by R. Lorelei
“You weren’t with me two minutes and you’ve already hurt me,” I whimpered.
His eyes filled with his own tears, “I’m sorry, but you hurt me too. I stupidly pushed you towards Nick because I wasn’t sure what to do. Was it just sex or did he make love to you?”
Numb, my eyes gave him the answer he wasn’t looking for, the one I couldn’t bear to confess.
“Answer!” he seethed.
“He made love to me.”
“Stay with him then, we’re finished!” He stormed out of the loft slamming the door behind him.
~22~
Everything in me told me not to text Nick, but if I didn’t text him then I knew for sure I would have called Bradley and I didn’t want to do that! I could only imagine Nick having a field day with this one. He would be in all of his glory teasing me about this relationship when I used to do the same thing to him for not having long relationships with his girlfriends. I texted Nick:
Chanel: CODE BLUE
Nick: Again? Do you want me to call you or go to your loft?
Chanel: Paddocks
Nick: When?
Chanel: ASAP
Nick: Give me 30
Chanel: Okay
I had a few minutes to spare so I changed into Nick’s black tracksuit for comfort and cleaned the makeup off my face. I threw on a light coat and walked briskly to the bar leaving Snowball behind. Deep in thought, I hadn’t noticed Nick parking Jezebel until he was getting out of her. One glance at me and he commented, “Don’t you look rough!” He cloaked his arm around my shoulders and led me into the bar like we were a couple, “Let’s get you a drink.”
He pulled my chair out for me and guessed, “Cosmo?”
“No, Martini.” He went to the bar and ordered our drinks before coming back to the table with his clairvoyant observation, “That’s your breakup drink Coco. He looked into my eyes which transported him to the pits of my soul. Then he smiled at me, “Fuck off! You didn’t!” He went into a full blown Gail of laughter that bordered on hysterics, “I’m sorry Coco, and you already broke up with the THROB?” He didn’t stop, he couldn’t stop, he was laughing too hard.
I felt pathetic, but couldn’t blame him, so I elaborated a little more, “No, I didn’t, HE did.”
He regained control of his laughter when he heard me say that Bradley was the one. His carefree expression suddenly went dark, replaced with anger, “So he fucked you, you two fucked right and then he left you at the wayside?”
“Not exactly.”
“You better explain quickly before I leave here to go beat the shit out of him.”
I looked up at the bar, “She’s coming with our drinks, just a second.” The waitress placed his Cosmo down on a doily and then did the same for my Martini before she left us alone. I took a long sip before starting into my story, “I invited him to sleep over at my house tonight. We started talking and I asked why he wasn’t at work this morning. He kept evading the question until finally he admitted to being in court finalizing his divorce with, ‘Maggie.'”
Nick looked confused, “That’s good isn’t it?”
I took another long sip of my martini, “No, it’s not. He never told me that he was married to Maggie from the Cath lab. The one you said I can’t hold a candle to. You’re such a prick by the way! She’s not THAT beautiful!” I glared at Nick, “How come you never told me she was his ex-wife?”
Nick shrugged, “I thought you knew. Everybody knows.”
“Well, I guess I was the only one who didn’t. I told him that when he introduced us, he should have introduced her to me as his ex-wife.”
“I’m not going on his side, but that doesn’t seem like a big deal, and it still doesn’t explain to me why HE broke up with you.”
“I said I wasn’t sure if I could handle seeing her all the time knowing that she was his ex-wife. He said that I wasn’t being fair to him because I was expecting him to be okay with our friendship and the fact that we slept together recently.”
“You told him we slept together?”
I smiled, “No, I told him you made love to me.”
“What did you say?”
“He told me he wanted to smash you face,” I answered meekly.
“Fuck Chanel, I don’t want to fight him! What else did you say?”
“I told him that I was never in love with you the way he was with Maggie.
