"It doesn't matter how I felt, it was not me," she said feeling resentful that he was asking her to speak about it.
"Humor me then please," he coaxed, needing her to at least admit her true feelings on the matter.
"I felt free, like finally for the first time in my life it was okay to feel." Even as she spat out the words, she realized the truth in what she was saying. "Are you happy, is that going to make you sleep better at night knowing that I'll have to fight what I know I crave now?"
"What doesn't make me happy is that you're fighting your own needs so hard you won't let the truth find you honey." He spoke quietly keeping his hands on the wheel and focusing on the road. She had to make this choice on her own, if she truly wanted her freedom then he couldn't or wouldn't deny her it.
Crossing her arms over her chest, she attempted to shut his words out but her mind wasn't listening. Tears filled her eyes again and she closed them tightly fighting her own emotions. She wanted to hate and blame him but she knew the truth and it wasn't him she was running from. The questions flew around in her thoughts and it was hard to admit that she'd never know the answers if she kept running. Was there a part of her that craved surrendering her entire will to him? Would she come to a point where this no longer enticed her?
He forced himself not to speak. Anything he would say to her right now would be in his own best interests and not hers. This had started way to fast and he should have refused to rush it. If there were more time he could have moved slowly and built her up.
"Sir," she had no idea what she was doing here, "take me back." She spoke the words softly, not wanting to give herself more time to think.
Her words shocked him and he pulled the car over to the side of the road, needing a minute to think before he wrecked. "You want to go back?" He should refuse her, he told himself it was the right thing to do. She wasn't ready for this, and even though he wanted to continue there was no way her own mental security could be compromised.
"I don't know, Sir" she admitted in confusion. She wanted to stay with him but was still afraid of the things he made her feel. Before she could change her mind she told him just that.
Smiling for the first time since she had awakened him, he shook his head. "We are going to go back, but to talk only for now Cayce." Turning the car around he headed back to his mansion. There was no reason to be driving around in the middle of the night, he thought to himself logically. The truth was he didn't want her to leave either. Even if they made the decision not to move on with the farce, he didn't want their time together ending in a way that left her with bad feelings toward him.
They pulled up in front of the mansion and he got out and opened her door. He was unprepared as she got out and her arms wrapped around his neck tightly, holding him as if her entire world would slip away if she let go. Without any thought his arms moved around her waist and held her tightly to him. This woman was quickly working her way into his heart and the thought of wanting to protect her even at the risk of his own needs was overwhelming to a man like him.
She didn't understand the emotions moving through her mind that demanded he forgive her. A part of her knew that she had almost ruined everything by her own insecurities and it terrified her how much she was coming to need this man. "I'm so sorry, Sir," she couldn't stop the tears that fell down her cheeks or the overwhelming sense of failure that filled her at the thought of disappointing him.
Pulling back to look into her eyes he felt his own body respond to the site of her beautiful tears. Reaching down he grabbed her hand, knowing that they were going to talk before he did what his mind was demanding and took her upstairs to his bed. Leading her back into the mansion and into the study he fought for his own control. He wasn't the type of man that did things impulsively and he damn sure wasn't going to start now with this woman.
She sat down in the chair in front of his desk feeling like she was at a business meeting, rather than in the room with the man that controlled her passion. Her hands clasped together in her lap and she lowered her eyes to them, feeling more than a little unsure of what he would say.
The smart thing to do would be to call this entire thing off until he got her sister back, he told himself. He wanted to train this girl but not for someone else, for his own desires and that wasn't what this was about at the moment. "Cayce I think we need to rethink what we're doing here." He spoke the words and didn't like the way they rolled off his tongue. He was selfish enough to admit he wanted her on his own terms now.
"I know I overreacted," she kept her eyes on her hands, "but I can still do this, Sir." She fought back the tears at how easy it was for him to turn her away. The truth was it wasn't just about her sister for her anymore, it was about her needs as well.
"You reacted the way anyone would that had not been initiated into this lifestyle the right way." He refused to let her take the blame for his own error in judgment. "It's not your fault Cayce, we're trying to pack months of training into a few days."
"But I can handle this," she forced her eyes to his, "I think the real problem is I enjoyed it too much and wanted more and it really frightened me." She refused to be anything but honest with him after the way she had reacted.
"The truth is Cayce, most of this is more mental than physical and it's not going to get any easier." They had barely touched the tip of what he expected from a submissive and she was ready to fold, he wasn't sure she was mentally ready to explore those emotions.
He could see she was ready to argue with him and decided to lay it out plainly so there would be no questions about what he expected from anyone he trained. "When I scene in public Cayce, I don't hold back. The submissive's I train are viewed as pain sluts and if I go in with anyone not prepared in that then they'll know it's an act. Do you understand what that means?" He refused to baby her and if she wanted to carry this out then she deserved to understand just how far he would bend her will.
"I would be lying if I said I understood what that meant, Sir." The idea of being anyone's slut, even his was not very comforting she thought to herself.
