Circle of Wolves

by Jacqueline Roth

  Catching the look on Evan’s face, Alexi’s smile widened into a grin. “Don’t worry, Sonya picked them out. The staff checked your laundry and got us the sizes. We dropped off the information on our way down and Father picked these up as he came through the village.”

  He pointed to Evan’s jeans. “Those too. Everything, my friend.” He began to lay out the clothes.

  “Do you intend to dress me? ’Cause let’s just say I’d rather pass,” Evan asked slightly amused. He had gathered there was some elaborate dressing ritual that Kira and Nadja were currently undergoing and had seen Emil and his father disappear just before the arrival of Alexi’s father.

  “Not exactly.” Alexi’s eyes sparkled. “Your father would spend this time explaining a few things to you that you will need to know to make your life with your new mate happy.”

  “My father and I had that talk when I was thirteen,” Evan said as he pulled off the boots he was now thankful he had chosen that morning when he could not even have imagined the turn this day would take. The sneakers would definitely not have been good. He slid the jeans over his hips and stepped out of them. He was folding them and shoving them into the now empty bag when Alexi spoke. Still slightly damp, he found himself a bit chilled standing in just his briefs.

  “What I, as his stand-in, need to explain to you is something that your father could never have explained. He would not have understood and if this were your world, he would never have had to explain it.” Alexi looked at him over his shoulder as he continued to lay the garments on the bed. “Everything, Evan. No gadje clothes tonight.”

  Evan slipped off the last garment and as much from discomfort with being nude before Alexi as from curiosity he picked up the black pants and was holding them to his waist to judge the fit. He looked up at his future brother-in-law and saw the seriousness on his face. “Go on, Alexi.” What was it that he felt he needed to know? He stepped into the pants and pulled them up. The waist fit well, the cloth had more give than his jeans and the legs were fuller until just below the knee, where the leg narrowed. He sat down and pulled his boots back on, wishing they were black. Alexi startled him by kneeling and pulling several colored clothes from the pile on the bed.

  “Evan, have you and Kira discussed what happens between our kind when we… Well, when we mate?” Alexi was wrapping the strips of fabric around his lower legs just above his boots and tying them so that short ends hung down the side. Three different colored scarves were wrapped on the leg and tied off creating a slight ballooning of the pants just below the knee.

  Evan spared the briefest of thoughts on the effect Alexi was creating and worried it was going to look a bit ridiculous. But Alexi’s line of questioning occupied him. “Yes, she has explained that among our own we mate for life, Alexi. I do understand.”

  Alexi was wrapping the other leg and looked up at Evan. “Has she explained what she knows, which isn’t everything, about why that is?”

  “No. She said something about bonding in ways even she didn’t understand but that’s it.” Concern was pulling his brow tight. He’d had about all the great secrets and revelations he could handle. “What are you trying to get at, Alexi?”

  Alexi had finished and was standing. “It is very hard to explain, Evan. There are no words for what will happen to you tonight. I don’t mean the celebration or the ceremony. I mean later,” he finished pointedly.

  Slight heat filled his face. No matter how comfortable he felt with Alexi, this was a topic he was certain he would never be comfortable discussing with anyone except Kira. “You obviously have something you want to tell me. I’ll try to understand,” he finished wryly.

  Alexi handed Evan the shirt. The cotton fabric was very white and trimmed at the cuffs and collarless neck, which opened low on his chest, with embroidered patterns of red and gold. Both openings fastened with ties. Evan stood and pulled on the shirt. He tucked it into the waistband and was tying off the neck when Alexi spoke again. “Evan, we mate for life because we bond in a way that, well that is almost beyond description. You will be closer to Kira than you have ever been or will ever be to anyone. Think for a moment of the person who knows you best. Think of the person who always seems to know what you are thinking or feeling? Can you think of such a person?”

  As Evan watched Alexi reach for his hand and begin to tie off the laces at the cuffs, his memory pulled up a sweet round face crowned with blonde hair and blue eyes very different from Kira’s. These eyes had looked like the summer’s sky when it churned and raged before a storm.

