by Andria Large
He shakes his head. “Nothing good.”
“What does that mean?” I frown.
“I just have a lot of questions that I know you don’t have the answers to.”
I sigh heavily and take another sip from the bottle in my hand.
“What kind of questions?”
“Like if your family asks you to choose between them or me, who will you choose?” he whispers, turning to look at me.
My breath catches at the raw fear in his eyes.
“Baby, you know I love you….”
“Is love enough when it comes to something like that?” he rasps harshly.
I stare at him. Is it? “I’d like to think so,” I breathe.
He shakes his head. “I don’t think it is. Not when it comes to the possibility of losing your family.”
“What are you saying? That I’d leave you?” I ask incredulously.
“I know you will,” he states, and it’s like a blow to the gut.
“Dennis,” I hiss in disbelief.
“I know you love me, Tuck. I do. And I don’t think you would intentionally want or try to hurt me. But you love your family too. I’m just saying, if it comes down to a choice, I think you’ll choose them.”
I can only shake my head. He’s got my mind spinning. Would I? Would I really leave Dennis if my family made me choose? I honestly don’t have an answer right now. I turn to stare unseeingly at the TV. I’m not in that position, so I don’t know how I would answer. I’d like to think I’d never give up Dennis. I love him. He’s everything to me. He’s my forever. But if it costs me my dad and brother? Fuck! I just don’t know. I mean, if they found out and freaked, would they actually expect me to dump Dennis and go back to dating women? I honestly don’t think that’s something I could do. Dennis is my life. He’s more than my lover. He’s my best friend. I need him in my life.
Dennis’s hand covering mine pulls me out of my thoughts. When I look over at him, I’m met with his soft lips on mine.
“I will always be yours, no matter what. Understand?” he murmurs, his lips brushing mine.
I nod, then lean in for another kiss.
DENNIS
THE NEXT morning, I get a call saying my prosthetic has come in early. Thank fucking God! I call Lizette, who is crazy excited. She comes and picks me up to take me over to the prosthetist’s office so I can try it on and hopefully leave with it.
Luck is finally on my side. The limb fits great, especially after a few tweaks. It’s incredibly comfortable and very easy to put on and take off. I leave the kneeling crutch with them and walk out with my prosthetic and regular crutches. When Lizette and I get back into the car, we look over at each other and smile. To see all of the love and adoration in her eyes directed at me makes my heart swell.
“Thank you, Lizzie,” I say sincerely.
She gives my forearm a squeeze. “You’re welcome, Denny. I’m glad I was finally able to do something for you after all you’ve done for me.”
I nod. “Love you.”
“Love you too, big brother.”
Lizette drives me home, and after giving her cheek and belly a kiss, I get out and make my way into my building. As I crutch my way over to the elevators, I see Duke waiting.
“Hey!” I call out to him, unable to stop the ridiculously happy smile on my face.
He turns, searching to find where the voice came from. He sees me and grins, his eyes immediately going to my right leg.
“You got it?” he asks when I stop next to him.
“Came in early,” I reply, practically giddy.
“Nice!” he says and gives me a clap on the back. “Feel better?”
“So much better.” I sigh in relief.
“Good.”
“How was your Thanksgiving?”
“Crazy as usual,” he muses.
The elevator dings, and the doors slide open. We step into the box, and I let Duke hit the button.
“How was yours?” he asks.
I shrug. “Kinda sucky actually. Tucker went with his family, and I went with mine. I had hoped we would be spending it together, but it didn’t work out that way.”
He hums in understanding. “How’s his mom doing?”
“She’s still kickin’, surprisingly. The doctors didn’t think she would last this long.”
“How’s Tucker holding up?”
I sigh. “He’s hanging in there, I think.”
The elevator stops, and we get out. I open the door to our condo and walk in, letting Duke follow me and shut the door.
“I go to sign the papers on Monday for my apartment,” he says with a big smile.
“Awesome! Congrats!”