"Then maybe it's time you did understand,” he stood up and motioned for her to follow him. He didn't stop walking until they reached the dungeon. He had planned on introducing her to each different act during the week gradually, but the last thing he wanted was her to balk during the middle and force him to find another submissive then to take her place.
Walking over to the chest he pulled out several toys and placed them on a cushioned examining table. Picking up a pony plug, he held it up so she could view it. "Do you remember what I told you this was?" He had discussed all his toys with her in detail yesterday after the flogging scene.
"I think you called it a pony tail, Sir?" It was an odd toy that looked like a phallus on one end with colorful leather straps hanging from the other.
"All my submissive's wear this in public Cayce," his hand grasped the seven inch probe before putting it in her hands. "This is the reason I started using the plug training with you, you'll notice it's not exactly small."
The thought of that huge thing inside her made her tense. It was already uncomfortable wearing the smaller plug he changed her to yesterday. Oddly enough, she felt strange not wearing it at the moment and that confused her. "It won't fit, Sir."
He chuckled softly, "It would have by the end of the week, your body is very pliable Cayce." At her disbelieving look he smiled, "Each day I would have changed the plug for a thicker, longer one until you accepted it easily."
Just talking about it made her ache and she shifted her legs attempting to fight the image had her more than a little aroused. "That wouldn't have been intolerable," she whispered with a soft blush finding her cheeks.
He was able to read her body language easily and decided to move on before he gave in to the idea of testing her words. Picking up a small clamp with a long bell attached to it, he handed it over to her. "This is also worn by every submissive I scene with," he opened the clamp as she held it, "this goes on yo
ur clit and gives a nice little pinch and each time you move the bell jingles."
Again she felt her body respond to the thought of having the small little clamp there. "Does it hurt, Sir?" She couldn't imagine it being very comfortable but then again she'd never really been stimulated that way before.
"It takes some getting used to I've been told," the pressure was usually enough to make a submissive come easily when tugged on, he thought to himself. "When I do a scene with this on I like to use a crop on the same area, it heightens the pain senses." He waited for her reaction.
"So you actually use the crop against, um the sensitive area?" This sounded extremely painful and again her mind was torn between arousal and fear as she thought about it.
"The truth is Cayce that my submissive's surrender to my pleasure, which means that whatever I choose to do to your body, you allow to please me." He wanted that fact to sink home with her. "By giving over your own needs, you allow me to take you beyond what you thought yourself capable of enduring. Of course if it's so overwhelming that you can't handle it, then you have your safe words."
She considered his words and tried to understand why any woman would agree to this. Remembering how she had felt under the flogger yesterday it made a little more sense to her. By trusting him she had found a pleasure greater than any she had known before. There was also a strange sense of fulfillment in pleasing him, knowing she had put her entire life in his hands. The thought of disappointing him made her own heart ache, she could only guess that was how other submissive's felt that discovered this life.
"I use these clamps on the breasts," he let the small clamps connected with a small chain fall into her hands. "Depending on my mood, I might lead my submissive around by them instead of a collar and leash." He watched her inspect them, running her fingers over the clamps. "There is one scene I have in mind that I know Serif will be unable to resist." It was very advanced and this should open her eyes to the seriousness of the situation.
"Serif has been known to push a submissive to the absolute limit of what she can tolerate." He didn't mention that he enjoyed testing such boundaries himself because it really didn't matter at the moment. "Rape scenes are a huge turn on for him and I thought to create something that would entice him to the point of aching to do that to you, instead of just watching me."
"You planned on raping me in front of him, Sir?" She wasn't sure what to say to that. How did a person agree or disagree with rape, she thought, attempting to understand his motives.
"The idea Cayce would be to make it appear like rape, it's very hard to commit such an act when the submissive has her safe words in play." "All of those items I’ve just shown you would be used and I would do some very extensive bondage as well to whet his appetite even more." He knew that Serif wouldn't be able to resist, he was having a hard time, if he was honest with himself.
"So you're saying we would have sex in front of him, Sir," she whispered the words shocked. What concerned her more was the fact that she wanted to be with him that way, but definitely not in front of another person.
"Sex isn't a dirty word Cayce, and not the normal way."
"I'm afraid you lost me on the normal thing, Sir."
"It would be anal, Cayce." He wasn't going to explain his motives to her, because they were his own personal issues. If she decided to still go through with this, then after all was said and done he would give her the choice to stay with him as his own.
"But I've never done anything like that, Sir." She knew first hand just how well-endowed he was and could only see the pain issue behind it.
"Then you've got a decision to make Cayce." He had meant to get straight to the point and give her the chance to back out. "This is what I know will work to get that invitation and I never said it would be easy." The best thing that could happen was for her to realize she wasn't ready to pull this off, he thought to himself. He would go return her sister and offer her the chance to belong to him when the deed was done.
