by Zack Zombie
Table of Contents
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Sunday Later that Day…
Monday
Tuesday
Tuesday Later that Day…
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Saturday Afternoon
Sunday
Sunday Later that Day
Monday
Monday Later that Day…
Tuesday
Friday
Find out what happens next!
Copyright © 2015 Zack Zombie Publishing LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This unofficial novel is an original work of fan fiction which is not sanctioned nor approved by the makers of Minecraft. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang Synergies AB, and its respective owners, which do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse this book. All characters, names, places, and other aspects of the game described herein are trademarked and owned by their respective owners. Minecraft ®/TM & © 2009-2016 Mojang.
Tuesday
“ZACKARY JULIUS ZOMBIE! YOU GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!”
Oh, boy, what did I do now?
“Look at this!”
“Look at what?”
“Look at these dishes! You were supposed to do your chores hours ago!”
All I kept hearing from my mom’s mouth was BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
“So, what’s the big deal?”
“Humph! Zackary Julius Zombie, don’t you give me lip, young man!”
“But Zombies don’t have lips.”
“Don’t you get smart with me!”
“Duh, otay, I’ll just act reel dum,” I said.
Bad move.
“I have a mind to ground you and take away all your video games for a month if you don’t start doing these dishes right now!”
“I don’t care. Chores are stupid!”
“WHA. . .? You take that back right now or you’re grounded for the rest of your life! No video games, no sleepovers, and NO CAKE!”
Oh, man! She pulled out the heavy guns.
Not fair.
Now, what am I gonna do? I mean, I can’t live without videogames, I can’t live without my friends and I definitely can’t live without cake!
But I can’t give in. Every kid in Minecraft World is counting on me.
I can’t let my mom win or every kid in the Minecraft World will be forever enslaved to the whims of their parent overlords.
But, I just kept hearing those fatal words echoing in my big skull. . .
“NO-NO-NO-NO-NO. . .CAKE-CAKE-CAKE-CAKE-CAKE!”
I’m sorry, brothers. . .I just don’t have the strength to sacrifice it all for the sake of the cause.
Wow, Zombie life is so cruel. . .
“All right, Mom. I take it back. . .”
“And the dishes?”
“I’ll do them later. . .”
“No, you need to dirty these dishes right now or no video games and no cake,” she said.
Man, she’s hardcore.
“Okay, Mom, I’ll dirty the dishes.”
HHAACCKK! SPLAT, HHAACCKK! SPLAT, HHAACCKK! SPLAT!
“Dishes done.”
“Wait a minute, you missed a spot.”
UUURRRGGHH!
HHAACCKK! SPLAT!
“All right, can I go now?!!”
“See, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”
UUURRRGGHH. . .
“Now, don’t you want a little piece of cake?” she said with her triumphant, smug smile.
What can I say. . .I’m weak.
So much for standing up for the oppressed kids of the world.
Please don’t judge me.
CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP. . . Shame. . . CHOMP.
Wednesday
“Zombie.”
Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack. . .
“Zombie.”
Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack. . .
“Zombie!”
Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack. . .
“ZOMBIE!”
Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack. . .
YANK! ZZZTT!
“Hey! What’d you that for?!!! I was having the perfect game?!”
“Zombie, why didn’t you bring in the garbage?”
“THE GARBAGE?!! DAD! You stopped my perfect game for that?!!”
“Zombie, you promised to bring in the garbage,” my dad said.
I don’t know where parents get their information. But, somehow, they’re all convinced that we kids signed a contract somewhere saying that we were going to actually do chores around the house.
“No, I didn’t! I never said I would bring in the garbage.”
“Zombie, you said if I gave you five more minutes you would finish your game and bring in the garbage. That was thirty minutes ago.”
“I never said that.”
Or if I did say it, I definitely didn’t mean it.
“Well, bring in the garbage.”
“You’re the worst!”
“Zombie, don’t mouth off and do as you’re told!”
I looked down to see if I dropped my mouth again. It happens sometimes you know. . .it’s a Zombie thing.
“Zombie, stop trying to be smart.”
“Duh, otay, I’ll just be reel dum,” I said.
Bad move.
“THAT’S IT! You’re grounded for a month! No video games, no sleepovers and no CAKE!”
UURRRGGHHH! They got me again!
