"I know this seems crazy to you Angela, but I know these people and I know what they're capable of. We had to act quickly to make sure we at least had a story that put you in a better light." He hated breaking her into the industry this way, but this was the real music business.
"What about how it's going to make you look Nolan," he'd basically told the press, if she understood him correctly, that he seduced her into being with him. Her reputation wasn't a big deal to her, she knew her best friend would trust what she said, and no one else really mattered, but he was a public figure.
"I don't give a damn what they think about me Angela," he admitted to feeling amazed that she cared what happened to him, most of the women he knew would have only thought of themselves. "You let me worry about me, we've got an album to produce and then we need to get you out there in the public performing."
Again she was confused, "What are you talking about Nolan, I'm not making an album, I haven't even made the final cuts on the show."
"I know this is going to move fast, but the show is no longer an option, you get the recording contract and I know the public is going to adore you."
She was no longer a part of the show, her heart dropped in her stomach, wait a minute, did he just say she was being given a recording contract? "Look Nolan, if I have to leave the show I understand, but there's no reason to offer me that contract, I didn't earn it." Going back home was going to kill her, but she couldn't let him do this.
"Don't act like I'm doing you a favor Angela," he refused to let her have any self-doubts with him, "you're going to make me tons of money off this album, and I don't want to hear another word about it." She was not going back to working as a waitress with all that talent she possessed, he determined.
She sat back in the chair overwhelmed by what he was offering her. "I'm not sure I can let you do this Nolan." It would be completely wrong to accept this contract, she thought, it was a great dream and a different person might have jumped at the chance, but she wanted to prove she was worthy enough to get this on her own.
He knew she didn't think she deserved this, and decided to up the stakes. "Do you honestly think you can just go back to your former life with the press hounding you at every corner? Have no doubt when I tell you that for the next few months you'll be the hottest news story around, and you'll need my protection." He felt like a clad for trying to force her hand in this, but she deserved the chance to shine.
"Stop it Nolan, we'll tell them the truth and you can go back to your normal life. You don't have to keep up a pretense of wanting me." He was being a really great guy here, but she couldn't take advantage of him this way.
"Who says its pretense Angela," he stood up and walked around the desk until he was standing before her. Sinking down on his knees in front of her chair, he caught her eyes. "Make no mistake about it, I want you, I just don't want you to be under the impression that I'm a forever kind of man." For the first time in his life, he truly wished he was that type of person, but he couldn't lie to her.
She only thought she was shocked when he dropped the other bombshell, now she was completely floored. He was Nolan Fitzgerald, why would he want some nobody when he could have any woman he chose. "You don't have to lie to me Nolan," it wasn't fair for him to use her own growing interest in him against her, she thought.
He stood and reached down to lift her to her feet. Without hesitation his lips found hers and he kissed her passionately. Breaking the kiss, he pulled his lips back slightly to speak. "Never doubt that I don't want you again." His lips returned to hers, and he held her against him tightly, letting her feel just how much his body responded to her.
She couldn't breathe as he continued to ravage her with his kiss, and she felt the evidence of his desire through his jeans. Instead of terror, she felt a longing that frightened her in a completely different kind of way. This was a man who could break her if he played with her emotions, and he'd just admitted he wasn't a forever kind of guy. Knowing all that, she still couldn't deny the attraction she felt for him.
He couldn't continue kissing her like this, unless she was willing to belong to him, even if only for a short time. She deserved to know the truth about the type of man he was and the dark desires he had before she could make that decision. Stepping back he walked around to his desk and sat in his chair once more. "We've got a few things that have to be cleared up and I want you to hear me out before you talk about running back home again."
She could only stare at him, her mind still focusing on that mind blowing kiss. After a few seconds she managed to nod, knowing that he had nothing to worry about when it came to her interrupting at the moment, she couldn't seem to breathe, much less talk.
"I hope there is no more doubt in your mind about how much I want you now Angela," he smiled, allowing his eyes to roam over her sitting demurely in the chair. "If there is, let me just say that if I didn't want you this conversation wouldn't be taking place at all."
She wasn't going to argue with him, even if she found it shocking that a man like him could even look her way. Her eyes were wide as she considered the possibility of being his lover, even though her body was in line with that idea, she wasn't sure what would happen when it came to the actual situation. Denying that she was attracted to him was not even an afterthought.
"Usually I demand a signed agreement before I discuss my personal life with a girlfriend, but I'm going out on a limb here and trusting that you won't say anything to anyone about what we talk about or do." He could see the confusion in her gorgeous eyes, and smiled trying to put her at ease.
Still not finding her voice, she nodded. Whatever he needed to talk about was between them, and she was not the type of person to discuss her personal life, okay she didn't have one but if she did, she wouldn't talk about either.
"Let me make this perfectly clear upfront Angela, if you decide you're not willing to be my lover, we can still pull off the appearance of being together and everything outside the sex will still take place. The recording contract is yours, my support in promoting your career as well. So don't feel like this is an offer you have to accept or lose everything."
