was loud in the silent room. As I watched his eyes, I saw the possibilities this knowledge brought flash through them. A key turning in the lock broke our connection, causing us both to turn and watch the door in apprehension. Relief flooded the room when Tristian walked in. “Sorry I’m late, Dad. I had some things to do, how about we”––he stopped mid-sentence, surprise flashing in his eyes when he saw me. Nodding his head to me he turned cautious eyes to his father.
“Son, come in and sit. Misty and I were having a hypothetical discussion. Why don’t you join us?” he said, breaking the awkward silence, but increasing the Tristian’s tension.
I made room on the small couch next to me, and Tristian stiffly sat down. “How much have you told him?” he asked.
“Some, not all,” I replied, not bothering with pretense.
“I thought we agreed to tell no one,” he growled, his anger clear. Not because he didn’t trust his father, but because he knew the danger of the knowledge we had.
“Your father has information we need,” I said, reaching out and taking his hand. I waited until he looked at me. “And you never would have left without telling your father good-bye,” I whispered, pleading with my eyes to help him understand why we had to share this burden with his father. When I felt his thumb glide across my hand, I knew I was forgiven because he knew I was right.
“Where did you get this information?” Crowley asked, breaking in.
“Rose gave it to me before the lottery. She became a Secretary to gather information so I could escape with my sisters,” I told him, pride and sorrow clear in my voice.
“Why wouldn’t she bring it to me?” Crowley muttered.
“What do you mean? Why would she bring it to the Elders? She was a Secretary, an outcast,” I said, confused as to why he would think she would bring it to the people who scorned her.
Indecision played in his eyes before he answered me. “Your cousin was part of an infiltration group trying to gather information on the government and the caverns. She was the best we had. No one knew that she was an operative other than myself and one other Elder. It was safer for her this way. We believe that there have been government plants among the Elders since the conception of the lottery, feeding them information that have gotten many of our best agents killed. Your cousin was working with us to stop the lottery and force the government to see us as equals,” he finished, staring at me in complete earnest belief of his cause.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Not a little giggle, but a full-blown laugh of hysterics. My Rose had a secret life. A life that risked every member of our family and she never told me. My best friend. The hand that struck me wasn’t light. Shocked, I brought my hand to my cheek and turned large eyes to Tristian, who stood in front of me holding me by my upper arms, concern clear on his face. Releasing one arm, he brought a gentle finger to my face, wiping away tears I didn’t realize I was shedding. Turning my head to a concerned Crowley, I couldn’t help the scorn that entered my voice. “Do you want to know why Rose didn’t bring you what she found?” When all he did was shake his head, it released the flood gate of emotion that I had been holding back. Wanting to lash out and hurt someone as I hurt, I said, “She didn’t bring it to you because you think you can force the government to see us as equals. To them we are about as equal as a bug under your shoe. You see, they will never see us as equals because they don’t want their main course sitting at their table talking, but well-seasoned and on their plates.” I laughed cruelly, pulling my arm from Tristian before sitting back on the couch and hugging myself. I felt no better at the pain he was about to know made worse at the harshness of my delivery.
“I don’t understand. What are you saying? You’re not making sense!” he shouted. Confused and not getting an answer from me, he turned to Tristian. “What is she talking about?” Crowley demanded.
Sighing, Tristian sat down next to me and motioned for his father to retake his seat. When he reached over to take my hand, I shoved it under my armpit and scooted over as far as I could away from him. “Did you know?” I asked, having to know the truth. His silence was answer enough that my two only friends had lied to me. If they lied to me about this, what else were they keeping secret from me? Did I really ever know either of them? “How long?” I asked again.
“How long what, Misty?” he wearily asked.
Turning my head to face him, I gritted out through my teeth, “How long was Rose part of whatever this is?”
With a closed expression, he stared into my eyes. “Since before her brothers went to the Cavern of Death. They were the members who brought her in.”