“Ouch!” Nick yelped. “You’re getting rough with my ego. You’re in love with me, you just don’t know it,” he winked. “You don’t know when to stop. What did he say then?”
“Then he told me to go back to you and slammed the door leaving me alone in the loft, after I even let him drive Snowball!”
“Fuck off! You didn’t! I haven’t even driven her! What does THROB have that I don’t have? You’re with him two-seconds and you let him drive her.”
“It’s not all about you Nick.”
We had finished our drinks and stepped outside when Nick said, “I’ll take you home. I have to get my scrubs from your place.”
I gulped, “About them.”
He opened his car door for me, “Yes?”
“I don’t have them anymore.”
He started the car and as Jezebel roared to life, he scowled at me, “What did you do to them Coco? They were my favorite ones.”
I paused, “Bradley said, ‘I don’t like it when you wear his clothes,’ and then he tore the top off my body before he took me savagely in the Cath lab!”
“Too much information, I never do that shit to your stuff Coco!”
“That’s because you don’t wear my stuff, Nick”
“A good thing for you that I don’t. I would outshine you in your own clothes!”
“Ha, ha.”
We got to the loft and he cloaked his arm around me again, and then said, “By the way, I had a code grey to discuss with you, so I was just about to text you when you texted me first.”
“Oh, well come on in then. We can have another drink and talk.”
He followed me up to the loft and he let us in with his key. I grabbed two drinks from the fridge and opened them, handing one to him. I noticed Bradley’s drink along with my own still on the cocktail table. I should have cleaned up before I left; it was disappointing being here with Nick rather than Bradley. I dread being alone after Nick leaves. It felt weird asking him to stay while he was seeing Aria who lived next door.
He sat on my sectional with his arm on the pillow, waiting for me to sit close to him. I snuggled into him as he started talking, “Have you and Aria ever discussed sex?”
I paused for a second, “I can’t say that we have. Is there a problem? Don’t tell me you can’t get it up? Did she make a comment about your size? I’ve just learned to live with it.”
“Ha, ha, very droll.”
“I get the impression she wants me to go all CODE WHITE on her.”
“What do you mean Code White Nick?”
“You know,” he said turning all red. “Whips, spankings, butt plugs.”
“Oh, I could see Aria liking that. She strikes me as the type. I won’t push Bradley away if he tries.”
“Can I try it on you first Coco?”
I could tell he was serious, “Sorry Nick, I would probably laugh. Girls like that stuff, kinky ones anyway. You have to be serious if you decide to dominate. Tell her what to do, order her around, but don’t hurt her. I like Aria.” We turned on the television and stayed cozy with each other for a few more minutes. He wanted to leave, but I whimpered and clung to him. He didn’t try again, he knew I needed him and he stayed with me.
~23~
Nick left early the next morning because he still had to go home to get dressed for work. As tempting as it would have been for me to call in, I forced myself to remain professional and dragged my ass in. I decided to forgo with makeup and my business casual attire in exchange for an old pair of scrubs and my white coat.
When I got to the nurses station, Bradley was already there, he
saw me come in, I was sure of it. My heart pounded in my chest seeing him. We didn’t acknowledge each other. He looked so hot; it was murderous seeing him. If he took off his white jacket and changed his tie, he could have gone straight to a ballroom after work. This was way harder than I ever expected it to be, upsetting to say the very least.
I took the computer next to him. His cologne entered my personal space enticing me into wanting to touch him and kiss him. Sitting next to him was making me long for him. I was failing at my personal attempts to hold onto the anger I felt during our fight yesterday. He handed me my list of patients but said nothing. I took the list from him without making eye contact.
I tried to give the patients on my list my undivided attention but it took everything in me to stop myself from thinking about him. Oh my God, could this day get any harder? I completely understood now, why it’s so bad to date someone you’re working with. It’s when the relationship ends that it turns from a good thing to a very bad thing.