Lover, sex, was he really about to have a conversation about wanting to make love to her, she wondered and was overwhelmed. She had to wait until he continued, she really didn't have anything to add to this conversation except complete disbelief.
"So if you decide not to take my offer of a relationship, we'll show up at public events together and of course you'll live with me until we're sure the media is buying the fantasy we're selling. If you do however decide to accept my offer, then that's a little bit of game changer because there are certain things about my life that you need to understand first."
This was it, he decided, time to reveal the dark secret of what he needed in a relationship. He hoped he didn't send her running out the door in fear before he explained. "I'm a Dominant, Angela," he gave a reassuring smile, not wanting her to be afraid, "do you understand what that is?"
That was the last thing she expected to come out of his mouth and for the second time this morning, her mouth fell open. "You like beating women?" The visualization of him in that role just didn't seem to fit at all. She'd met a few bikers at the club she worked at into that lifestyle, but Nolan was so refined, it didn't make sense.
He chuckled self-depreciatively at her comment. "It's not about beating women, Angela, I enjoy a woman surrendering her control so I can pleasure her. Yes, sometimes that involves pain, but in my case only if the submissive enjoys it." He wasn't big on the entire discipline thing, although a little role-play where the submissive was a bad girl that could be enjoyable, he considered.
To say he'd simply thrown her for a loop would be an understatement, and again she wasn't sure how to discuss this. "Nolan I'm afraid I really have no idea what you're asking for here."
"If you agree to a relationship with me Angela, I'm asking that you allow me to control the situation completely. That might include binding your hands, o
r introducing you to new toys, or a variety of sexual situations that I know enhance the ability of pleasure. For me, it's all about being in complete control of the bedroom play that I absolutely must have."
"Since I have no idea what normal people do in the bedroom, I really don't see why we're even discussing it." Her face heated and she glanced at her hands nervously. She wasn't even sure if she could have normal sex with a man and he was throwing in variables that were completely foreign to her.
"So outside of your abuse, you've never had a lover?" At her nod, he was floored, even though he knew she'd been young when her stepfather had raped her, he'd just assumed she at least had some experience before that.
"I'll be honest Nolan, until I met you I never really wanted any one touch me again." Keeping her eyes on her tightly clenched hands in her lap, she was mortified at admitting that truth.
He would be the biggest asshole in the world to take advantage of her, he thought, even as he knew if she agreed he wasn't giving up this opportunity. He wanted her desperately, and reasoned that he had the chance to show her what passion could really be like, and maybe even heal her in some small way. "If you're willing to trust me Angela, I promise to show you what real desire is all about."
She wanted to accept his offer, just thinking about the kiss they shared made her long for things she'd long given up hope on ever experiencing. A part of her was terrified that she'd never be able to go through with it, and she felt she owed it to him to bring that up. "Nolan, I don't even know if I can make love to a man." The thought of disappointing him was much worse than discovering she was frigid, she thought.
"Take a chance on me Angela," he whispered softly, he might not be able to offer her forever, but he'd give her all of himself he could.
Lifting her eyes to his, she could see the hopeful glint in his eyes and she knew there was no way she could turn him down. "All I ask is your promise that if I find I can't do this, you won't hate me for it."
He stood again and walked over to kneel before her. Putting his large hands over hers, he smiled warmly. "You have my word that no matter what happens between us, I will always respect and care about you." She had no idea what her trust meant to him, but it filled him with so much joy, he fought pulling her into his arms and spinning her around the room. If there was one thing he knew, he would never allow her to regret her trust in him.
Normally he would sign a contract stating exactly what was and was not permissible to a submissive, but with Angela and her limited experience, he knew that just going by what would make her comfortable was enough. He was thrilled at the idea of tutoring her in the art of sex, hoping he could drive away her abusive past with new memories to fill her mind.
Helping her stand, he pulled into a warm embrace, and fought against taking her upstairs and starting her education today. He wanted to give her time to reconsider, even if his mind was completely against that idea. Thankfully they had enough on their agenda today to keep them busy until later this evening. "We've got a million things to do today, are you ready to get started?"
She hoped he wasn't talking about sex, because a million things in the bedroom seemed a little overwhelming at the moment. "Um, okay I guess?" Her hands were trembling now as she wondered if he'd take her upstairs to his room.
He knew instinctively that she'd misunderstood and smiled patiently. "We need to stop by the hotel, pick up your things, then go down to the studio and get things in motion for the album." He almost chuckled when she gave a sigh of relief, and couldn't wait until she was comfortable enough with him to want to be in his bed more than doing impersonal things.
9 Loving Away the Past
By the time they arrived at the hotel, reporters were swarming the outside entrance, and Nolan squeezed her hand reassuringly before asking her to let him do all the talking. The flashes from the camera were blinding as he escorted her through the crowd, before stopping at the front door. Pulling her protectively to his side, he wrapped a hand around her waist lovingly, before he began answering questions.
