“More manageable, yes,” he snorted, before looking at me, his voice grave, “but more respected, no. Did you know that your name is whispered in every town, village, and city?” I shook my head, while he continued. “It has come to have the same meaning as freedom. One day, hopefully soon, it will be whispered among the people of your caverns, they’ll know that you stood up when no one else would. The men and woman that rush to join us come to fight for you. You represent what was lost all those years ago. A willingness to fight and die not because you have something to gain, but because it is the right thing to do.”
“I’m not a hero and I’m sure as hell not going to be a martyr if I can help it. I don’t want to be the reason they fight,” I said angrily.
Smiling sadly, he said, “You, child, are a beacon in the darkest night, you stand there guiding us all from the darkness. A darkness that descended over this land thousands of years ago when in an act of greed and vengeance the evil of man destroyed it rather than admitting that they were wrong. The dust eventually settled, life returned, and the sun rained its rays down upon the land once more, but the darkness of that deed has never left. We made peace with evil rather than fight for what we knew to be right. We turned an eye from the suffering of our own, afraid that if we acted, we would join them. We live in shame not because we did something, but because we did nothing. Then you, a girl that had everything to gain by her silence, stood up and spoke out loudly and said what in our shame we didn’t. I know that you don’t see it, but what you have begun has spread far and wide burning a blaze of righteousness across these lands and our people’s hearts. They can no longer hide in ignorance, but must step out and join you in the light of truthfulness that no darkness can hide.” Pointing at me, he said, “You are the brightest star that blazes in the sky, guiding them on their journey in the darkest, most moonless night. You are still there, seen by all, revered because you can do what no other has, unite our people once more and guide them to freedom.”
Pain and fear moved though me at his words. “I didn’t ask for this. I don’t want it, I’m not a leader,” I denied, standing up and going to the door. Opening it, I froze at his next words.
“Greatness is not asked for, it is given to those who can carry the burden,” he said, leaning back into his chair. “You will go to the Stone City and fight. I know you well enough to know that you would never have stayed out of it. I just ask that you remember one thing, death is easy; it’s life that is hard.”
“That, Victor, is lesson that I never have to be reminded of,” I replied, closing the door and swiftly making my way through the hall.
Ignoring the smiles thrown at me, I tried not to run as I went toward a small side exit. I needed to be outside this place that was crushing me. I didn’t want the burden of another life. Three had been in my keeping and I had not been able to save even one. Now he tells me thousands upon thousands are my responsibility. He was insane if he thought that I would accept this. Let another bear the pains of their deaths, I had no more room inside me. Finally reaching the door, I ordered the guard to open it, impatient when he checked to make sure it was safe. As soon as there was enough room, I pushed myself through, unable to wait. Racing forward, I blindly went into the woods.
The whips of the branches smacked me as I rushed forward, raising my hands to protect my face. I welcomed the pain that each hit brought to my arms. Running until I felt as if my heart would burst, I collapsed into a useless pile. Why couldn’t they leave me alone? I didn’t ask for any of this. I wasn’t even supposed to be alive. I should have died in the caverns instead of the girls. I should have been the one taken in the village instead of Tristian. I should have died a hundred times in the place of those I’d loved. I should have died for the lives I’ve taken and yet here I was. A broken shell whose hate and pain was too deep to show. This was what they wanted to stand there as inspiration. Wrapped in my own pain that Victor’s words had set free, I didn’t hear Michael’s approach. When he gathered me him his arms, I didn’t open my eyes, uncaring who it was, just wishing that it was finally over. That he had finally come to end it and set me free. Opening my eyes, I looked and whispered a tormented “please.” Please set me free, I silently begged with my eyes.
Instead of heeding my unspoken words, his eyes turned hard and he stopped rocking me. “Please?” he asked, deceptively soft. Closing my eyes, wanting to block him and the world out, I wasn’t given that option. A firm hand gripped my face, squeezing until I relented and looked at him. “Please what? Let you run into the woods to be captured or please let you die?” he asked, again in a deceptively soft voice.