“Yeah, I’m happy about it. It’s a nice building, and it’s only a few blocks from here.”
“That’s great, Duke. How are you feeling mentally?” I ask, glancing at him over my shoulder as we make our way into the living room.
“I’m feeling better. Getting the apartment has definitely lifted some weight off my shoulders.”
“That’s good.” I nod.
We take a seat on the couch and turn on the TV. We watch a COPS marathon for a couple of hours until Tucker gets home from work. He looks run-down and emotionally drained. He slowly shrugs out of his coat and hangs it up, then unloads his pockets onto the table next to the door. He yanks at his tie as he walks into the living room. His eyes have yet to lift from the floor.
“Hey, man. You doing okay?” Duke asks in concern.
“I’m just exhausted. I think I’m gonna go right to bed,” he mutters and starts down the hall toward our bedroom.
Duke and I frown after him.
“He really hasn’t been himself lately,” Duke murmurs.
I shake my head. “No, he hasn’t.”
“Go make sure he’s okay,” Duke urges.
I nod in agreement and make my way to our bedroom. When I walk in, Tucker is already nestled under the covers with the lights out. I quietly shut the door.
“Tucker? Don’t you want dinner?” I ask softly.
“I’m not hungry,” his muffled voice replies.
I go over to the bed and set my crutches against the nightstand before climbing in next to Tucker, who is lying on his stomach, the covers pulled up to his chin. I lie down next to him on my side. His face is turned away from me. I reach over and lightly run my fingers through the hair on the side of his head.
“Is there anything you need? Anything I can do for you?” I ask gently.
“I just… I just want to be alone,” he whispers.
“Okay.” I frown.
I kiss his cheek, then make my way out of the room.
Duke looks at me when I emerge from the hallway. “I thought for sure you two would end up fucking.” He snorts.
I shrug. “He said he wants to be alone.”
Duke blinks. “He did?”
I nod.
“That’s so odd for Tucker,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Has he gone back to see his therapist yet?”
I nod again. “He just went the other day.”
Duke shakes his head and sighs. Yeah, I totally understand. Tucker isn’t acting like himself, but I can’t blame him. He’s under a lot of stress right now. If he wants to be alone, then I’ll leave him alone, even if I hate it. Because what I really want to do is gather him up in my arms and hold him. I didn’t even get to tell him about my prosthetic. Not like he would have seen it because he didn’t look at me, but it would have been nice to be able to share some of my excitement with him. It wasn’t the right time, though.
Chapter Twenty-Three
TUCKER
I WAKE up somewhat more refreshed than I have been. Man, I needed that extra sleep. I’ve been so exhausted—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I’m still a little shocked at myself for actually telling Dennis last night that I wanted to be alone. But I was so tired, and I didn’t feel like being near anyone—sadly, not even Dennis. I’m glad he gave me the space I asked
for. I needed it.
I open my eyes and glance at the clock—8:00 a.m. Holy shit! I actually slept past 6:00 a.m.! Good thing I didn’t have work today or I would have been late. I go to shift, but I can’t because I’m trapped under Dennis’s weight. I didn’t even realize half his body was on top of me. His head is on my shoulder, his right arm is wrapped around my chest, and his right leg is draped over mine. I sigh and hug him closer, kissing his forehead.
Dennis snuggles in closer to me. “Morning,” he mutters.
“Hey, baby,” I reply softly.
“Are you feeling better today?” he asks.
“Much. I’m sorry about last night.”
“Don’t apologize.” He lifts his head from my shoulder so he can look at me.
“I just needed to be alone.” I frown.
“I understand.” He uses his right hand to rub my chest reassuringly.
“How was your day yesterday?” I ask, since we basically didn’t talk all day.
A small smile curls Dennis’s lips. “I got my new limb.”
I gasp and sit up, practically throwing him off me. “You did? Why didn’t you tell me?”
He laughs. “You wanted to be alone! I didn’t want to bother you.”
