by Andria Large
“Good.” Tucker smiles.
“Where am I? This isn’t my house!” Sherry’s frightened voice breaks through our little conversation.
We all turn in her direction. She’s looking around frantically, her hands clutching the edges of the couch cushions. Tom sits down next to her and quietly talks to her. Whatever he’s saying doesn’t seem to be working.
“Who are you people? Where are my parents?” she shouts, shoving to her feet.
“Shit,” Rhys mutters.
Tucker is staring at his mom helplessly. Tom is now on his feet too, trying to calm her. He places a hand on her shoulder, but she wrenches out of his grasp and storms toward the front door.
“You people can’t keep me here! I’m going to find my mother!”
I don’t know what comes over me, but I feel like I need to step up and do something about this slowly unraveling situation. It seems like no one knows what to do, and an idea pops into my head, so I just go with it. I meet Sherry at the door.
“Come on, Sherry, let me help you find your parents.” I hold out my elbow for her.
She looks at me for a moment before giving me a curt nod. “Thank you, Dennis.”
I’m momentarily stunned that she remembers my name, but then she slips her arm in mine, and I open the door for her. Peeking over my shoulder, I give Tucker a wink, but he’s so distraught he doesn’t even respond.
I lead Sherry down the few stairs and then the walkway. Luckily it’s a beautiful day with the sun shining and a nice breeze blowing. I start down the sidewalk with her, walking slowly so we are going at her pace. She clings to my arm with both of hers. Even though she’s relatively young, her body is deteriorating because of the Alzheimer’s, and she’s much more fragile than she should be at her age. After another couple steps, she seems much calmer.
“So tell me, Sherry, are you married?” I ask, just trying to make conversation.
“Lord, no. I’m only nineteen!” she tuts, giving me a sideways glance.
I smirk. “My apologies.”
“My mother and father got married too young. They were only seventeen and eighteen. But that was the way of the world at the time.”
“Did they stay together?”
“Yes, but it was anything but easy. They struggled, oh how they struggled. I’m one of five. So money was always an issue and an argument.”
I hum in understanding. She goes on for another five minutes about her parents. I just listen and let her talk. We come to the corner of the block, and I turn us around so we can head back for the house. Sherry peers around for a minute before looking up at me.
“You’re a good man, Dennis.”
“Thank you,” I reply. Surprised again that she still remembers my name.
I glance down at her and something in her eyes has changed. “You’re in love with my son, Tucker, aren’t you?” Apparently she’s having a moment of complete lucidity.
I blink stupidly. “I… uh….”
“It’s okay. You can tell me, sweetheart,” she says and pats my arm.
“Why do you think that I’m in love with him?” I ask cautiously.
“It’s in your eyes when you look at him,” she says softly, giving me a tender smile.
“Well, shit—I mean, shoot.” I grimace.
She chuckles.
“Will it bother you if I am?” I ask hesitantly.
“Love doesn’t recognize gender, race, or age. You can’t label love. You can’t fight love. When it happens, it just happens. It doesn’t care if society agrees with it or not. And no, it does not bother me as long as Tucker is happy. But Tom and Rhys… I’m not so sure they will be as accepting.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I remain silent. We make our way back to the house and up the walkway.
“Oh, look at this cute little house. Whose house is this?” Sherry asks.
I glance down at her and see her moment of clarity and recognition has passed. I frown. What a shame. She seems like a wonderful woman who I would have loved to get to know better. It also makes my heart break even more for Tucker now, knowing about the loving mother he’s losing.
“This is Rhys’s house,” I tell her.
“Rhys? Do I know him?” she asks.
“No, but we’re going to meet him now,” I say with a reassuring smile.
She nods. “Okay.”
TUCKER
I’M SITTING on the couch next to my dad, with my forearms resting on my knees, hands clasped, my head bowed, waiting for Dennis and my mom to return. Devastation radiates off my father, and it kills me. It kills me that there’s nothing I can do to help her. He’s at the end of the couch, his elbow resting on the arm, his fist pressed against his mouth.