"You have my word Cayce that I will get your sister back without you putting yourself through this." He didn't want her to think for a moment that he was going to leave Cait with Serif. What he was proposing was something most submissive's took months of training to accomplish, and he had been crazy to think he could fast forward her education even with twenty-four hours a day to practice.
It would be so easy to just give in and forget how hard the next few days would be, but she was not going to make the same mistake twice. "I need to think about this, Sir."
"I'm glad you feel that way Cayce, I'm going to call an old friend and ask her to stop by in case you choose not to do this." He was very proud of her for not giving in without considering the consequences and he smiled warmly. "Why don't we get some rest and see how things look in the morning." Standing up he held out his hand for her.
She took his hand and followed him back to the bedroom. He didn't ask her to undress and she slid into the bed in her clothes knowing she'd never sleep. Her eyes watched as he stripped down and climbed under the covers.
He smiled warmly then pulled her against him. "Get some rest honey, tomorrow is soon enough to worry about the rest." He held her until she finally fell asleep it was almost dawn when rest finally found him.
6 Jealousy
Dylan had mixed feelings as he called Elizabeth the next morning. He knew well how her time at the Island had affected her and feared that bringing those memories back might interfere with her happiness. It had taken months of training to get her back in a position of trust, and the last thing he wanted was to bring back painful memories of her past. She agreed to come over and talk with him later and asked permission to bring her Master.
Jerry and Elizabeth had married six months ago and he had been the best man at the wedding. It was a match he fully approved of since the two seemed to be so perfect together. They were both highly respected in the business community, and Elizabeth was one of the most sought after financial advisors in their area. Being a submissive was her own idea of stress relief as it gave her the ability to have that private time in her life where she didn't have to be the one in control of everything.
Dylan explained their relationship as he and Cayce sat down to lunch, waiting for their arrival. It felt oddly comforting to have her sit with him as an equal and he decided that it was a feeling he would have to evaluate when he had more private time. "I think you'll like Elizabeth," he didn't mention that she reminded him a lot of her when she first began training. Prior to meeting him she had been a well-educated woman with no self-confidence who felt like she didn't deserve love.
"This is the submissive who escaped the Island, Sir?" She doubted seriously she would like any woman that Dylan had trained. Without knowing why, the thought of him being with any other woman angered her.
"Escape would probably be the wrong word since they don't hold people prisoner," although he thought, mentally badgering might be considered the same thing as being captured to a woman with no self-confidence. Serif preyed on those types of submissive's, feeding them with lies about how only he could accept them for who they truly were. "But yes, she did leave the island."
"Is this Serif so difficult to resist, Sir?" She honestly couldn't imagine a man being so appealing that women just lined up to be his shared play toy. The thought was disgusting, lifting her lip into a sneer.
Smiling at her expression he thought for a moment. "Well he lures them in to this tropical paradise and promises them that they'll live a life of luxury with no one to please but himself. He chooses women that have little self-confidence, and likes the type he can easily bend to his will." Serif was a strange man in his opinion, and he truly didn't understand his thought process for the most part. "Most women find him physically attractive, and he has this charm that pulls them in." A submissive was a treasure to be cared for, he thought and not to be exploited and used to benefit ones business dealings. The fact that these women were pimped out as prostitutes didn't sit well at all on his conscious. "After h
e has full control of them mentally, he makes them believe it is an honor to serve his business acquaintances."
"So they become his whores?" She was shocked that any woman would agree to that no matter how a man made them feel.
"There are those Master's that ask that of their submissive's." Dylan was not one that agreed with the method, but he tried to not be judgmental. Where Serif was concerned it was not a form of submission, but a way to improve his business profits, this was where his real problem came to the surface with the man. If a submissive and her Master both agreed to taking other partners, then so be it he thought, but to use a woman and basically become her pimp, that to him had nothing to do with their lifestyle.
"Okay that's just disgusting," shaking her head at the thought of allowing any man to be that controlling had her seriously rethinking things," Sir."
"It's not something I approve of Cayce, but I also think that people have to decide what works for them."
"Wait a minute," she knew she had to be misunderstanding him, "you think a Master has the right to ask his submissive to sleep with other men." The thought that he could approve of something like that really angered her.
"What I am implying is that if the Master and the submissive both want these things, then who am I to tell them it's wrong?" He really didn't understand what she was so upset about.
"So let's say I became your submissive, and not just for this show we're trying to pull off, you would consider it okay to share me with your friends?"
"Cayce did you miss the part when I said it wasn't something I approved of," she seemed to be in the mood to argue and he wasn't really sure why.
"The truth is this whole Master submissive thing just gives you the right to sleep with as many women as you want, doesn't it?" She wasn't sure why she was so angry but the thought of him with another women really just ticked her off.
"Okay why don't we really discuss what's going on here Cayce, because honestly you're not making much sense or staying on topic here." He was starting to get a little angry himself and it wasn't like him to lose his temper.
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