“But that’s important!” I huff.
“Sorry. I’ll make sure to tell you next time.” He chuckles.
I roll my eyes at him. “So? How is it?”
“It’s great. Feels fantastic.”
“And you’re going to keep up on getting it adjusted, right?” I say, giving him a pointed stare.
“Yes, sir.” He snickers, giving me a half-assed salute.
“Don’t be a dick.” I shove at his shoulder.
Dennis gives me a lecherous look before grabbing his morning wood through his boxer briefs. “I got your dick right here,” he growls.
I shiver at his tone. He watches as I climb on top of him, forcing him onto his back. I nudge his face to the side with my own before leaning down and nipping at his earlobe. He huffs out a harsh breath and squirms under me, searching for friction. I slowly kiss my way down his body, dragging his underwear off as I go. I shove his legs apart so I can fit between them. After gripping the base of his already-leaking cock, I lift it off his belly.
“I guess I owe you for last night,” I rasp, then flick my tongue across the very tip of the head.
Dennis just groans and thrusts his hips, trying to get me to do more. I smile and flick my tongue again.
“Tucker! Come on!” he pleads, lifting his head from the pillow to glare down at me.
With his full attention, I slowly take inch after inch into my mouth until I can feel him down my throat. Dennis cries out and drops his head back down. His hands find my hair, and he hangs on tightly. I let him fuck my mouth like he wants, which is hard and fast. Within minutes, he’s coming down my throat and gasping for air. I climb back up his body and kiss him on the lips.
“That was good,” he hums, his eyes closed. “I like waking up to a blowjob.”
“I like waking up to you,” I murmur with a small grin.
He opens his eyes and looks up at me. “I like waking up to you too.” He smirks, and I can see all the love and adoration he has for me in his green eyes.
DENNIS
AFTER MY very nice wake-up call, Tucker and I get dressed and make our way out into the living room. Duke is sitting at the dining room table, typing away on his laptop. Since neither Tucker nor I are working today, we’re both going to go to the hospital to visit his mom. It sucks to be out of work—again—and I’m surprised Jim has kept me around as long as he has. He’s a good guy, though, and I’m very grateful he’s my boss.
Duke lets us take his car to the hospital. He said he’s not planning on going anywhere today. When we walk into Tucker’s mom’s room, his dad, brother, and sister-in-law are already there. After greeting everyone, Tucker gives his mom a kiss on the forehead and speaks quietly to her. I have no idea whether she can hear him or not. I stand off toward the foot of the bed with my crutches tucked under my arms.
“How’s the foot doing, Dennis?” Tom, Tucker’s dad, asks.
I glance down at my casted foot before turning back to him, giving him a shrug. “Just waiting for it to heal.”
He nods in understanding.
After an hour of small talk, Rhys, Selene, and Tom decide to go grab some coffee and something to eat from the cafeteria, leaving us alone with Sherry. Tucker moves into the seat his father was occupying and takes her hand. He glances over at me before looking back at her.
“Mom, I don’t know if you can hear me or not, and I don’t know if Dad has said anything like this to you, but I heard it helps people let go. It’s okay for you to leave. Dad will be okay; Rhys and I will make sure of it. You don’t have to hang on for us. It’s time for you to go,” he says softly. “We love you, and we know you love us. You don’t have to suffer anymore.” His last words are a little choked, so I go and stand behind him and place my hands on his shoulders.
A few minutes pass in silence. Then a small voice fills the silence.
“Tucker?” Sherry breathes, her eyes fluttering open.
Tucker shoots to his feet and leans over his mom, hand still holding hers. “I’m here, Mom.”
She smiles weakly. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he croaks.
“Don’t you worry about what Dad and Rhys think,” she whispers.
I can’t see Tucker’s face because his back is to me, but I’m pretty sure he’s frowning.
“What?”
Sherry’s eyes flick to mine. “Dennis. He loves you, Tucker. That’s all that matters.”