Lunchtime came I didn’t know what to do with myself. I always had lunch with him, now I found myself alone, feeling lost. I trudged to Tim’s but when it was my turn in line I had no appetite and only ordered a tea. I sat alone.
The second half of the day was no better than the first. I got a page at 2:30 p.m. from a number I didn’t recognize. I called it, “Hello? This is Chanel, returning your page.”
There was a delay and a click noise. It sounded like I was being taken off speaker, and if I was correct I heard a male voice in the background. At the time, I thought nothing of it, but when I reflected on it later, I realized the significance. “Oh, hi Chanel, it’s Ainsley. Can you come to my office when you have a minute?”
Ainsley the Personnel woman that oriented me hadn’t called or reached me since day one, literally.
“Sure, I’ll be right there.” I could feel my heart beating rapidly as I wondered what she could possibly want. The two minute walk to her office felt like it took forever. It didn’t matter how kind Ainsley was to me during the orientation before, I couldn’t help feeling intimidated by her authority over me now.
I had no idea what this was going to be about, but I definitely had my suspicions. I tapped on the solid wood door to her office not even sure if she heard the tap until she invited me in.
She stood as I entered, “Chanel, how nice to see you again.” She shook my hand, “Sit, please.”
I sat down and stayed quiet letting her lead the conversation. I didn’t want to delay her from telling me why she called me in.
“I called you in Chanel, because we’ve decided to have you work with Dr. Morden rather than Dr. Hart for the rest of your residentship.” My level of concentration on what she was saying changed after that and even though we talked and I answered her, I couldn’t tell you a damn thing that was said in that meeting because I was devastated. Why did Bradley do this? If he could work close to Maggie, why couldn’t he handle working close to me? I wanted to confront him on it, but I knew if I did that I would probably start crying.
“Chanel, Chanel,” was what I heard that snapped me out of my thoughts. Ainsley looked worried, “Are you okay? Did I say something that bothered you?
My mind had come back to the present, and now I was thinking quickly, “Ainsley, I’ve got something I need to discuss with you. I am in the midst of a personal crisis and since I am now changing doctors, would it be possible to take a week leave of absence?”
“Can you tell me a little more about why you need the week?”
“I’d rather not.”
“I’ll have to run it by Chase.” Ainsley started digging through her desk drawer until she pulled out a legal sized piece of paper and handed it to me, “Fill this out and submit it back to me. I will run your request by Chase; in the meantime, if it gets approved which I think it will, I’ll notify you on your outlook later this evening.”
She gave me a clipboard to write on and as I began filling out the form, she called Chase’s secretary and asked if she could see him. He took her in immediately, leaving me alone in her office. I finished the form and then my mind started wandering off wondering what made Bradley do this. When she got back she said, “He wants to see you.”
“Chase? Now?”
“Yes, he’s waiting. You can leave the form with me. He will tell you directly if your leave of absence has been approved or not. I won’t have to send you a message this evening. Do you remember where his office is?”
“I do, thank you.”
I treaded to his office a bundle of nerves. The door to his office was ajar, and the secretary sitting in front of the door spotted me and informed me, “He’s waiting for you.”
I slowly pushed the heavy door open and he was looking at me, “Have a seat,” he ordered. I sat in the seat and I felt so small and powerless. He was wearing a three piece suit and shiny shoes. He looked like a million dollars. It was weird looking at Bradley’s twin, especially when Bradley wasn’t talking to me anymore. It hurt more.
He got up from his desk and began pacing, “I take it Ainsley informed you that you will be working with Dr. Morden rather than my brother, Dr. Hart.”
I cast my eyes down submissively when I answered him, “She did.”
“I take it you’re okay with the change?”
“Can you tell me the rationale behind your decision?”
“Why do you presume it’s my decision? I suggest you approach the other Dr. Hart for your answers. I on the other hand will gladly be approving the seven day leave you have requested, and look forward to working with you on the fundraiser when you get back. Your leave will begin tomorrow, but feel free to take the rest of the day off.” I was stunned to find out that Chase hadn’t been the one to make the decision.