“Yes, both, either, I don’t care,” I dully answered, already moving away mentally since he would not let me go physically.
As if he sensed my retreat, he jerked my face sharply, causing me to focus on the hard lips descending to mine. Roughly, they consumed my mouth, forcing me to react, to feel. Unable to retreat, I pushed forward giving to him as hard as he gave to me. Raising my arm, I dug my fingers into his hair gripping hard. I wanted him to hurt as I hurt. I wanted him to hurt me as I hurt him just so I could feel. Pushing myself up, I toppled us, rolling around in the grass, leaves, and dirt until I lay flat on my back with him tightly pressed above me. With angry hands, I pushed his jacket from his body so he could feel my nails as I dug them into him. Ripping and pulling at one another, I reveled in it, loving the pain. Completely in the moment, I felt the exact second when it changed. Gentling the kiss, he forced me to comply. Pulling my hands between us, he held them still with one hand and my face with the other. Moving from my lips he placed feather kisses on my face, moving to my neck.
What I had been trying to escape came back, firmly dancing before my eyes, but I was in control now, my calm façade back in place. “Michael, let me up, we have to go.” Resting his forehead into my neck, we sat like that until our breath evened out and heartbeats were steady once more. In a fluid motion, he rose up, pulling me with him. Silently we walked side by side. We walked back not touching. Reaching the door, the guard opened it and I entered, leaving him to go where he would while I gathered my bag and headed down to the transportation room. We would be going in as soldiers. There were enough currently roaming in the Stone City and Twin Rivers that we would just blend in.
Chapter 21
The roads were almost deserted; something wasn’t right. It was late into the night when we made it to Twin Rivers and hadn’t passed one checkpoint. The streets were empty at this hour and the silence was eerie. Parking our vehicle, we made our way on foot the last few blocks to the safe house. The place was pitch black when we entered and turning on the light, we found Johnathon slumped face-down in a pool of blood on the floor. Rushing to him, I carefully rolled him over while the others moved to check the area to make sure that we were safe to stay here. The moan that he gave was music to my ears. Getting up, I rushed to the sink and got a bowl of water. Sitting down, I put his head into my lap and wiped the blood from his face. Looking up, I saw Michael and another standing there motioning for me to move. Scrambling out of the way, I hovered as they lifted him up and put him on a bed. Once they stepped back, I moved forward and removed his shirt. His body was worked over so badly I didn’t know how he made it here, never mind how he was still alive.
For an hour Michael and I worked together fixing what we could. Once his ribs were wrapped and the final stitch put in, Michael brought an injection to Johnathon’s neck, unable to wait for answers any longer. Pain clouded his eyes as he opened them. He gazed around the room unseeing, until he landed on Michael. Sharp focus entered his eyes as his hand snaked out, encircling Michael’s wrist and tugging him forward. “They know,” he hoarsely pushed out. Picking up a glass for water, I slowly fed it to him, stopping when he made to turn his head away. Clearing his throat, he tried again, “They know that we know about the attack.” Pulling his weak body up, he continued. “They’ve pushed it up, it will begin at dawn. The attack will begin at dawn,” he got o
ut, before releasing his grip on Michael and collapsing back, wheezing in pain.
Watching as they all raced around, I felt the horrors of those words resonate through me––they knew. The attack would happen at dawn and we weren’t prepared. They were trying to raise the main base to warn them, but couldn’t get through. All signals were being jammed. Rushing over to Michael, I said, “We have to try to get someone out of here to warn the others. That’s why it was so easy to get in––they want us in. They want us here trapped.”
Calling over the two men by the door, he said, “Hanson, Ellis, we need you to try and get out of the town, deep into the forest, where you can broadcast a signal.”