Angela rested her head against his shoulder nervously, leaning on him for support as the vultures asked him questions so personal her cheeks were on fire. One reporter even had the audacity to ask if she was so good in bed that Nolan couldn't resist her charms.
"I find that question in such bad taste that it doesn't deserve an answer, but I will say that she is the most remarkable woman I've ever met and I would do everything in my power to protect her." He was furious at the rudeness of these people, and wondered how they lived with themselves.
After answering an endless barrage of personal inquiries, and demanding that all questions be directed at him, he held up his hand. "If you'll excuse me we have some business to attend." Without waiting for their acceptance he opened the hotel lobby door, and escorted her inside.
Sanders was waiting for them, along with two security officers and Angela felt like she had walked into a different world. They all ventured upstairs to the room she shared with Lizzie, but gave her privacy by waiting outside her room as she went in to collect her things.
"So is it true that you and Nolan are a thing now," Lizzie grinned, having been amazed at the morning papers and discovering her roommate was having an affair with none other than Nolan Fitzgerald.
"Yeah it is," she hated lying to her new friend, but she knew that Nolan wanted this story to be believable. And after today, she reminded herself, it would actually be true. "I'm just here to get my things then I'm moving in with him."
"Holy hell girl, that's freaking amazing, but what about the show?"
"Well Nolan and I decided doing the show wouldn't be fair so he offered me a recording contract." She almost grinned as Lizzie's eyes widened at her response.
"That's like finding the pot of gold under a rainbow, Angela, I'm so envious!" Everyone knew that if Nolan Fitzgerald suggested you, it was almost a guarantee of overnight stardom.
"Would you mind helping me get my things together?" She didn't know how to answer Lizzie's statement. "I'm not sure how long Nolan will stand out in the hall before demanding I hurry up."
"Wow, he's here now?" Lizzie was absolutely floored at her friend's new circumstances. She would have never guessed that the two were hooking up from Angela's comments before. "Sure, we don't want to keep the man waiting."
They had everything she owned packed into suitcases within thirty minutes and Lizzy impulsively hugged her as she was about to leave. "Don't forget us little people," she giggled.
Returning her hug, she laughed as well, "I hope you blow them all away at the competition Lizzy." She wasn't just trying to please her friend, Lizzy was an incredible performer and she deserved her own shining star moment.
Nolan didn't bother with niceties as he led her back out of the hotel, through the reporters. He pushed his way through with his hand in hers until she was sitting once again in his car. "I'm afraid it won't get much better when it comes to the press, but as long as you are always with me or one of the security guards you should be fine." With a shrug and a smile he drove toward the studio.
She couldn't imagine having to live through that scenario every day of her life, and wondered for a moment if stardom was actually worth having no privacy. For a quick second she wished she was still back in New Jersey living her quiet life again, that thought reminded her of Rachel. Digging her cell phone out of her purse, she noted the fifteen missed calls from her best friend. She dialed her number quickly and hoped she wasn't overly worried.
"I've been trying to reach you since breakfast honey, are you okay?" Rachel had seen the news release this morning and had almost fainted. Her sweet little Angela would never have gotten involved with anyone without telling her about it, and she knew something was wrong with the picture being painted by the media.
"I'm fine Rach, honest, things just got a little crazy around here." If there was one person in this world she refused to lie to, it was her best friend.
"He hasn't hurt you, has he? I swear
I will rip off his balls and shit down his throat if that man did anything you didn't want!" Nolan might be a celebrity, she thought, but Angela was worth ten of him in her opinion.
Laughing softly at her vicious comment for a moment she forced herself to speak. "I don't think that will be necessary Rach, I'm fine and Nolan's not done anything to warrant him losing that part of his anatomy." She snickered as Nolan looked at her from the driver's side with a raised eyebrow.
"So you guys are really together?" The thought of her best friend finally finding someone who interested her was amazing, as long as she really liked him.
"Well yeah I guess you could say that," that definitely wasn't a lie, after their meeting earlier she was going to become his lover. That thought made her excited and petrified at the same time.
"Honey the way this thing works is either you are sleeping with him, or you're not." Something just didn't seem right here, she thought, but she couldn't really pinpoint what it was.
"I'm moving in with him today," she wanted to tell her the entire story, but before that happened she wanted to explain to Nolan that of all the people in the world Rachel was the one she would trust with her life.
"Wait a minute, isn't that a little sudden honey, I mean having a boyfriend is one thing, moving in together that's a huge commitment." She was really worried about Angela, knowing that if things didn't work out it would crush her.
"Don't give up my room yet, but I want to at least try this Rach," she knew that her small part of the rent was something her friend counted on, but she had no idea how long this would last with Nolan, and also didn't know what the recording company would pay her to begin with.
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