“Thank you Dr. Hart.”
“You’re welcome. You may go now.”
I started leaving his office after being dismissed, but just as I approached the door he called out, “Chanel?”
I stopped and turned back, “Yes, Dr. Hart?”
He walked up to me and now he was standing in my space. I could smell his cologne, I could feel his raw power, his black edgy eyes, “If my brother did something to upset you, I apologize for him, and I insist you call me Chase.”
“Thank you Chase, I’ll see myself out.” It was a side to the Great White, I never imagined he had. Maybe, hate was too strong a word for how I felt about him.
~24~
I quickly went to the nursing station to collect my bag making an effort not to be seen. Before I walked in I saw Bradley leave. The coast was clear. I walked in casually not drawing attention to myself. I opened the drawer that held my purse and then I bee lined it out of there. Success!
I took the most direct route to Snowball, took elevator over stairs, kept my eyes down and my pace quick hoping nobody would initiate a conversation with me on my way out. When I got into Snowball I sighed deeply, feeling glad that I made it out to the sanctuary of my car, in one piece.
Snowball and I drove slowly; the streets were busy with the rush of people working nine to five. I parked Snowball and strolled up to my loft. I opened the front door and decided the first thing I had to do was clean. I scrubbed vigorously. I went on a rampage throwing everything that hadn’t been worn in at least six months into a garbage bag. When I got tired, I stopped.
In the corner of the living room, I spotted my Mac Book Air lying undisturbed. On impulse I opened it and googled last minute trips. Expedia had prepackaged vacations to Vegas for four nights and five days starting for as low as $599.99. The first flight out was the redeye leaving Toronto at eleven tonight. I booked it. I thought, why the fuck not! Nobody is going to miss me.
I grabbed my suitcase and packed, shorts, bathing suit, my e-reader, sun tan lotion, anything and everything I could think of that I would need while I was gone. I grabbed my cellphone and called my provider getting a special rate for long distance while I was away so I wouldn’t have to pay outrageous roaming fees.
Final
ly, I texted Aria:
Chanel: Hi Aria,
Aria: Hi Chanel!!! How R U?
Chanel: I’m okay.
Aria: Good I was worried. I thought I heard U arguing the other day with some1, but I figured it might have been U’R TV.
Chanel: No worries I’m okay. I am going away 4 a short trip.
Aria: Oh! That’s nice!
Chanel: U don’t mind keeping an eye on the loft while I’m gone do U? I can drop the key by just B4 I leave 4 the airport.
Aria: No problem. Where R U going?
I didn’t want any surprises so I evaded her question.
Chanel: USA.
Aria: Cool, come over anytime with u’r key. I’ll make sure everything is safe.
Chanel: Thx
I made myself dinner with anything I didn’t think would last in the fridge for four days. Luckily the fridge was almost bare so I had nothing to worry about. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and a huge glass of milk (a third of a gallon) were my dinner.
I turned on my TV and personal video recorder to watch this year’s Bachelor Jose, wine and dine some post pubescent totally into themselves girls, while I sat alone miserable on my ugly, should have been thrown out years ago gray sectional, feeling sorry for myself.
I called a cab to pick me up from the loft an hour before I needed it. I ran across the street to the bank machine to get some money to pay the cab fare.
It was a gorgeous night. There wasn’t too much traffic and you didn’t even need a sweater. I checked on Snowball making sure her alarm was on and her doors were locked. I went to the loft one last time to grab my luggage, turned the lights off and then stopped by Aria’s to give her the key. I was done.
It didn’t take long for the cab to appear in front of the loft. I stood from the couch grabbing my luggage, and headed for the door. Traffic was light so we got to the airport early, after I checked in, I could relax. Six hours later I was in the Bellagio in Las Vegas.