Her Lover (Belle de Seigneur)

by Albert Cohen

  CHAPTER 54

  Perched on a ladder with a lantern in one hand, the tiny creature examined herself in the mirror on the wall, made faces at her reflection, then rouged her lips, powdered her square face, smoothed her large soot-black eyebrows, licked her finger and with it wet her beauty spot, smiled at herself, finally climbed down, and ran towards the far end of the cellar, along walls oozing with damp and bristling with long nails. When she reached the prone man, she struck an elegant pose with one hand on hip and, smiling clever smiles, hummed a tune. He shuddered, sat up, leaned against the wall, and passed one hand over his blood-soaked forehead.

  'May God guard you in the coming week,' she sang softly in a contralto voice. 'And tell me, kind sir, what is your name and how good the family from which you came?'

  As he stared at her without answering, fascinated by her head, which was supported by no visible neck, she shrugged her shoulders and turned away. Sweeping her short train behind her with a flourish, she began walking to and fro impulsively, perched on her high-heeled dancing-shoes, making the flounces of her yellow satin dress flare, and cooling herself furiously with a fan made of feathers.

  'Not that I care, you know, I have absolutely no wish to get married,' she said. She had come close to him again and was still fanning herself in a jangle of charms and armlets. 'But, really, the ingratitude! Apart from the fact that I got dressed up like this for your benefit, it was I who saw you through the ventilator looking dead, you could have been shamming or perhaps you weren't, and it was I who ran and told my uncles, and they went out when the blond beasts had gone, rushed out at once to bring you in here, and bring you they did! And so here you are, quite safe! This is my father's house. He was a wealthy antiques dealer and I am his only heir, but I shall marry a famous doctor so that I can wave my fan in the best drawing-rooms! I shall bewitch him by singing songs which tell how he will find sweet bliss in my cradling arms! Of course my sister is beautiful too, but I'm not afraid of competition because she's blind and anyway her brain isn't quite what it should be! And in any case the doctor will get a double dowry, because my back's not straight! You shall see my sister presently! She is still asleep in a cellar which she has all to herself! She is very beautiful, and I'm proud of her even though I'm quite tiny! But no one must look upon her! She is sacred! Ambivalent! My feelings are ambivalent! I know a lot of words! Ask me any difficult word and I'll tell you what it means! I know explanations for everything! With just one glance I can tell you what a person is like! It's fear, do you see? And my sister is even more beautiful than you are! And if you don't like it then lump it, kind sir! Now that's cleared up, I, thanks to my double-dowered doctor, shall be received in the very best drawing-rooms, I shall be respected and important, and I shall fan myself quite furiously! Oh yes, I know that all men are born free and equal before the law, but that doesn't last long! So there! Give it a year or two and you'll see! They won't be satisfied with beating us or making us lick their dirty floors clean with our tongues or stringing us up with our hands behind our backs — hang on, I'm going to shout the next bit — with pulling our fingernails out or putting hot irons on our flesh or holding our heads under water! Give it one year, three years, and they'll be doing much worse! Their iniquity will reach up into heaven itself, said my uncle-in-religion, also known as my uncle-in-majesty. They will commit acts of great horror!' she yelped, and she fanned herself, then whirled round and yelped once more: They have the backing of the entire population! My uncle told me! Read the papers, find out for yourself! And when the sabbath day comes round do you know what my uncle-in-religion and my uncle-in-business do, even though our suffering is great? Well listen! They look at each other and try to laugh a little, for the sabbath is the Lord's day, the day of peace, and we must be happy!

  That's what my uncles are like! So respect them! They even taught me a prayer! I shall recite it to you very quickly, so listen carefully! I shall begin now. "But we are Thy people, we are the children of Thy beloved Abraham with whom Thou didst make a covenant upon Mount Moriah; the descendants of Isaac who was offered up as a sacrifice; the posterity of Jacob, Thy first-born son whom, in Thy love and for the joy he gave Thee, Thou hast called Israel! Praise to Thee, O Lord who hath chosen us above all peoples to be the receptacle of Thy holy Law! And so, in the mischief of morning and the despair of eventide, we proclaim how joyful we are, how fortunate our lot and how pleasant our fate!" (Breathless with having recited so quickly, she paused to rest, put one hand on her heart, and smiled a kindly smile at him.) Isn't it a beautiful prayer! Sometimes when I say it my nose turns quite red because I'm so proud I want to cry! I'm going to try laughing too on the sabbath! I shall tickle myself under my arms to make myself laugh in our cellar, our beautiful cellar! It's dark and full of nails! There are nails everywhere! Big nails for big tribulations and small nails for small tribulations! They were put there by my uncle-in-business! Fingernails torn out, one nail! An ear sliced off, another nail! It's a way of passing the time, a consolation! There are lots of nails, maybe a hundred! We shall count them together! You've got to take your fun wherever you can, you've got to forget! I'd love a cracknel biscuit! I'd crunch it and run at you lunging and sliding and laughing to make you afraid! Give it one year, three years! The Germans are a terri, terri, terrifying people!' she screamed suddenly at the top of her voice. 'But only we know how terrifying! Beasts, beasts, beasts is what they are! They like killing! Oh yes, they may dress like men but they are beasts all the same! You shall see what they'll do to us, you shall, you shall!' she shouted, pointing a finger at him threateningly. 'So start quaking now! They do it because they hate our Law! They are beasts. They love forests and ambushes in forests, like real beasts which hide behind trees and jump out and go for your throat! Aaaargh! They aren't afraid in the forest, oh no, they sing in the forest! Two thousand years ago we had our prophets! Two thousand years ago they were wearing helmets decorated with the horns of beasts! My uncle-in-majesty told me so! I have a crooked back but I am a daughter of man! There, I think I've explained it all to you now! Oh say fine things to me, speak comfortable words! You can't think of any? Never mind, let's have a laugh instead, let's enjoy life! Sing "May God guard you in the coming week." Show that you were brought up properly. Repeat the words back to me, for today is the holy day! "May God guard you in the coming week." Say it now!' she cried, and she twirled her imitation-pearl reticule.