Contents
Acknowledgments
Dedication
Disclaimer
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Biography - Paul C Middleton
bibliography
Biography - Lee Hayton
Bibliography
Phoenix Prime
Acknowledgements
To those who supported me, all of you from 20 books.
But Especially to
Editorial Team: Bree Burrs, Diane Velasquez, Dorene Johnson,
This Book would literally be less than half as good without you.
Your support and commentary to an author cannot be more appreciated
Technical Thing: Kat Lind and her team (and the SCARE program)
And apologies to anyone I have forgotten.
You have my email or facebook, tell me if I missed you and I'll add you for the next edition.
Dedication -Paul Middleton
To Mrs Motherwell, my English and Drama teacher.
You taught me that the quality in a person was in the actions they performed
Not the language they used.
Until I met an actual soldier, I thought you swore like one!
***
Dedication- Lee Hayton
With eternal thanks to Kat Lind, the SIL Creative team, the Double-Ds,
and our fellow boot-campers at Phoenix Prime.
Rise up from the ashes, people.
Disclaimer
This book is an Urban Fantasy novel, set in a world like ours in many ways, but very different in many others.
This book is a work of fiction, all the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Similarities to current events can be considered 'timey wimey wibbly wobbly'
Any references or portrayals of religion are not intended to provoke offense, but rather provoke thought.
If there is a God or any Gods they obviously intended us to think - look at the Yapok and the Platypus.
Copyright (c) 2016 Paul C. Middleton
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.
Prologue
"What the fuck are you calling me for, Inspector Walsh? Aren't I doing enough cleanup of the mess you allowed to fester by not expelling the Reformationists years ago when they declared war on the Imps?" Thal growled angrily into the phone.
"I thought you agreed that was all water under the bridge, Mongrel." Inspector Walsh answered civilly into the phone. "Besides this relates to your current duties. We have negotiated with the Nga Tari O Tipua to have the Reformationists kicked out of New Zealand."
Thal simply grunted. "And you can't send someone else? They couldn't check themselves?"
Inspector Walsh said "They asked for you not just for this. They also need someone to sort out a problem they have. One of the senior detectives stumbled across a supernatural incident. Worse, she's going through an awakening. Into something they haven't encountered in their Christchurch office. They need you to give her some guidance, and to hunt down the supernaturals that caused the original problem."
"Why is it always me?" Thaliaus Jardine asked to no-one in particular, his irritation clear.
The Inspector chose to answer in a calm, measured tone. "Because you have a mishmash of abilities that makes you perfect for a very confusing situation."
"Fine, but after I get back, I'm on leave. You can find someone else to sort out who is Reformationist or not in the western division's area of operations. I'd better find a flight. Oh, and if I find a fucker in the church hierarchy, then everyone that needs to be searched is coming to Christchurch. Under guard."
"Fine, I'll tell them your conditions. Text me the details of your flight when you get them, they'll have someone meet you" Inspector Walsh said, slightly annoyed by Jardine's demands, before hanging up.
The Mongrel groaned, then shook off his irritation. He started packing. If he wanted to make a flight in the next twelve hours he'd need to get moving. At least he shouldn't have too much of an issue at the Christchurch airport. They had someone meeting him after all.
* * *
After he landed he'd been held up in customs, much to his irritation. Apparently, Nga Tari O Tipua hadn't told their person to meet him at customs. He felt a flash of anger at how they'd stuffed up meeting him at customs. It was always the newbie that was sent to pick up 'Guests'. Fortunately, one of the customs agents recognized the tattoo and waved him through quickly. She'd been there the time the Mongrel had dealt with a group of pixies who had thought swapping the luggage inside peoples' cases would be fun. He'd had to teach the local Nga Tari O Tipua how to ward against the damn things. They could be so irritating with their ability to manipulate space and placement.
Thal noted her name. Fiona O'Leary. Sure, she was a normal, but she had initiative and common sense. Any department that dealt with the supernatural was always short of people like that. Supernaturals tended to be lacking in common sense. It didn't often bite them in the arse, that lack. They simply didn't face the same problems that normals did. He might be able to poach her for the SSC, if not the local Offices of Weird could use someone like her. It was a shame she wasn't his contact.
The Mongrel moved on to the arrivals area.
Finally, he spotted his contact, sitting in the special reception area, obviously uncomfortable in the summer heat. She was fidgeting in her discomfort.
"Thalius Jardine?" the woman he'd spotted in the arrivals area asked in a wary tone.
"Call me Thal or call me Jardine," he muttered gruffly, stirring up images in her head of prowling bears. His irritation at his full name clear for anyone with common sense to see, if the didn't have something on their mind.
He heard a faint harmonica tuning go on as she spoke and cursed in surprise. A gods be damned bard. It was fortunate there weren't many true Fae in New Zealand. The local supernaturals tended to dislike them, and discouraged their immigration. He'd have to get her up to speed though, or she could find herself making a deal with them, learning how to be a fantastic bard, then appear back on earth 100 years after they'd left. Looking identical in age. It was one of the biggest pains to cover up.