“I didn’t realize how much worse she’s gotten,” I mutter. I glance over my shoulder in case my dad replies.
He removes his fist, his hollow-looking eyes meeting mine. “This is fairly new, the whole ‘freaking out when she’s not in her house’ thing.”
“Is there anything you need me to do? Do you want me to come over on the weekends to give you a break?”
“No, no, that will just confuse her. The less change in her life, the better.”
“Why did you drive down here, then?”
“I wanted to see my boys, my daughter-in-law, and my grandson all at the same time for once,” he croaks. “And even if she doesn’t remember you guys, I wanted her to see you.”
I sigh and drop my head into my hands. My poor dad. I place one hand on his knee and squeeze. I need him to know I’m here for him no matter what. He pats my hand a couple of times in reassurance and understanding.
The front door opens a moment later, and my mom and Dennis walk in. My mother is smiling and seems completely calm. Dennis’s eyes immediately lock on to mine. My heart flutters wildly at the way he’s staring at me. The affection—the love—is clear as day.
“Oh, Tom! There you are! We were looking for you!” my mom says, breaking through the connection Dennis and I were just sharing.
My dad stands and smiles softly at her. “Hi, hon.”
She goes to him and gives him a kiss on the lips.
I stand and meet Dennis. I motion with my head toward the kitchen. He nods and follows me. Rhys and Selene are sitting at the table. Rhys is nursing a beer while Selene is holding a cup of coffee with both hands. Both appear sullen. They glance up when we enter.
“How is she?” Selene asks.
“Better,” Dennis replies.
I could use a cup of coffee, so I go over to the coffeemaker and pour myself one. I’m just about to put creamer in when my shoulder is grabbed roughly from behind and I’m yanked around. I come face-to-face with my brother’s angry, blue eyes.
“I’m trying to fucking talk to you, but you can’t hear me because you won’t get your goddamn ears fixed!”
I shove him away from me. “Get off me,” I snap.
“I can’t fucking stand it! Between Mom and you….” He shoves a hand through his hair as he turns away.
He doesn’t even have to finish that sentence. I know what he’s going to say. He wants our family back the way it used to be. I understand completely. It feels like we’re falling apart. I sigh and squeeze the bridge of my nose. This is not how I wanted this trip to be. I didn’t want Dennis seeing this side of my family. I thought we were going to have a good time.
I lift my head up as Rhys turns back toward me. “I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated.”
I nod. “I understand.”
Before anything else can be said, the red lights on the monitor that’s sitting on the counter flash. Selene smiles warmly at me and stands. “I’ll get him,” she says, then walks out of the kitchen.
Dennis pats my arm. When I turn to him, he signs to me, “He’s saying Tuck.”
My heart melts as I grin from ear to ear. “What? No way!”
Dennis smiles and nods. Then he peers past me. When I turn to my brother, I only catch the last few words of what he�
��s saying.
“…you say to him?” He seems to huff in annoyance as he crosses his arms over his chest.
I quickly look back at Dennis to catch his reply.
“I told Tucker your son is asking for him,” Dennis says, his eyes holding a bit of anger toward my brother, which doesn’t surprise me. After what happened with his dad, I know his protectiveness of me has gone up.
I ping-pong back to Rhys.
“Oh,” he says with a small nod.
Selene returns a minute later with my nephew, Max. When he sees me, his whole face lights up, and he practically throws himself at me. Selene laughs as she hands him over. Max wraps his little arms around my neck and hugs me tight, laying his head on my shoulder. I hug him back, my eyes sliding closed. Damn, I’ve missed him.
It’s been a few months since I’ve seen him, and he’s grown so much in that short time. He’s almost two now, and his baby features are fading and he’s looking more like a toddler. I open my eyes to find Dennis watching me, his expression closed off. It catches me off guard because he hasn’t sported that look in weeks.
I give Dennis a questioning glance, but he subtly shakes his head at me. He turns, asks Selene something, then leaves the kitchen.
“Where’s he going?” I ask her.
