by Soraya Lane
“Stop,” she said, voice firm.
Nate stopped immediately, looking down at her with concern. Only he was met with a smug grin as she moved from underneath him and pushed at his shoulders, palms flat as she forced him to his back.
“I think I need to practice what you’ve been teaching me,” she murmured, moving to sit astride him and leaning forward, her hair covering his face until she shook it away and kissed him on the mouth.
“What’s that?” he asked, happy to be part of any performance she wanted. For all the talk about him being her teacher, there hadn’t exactly been so much teaching as just plain old fun happening between them.
“To do whatever feels good for me.”
He chuckled, then groaned as she moved up, lowering herself over him and starting to rock back and forth. Her head was tipped back, long hair touching his thighs as she moved, brushing against him, teasing him. Faith moved slowly at first, and he raised his hands to cup her breasts, loving the fullness of them above him, holding them as she rode him. Faith’s eyes were shut, but he didn’t shut his for a second, wanting to watch every move she made, keep his eyes locked on the breasts that drove him crazy.
Then she started to ride him faster, her body locked to his, and he cupped her ass instead, held on to her hips, and rocked hard inside her. Just when he started to lose control, knew there was no way in hell that he could hold back, Faith slowed, her body more gentle, the intensity of her actions gone at the same time as he gave in to his own climax. Nate kept hold of her, not letting go of her butt until his body relaxed, then scooping his arms around her so she could collapse on top of him.
Nate inhaled the sweet smell of her hair, hated that it was mixed with the faint aroma of cigarettes from her night out but liked that it was covering his face nonetheless. He kissed her neck, held her tight, their bodies still fused together as they lay in silence.
“You’re amazing,” he told her, surprised by how gruff his voice sounded. “Best sex of my life.”
She let out a low laugh. “How can one man make me feel like utter crap and then you come along and make me feel like a goddess?”
He held on to her tight, wishing she knew how amazing she was without him having to tell her. But then if she knew that already, he probably wouldn’t have fallen for her so hard. The fact that she seemed to have no idea how goddamn beautiful she was or that she was incredible whatever she was doing was all part of the reason he liked her so much.
“I’ll tell you now and I’ll tell you again, Faith,” he said, smiling up at her as she looked down at him. “You are the most amazing creature I’ve ever met. I only wished you could see in the mirror what I see whenever I look at you.”
“Thank you, Nate,” she whispered, looking shy as he stared at her.
“For what?”
She dropped back down on top of him, mouth just close to his ear. “For everything. What you’ve done for me will change my life forever.”
* * *
Faith fought the tears that were burning—stinging—her eyes. Just saying the words to Nate made a choke form in her throat, the finality of what she’d done weighing on her so heavy she could hardly stand it. When she’d come home tonight, she’d told herself that this was it. Her last night with Nate. They couldn’t keep going on like this, couldn’t live in this delicious bubble any longer without one of them getting hurt. And so she’d decided to give herself one more night with him. One more night to enjoy him, to let her body feel pleasure like it might never feel again. To lie with the man who’d changed the way she looked at the world.
She wasn’t lying when she’d told Nate that he’d changed her life. He’d helped her find the job she had, which had put her on the first step of the ladder in the art world. He’d explained to her how to make a success of herself, been so genuine in his appreciation for her, made her feel worthy and beautiful, like nothing or no one would ever be able to stand in her way again.
Which was why leaving him was so heartbreaking. She’d told herself repeatedly to leave before she fell in love, but the reality was that she’d already fallen.
“You okay?” he asked.
Faith nodded and held him tighter. “Yes.”
They lay a bit longer together, neither one of them wanting to move. Their bodies were warm, her mouth was against his skin, and Nate’s hands were stroking her back in big, slow circles.
“Are you going running in the morning?” she asked.
Nate cleared his throat. “Yeah. I’m heading out at daybreak with Chase.”
She excused herself to go to the bathroom, kissing Nate before she pulled away from his embrace.
“Why? You want to come?” he asked with a chuckle.
“No!” she called out, the door to the bathroom still open.
Faith washed the makeup from her face and brushed her teeth before joining him back in bed, still naked, and tucking up beside him. Nate lay on his back and she dropped her head to his chest, making herself comfortable.
“Good night, gorgeous,” he said.
“’Night.”
She listened to the steady beat of his heart, heard his breathing change as he fell asleep almost immediately. Faith stroked his chest, squeezed her eyes shut to block the tears again, then eventually moved and reached into her purse that she’d left beside the bed to pull out her phone. She texted her brother, hoping Sam would have his phone with him. He always rose early, which meant he should at least get it first thing if he didn’t receive it now.
Need you to pick me up from King Ranch just before 7 am. Don’t be late. I need you. F xo
Faith switched her phone to silent and curled up beside Nate again. She’d miss his big, muscled body against hers for a very long time, but she was doing the right thing. Or maybe it wasn’t the right thing, but it was the only thing that made sense to her right now.
Chapter 13
FAITH’S hands were shaking as she zipped up her bag. Nate had risen early, had bent over to kiss her cheek before he’d left, and she’d just stayed still and listened to him go. The second the door had closed she’d jumped up, hurriedly dressed, and grabbed her two bags, stuffing in as much as she could.
