From War to Forever

by Andria Large

  “Yeah.”

  “She asked me then if I was in love with you. I didn’t lie to her, and she kinda figured it out anyway, because she said she could see it when I looked at you.”

  My breath catches. If she could see it, maybe my dad and brother can too. Maybe they’re okay with it. No, if they knew, they would’ve said something to me.

  “She said your dad and Rhys might not be as accepting as she was about it. She was just happy you were happy. She loved you no matter what,” Dennis says softly and plants a kiss on my head.

  “How come you never told me?”

  “At first I didn’t have the chance, because we weren’t alone. Then it just slipped my mind,” he murmurs, nuzzling his nose into my hair.

  I nod, fighting back tears once again. My heart hurts. I thought I was ready for this. I thought I was ready for her to go. She wasn’t really “with us” anyway. But she’s my mom, and I love her, and I’m going to miss her something terrible.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  TUCKER

  VIEWINGS ARE the worst. Standing here for hours, shaking hands and hugging people, most of them I don’t even know. The sorrow, the sadness, the pity. I hate it all. But here I am, standing next to Selene in the receiving line, watching person after person say a prayer at my mother’s open casket before making their way over to us to give their condolences. My dad has been staying strong. And Rhys… well, he just looks pissed off. I know he has a bug up his ass about me not calling him as soon as Mom woke for the last time. I tried to explain that it wasn’t for that long and he wouldn’t have made it anyway. But he’s hurting and upset and not seeing reason right now.

  Dennis and Duke were some of the first ones here, and they refuse to leave. I told them they didn’t have to stick around, but they aren’t budging. Stubborn bastards. Only makes me love them more. I’d be doing the same if it were the other way around. I wish I could give Dennis a hug and kiss right now. I really need it. Especially when he looks so delicious in his suit and tie. Annnnnd now I feel like an ass for thinking about my boyfriend like that at my mom’s viewing.

  My attention is diverted when a new swarm of people comes in. After the first hour and a half, I need a freaking break. I excuse myself and head for the bathroom. It’s only a one-person bathroom, so I shut myself inside and lock the door. I brace my hands on the sink and pull in a deep breath. A soft knocking a minute later has me jolting in surprise.

  “Be right out,” I call.

  “Tuck, it’s me,” Dennis says.

  I unlock the door and let him in, then lock it again. I immediately wrap myself around him and tuck my face into his neck. I breathe in his familiar scent, and all is right in the world again. Dennis hugs me back and strokes the back of my head.

  “You okay, babe?” he asks gently.

  “Better now. I needed this,” I murmur against his neck.

  “You’re doing great up there. Just one more hour and then it’s over,” he soothes.

  “Until tomorrow.” I sigh.

  “Yeah, well, expect tomorrow to be worse. Not only do you have the funeral, but the burial at the cemetery too.”

  “I know,” I groan. I pull back from his embrace and give him a light peck on the lips. “I better get back out there before they wonder where I am.”

  He nods, his green eyes taking in my face. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, baby.”

  I crack the door and peek out to make sure no one is watching before I slip out. I make my way back to my family and take my spot just as another group of people comes in to pay their respects. Dennis returns a few minutes later, taking his time on his crutches. He sits down next to Duke in the front row of seats. I watch as Duke leans over and says something to Dennis, who has to bite back a laugh. His eyes flick to mine, and he sends me a quick wink. I give him a small smile in return before having to shake someone’s hand, who is telling me how sorry they are about my mother.

  DENNIS

  I CRAWL into bed after taking a shower, which is a complete pain in the ass with this cast. I have to make sure it doesn’t get wet. I was lucky enough to find a cover online just for this purpose. Only a couple more weeks, and then I should be able to get rid of this thing for good. Get back to normal.

  We have an early start tomorrow. There is another viewing at 9:00 a.m., and then the service begins at 10:00 a.m., followed immediately by the burial at the cemetery. After the cemetery, there is a luncheon. It’s going to be a long friggin’ day.