Their “yes, sirs” were still in the air as they picked up the equipment that they would need and silently slipped into the night. There was almost no chance that they would make it, we all knew it, but we still needed to try. There was only five hours left until dawn and when that happened all hell would break lose. How did they know? How did they know? Going back to Johnathon, I could see he was fighting to remain conscious. Kneeling down, I asked, “How did they know?” hoping that he was lucid enough to answer. When all I got was silence, I started to rise. “The spies,” he whispered. Quickly kneeling back down, I asked, “What spies?”
“You moved the spies,” he said, before losing himself to unconsciousness, causing it to click in my mind. The spies the city sent to infiltrate the bunker. How would that matter unless… “Michael,” I strangled out, “they know.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked, not bothering to look up from the map he was poring over with the others.
“They know we were there.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t have time for this.”
Standing up, I walked over and stood across the table from him. Slamming my hands down, I said, “They know that we were in the city. Somehow they know. They knew that we knew about the Prey, now either someone within has betrayed us, or they knew we were at the Loyalist city,” I yelled, my chest heaving, my eyes wild. Taking a deep breath, I said, “so either you didn’t erase us off the video like you thought or we have a traitor within our command unit, because everyone we sent out was vetted and we still didn’t tell them what was going on. They only thought that they were going to spy, not getting their true orders until tomorrow.”
“That means that the bunker could be in danger.”
“Yes. We have to help them.”
“We can’t.”
Looking around at the others, their heads bowed, I couldn’t believe what he said. “What do you mean we can’t? Most of the troops have been sent out, making their way to their orders, all that’s left down there is just a small group of troops, women, children, and the old––they’ll be slaughtered.”
Raising his face up to look into mine with stark emotion, he harshly whispered, “Do you think we don’t realize that? Do you think that we don’t know that our families are down there, all but defenseless?” Hardening his voice, he straightened, “We can’t help them. We can’t help anyone unless we can figure out a way to organize the troops we have in the town and city and take it before daybreak. So you telling us about the deaths of our families isn’t helping. If you want to help, shut up and figure out a way that doesn’t include the complete slaughter of our people. If you can’t do that, go over there and wallow in what can’t be changed, but either way, we have work to do,” he spat out, dismissing me and turning back to the map.
Stepping back from the table, I walked past them and straight out the door into the brisk night air. Going deep into the shadows, I let the silence surround me as the truth of his words sunk in. I had let my emotions rule me and made an impossible situation worst. This was why I never opened myself to people––I didn’t want to care. Caring meant that you could get hurt because the truth was that above or below there was nothing that you could to do to help. That’s why I’ve always stayed to myself, pushing everyone that ever meant anything to me away, so that I could protect myself from the pain of knowing that no matter what I did, I couldn’t save them. My self-pity wouldn’t help me or anyone else for once. I needed my emotions and the logic they brought. That’s what I needed––I needed to remember that it wasn’t one group that mattered, but the whole and what the whole needed was each other.
Getting up, I went back in, ignoring the side looks I received and going straight to Johnathon. “Wake up,” I said, shaking him hard. I slapped him across the face. “Wake up!” I yelled into his ear until he blearily opened his eyes. “Where did this happen?” I demanded.
“Lets me rest,” he mumbled.
I didn’t have time for this, shaking him hard, I asked, “Where were you attacked?”
This time, his eyes were more focused. “The town barracks.”
“Who attacked you?”
“City soldiers.”
“Did any of your troops survive?”
“Yes, locked below. They never had a chance,” he answered, his words coming quicker as his mind worked through his pain.
“We can’t get a signal out. Did you notice any equipment when you were escaping?”
“No, I was too busy running.”
“Were you still receiving transmissions before you were attacked?”
“Yes,” he said, more slowly this time. I was losing him.
“Johnathon, I need you to stay with me just a moment longer, OK?” I said. When he moved his head in as much of a nod as he could, I went on. “Do you know if they took the city guard or if they stopped with you?”
“Just us, I heard them say that they were taking the city tomorrow,” he slurred, before drifting back into sleep.
