“That he does,” he said.
Feeling that the conversation had virtually dried up, I tucked the book under my arm and gave Canter a parting nod. “Well, I should be going. Thank you again for helping me.”
At my words, his excited smile returned. “You are most welcome!” he said merrily. “Actually, before you go, would you like to pick something to take with you?”
I looked over at him. “Take with me? Like…some of your work?”
He nodded. “Yes! It would be a great honor to know that the Blood Racer was flying with something I made. Please, I insist! Pick anything!”
I felt my eyes narrowing slightly. “Anything? And you’ll just…give it to me?” I couldn’t help but feel suspicious.
“Anything at all, and it’s yours,” Canter said, gesturing to the good around him. “It would be my pleasure. Besides, I have quite a few tokens that are hoping you win. If I can give you something to help, it would be a privilege.”
Now it made sense. He was making an investment. He gives me a free gift now, and he gets a whole shipload of tokens later. If I were to win, of course. For some reason, I didn’t really enjoy the thought. Then again, it didn’t make much difference. How many others were betting on me? Against me? Win or lose, a great deal of money would change hands because of me. If I lost, at least I could get a free Dan Canter item out of the deal.
“Sure,” I said, slowly scanning the store around me. Normally, I would never be able to afford products such as these. A set of flasks alone cost more than I made in a month. Whatever I chose, I had to make it worth it. He was offering me one thing to take, and I was going to make it count. Though, really, I didn’t see how much good any of these things could do for me. If I couldn’t figure out the race’s clues, or if I made one wrong move, none of these trinkets could save me.
After a moment, however, I spotted something that made me reconsider that thought. On the side wall, on a shelf below a beautiful series of custom designed flight gauges, there was a row of perfectly crafted gas masks. The faceplate was smooth, clear glass, and the buckles were a shining brass, which stood out against the leather fittings. The filter canisters were large and cylindrical, and looked like they would hang down against the wearer’s chest. I strode toward them at once, picking one up in my hand.
“I had a close encounter with the Veil last night,” I confessed. “This would be good to have…in case I got too close again.”
Canter grinned widely. “An excellent choice, my dear!” he said. “Up to six hours of clean air. It’s yours. Here, take this.”
From behind the counter, he pulled out a rich, dark leather shoulder bag, one that looked big enough to carry the mask in. He tossed the bag toward me and I caught it, admiring the hand-stitched work on the thing. It was only a bag, but it was beautiful to me. I immediately slipped the gas mask inside, as well as the book from Nichols. To personalize it, I pulled the Helios brooch from my pocket and pinned it to the thick strap of the bag, positioning it so that the symbol sat neatly along my left collarbone. I wasn’t sure, but I would have sworn I saw Canter eyeing it.
“Thank you so much, Mr. Canter,” I said, feeling my face growing warm. “It’s…very generous of you.”
Canter gave a small shrug. “Well, just do us both a favor and win this race, Miss Silver.”
“I’ll do everything I can,” I told him. “Thank you.”
The two of us exchanged farewells, and I exited the shop, feeling more than a little excited about my new possession. I wanted to slip it over my face as soon as I could, just to try it out. Sadly, I couldn’t…not unless I wanted to seem more freakish and unusual than I already did. At least, with a shiny new bag over my shoulder, I was attracting less scornful glares. Instead, I almost blended in. Fewer people looked directly at me, and the ones that did seemed just plain indifferent. I’d settle for that any day.
As I wandered the streets of Shiloh in the orange, evening sunlight, I tried my best not to think about anything. I was alone, I wasn’t being bothered, and I wanted to enjoy it. I soaked in the mesmerizing sights of the city, watching the light dance off the high windows and building frames, even watching the townspeople as they went about their daily lives. I didn’t realize it, but my feet knew where I wanted to go. Before I knew it, I was feeling the sensation of plush grass beneath my boots. I was back at the Wall of the Fallen.
I took my time getting to the wall. Feeling rebellious, as always, I slipped off my boots and socks and strolled slowly through the neatly trimmed grass of the surrounding park. It was cool on my feet, almost damp, and I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the green blades sticking up between my toes. I even liked the fact that I left footprints in it. I was used to seeing footprints in snow. After all, it would often snow for five or six months out of the year back home. In the grass, though, it was much more fun to see.