  Tucker is out in the living room talking to Duke. Duke is going to be moving out at the end of the week. He signed the papers for his new apartment on Monday, and Friday is move-in day, since that’s when all of his new furniture is being delivered.

  I’m out cold by the time Tucker comes to bed. I don’t even think I woke up when he climbed into bed next to me and snuggled in close. I just know that when I wake up this morning, he’s wrapped around me. Muttering incoherently, he fumbles with the alarm clock that’s beeping away. He finally gets it to stop, then rolls onto his back and stretches, joints popping loud enough for me to hear them. He looks over at me, his eyes tired and sad.

  I grab his hand and kiss his knuckles, because I’m sure my breath smells like shit. “It’ll be okay. I’ll be there with you all day.”

  He sighs. “Yeah, I know. It’s still going to be hard.”

  “Of course it is,” I agree. “But you’re strong. You can do this.”

  He nods. “Thank you.”

  I kiss his hand again. “Let’s get ready.”

  We climb out of bed. I put on my prosthetic and grab my crutches so I can go to the bathroom before I get dressed. Tucker heads to the kitchen in his underwear to start the coffee. After I finish using the bathroom and brush my teeth, I make my way back to the bedroom. Before I can walk into the room, Duke shuffles out of the guest room in his boxer briefs. He looks like he’s still half-asleep.

  “Morning,” I say.

  He just grunts before shutting himself in the bathroom. I snort and shake my head. The one thing I’ve learned since Duke has been living here is that he is not a morning person. At least not until he’s had some coffee.

  I dress in my second pair of black suit pants and a dark blue dress shirt with a black tie. I grab my suit jacket and make my way out into the living room. I lay my jacket over the back of the couch so it doesn’t get wrinkled before heading into the kitchen, where Tucker is drinking his cup of coffee, still in his underwear, just staring off into space.

  “Hey, Tuck. You should really go and get dressed,” I say.

  He starts and blinks at me. “Oh, yeah,” he mutters and sets his mug on the counter before leaving.

  A few minutes later, Duke and Tucker emerge from the hallway, both dressed in their suits and ready to go. We drive together in Duke’s car to the funeral home. Once there, Tucker goes off with his family while Duke and I grab seats in the front row. It’s going to be a long day, that’s for sure. I’m glad I have Duke to sit with, though. I’d hate to be sitting here by myself the whole time.

  The viewing goes by fairly quickly. Then the service starts. The minister stands in front of the casket, says some prayers and talks for a little bit. Once he’s finished, Rhys gets up to give the eulogy. He talks about what a wonderful person Sherry was, how great of a mother she had been, and how loving of a wife she was. He talks about his and Tucker’s childhood, how Sherry used to let them help her make cookies, and how she used to sing to them before bed. He tells a couple of funny stories before moving on to talk about her illness. I think if I hadn’t known firsthand what Sherry was like, I wouldn’t have been as upset. But having met her, Rhys’s words bring tears to my eyes. I glance over at Tucker to see that he is full-blown crying, his arm around his sobbing father’s shoulders. Rhys is also getting choked up as he continues to talk.

  I hate that I can’t go over to Tucker and comfort him. It really irks me that I can’t give him what he needs. He’s my boyfriend, the l
ove of my life, and I can’t even be by his side to hold him when he needs me the most. But there’s nothing I can do about it right now. Tucker wants to wait until everything with his mother blows over before bringing our relationship up to his dad and brother, which I understand. I just pray they take it better than he thinks they will.

  TUCKER

  I’M STANDING next to my brother and dad as they lower my mother’s casket into the ground. There is a big hole in my heart right now. I’m pretty sure I’m all cried out; what’s left is nothing but hollowness. The only thing I want to do right now is have Dennis hold me. I need his strong arms wrapped around me. I need his love. I know he’s here, but it’s not the same. I would kill to be holding his hand right now.

  My dad is a complete mess. His pain is almost palpable. I swear I can feel it rolling off him. It hurts to see him like this. I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going through right now. He’s lost his wife, his best friend, the love of his life. I look over at Dennis. He’s staring at the grave, tears running down his face. There’s no doubt in my mind he’s thinking about Zara right now. And shit, if anyone here knows how my dad feels, it’s him. Duke has his hand on Dennis’s shoulder, and I’m grateful he’s been such a good friend, not only to me, but to Dennis. The minister says a few more prayers, and then it’s all over.