Man, as long as my parents control my triad of excitement, I have to obey their every whim.
I’ve got to find a way to break these bonds of slavery and get my freedom.
But what can I do? They control all the valuable resources.
Plus, I wouldn’t even know how to make my own cake.
But, if I could get control of all the resources, I thought, I could rise and help all the children in Minecraft World to overthrow their Parental Masters and reek our revenge on parents all over the world. . . MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
“You know I can hear you, right?”
What the what?!!
That’s the problem with having holes in your head.
Look out garbage, here I come.
Thursday
“ZOMBIE, DID YOU FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK?” my mom yelled from downstairs.
But for some reason all I heard was, “Zombie, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!”
I didn’t have time for distractions anyway because I was about to get to the boss level on my favorite game—Zombie’s Duty, Black Ops 3—Human Edition.
Yeah, I know. Blasting humans is not the nicest thing to do. Especially for six hours straight. And it will pro
bably lead to increased aggressive behavior, low attention span and anti-social tendencies. . .
But, it’s still awesome!
Take that, you human meatbags! URRRGGHH!
“ZOMBIE! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!” my mom yelled again.
There she goes again! Man, can’t she see that I’m saving the world from the human plague that is threatening all Zombiedom!
Take that! URRRRGGHH!
YES! I FINALLY MADE IT! I’M AT THE BOSS ROUND! SO, I CAN’T MESS THIS UP. . .
Suddenly, my mom burst into the room.
“ZOMBIE, don’t ignore me! I asked you if you finished your homework?!!”
Again, all I heard was, “ZOMBIE, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!”
“No, Mom. I’m not hungry right now, thanks anyway. . .take that, you human meat puppet! URRRRGGHH!”
“Zombie, I warned you. . .”
YANK! ZZZTT!
“WHAT THE WHAT?!!!”
“NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Then, all I could see was my mom standing there holding the power cord to my game console.
It felt more like she just tore out my heart and was holding it in Mortal Kombat triumph.
All I could hear was, “FINISH HIM!”
“Zombie, I’m sorry I had to disconnect your video game, but I need to know if you’ve finished your homework and. . .”
“WWWWWWWWAAAAHHHHH!!!!!”
“Zombie, it’s just a video game. Stop crying and answer my question.”
“But, Mom, whose gonna save the Zombie race from the human infestation that has descended upon it? WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
“Zombie, stop that right now! If you don’t finish your homework by the time I get back, you’re not getting this back.” Then, she tore out the rest of my console along with all my important organs that were connected to it.
And as she walked out the door, I slowly saw my thirteen-year-old life flash before my eyes. Then, everything went black.
Thirty minutes later. . .
“Zombie, get your head out of the trash can and start doing your homework,” the prison guard said.
This was my life now. I was on year thirteen of an eighteen-year prison sentence. Every move I made was under constant surveillance. And I could only get privileges if I completed my hard labor.
And if I didn’t listen, I got thrown in the hole. . .solitary confinement with no video games, no friends and no cake.
I don’t know if I’m gonna make it.
It’s either gonna do me in or I need to. . .I need to. . .
That’s it! I need to escape!
No one that has tried to escape this parental death trap has ever been seen again.
But I need to succeed where my brothers in arms have failed.
I had to make a Prison Break!
Friday
That’s it. Today’s the day.
Today is the day I’m going to escape my parents’ iron grip and taste the sweet flavor of freedom.
Today is the day I’m running away.
I was thinking where I should go, and I thought the best place would be to run away to the jungle biome and live with the animals.
I saw a movie about a Zombie that was raised by gorillas once. He looked pretty cool in his one-piece Ocelot skinned outfit. Especially when he would swing from tree to tree yelling at the top of his lungs.
“UUURRRGGHHUUURRRGGGHHHUUURRRGGHHH!”
He lived in a hut in a tree all by himself, and his animal friends.
That just sounded so cool, I had to do it.
I started thinking about all my friends and how much I would miss them.
But, I couldn’t let that stop me. I had to take a stand for all the Minecraft Kids and the oppression they faced.
And I knew once I had trained all the animals to follow my psychic commands, I would come back with my animal army and rescue all the kids in Minecraft.
At least that’s how the Zombie in the movie did it.