"Rather not call you anything" Thal heard muttered behind him. Well, at least she seemed to have some common sense. After all, it wasn't a brilliant idea to be working alongside the Mongrel. Too many who did got chewed up, then spat out by the problems he dealt with. It was why he preferred to work alone.
Chapter 1
I barely managed to beat the thuggish 'consultant' to the car. I still wasn't sure how he knew exactly which car to go to. On my way back to the Nga Tari O Tipua offices my curiosity eventually got the better of me. After all, it wasn't like I'd used this vehicle often. Nor was it marked in any way that I could see.
"How on earth did you know which car was the one we would be taking?" I asked him.
"My grandpa was a WereThylacine. Got a better than usual sense of smell. Got a few unusual talents. Accepted as more than just an outsider by most of the supernatural communities. Got a problem that started in Australia I gotta sort out before we get onto your dea
l. That should be sorted out by the end of the day, hopefully."
I got the feeling I really didn't want to know what he was talking about, but the off tune violin in my head told me I'd be finding out. It was as if the music I'd been hearing on and off throughout my life was suddenly translatable. That could be both good and bad.
"So you were sent here to what? Find the WereEagle? He could have traveled anywhere over the last couple of days. Hell, he could have hopped a boat and gone to the South Island by now. It's not like there are immigration controls between the two." I said. then I muttered under my breath, "although there damn well should be." I flushed as I noticed him twitch. I thought I'd said that last bit too softly to be heard, even by someone as close to me as he was. Evidently I'd been wrong.
"There's more out there than you realize, love..." he started. I interrupted him.
"It's Lou, short for Louise." I snapped at him.
He grinned at me and said "No, short for Luscious. I was given your file before I was sent over here. But if it's Lou you want, I can go with that. As long as you never use Thaliaus ever, ever again. You're not the only one who hates name their parents gave them."
"As I was saying, Lou, there's more out there that you can really imagine. Sometimes I have difficulty with some things I find in my work. Imagine if parts are least of every mythology are true. Now imagine there are things out there that weirder than even what is described in mythology." He paused as I pulled into the driveway and parked the car around the back of the Nga Tari O Tipua offices.
When I went to leave the car before he could finish his lecture, he grabbed my arm and glared at me. "You need to finish hearing this, Lou. You may be through your awakening, but that just puts you in a more dangerous position. You're old enough that simply accepting the supernatural is real isn't really an option for you any more."
"So, what, a form of every mythological creature in any myth from around the world exists?"
"Excepting the Gods, yup. And the Gods probably exist, but they haven't contacted Earth for one hell of a long time. Left us all to our own devices. Probably better that way, we don't need the kind of trouble that level of power could cause. That brings me to my first problem to deal with in your wonderful country." The sarcasm dripping from his voice when he said wonderful country was artistic. It was clear he didn't like being sent to New Zealand, far more than I'd didn't like picking up at the airport. "A group of religious fanatics decided it was open season on all supernaturals recently in Australia. Nga Tari O Tipua has asked me to search out the in the know people amongst the churches and church hunters in New Zealand. Fucking Reformationists believe 90+ percent of supernatural should be dead, and the angels should be subjugated by man. That's problem number two. Problem number one is gonna be getting you to accept what you see when we enter that doorway."
I snorted at him. I could accept that the supernatural existed, after all I'd come to the conclusion that a Were Eagle was responsible for the entire mess my last case had become. After all the weirdness I'd experienced over the last couple of days, that was finally beginning to settle down, I felt ready to accept anything.
He shrugged and eloquently, with his hand, indicated I was to enter the building first. I noticed he was scribbling something quickly down on a piece of paper, but didn't think anything of it.
I walked into the offices and was confronted by a tall man in and MIB style suit. He'd blend right well, I thought sarcastically. Then I looked closer at his hands. They were covered in fur, and tipped in long, sharp, claws. Tickling at the back of my mind I suddenly realized how clever the suit was. People would be looking at such out of place attire so incredulously that they wouldn't even notice the hairy hands and sharp claws. Thal entered behind me and bowed to the creature.
Whispering in my ear he said, "The Doorman is a Maero. Kinda like New Zealand's form of Bigfoot. A little touchier, nowhere near as timid. Get used to him or he will pick you up and throw you against the wall. He will give you about a week."
I blinked at that information, then slowly turned and bowed to the creature in respect and apology.
"Is okay, for now, music girl. Sudden break, sudden entrance, all shock. We give you a little leeway."
I saw a small, very lithe girl with butterfly wings. A man with three arms, one stretching out from the centre his chest. He was sorting paperwork A woman who smelt of the sea, despite looking like a relatively normal Maori girl. And I don't mean she smelt like she'd been to the sea recently, I mean she smelt as if I was standing next to the sea. As I stared at her she smiled and I felt washed away by the dazzling nature of her face. I heard a whisper in my ear "-is a Ngarara. Damn, forgot." Then there was a sharp ringing in my ears as something struck one of them. I shook myself and glared at Thal.