  They don’t fill the grave until everyone leaves. So as everyone starts to disperse, I make my way over to Dennis and Duke. “Hey, you okay, Denny?” I ask softly.

  Dennis swipes away the tears from his face and sniffs. “Yeah, sorry, this part was hard for me,” he rasps.

  “Hey, no apologies. I understand.” I squeeze his arm. I really wish I could pull him into my arms and hug him tightly.

  “How are you doing?” Dennis asks, his eyes searching mine.

  “I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

  He nods.

  “Tucker!” Rhys calls.

  When I turn, he’s waving at me from next to the limo.

  “I gotta go. I’ll see you guys over at the luncheon.” I sigh.

  Dennis and Duke both agree, and I start for the limo where my dad, brother, and sister-in-law are waiting. Selene’s parents came up from Philly so they could watch Max during everything. Rhys got lucky to have such wonderful in-laws.

  The luncheon is in a private room at a nice Italian restaurant. Familiar faces surround me—my aunts, uncles, and cousins are all there along with some of my parents’ friends. A couple of my brother’s close friends have come also. The mood in the room is pretty somber, the conversations quiet. I get the chance to sit with Dennis and Duke while we eat, since my dad is occupied by his brother and sister.

  We are sitting at a table with Rhys, Selene, and Rhys’s buddies. After we eat and the dishes are all cleared away, Dennis leans in close to me and whispers, “Care to get some fresh air?”

  I sigh heavily. “Yes, please.”

  Dennis and I stand. I wait as he tucks his crutches under his arms, and then we make our way out to the front of the building. We walk down the sidewalk a little bit so we’re away from the doors. I turn toward him and wrap my arms around him. Dennis sighs and melts against me.

  “Fuck, I needed this,” he breathes.

  “Me too,” I whisper.

  Dennis leans back slightly so he can see my eyes. His hands come up to cup my face, and his thumbs brush over my cheeks. His eyes are soft and loving. God, I could get lost in those green eyes of his. His lips lightly brush over mine, and I let my eyes slip closed. I’ve missed him so much today that I don’t even care we’re in a public place right now. I need his love and affection. It’s been a horrible day, and the only thing that can make it better right now is Dennis. He presses more firmly and my breath catches. He tilts his head so he can deepen the kiss. I grip the lapels of his suit jacket, keeping him close.

  The next thing I know, Dennis is gone, and when I open my eyes, my brother is shoving him away. Dennis, being on crutches, has no balance and falls back onto his ass.

  “You sick fuck! What the fuck are you doing to my brother?” Rhys screams at Dennis, then starts after him like he’s going to beat the shit out of him.

  Rhys grabs the front of Dennis’s shirt and socks him right in the mouth. I get to Rhys just as he cocks back his fist for another shot. I grab his shirt and roughly yank him back. I spin him and shove him up against the side of the building. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I bark at him.

  “What’s wrong with me?” he blurts incredulously. “What the fuck is wrong with your friend… taking advantage of you like that while you’re at your mother’s funeral? Fucking faggot!” he practically spits at Dennis.

  I’m confused for a minute but quickly realize Rhys thinks Dennis was the one coming on to me, and kissing me, and that the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Oh, how wrong he is. I glance at Dennis to find him getting to his feet with the help of his crutches.

  “Are you okay, Denny?” I ask.

  He gives me a sharp nod. The corner of his bottom lip is split and bleeding, and I can tell by the fire in his eyes that he’s fucking livid. I turn back to my brother, whom I’m holding against the wall by a hand to his chest.

  “What the hell is going on out here?” comes my dad’s concerned voice from my left.

  “That sick son of a bitch was forcing himself on Tucker when I came out here,” Rhys shouts, pointing at Dennis.

  My eyes widen at the accusation.

  “What?” my dad booms.