She glanced at her phone, left discarded on the bed while she got ready to flee. The screen was lit up, so she grabbed it and scanned the message. It was Sam.
Tried to call u before. Driving. Be there in 15. Hope u ok.
Faith pulled another tissue from her purse and wiped her nose, blinking the tears away as they started to fall. She just needed to hold it together a bit longer, not completely fall apart just yet. She’d check into a cheap motel for a few nights until she found somewhere to rent; now that she had a job she could afford to cover her own expenses, and she already had enough money saved to finish her post-grad to get through that. It was going to be tight, but she was in charge of her own destiny and doing it on her own started now, even if she had called her brother to come get her.
She put her coat on and pushed her phone into her pocket, taking one last look around the bedroom. It was the last time she was going to see it, going to be in Nate’s room, part of his life. It would have been so easy to throw everything back in the closet, undress and hop into bed, wait for him to get back from his run, and join him in the shower. Lather him up, both slick from the water, and let him have his wicked way with her.
But she couldn’t. It was time to go, and she needed to leave now while she had the chance to go in private. Faith stopped in the kitchen, tears still streaming down her cheeks, and reached for the notepad she’d put on the counter earlier in the month to jot groceries down on. She picked up the pen and leaned forward, taking a deep breath before writing. She had no idea what to say, especially after the night they’d had, but she couldn’t go without saying something.
Nate. This seems irrational and stupid after the night we just shared, but I have to go. Thank you for making me feel beautiful, for the weeks of fun & telling me so genuinely to follow my dreams. I will never forget the time we sp
ent together, & I will never, ever forget you. Faith.
Her tears fell onto the paper, soaked through the notepad as she dropped the pen and backed away. She’d been planning what to write all morning, trying to figure out how to tell him how she felt, but all the practicing in the world didn’t make it any easier.
A noise outside made her look up and she grabbed her bags and walked toward the door. Sam’s pickup truck was outside and she moved quickly to the front door, opening and closing it and hurrying toward him. Her brother was already out and walking toward her, his face turning from surprised to angry when he came closer.
“What the hell did he do to you, Faith?” Sam demanded.
She started to sob then, unable to keep it together any longer. She thrust her bags at him.
“Nothing,” she managed. “We need to go. Now.”
Sam stared at her, then started toward the house. “He in here? I’ll fucking kill him!”
“Sam!” she cried. “Please. Just get in the truck and go.”
He turned and looked back at her, eyes wild with anger.
“Please,” she begged. “Just get me out of here before he comes back.”
Sam glanced at the house again and then to her, grabbing her bags and walking past her to throw them in the bed of the truck. She got in quickly and clicked her seat belt, leaning her head deep back into the seat and staring out the window at the homestead. The wisteria growing along the porch was so stunning, the house the type of home that she’d always dreamed about living in as a little girl, all part of her childhood dreams of an idyllic life. There had been so many times she’d wished to live in a house just like this, to have a family like Nate’s. Only as a child she hadn’t realized that her brother’s best friend had experienced pain like she had with his own parents, that the family she saw was, in fact, his grandparents caring for the three boys as if they were their own.
Sam started driving, and she kept staring, hoping they didn’t end up seeing Nate. He was usually gone an hour, which meant they were cutting it fine.
“I told you he was going to hurt you, Faith. I told you he was going to break your heart and I was going to have to pick up the pieces, and look what I’m doing,” he seethed. “I warned him what I’d do and I wasn’t damn well kidding.”
Faith let him rant, knowing he had to get it all off his chest before she interrupted. “Nate hasn’t done anything wrong,” she managed, finally back in control and no longer sobbing. She wiped a few stray tears away, brushing them aside, and dabbed at her nose with a tissue she found in her pocket.
“You’re my sister, Faith; I know when someone’s hurt you,” Sam said. “Tell me what he fucking did and I’ll—”
“Sam, listen to me,” she quietly demanded. “Nate hasn’t hurt me. I’m the one who’s doing the hurting here, and he’s going to hate me for leaving like this. Which is why we have to get out of here now before he tries to stop me.”
“But why are you leaving?” Sam asked, taking his eyes off the drive as they neared the road. “What did he do to make you leave?”
“Nothing,” she admitted. “Nate did absolutely nothing wrong, and that’s why I have to go.” Faith didn’t expect him to understand, hell, she didn’t truly understand why she was so scared of being hurt or falling in love herself, but what she did know was that she’d had to do it.
“You’re sure?” Sam asked, slowing before turning out onto the road.
Faith breathed a sigh of relief as they left King Ranch. It had been her home for over a month, and it might just have been the best month of her life. But it wasn’t real; it was just a moment in time of them both having fun and wanting the same thing at the same time. The bubble would have burst one day; it was just a matter of when.
“Where am I taking you?”
“A motel. Somewhere cheap where I can wallow for a few days before finding a place to rent.”
“No way.” Sam took a hand off of the steering wheel and reached for her. “You can come stay with us.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I need some time to myself.” She didn’t want to be staying with her brother while she was heartbroken over Nate, was craving just being alone for a while.