Tucker glances over his shoulder at me before turning back to his mom, his look saying he’s totally confused. “But what if they disown me?” he whispers.
“They might, but they will come around eventually. They love you, and they won’t want to lose you either.”
“How can you be so sure?” he rasps.
She smiles. “Because mothers know everything.”
He huffs out a small laugh.
“Tell them I love them. And I love you too, my sweet boy.” She breathes as her eyes slowly close.
“I love you too, Mom,” Tucker chokes out.
My eyes burn with the threat of tears. I’m pretty sure this is her last good-bye, and I think Tucker knows it too. I glance at the heart rate monitor. It’s not making any noise, but there is only a straight line. Tom asked the nurse to turn the sound off because he didn’t want to hear that telltale flatline beep whenever Sherry decided to go.
“She’s gone, Tuck,” I murmur.
He drops into the chair with a stiff nod. He puts his head into his hands and sobs. I don’t know what kind of comfort he wants from me right now, so I just place my hand on his shoulder and squeeze, letting him know I’m here for him. I wipe away my own tears as a couple of nurses come into the room, followed by a doctor. He calls her time of death before giving Tucker a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and leaving the room. The nurses go about unhooking Sherry from the machines and IV.
“Tucker, you need to call your dad and tell him to come back here.”
He nods and collects himself as best as he can while pulling out his phone. But just as he’s about to hit Send, the door bursts open and his father, brother, and sister-in-law rush in. The anguished cry that comes from Tom breaks my heart. Tucker stands so his father can take his seat. Tom drops heavily into the chair and takes his dead wife’s hand. He places his forehead on it as he cries, saying her name over and over. Rhys is standing by the end of the bed comforting Selene, who is crying also. Tucker stays next to his father, arm around his shoulders.
I whisper to Tucker that I’ll be out in the hall. He nods and thanks me. I know they need their private family time. I lean against the wall, crutches tucked under my arms, and pull out my phone. I text Duke to let him know.
TUCKER
I FOLLOW Dennis into the condo later that night. I’m kind of in shoc
k. I mean, I was expecting… waiting for her to die. But now that she’s actually gone, I really can’t believe it. Dennis has been great. He gave me time with my family without me having to ask. He’s remained quiet and yet is a solid source of comfort, even if we’re not hugging and kissing. I know he’s here. That’s exactly what I need right now.
My mother’s funeral is already prearranged, so my dad only has to contact the funeral director to let him know she’s passed. The only thing that needs to be figured out is what day her viewing and funeral will be on. Since today is Saturday, it will most likely be a Tuesday night viewing and Wednesday morning funeral, with the service at the funeral home.
My mind is in shambles, so I don’t even notice Duke until he’s wrapping his arms around me.
“I’m so, so sorry about your mother, Tuck,” he says sincerely.
I slip my arms around him and clutch the back of his T-shirt. I want to thank him, but I know if I speak, I’ll end up falling apart again, so I just nod against him and let him hold me.
“She’s in a much better place now. No more suffering,” he whispers.
Damn him! He had to go and say more, didn’t he? The waterworks start up again, and I can’t control it. Another pair of arms comes around us. Dennis tucks his face against mine and kisses me on the cheek. Thank God for these two rocks. I don’t know what I would do without their love and support.
I pull myself together and suck in a shaky breath as we separate, wiping my eyes with the hem of my T-shirt. Dennis drapes his arm across my shoulders. “Let’s get you something to eat.”
I nod. “Yeah, okay.”
After we all eat, Dennis and I retreat to our bedroom. I’m completely exhausted. We strip down to our underwear and climb into bed. Dennis pulls me up against him, tucking me in close to his body.
“I’ve been thinking about what my mom said,” I murmur, my head on his chest.
“Okay,” Dennis replies slowly.
“How did she know about us?” It’s been bothering me all day.
“Well, I had assumed she forgot, but remember when I first met her and she had her a little freak-out and I took her for a walk?”