After a few minutes, I slowly traipsed my way toward the wall, moving toward the seventh slab of stone. The most recent one. Thankfully, there was no one else in the area. I really hoped that no other contestants would be rushing in here to try and solve the clue. With luck, everyone who was going to show up already had.
In the evening light, I slowly sank down into a sitting position by the seventh panel and looked up to the names, my eyes honing in on the one I had seen earlier: Amelia Silver. It only took me a second to find it again. When I did, I couldn’t help but to reach up and touch it.
“Hi, mom,” I whispered, feeling a dangerous lump forming in my throat already.
I rose to my knees and looked a bit higher on the slab, to the victims of the 68th race. There, among too many other names, was yet another familiar one: Victor Silver.
“Dad,” I muttered, placing my hand on the smooth carving of his name. They had both given their lives to try and win a better life for our family. All they wanted was some peace for their loved ones, and a little honor for their bloodline. These letters, these small spaces on this huge wall, this was all they received. After all was said and done, this was all they had to show for their sacrifice.
As I sat there, I realized this was the closest they would ever have to a grave marker. Most people in Adams were cremated. I had even heard stories of dead bodies being dumped over the side of the docks, or into the simmering magma of the plant. Only the rich were entombed. They were the only ones that could afford such a thing. But here, on this wall, the names of my parents were displayed forever. I guess it was sort of an honor, in a way.
There were all kind of memories that were gnawing at the fringes of my mind, memories of my mother and father, and the days we used to spend together. I didn’t have a wealth of pleasant memories with my father, mainly just the days we spent under the panels of the Cloud Kicker. On any normal day, I would stop myself from reliving the memories, from letting myself feel the pangs of loss. The only way I could keep those thoughts from breaking my heart each day was to not think about them at all. Now that I was here, though, as close to the presence of my mother and father that I was going to get, I felt the need to share.
“So, I entered the race,” I said to them, wiping a solitary tear from my cheek. “I know, I know…it was stupid. Things have…been hard…without you guys.” Try as I might, another tear slid down my face. At once, I cleared my throat and brushed it away. I needed to change the subject. “Mom…Zanna’s been trying to make your garden work. She’s not as good as you, but she really tries. You should see her tomato soup. Rigel buys it all the time. And Echo is getting so big!”
With the sun slowly sinking into the blazing orange clouds, I sat on the concrete patio that the wall stood upon, recapping all the events of the last three years of my life. I must have talked for over an hour, telling my mom stories about Zanna and Echo and Rigel, and telling my father everything I had done with the Kicker, every modification I’d made. After some time, when nothing but the pale blue twilight remained above me, someone else had come to the wall. I didn’t even notice the newcomer until h
e spoke to me.
“I thought I’d find you here,” Rigel said. His voice was soft and subdued, and he approached me almost cautiously.
I turned my head toward him, but didn’t say anything. I was expecting to feel anger at the sight of him. Surprisingly, though, I felt almost relieved to see him, like I was safer, somehow, having him there. I wasn’t exactly pleased with him, especially after how he had acted, but I wasn’t going to turn him away. I let him stroll towards me and crouch down beside where I sat on the concrete. He focused primarily on the Wall of the Fallen, but his gaze flashed towards me for a split second. Even in the dimness, I could see the creases in his forehead.
There was an awkward silence for a few seconds. He clearly hadn’t thought any further than his opening line. He probably assumed I’d tell him to get lost before he could say anything else. I almost smiled at that thought. Even now, without speaking, and while still aggravated at him, I was feeling the warmth that always seemed to emanate from Rigel. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stay mad at him. Why fight it?
“Did you walk on the grass?” I asked him, finally breaking the silence.
He looked up at me, searching my face as a tiny smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. “I did,” he said. “It was really something. I’ve never felt that before. Is it weird that I had to take off my boots?”
I chuckled. “Nope. I did it, too.”
He smiled wider, which was infectious. I couldn’t stop my lips from pulling back into a grin. “Think they’ll notice if I cut out a square and take it?”
I laughed. “Only you would think of trying to steal grass, Rigel.”