"Had to break her spell. Physical beauty can entrance a Bard. Why they so often get taken by the greater Fay. Nicole over there is a Ngarara, as I said. A Mermaid with some divine blood. You need to learn to close yourself off better."
"Isn't teaching me your job?" I snapped at him. He shrugged and said "Sort of. Depends on what sort of a deal I can make. Already dealing with two other problems, after all. Besides, teaching a Bard is not an easy thing to do. Especially one that hasn't really accepted what they are yet."
I almost snapped at him again, but realized it was a reaction to suddenly having this new world thrust upon me. It wasn't his fault I felt adrift at sea. Then I saw the Elder who had sent me to the airport. Thal sauntered up to her, showing meagre if any respect, and said in a growl "Hello Dr. Huakoi. How's that sheepfucker of a husband of yours doing?" I waited for the office to charge him en-mass. I heard a few discordant twangs that I realized must have come from individual emotions around me, and then the cheerful and cheeky music thrown off from between the two. There was obviously some respect on both sides. I just did not see how someone as thuggish as Thal looked could get away with open disrespect to a Maori elder, no matter how powerful he was.
I certainly wouldn't risk it.
"Lou, Get over here." Thal yelled across the room. I followed him and Dr Huakoi into the office. Once we were inside he pulled up a chair for the elder and let her settle into it before dropping into his chair. I was left standing.
"Now, the contract I agreed to was the basic for locating and punishing the Were Eagle for possibly exposing the supernatural to public scrutiny, as well as searching priests that are 'in the know' and Church sponsored hunters for Reformationist markings. It did not cover training a Bard. Not even in the basics. A Mage, sure. Possibly a Wizard or a Witch. But not a Bard. So, what you got to dicker with?"
Dr. Huakoi scowled at him, then sighed in resignation. "Aalatha is looking to..."
"Nope. She's also looking for a kid and can ensure she gets one without her partner knowing. I'm not sure if I want kids. Even if I did, though, I'd want to raise them in my house, and she's bound to the local waters." He said firmly.
It continued for some time. At least four more times sexual favors were brought up. I was confused by it all in some ways. Also upset by the fact that the Elder was taking on the role of matchmaker, or so it seemed.
Thal turned to me and sighed, "Stop scowling every time mating is offered. Unfortunately, many supes want to mate with me. I'm unique. However I don't want to inflict my childhood on any potential child. Growing from a three year old in size to a twenty year old in size over two years was not pleasant, it was torture." He shuddered at the memory "Not something I will risk inflicting on any child I can't personally care for. For that to happen Nga Tari O Tipua would have to relinquish authority over them and allow them to travel to Australia and stay there for twelve months. None of those mentioned would be willing to do that or in two cases, those bound to the land, would even be able to do that."
Dr. Huakoi snapped at him, "Why are you being so difficult? Ms Lind is Nga Tari O Tipua's responsibility."
He simply gazed at her with a look of mingled anger and disgust. What looked like terror
flashed across her face before she grudgingly answered, "Fine, A favor from myself or my heir. She's a free woman, and owes you a favor after training is complete, on top of whatever you can wrangle out of her." she muttered something under her breath. "And after a year's service, starting once you leave, she is free to find her own path. Or to continue working for us without being bound. But if she stays in New Zealand and doesn't work for us we will watch her closely, for any infractions."
Thal sighed, took a considering look, then nodded. He clearly knew he wasn't going to get a better deal. I didn't really know what had just been bargained.
He looked back up at Dr. Huakoi. "You arranged the appointment? It's the Anglican Archbishop who is senior here, right?" She nodded at him. He turned to me. "Let's get this over with. Drive me to the Anglican cathedral." I looked to Dr. Huakoi for confirmation and she nodded. With him politely holding the office door open, I led the way back out to the car.
Chapter 2
When we arrived at the Cathedral offices, the secretary tried to delay us when we requested entry into the Bishop's presence. Thal silenced him with a scowl. We walked up to the Prelate's office door and I went to knock. Thal was having none of that. He moved to the Bishop's office door and firmly swung it open. There was a meaty thud as it hit something in swing, followed by a moan of pain.
Suddenly a pistol was in Thal's face. Before I could even react, Thal had the pistol in his own hand. I was shocked to see that the man who'd shoved the gun in his face was holding in a scream of agony between clenched teeth, nursing an obviously broken arm. I sidestepped from behind Thal and entered the room.
He was looking at a man in vestments behind an opulent desk at the back of the room. Thal spoke to the man condescendingly, "Now why would you try and delay someone who has an appointment with you on orders of the police, good Bishop?" Before he continued he pointed to the two injured bodyguards, gathering them with a glance. "IDs and weapon registration, now." They both roused themselves to argue with him. He withdrew a piece of paper from his jacket that I hadn't seen Dr. Huakoi, or anyone else, hand to him. I recognized it as a warrant, it looked like a standard search warrant, although it was hard to tell with the angle he had it on.
A Mongrel, A Bard and Witches, Oh My!: A Mongrelverse Story (Face The Music Book 2) Page 1