  “Yes, I can. There was someone who knew me like no one ever will or ever has. She was my master’s daughter and we grew up together. She always said we shared a part of our souls. She was right. She was the voice in my head, Alexi and she still is at times. She keeps me from taking myself too seriously, keeps me focused on the possibilities of life rather than its burdens.” Evan wondered what she would have made of all this. What would Cassandra Ryder have made of Kira?

  Alexi stayed silent and allowed Evan his memory. Whoever she was, she had been very important to his little friend. He wondered if Kira knew about this. After a moment, Evan looked at him again. “Cassie was the world to me. She was sweetness and goodness personified. I’d never believed anyone could accept me for who I was until I met her. She died almost twelve years ago. I thought I’d die from the pain, from losing that part of myself she carried.”

  “But you survive,” Alexi said simply.

  “Yes, I survive and I know now that I carry a piece of her with me.”

  Alexi smiled, this would perhaps not be so strange for Evan. Maybe he had had a taste of what was to come. “Evan, the bonding that takes place for us is a bit as you have described. I can’t really find the words to make you understand but imagine the strongest this connection you felt with this person ever was and then multiply it by a hundred, a thousand.” Alexi trailed off.

  “I think I understand, Alexi.” He paused and then continued. “I want you to know something. I know I’ve just mentioned another woman as I stand here readying for a marriage to your sister. But I want you to know that at this moment in my life there is no one I would rather be sharing this with than her. I loved my friend and there was a time when I wanted more with her than that. But what I feel for Kira is so very different. So much more. You tell me it will be a hundred times, a thousand times, more than what I’ve known and I tell you, Alexi, that it already is.”

  Alexi smiled at him and pulled the last piece of cloth from the stack. It was a bright red and gold scarf with gold coins hanging from the edges. He folded this into a triangle and stepped toward Evan. “I have no qualms about your devotion to Kira, Evan. I welcome this for her sake, for your sake and for the sake of all of us. You will make her happy. Of that I have no doubt. Today you join us as family. Someday soon you will truly join us.” Alexi wrapped the scarf around Evan’s waist so that the pointed edge hung down over his left hip.

  Evan’s head jerked up to look at the brown eyes. “Alexi… If you mean… I have no intention…” He was interrupted by a knock on the door.

  “Come on you two. The fires are ready, the music is ready and the women are ready. We are waiting on you.” The laughing voice of the Alpha floated through the open window.

  “We are almost ready,” Alexi called back. Turning to Evan, he spoke again. “I have one more thing I need to make sure you know, Evan. This bond changes things for you and for Kira. When you say that you will join your lives together, I hope you mean it because that’s what will happen. You and Kira will have one life. You will mate for life, Evan. When that life is lost or taken from you it will be taken from you both.”

  He turned to walk to the door. Evan’s hand shot out and grabbed him. “Wait, what are you saying? That our lives will be literally joined, physically connected?”

  “Yes and no. The connection is not physical but understand Evan, when you die Kira will die. The hardest part of my Father’s standing and watching your maste
r kill his father, was knowing it would also kill his mother.”

  Alexi walked to the door and stood with his hand on the handle. “Evan?” The stricken look on the younger man’s face frightened him. “Evan, what is it?”

  Numb realization was sweeping over him. When he died Kira would die. “Does she know this? Does she realize this?” He choked out the words and knew the answer before it came.

  “Of course she does. It’s part of who we are, Evan.” Alexi could not fathom what had the other man so suddenly distressed. “This is how it is with all of us. Mother and Father, Elena and Marcel, and Sonya and I. It is how it will be for you and Kira.”

  How did any of them live knowing that their actions could cause the death of their mate? Why would she have chosen him, knowing this? And she knew what she was choosing. When he died Kira would die. Her life that should stretch for centuries would come to an end when his ended. She knew this. She also knew he would not transition and yet she still accepted him. Evan wasn’t sure if what filled his heart to the point of explosion at that moment was an indescribable joy that she loved him so very much, an indescribable horror that by accepting him she was cutting to a tenth the life she should have, or a combination of the two feelings.