“I’m not leaving you alone,” Sam insisted.
She squeezed his hand back. “Well, you’re going to have to,” she said. “This is just something I need to do, Sam.”
He grumbled but didn’t say anything else, and she leaned across and pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the window. She was going to make the most of the next few days. She was going to cry and wallow, but she was also going to make goals and plans. She was going to take charge of her future and make sure nothing and no one stopped her from getting what she wanted from life.
Nate had been fun. Nate had been delicious. Nate had been exactly what she’d needed at a time when she’d been low. He’d made her feel amazing and worthy and confident. Which was why he’d always hold a place in her heart that she doubted any other man would ever be able to fill.
“You sure about the motel?” Sam asked, his tone more gentle now. “Because Kelly would never mind you coming to stay for a bit.”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” she said.
And so Sam drove and she stared, wondering if she’d perhaps just made the biggest mistake of her life or whether she’d done exactly what needed to be done. Either way, she’d done it, and there was no going back.
* * *
Nate was still breathing heavy when he walked into the house, laughing with Chase as they headed for the kitchen.
“You’re all fired up today,” Chase joked. “I thought I had you at the bend, but you smoked me.”
Nate hauled the fridge door open and passed his brother a bottle of water. They both unscrewed their bottles and guzzled.
“I had a good night. Maybe that helped.”
Chase groaned and leaned forward, grimacing as the cool of the stone hit his bare skin. “Lucky you. We had Harrison in bed with us all night. I’m craving the night he starts to sleep through. Morning sex is a thing of the past.”
“Morning sex is overrated,” Nate said with a laugh, seeing a notepad and pen discarded at the other end of the counter. “Just go to bed earlier and get it on. Then you don’t have to worry about morning breath. Or rushing to work.”
“Hey, I only have to roll out of bed and I’m at work. When I say I miss morning sex I mean it. Hope’s hot in the morning, all rumpled and warm from sleep.”
Nate laughed and reached for the notepad. He set his water bottle down when he realized it was a note from Faith.
“Faith!” he called out, walking fast through the kitchen to the bottom of the stairs. “Faith!” he called louder.
Nate paused when he didn’t hear anything, read the softly scrawled words on the paper he was holding. He read it once, then again, before dropping it and taking the stairs two at a time. He stopped outside his room, looked at the empty bed still rumpled from the night before, threw the closet door open, and saw the empty space where her things had been hanging. Fuck.
She was gone. Faith had gone like a ghost that had never been there in the first place in the short space of time that he’d been out running.
“Fuck!” he bellowed.
Chase appeared behind him, still bare chested and holding his water bottle, top tucked into the waistband of his running shorts.
“What’s happened?” he asked.
“She’s fucking left me,” Nate muttered.
Chase didn’t say anything, just took a step forward and gave him a firm pat on the shoulder, his hand lingering. “She’ll be back. You guys were great together.”
“No, she fucking won’t.” Nate stormed into his bathroom and turned the faucet on, stripping off and stepping under the water. “She’s gone,” he called out to Chase from the shower, “and this is exactly why I never should have let her move in in the first place!”
Damn Faith Mendes. She’d played him like a pro, seduced him and wiggled her way
into his life until he’d wanted her there for good. Last night they’d made love like it was their last night together, and now he realized that it had been exactly that. Faith had known she was leaving in the morning; it was why she’d asked about his run. So she’d fucked him and tricked him.
He rubbed shampoo furiously into his hair, fingertips dragging against his scalp. Faith was gone and he had to forget she’d ever been part of his life. So what if he’d been falling for her, if he’d started having irrational thoughts about what it would be like to have her in his life long-term?
They’d only ever meant to have fun. It had only meant to be short-term. He grunted as he stood under the water and let the hot blast his face.
At least now he’d had a taste of his own medicine. All the women he’d been with, all the women he’d told he was just wanting a good time with and had ended up breaking their hearts. Now he knew how they felt.
He fucking loved her. He’d never admit it to another soul, but he had fallen for Faith, he’d fallen hard, and getting over her wasn’t going to be easy. He wanted her in his bed, in his life, in his future, no matter how much he told himself he didn’t. He’d spent so much of his life scared of letting anyone close, terrified of being in love with a woman he might lose one day. And now he realized how stupid that had been.
He wasn’t his father and he never would be. Faith had gone and it hurt like hell, as if someone had tried to crush his chest with a load of steel. Instead of telling her how he really felt, he’d let her walk out of his life, and his pride would never let him chase her when she’d made it clear that they were over.
Which meant he had to suck it up and get on with life. With drilling for oil. Looking after his family. Focusing on the ranch.
It was all he knew and it was exactly what would keep him going when all he really wanted to do was smash the hell out of something until his knuckles bled.
Nate got out, got dressed, and collected his keys as he walked out the door. He ran a hand through his wet hair before jumping behind the wheel and heading down the road, not stopping until he got to the field where the drilling was prepped to go ahead. He took a deep breath as he got out and crossed the grass, pleased to see there were already two guys on-site. He was paying them a lot to get work under way immediately.