I couldn’t bring much, but I took everything I would need to survive in the jungle.
I snuck my video game console from my mom’s favorite hiding place.
Yes,’ I thought. I can finally save the Zombie race from the Human pestilence!
And, don’t worry, I’m not dumb. I made sure to remember to bring all the power cords for my video game console.
I took my dad’s cell phone to stay in touch with Steve and the guys, and I took my mom’s recipe for cake. Yeah, I ate the last piece of cake last night so I had to figure out how to make it from scratch.
But that’s okay. I’m resourceful.
And if Zarzan, Lord of the Jungle Biome could do it, so can I.
Sweet Freedom, here I come!
“UUUURRRGGHHUUURRRGGGHHUUURRRGGHHH!”
Saturday
So. . . I’m back home today.
Yeah, things didn’t turn out like I expected.
Well, the closest Jungle was the Jungle biome amusement park which was a few miles away from my house.
I thought it would be the perfect place.
But the security guards didn’t think so.
Took me a few hours, but I finally lost them.
And I found the best tree to build my hut.
I tried to get a bunch of tree branches to build it, but I couldn’t find any good ones.
So, finally, I tried to punch a tree like Steve does.
Now I realize why Zombies don’t punch trees.
After that, it was really hard building my tree hut with only one arm.
But it was okay, I thought, I’ll just use my psychic powers and get some gorillas to do all the work.
So, I found a few gorillas in a cage at the amusement park and stared at them for a few minutes to make sure they got my instructions.
Then I opened the cage and nodded at them in agreement.
I don’t remember much after that. . .
But boy it was really hard finding my legs.
I tried to take my mind away from things, so I pulled out my video game console to finish my Zombie’s Duty, Black Ops 3—Boss fight.
Yeah, that didn’t go well.
Then I thought I would call Steve and the guys to let them know how I was doing.
But, for some reason the phone wouldn’t turn on.
I don’t get it. My dad used it all day yesterday. Why wasn’t it working now?
And I really, really needed it.
Especially when the sun came up.
Ouch. . .
So here I am, back home again.
And the school principal called my house and told my mom and dad that I skipped school.
So not only am I in extreme pain. . .
But, I got no video games. . .
I got no friends. . .
And I got no cake.
Man, Zombie kid life is cruel.
Sunday
Today, I went to see Steve.
I was thinking maybe he could help me escape the Parent Trap.
Steve’s got it good, you know.
You see, he doesn’t have parents.
He said that some Villagers found him in the Forest Biome when he was a little kid.
So growing up, Steve didn’t really have anybody to tell him what to do, and where to go, and what to eat, and how to dress, and to do his homework, and to stop playing video games, and when to go to bed, and how to behave, and to do chores, and to stop watching so much TV, and to go to school, and. . .
Wow. . .Steve’s got it really good.
Even though Steve is a little weird.
Like when he punches trees. . .
Or when he eats raw pork chops. . .
Or like wh
en he only uses one hand to do everything.
And then he shakes people’s hand. . . with the same hand.
So nasty.
But man, he’s got the life.
I mean, I can only imagine what life would be like without my parents. I would be free to do whatever I want.
I can play video games 24/7.
I can eat cake all day.
I wouldn’t have to go to school and never ever have to do homework.
I can dress whatever way I want. . . no more turquoise shirts and blue pants, yeah!
I can hang out with my friends every day, even on a school night.
I can even brush my teeth and take a bath once in a while. . .
Wow, that would be the life.
But who am I kidding?
I’m gonna be under my parents’ iron grip forever, and there’s no way out.
I might as well get used to wearing an orange jumpsuit. . .
With blue pants, of course.
I found Steve, and he was at his new house right outside the Human Village.
He just finished building his new house because a gang of Street Kids blew up his old house a few days ago.
Yeah, some Street Kids recently started causing all kinds of trouble around the neighborhood when the orphanage up the hill closed.
My mom said that the orphan kids cause a lot of trouble because they don’t have any place to go. She said they’re really lonely, so they take their frustration out on society.
She even said that if they had good role models, it would help them learn to be respectable and responsible adults.
PFFFTT! Yeah, dumb, I know.
I don’t know how rolling is going to help them be more respectable and responsible.
“Yo, Steve, wassup?”
“Nothin’, wassup with you?