  “Come now, Evan. She’s chosen you and you are keeping her waiting.” Alexi opened the door. Almost unseeingly, Evan stepped to the door trying to assimilate this new burden.

  Alexi’s gut twinged and he was suddenly uncertain. “Evan. Talk to me. Tell me, what this is?”

  “How do you bear this, Alexi?” he blurted out. “How do you live from day to day knowing that one careless misstep and you not only could end your life but Sonya’s?”

  “We live because we must live. Not to do so is to die.”

  “But for me the future is uncertain. Alexi, if things go badly the situation could erupt in all-out war. People could die. I could die in what is to come. How do I risk this?” Evan’s voice pleaded with Alexi to give him an answer he could cling to. He wanted this. There was nothing he wanted more than his Kira. But to risk her…

  “Evan!” Alexi said sharply, his barking tone jerked Evan back to his senses. “Don’t be stupid. We cannot live our lives worrying about dying. Kira knows what you are facing. You told us all. She could just as easily be killed. You know she will not sit quietly and let you fight this battle of yours alone. She loves you and your fight is now her fight. That is who she is. She risked herself for Elena. She will risk herself for you even if you were to walk away from her at this moment. Stop thinking like a damn mage and listen to yourself. Listen to who you are inside. Listen to the wolf in you.”

  Alexi stood silently for a full minute blocking Evan’s exit, his words sinking in. This was part of who he was. He watched Alexi’s eyes, in a way drawing strength from them. If you were what they are, he thought, the only answer is to accept this and move on. If you are what they are…what I am.

  “Will you let your fears—your unreasoned fears about ending her life—destroy both your lives before you have a chance to live them?” Alexi’s words were spoken quietly. “You don’t have to like that it is this way, Evan. You only have to understand it can’t be any other way. The alternative is to live your life without her and to force her to be without you.” Panic was creeping into Alexi’s voice. “Evan, she’s happy. Will you take away what chance she has for happiness? What chance you have for happiness? Can you tell me you would be content without her? Will you send her back to her loneliness? Will you send her back to her certainty that life will never be anything but emptiness and loneliness? Will you send yourself back?”

  “No!” his voice came out almost a strangled cry. He couldn’t go back to that life. He couldn’t go back to watching Sethlin and Arianna play happy family while he sat alone, the pathetic little friend to be invited to dinners and holidays because he had nowhere else to go. He couldn’t go back to watching Marcus move casually from girl to girl while he stood alone never to have even the simplest relationship. He couldn’t go back now that he knew it could be different. Now that he knew there was a way and a world in which it didn’t have to be like that. Where he could have what he’d always wanted. Where he could have someone to whom he belonged, someplace he belonged. Now that there existed a world that he could share with her, with Kira.

  Alexi saw the easing of tension in the young man’s shoulders as he relaxed visibly. “Come on, Evan. Your cerieshe is waiting.”

  Evan missed the word that did not translate as he drew in a deep breath and nodded. This was her choice as much as his and she had made it knowing what she faced. He knew he wouldn’t have walked away from her out of fear that her death would end his life. Hell, he wasn’t walking away from her despite that truth. The depth of her feelings for him left him shaken as each new layer was uncovered. So quickly and so deeply it seemed her feelings had grown. He wondered if his love for her was as deep. It felt as if it was but he wasn’t the one being asked to surrender anything. She was giving up the largest part of her life. She was risking herself for his fight.

  Alexi led him to stand before the fire that was now blazing in the clearing. He looked over and saw Emil dressed almost identically to him but with green stitching on his shirt. The young man didn’t look ridiculous in his clothing. He only hoped he looked as acceptable. Alexi stood behind Evan, just as Emil’s father stood behind him. The man Elena had identified as her husband now stood—presumably upon a wooden leg as he wore trousers that covered it—next to Gregoravitch. The musicians were playing a light but somehow serious and slow tune that repeated itself.