Squeezing his shoulder, I stood up and left him to his rest, turning to the others who were glaring at me. Justin, the one next to Michael, sneered at me, saying, “It’s bad enough that you want to kick us when we’re down, but to beat on an already beaten man, it’s no wonder your government treats you like animals, that’s what you are.”
Taking a deep breath, I took the hate he has throwing at me in, allowing it to feed my own. “What I was doing was finding out if the soldiers’ base of operation was in the town. Which means that the transmission blocker is in that building with them, along with armed troops that will gladly join us. Not nearly as important as staring at a map and wondering where is the best spot to make your last stand, I know, but an animal like myself isn’t going to roll over and die, we’re going to bite the hand before it has a chance to beat us,” I told him coldly, going and gathering what I would need. Throwing the bag over my shoulder, I went for the door.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Michael said, gripping my arm. “We need to come up with a plan––rushing out there will only get you killed.”
The coldness in my voice turned to frost. “I have a plan. I’m going to turn myself in.”
The harsh shake he gave me told me before he opened his mouth that he wasn’t pleased. “Turn yourself in, then what, get killed while taking a few of them out and losing the element of surprise for the rest of us?”
“No, Michael, it will get me in there close enough to use this jammer,” I said, swiping it from the packs, and waving it in his face, “which will give you enough time to get a message out.” I yanked my arm from his grip. The tick in his jaw told me that he wanted to argue, but my plan was sound. Going with the advantage his silence was giving me, I said, “I’ll scout the area. Send your men out to gather as many as they can to help after your guy there”––I pointed to the guy still twisting knobs––“gets the message out that your group will attack. They’ll be distracted by me so it will give you the element of surprise. Take the guards outside down quietly and the ones on the inside won’t know what hit them.”
“Do you understand what they’ll do to you?” he quietly asked.
“Guess Victor was right,” I said, with a small grim smile. Opening the door, I said, “In one hour I go in. Have your men in place by then.” Quietly closing t
he door behind me, I headed into a connecting alley. I had a pretty good sense of direction and from the map what I was looking for should be in this direction. I needed a vantage point and a few alleys over I found a ladder that took me up a building tall enough to get a decent view. Keeping my body low, I looked out and waited, I didn’t have long. Watches had been placed on four roofs surrounding the barracks, which was typical. They’d have to be removed if the others had a chance––the only reason I saw them was because I knew what I was looking for from years of experience. To Michael and his men, their eyes would just glaze over them as if they were fixtures of the buildings.
Carefully going back down, I allowed what the cavern had made me to come forth. I knew that the others thought that that the first lives I had taken had been in the service of the rebellion, but they couldn’t have been more wrong. Life in the cavern was not for the squeamish and those who were not ready and willing to do what they must weren’t the ones who survived. A young pretty girl left on her own to wander was something the more dark-hearted below couldn’t pass up. Fissures and crevices are filled with the unlikely who thought to take what I wasn’t willing to give or had what I need for my family to survive. I wasn’t a killer without reason, but I was a survivor for a reason. I could turn off my emotions and become what I needed to be when I needed it. And at this moment, it was more a blessing than the curse, what was left of my heart felt it was.
With silence I moved, becoming a part of the shadows that I was. Scaling the building walls was no different than doing so on the cavern walls. My hands and feet found unerringly each hold to help my climb. There was no hurry in my movements even though time was running out. To each building I made my way, leaving unseeing eyes behind at each spot I visited. Finally finished, I took as many as I dared on my way in on the ground, knowing that they wouldn’t be missed until it was too late. At my last kill, I stopped, leaving my bag and weapons that I couldn’t hide. The jammer was a small piece that shouldn’t be too hard to hide, but it had to be in a spot I could still reach if my hands were bound. I wouldn’t be able to turn it on until I was inside and all eyes were on me; if I did it any sooner, they would just reconfigure and all of this would be for not. Tucking the piece into my hair that was held up tightly, I’d learned long ago that it wasn’t a place that others thought to search and the heavy mass had been an advantage to me on more than one occasion.
In The Shadows of the Cavern of Death (Shadows of Death Book 1) Page 18