Nodding my head once that I understood, I dismissed him and turned to look at Crowley. Pushing down my emotions, I focused my dead gaze onto him. “To answer your question, Rose gave me two things: a map and a vid disc, telling me that no one must ever know because it would put the whole cavern under a death sentence. She gave these things to me to help me escape to the surface with my sisters. Obviously I told Tristian and now I am going to tell you, but I need your word––for what it’s worth––that for now everything will remain between the three of us.” Receiving a nod, I continued. “There are over four hundred occupied caverns with populations ranging from five thousand to one hundred thousand each. These figures come from the vid disc that we watched. I’m not sure how many are occupied by Contributors, but Rose led me to believe most of them were. We also saw that it was the government, not the Contributors that set into motion the cleansing called the Revelation. They had lost and instead of accepting defeat, they destroyed the surface, forcing us to admit defeat or die above. Unfortunately that isn’t the worst that the vid disc has shown us.” Stopping to take a breath, I closed my eyes and hardened my heart to what I was about to say. “Twenty years after the destruction of the surface, the animals brought below sickened and died, greatly reducing the caverns’ food sources. There were riots running rampant through the caverns. To hold control, the government brutally put the Contributors down and forced them to sign a new treaty that solved all the government’s problems. The new treaty took care of population control. It took care of the sick and old, allowing for a young workforce at all times”––stopping, I looked into Crowley’s eyes, holding them to mine to make sure he understood what I was about to say––“and it took care of the food shortages because every year a new herd of cattle is butchered.”
Shaking his head in confusion, he said, “I don’t understand, you said that all of the animals died thousands of years ago. How could there still be meat?” Instead of answering him, I just stared at him, forcing him to accept the truth staring him in the face. Minutes passed and a hundred emotions flashed across his face before I saw the truth of my words sink in, followed by the horror its reality brings. “You’re wrong,” he whispered in despair, turning to his son. “Please tell me it’s not true,” he pleaded.
“I can’t,” Tristian softly answered before angrily swiping the stray tear that drifted down his cheek.
As mad as I was at Tristian and his father, I shared their grief and burden of this truth. Rising from the couch, I laid a gentle hand on Crowley before moving away. This was not something that needed to be shared. Each had to deal with this horror alone as they came to terms with their own guilt of what they had unwittingly done and what had been done to their children, families, and friends. Walking to the door, I quietly let myself out, wondering if any of us would ever come to terms to with what had been done in the shadows of the Cavern of Death.
Chapter 4
By the time I got up in the morning, Josie and Tina were gone. A quickly left message in the kitchen stated that they had gone to work at the fabric factory for their shift and would return
later. I knew they were avoiding me, having feigned sleep when I had returned last night so they wouldn’t have to speak to me. The silence of the house was unsettling. I was rarely home alone, so I never realized how quiet it could be. Was this how it was when you were the last member of your family? Was this what they came home to until it was their time to enter the Cavern of Death? If it was, I could imagine that they looked at the cavern in relief, knowing that they wouldn’t be going back to their empty homes. That they finally had an end to the madness that the unending silence brought.
The knock on the door wasn’t loud, but echoed through the lifeless house. Going to it, I was careful to stay to the side and remain unseen as I peeked through the curtain to see who was there. Unsurprised at my visitor, I unlocked the door. Opening it enough for him to enter, I stepped to the side and waited. After a moment’s hesitation, he crossed the threshold and I silently closed it and relocked it, trying to keep the world at bay. Moving past him, I went to the living room, not bothering to see if he followed, and took a seat. The silence stretched in the small room, until he broke and said what he came here to say: “I would like to see the vid disc that you spoke of.”
“Wait here,” I said, before rising and retrieving it from its hiding spot. Opening the vid display, I brought up the video, pausing it before it could begin. Walking to his side, I placed it in his outstretched hands. “Just press play,” I murmured, before resuming my seat across from him. We both sat in silence as the words began to fill the empty void of the room. I didn’t need to watch it again; it was seared into me so as its words reached me, its accompanying images played back in my mind. As the last word left that evil woman’s mouth and the room went quiet again, I had to fight down the nausea that had come with it.
“Tristian’s lottery is next year,” he croaked, trying to fight back his emotions. “I can’t let him go to the lottery. You will take him with you.”
In The Shadows of the Cavern of Death (Shadows of Death Book 1) Page 3