“Bathroom,” she replies.
Something is going on with him, and the urge to find out what is too much to deny. Selene appears in my line of sight and gives me a knowing smirk. She takes Max from me.
“Want something to eat, Max?” she says.
I give her arm a grateful squeeze before leaving the kitchen to go find Dennis. There is only one bathroom in the house, and it’s upstairs. I pass my parents, who are sitting on the couch watching TV, and bound up the steps two at a time. The bathroom is at the top of the stairs. I lean against the wall just outside the door and cross my arms over my chest. A few minutes later, the door opens. Dennis starts when he sees me standing there.
“Jesus Christ, Tucker!” He clutches his chest.
I palm his chest and push him back into the bathroom, then shut the door behind us.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, searching his green gaze.
“Why do you think something is wrong?” he asks, eyes narrowing slightly.
I roll my eyes. “Dude, I know you too well. I can tell when something is bothering you.”
Dennis stares at me, seeming to contemplate whether to talk about whatever it is or not. He finally sighs and rubs the back of his neck.
“It’s just that when I saw you with Max… it made me realize I’m not capable of giving you kids. Plus, with my history of mental illness, I doubt I’d be able to adopt. I don’t want you staying with me if that is something you’re going to want.”
I give him an incredulous look. “Who said I even wanted kids?”
Dennis shrugs. “I assumed with the way you were with your nephew that you would eventually want some of your own.”
I shake my head. “No, I’ve never wanted to have my own kids. I like being able to give them back when they have shit-filled diapers and not be responsible for raising them.”
A slow smile creeps across Dennis’s face.
“Did you want kids?” I ask.
“With Zara, yes. Not so much now, though.”
I nod in understanding.
“So are we okay?”
Dennis pulls in a deep breath as he nods. “Yeah, we’re good.”
I smirk, reaching up to give him a peck on the lips.
“Good. Let’s go back downstairs so I can hang out with my little dude.”
Chapter Ten
DENNIS
“SO, I… uh… I’ve been thinking about getting my hearing fixed,” Tucker murmurs during a lull in conversation.
We are sitting around the dining room table, eating dinner with his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. Tom decided Sherry had had enough excitement for the day and left shortly after Max woke up from his nap. I glance over at Tucker to see him shifting uncomfortably in his chair, his eyes downcast as he pushes his food around on his plate. I guess the subject has been a touchy one for so long he’s nervous just bringing it up.
Selene, who is sitting on the other side of Tucker at their round table, lays her hand on his forearm. When Tucker glances up at her, she gives him a tender smile.
“That’s wonderful, Tucker,” she says.
Tucker nods gratefully, then looks to his brother. When I turn my attention to Rhys, he’s frowning at Tucker.
“I’ve been trying to get you to fix it for years now. Why the sudden change of heart?” he asks. Tucker can’t hear his tone, but I can, and I don’t appreciate it one bit. He’s obviously irritated, but there’s also an undercurrent of hostility to it.
“Maybe he didn’t want to be pressured into it. Maybe he needed to figure shit out on his own,” I snap.
Rhys’s eyes flick to mine, anger flaring. “I don’t remember asking you.”
“And I don’t remember it being your job to dictate how your brother lives his life.”
“Guys,” Selene interjects. “There is no need to argue.”
I open my mouth to say something else, but Tucker places his hand on my shoulder. “Dennis, don’t. This isn’t your fight.”
“Exactly,” Rhys grunts.
I clench my teeth to keep from biting his head off.
“And, Rhys, I don’t know what your problem is; I thought this would have made you happy,” Tucker says.
“I am happy. I just don’t understand why it took you so long.”
“Because you have no idea what I’ve been through in the first place. You don’t even know how it happened other than a bomb went off too close to me. You don’t know the details.”
“That’s because you refuse to talk to me about it!” Rhys shouts, slamming his fist on the table.
Tucker shakes his head and sighs. “You do not need to know about the hell I’ve endured while overseas.”
“But you talk to him about it!” Rhys spits out, pointing angrily at me.