  I shove away from Rhys and move to stand in front of Dennis. I will not have either one of them hit him again. My father stops a few feet away from me, and my brother goes and stands next to him. Behind them, Duke has come out, and so have a few other people to see what the commotion is all about. Duke’s face says it all. Shit’s about to go down. He works his way past my dad and brother to come stand with Dennis and me.

  “What the hell is Rhys talking about, Tucker?” my dad asks, an edge to his voice that I find myself not liking at all.

  “Rhys came out and saw Dennis and me kissing,” I state calmly.

  The disgusted look on Rhys’s face slays me. My dad narrows his eyes at me. “You tell me right now, was it unwanted?”

  I swallow hard. This is it. It’s all coming out right now. Fuck. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time. I shake my head. “No, it wasn’t unwanted. Dennis has been my boyfriend for almost a year now.”

  My father’s eyes widen in shock.

  “We’re in love,” I add, as if that will help.

  “You! You motherfucker! What did you do to my brother?” Rhys shouts and storms toward us. He’s got eyes only for Dennis, though.

  I tense in preparation to fight my brother, but Duke intercepts him, holding him back. “Hey, calm yourself, my man,” Duke grunts, keeping his hands on Rhys’s chest.

  This is even worse than I could have imagined.

  Rhys shoves at Duke’s hands. “Get your damn hands off me! How can you stand by and let your friend be manipulated by this asshole?”

  Duke’s expression hardens, and his Marine face makes an appearance. Rhys actually balks. Yeah, Duke can look pretty damn scary when he dons that face.

  “There is nothing wrong going on here. They are both in this relationship willingly. No one manipulated anyone,” he states firmly.

  Rhys shakes his head. “I don’t believe that. My brother would never willingly be with a man.”

  “And why wouldn’t I be?” I ask incredulously.

  “You’re not gay! Or bi! You’ve always been with women!”

  “Until now,” I say softly. “This is real, Rhys. You can choose to believe it or not, but Dennis and I are together.” I reach back, take Dennis’s hand, and lace our fingers together.

  Rhys blinks and shakes his head in disbelief. “No. No fucking way. No way is my brother a faggot,” he murmurs, almost to himself.

  I pinch the bridge of my nose with my free hand and close my eyes for a moment. “Can you please
stop saying that word?” I grit out. I seriously don’t like the word faggot.

  When I lift my eyes, I see that my father has disappeared, but my brother is still standing there, his fists clenched at his sides.

  “I think you need to leave, Tucker,” Rhys says in a low, hollow voice.

  This is exactly what I was afraid of. “Rhys, come on,” I plead.

  “No! You need to go,” he snaps.

  I search the faces behind him. A couple of my uncles and cousins seem torn, and Selene appears heartbroken. She looks at me, shakes her head, and mouths that she’s sorry. But for what, I’m not sure. Rhys’s behavior, maybe? Or the fact she is most likely going to side with her husband? I’m assuming the latter.

  I help Dennis to the car while Duke watches our backs. I don’t think he trusts my brother not to take a cheap shot at Dennis. I don’t blame him. I don’t trust him at the moment either. I get in the backseat with Dennis while Duke drives.

  “Denny, are you okay? How’s your lip?” I ask, grabbing his chin to turn his face toward me.

  His eyes are hard and pissed off. The right corner of his bottom lip is split and bleeding slightly, but it’s not too bad. Duke tosses back a box of tissues he keeps in his car. I pull a few out and put them to Dennis’s bleeding lip. He takes the tissues from me, then turns to look out the window.

  “I’m so sorry, Dennis,” I croak. “I never expected my brother to react like that.”

  Dennis shakes his head. “It’s not your fault, Tuck. I’m just so fucking pissed by his accusations that I manipulated you,” he says, his voice eerily calm.

  “Yeah, that was pretty fucked-up,” Duke says from the driver’s seat.

  I groan and drop my head into my hands. “What the fuck am I going to do?”

  “Give them some time to calm down, then try to talk to them,” Duke says.

  “I don’t even know what my dad thinks. He disappeared without saying a word.” I sigh.