  “Don’t speak,” Alexi whispered softly to him. “Don’t speak unless you are asked a direct question. If you aren’t sure what to do, watch Emil.”

  Evan didn’t know how he could have spoken just then. As if timed, the doors to two wagons opened and out stepped two very different women. One was young, one old. They both turned and lifted their hands to the darkened recesses of the wagons. A hand grasped the young hand first. As it emerged from the darkness a white scarf was visible tied to the wrist. From the shadows emerged Nadja. She was beautiful but Evan found he could not see her as he watched with beating heart as a fair, slender hand reached for the wrinkled and spotted hand. As Elena pulled her from the shadows, the white scarf tied to the wrist came into view followed by a long, pale arm. Then, his heart leaping in his chest, all else faded away from him as he watched as Kira stepped from the shadows.

  Her clothing was simple. A white skirt trimmed with dark blue embroidery flared out from her hips. A white blouse with full sleeves and a neckline tightly laced to just below the hollow of her neck and decorated with the matching needlework was tucked into the skirt. On her hips hung the blue green scarf that had been on the wine bottle. The gold necklace hung low on her chest. Her chestnut hair was tucked back in two rows on either side of her head and braided, pulling her hair back from her face and exposing her ears and neck. Where the other girl had worn large gold hoops, Kira’s ears were decorated with chandelier earrings in the deep blue of sapphires.

  As she cleared the steps of the wagon, Kira looked up searching for him. Her pulse paused then seemed to jump ahead several beats as she saw him standing there. The heat from the fire was coloring his cheeks and his eyes were half hidden by that amazingly endearing tendency of his to look up at her from the wayward lock of golden brown hair that was apt to fall in his eyes. The white shirt pulled tight across his chest while the black pants and red and gold cloth emphasized his narrow waist and hips. He was tall. Very tall and his lithe, lissome body with its long limbs seemed to barely contain the obvious graceful strength. His face was well cut and softened by a perpetually winsome quality that tugged at her heart. Her hands ached to touch his face and to wipe away any remnants of doubt or sadness that remained in him. She wanted him to be proud of who and what he was. She wanted to see him in his wolf state. He would be beautiful.

  He watched her light step as she moved closer to him. Elena held her ha
nd letting the white silk drop from the wrist. When they finally stood, standing close enough he could have touched her and he desperately wanted to, the melody began again, this time with only the violin calling out the same repeated bars. It swept over him and myth or not, it did pull at him.

  Elena smiled brightly at him and mirroring the actions of Nadja’s sister, lifted the end of the scarf that hung from the delicate wrist and handed it to him, indicating with a nod, he was to take it in his left hand. She stepped back and seemed to wait. Kira turned to her left, placing her right side to him. She was watching him and waiting. He wasn’t sure what to do and looked over at Emil. Emil had taken the scarf at Nadja’s wrist and turned so that they faced away from each other. Fortunately, copying this motion let him look directly at the other couple.

  He watched with sudden discomfiture as Emil and Nadja began to dance. They slowly circled one another. He turned to look at Kira and saw her smile and nod at him. She grasped the white strip of cloth in her hand and lifted her hand bit by bit above her head giving him time to follow. He lifted his end and slowly, in cautious steps, began to move. He stepped first in a circle around Kira as she followed him, turning to keep her eyes on his. Then he stood still as she circled him. Emil as his guide, they repeated this three times. Kira then stepped into him and waited. He watched as the steps of the young man across from him grew more intricate. He breathed deeply and felt the pull of the violin, which continued to repeat its refrain. He began to move more quickly, both of them moving in a circle now, stopping halfway to reverse directions.

  Kira stepped in and slipped under his outstretched arm. She held hers higher and he ducked under it as well. The music was magic, these people may not have realized it but the music and dancing were weaving a definite spell around them. It crackled about their bodies. He felt no embarrassment or shyness at this display, one he was aware was being watched by a large crowd of strangers, new friends and new enemies. He caught sight of Nico standing at the edge of the gathering, scowling miserably.