“Rhys, please. You’re scaring Max,” Selene scolds when Max starts to whimper.
Ahhhh, I see what the problem is now. Rhys is jealous of me. Kinda like how I was jealous of Duke. Rhys probably thinks he’s lost his brother to me because Tucker spends more time with me now that we live together, and he’s forgone coming down to Philly because of me.
Tucker gives his brother an incredulous look. “That’s because he’s been there. He understands. I don’t need to worry about him being disgusted over things I’ve done and seen, because he’s done and seen the same things. He understands the nightmares and the flashbacks. I’m sorry, but you don’t, and you never will.”
Selene rubs Tucker’s forearm, her face a mask of sympathy and sorrow. She seems truly crestfallen that Tucker has to deal with things like that. His brother, on the other hand, looks even more pissed off than before. He shoves out of his seat and storms from the kitchen.
“I’m sorry, Tucker. He’s been a bit out of sorts lately because of this whole situation with your mom. He’s afraid you two are growing apart, and he doesn’t want to lose you too,” Selene says.
Tucker nods in understanding and slides his chair back. “I’ll go talk to him.”
He gives my shoulder a squeeze as he leaves the kitchen. Selene sends me a tight smile.
“Sorry for how Rhys is acting toward you, Dennis. I think he feels threatened by you.”
“Don’t worry about it. I totally understand. Have you met Tucker’s friend, Duke?”
Selene rolls her eyes. “Oh yes, we’ve met Duke.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, well, I kinda had the same reaction toward him when I first met him.”
Selene hums in understanding.
“He came and stayed with us one weekend, and I was afraid Tucker was better friends with him than with me. Duke has known him much longer than I have, and I was jealous of that. But as I got to know Duke better, I realized he’s a good friend to Tuck
er and vice versa. They need each other, just as Tucker and I need each other.”
Selene smirks. “So you and Duke are friends now?”
I sigh. “Sadly, yes.”
She laughs.
“We like to call each other horrible names.” I grin.
“I’ll bet.”
About fifteen more minutes pass before Tucker and Rhys return. Rhys immediately apologizes to me, which I accept. The rest of dinner is more laid-back, and we keep the conversations to neutral topics.
After dinner, Tucker takes Max into the living room for some playtime. I follow, then sit on the couch while they play on the floor with building blocks. Soon I’ll be doing this with my niece or nephew. I smile as Max bonks Tucker on the head with one of the foam blocks and Tucker very animatedly pretends to get knocked out. I’m still kind of surprised Tucker doesn’t want kids of his own with how he interacts with Max. He seems to really enjoy being with him. There is a difference, though, when it’s not your kid. You don’t have to worry about all of the things that go along with raising them—for the most part, anyway.
Selene puts Max to bed around 8:00 p.m. Tucker and I take that as our cue to head home. We say our good-byes, then make our way out to my car. I get behind the wheel and start it. Tucker sighs heavily and roughly scrubs his hands over his face.
“That was not how I planned for today to go,” he murmurs, staring out the window at his brother’s house.
I squeeze his thigh. Tucker turns to me.
“It’s okay,” I assure him.
“I’m sorry about my brother.”
“Don’t be. He apologized. You two worked shit out. It’s all good.”
He gives me a half smile and a nod. “Thanks, Denny.”
I give his thigh another squeeze and let my hand sit there as I drive us the two hours home.
TUCKER
I HAVEN’T been out on my motorcycle in forever. It’s a Friday night, and Dennis is working, so I decide to take my baby out for a ride, maybe stop by the pub and say hey to him. She’s what would be considered a crotch rocket. She’s sexy for sure. And yes, to me, she’s a girl. I forgo wearing my sweats in exchange for my leather pants. They are all black and are specially designed for riding. My leather jacket is mostly black but has a royal-blue stripe and a white stripe across the chest, back, and arms. The blue matches the color of my bike. My helmet is also royal blue. I’ve learned my lesson about riding without leathers; road rash is not something I want to repeat.