He nodded and laughed with me. “I was just thinking that my place could use a yard.”
Here it was. I was back with my best friend again. Had we been back in the Gap, it could have been any other evening, the two of us talking and joking on the docks, or at my house. I still felt a tad slighted from earlier, but I was quickly getting over it. It wasn’t like he left me hanging on that cable, dangling over the Veil, or anything. He had actually saved me from getting stuck on the thing. Even so, I would probably let him apologize a couple more times before I forgave him.
“So,” he said, exhaling slowly. “Have you been sharing the latest gossip with your folks?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I figured it couldn’t hurt,” I replied. “You know, there’s probably six generations of my relatives on this wall. Being here - being in this race, just like they were - I think I feel more…connected to them than ever.”
Rigel smiled softly, ignoring the break in my voice. “Maybe you really are the Blood Racer,” he said.
I scoffed lightly. “Yeah, maybe.” I took a deep breath and let out as a sigh, staring up at my mother’s name. “I wonder what they would say…seeing me make the same mistake that they made.”
“I think they’d agree that it wasn’t a mistake,” Rigel whispered.
I shook my head. “I’m not so sure. They both gave their lives to try and make mine better, just for me to turn around and put it all at risk.”
Rigel scooched closer to me. “I don’t think they’d see it like that. You knew the dangers of the race. You knew what could go wrong. I think they’d be proud that you had the strength to take the chance. Not many people could do that. It’s a special person who can risk it all for the right cause.”
I kept my lips pressed tightly together, afraid of what heartbroken sound might come out of them.
“They’d be proud of you, Ellie,” Rigel said quietly. “Just like I am.”
Oh, no, I thought. Not now.
The tears were back, and for some reason, there was no stopping them this time. A sob escaped my throat before I could slap a hand over my mouth. I was past the point of no return, now. “I miss them, Rigel!” I blubbered pathetically. “I miss them so much…I hate it…”
Immediately, he was there, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him. For several minutes, I wept silently against his chest, letting the warmth of his body slowly calm me. Without saying a word, he gently stroked the short hair on the back of my head, just letting me cry. He didn’t even seem to care that I was ruining his shirt. I can’t say for certain what exactly brought on the sudden attack of emotion, but it was foreign territory for me. Even at home, alone in my room, I always forced myself to hold everything together. I had worked hard to build up the walls that protected me from my own pain. Now, they were cracking. The pressure of the race was taking a heavy toll on them.
After some time, I managed to regain a tiny semblance of composure and pulled back from Rigel, wiping the wetness from my face.
“Sorry,” I told him, sniffling loudly. “I’ll…be sure to not do that again.”
He smiled sadly. “I wouldn’t mind it,” he said. “Ever.”
As I used the backs of my wrists to dry my eyes, I heard him sigh deeply. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
He lowered his head and looked up at me from beneath his creased brow. “Ellie, I’m so sorry…for running. You were right. I was stabbing you in the back. I should never have done it. I’m really sorry.”
I shook my head. “No, you dummy. I was just mad when I said that. Don’t worry.”
He began tapping his fingers on the worn sole of his work boot, starting a rhythm out of the emptiness. “I felt bad as soon as I did it,” he said quietly.
“So…why did you do it?”
He pursed his lips and lowered his eyes. He continued to pick at his boot sole, drawing in a slow breath. “I guess I felt like…I had to.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why would you feel like that?”
“Because I put myself in a stupid spot,” he said quickly, looking as guilty as ever.
Leaning toward him, I grabbed his hand to stop his fingers from fidgeting. “Rigel…what did you do?”
He finally raised his head up and tucked his knees up toward his chin. “I made a deal with Merrick Buchannon.”
I felt my face slowly contorting with dread. He made a deal? With an Archon? For what? Why? My mind was processing the information faster than my mouth could even begin to form words. Merrick Buchannon? What would Rigel possibly have been dealing with him for? Surprisingly, the answer occurred to me after just a moment.
“The Alpha Red,” I muttered. “That’s where you got the airship.”
He nodded, sighing deeply again. “Yeah. That’s what I was doing in Rainier that one day…when I asked you for a ride to the city.”
“What kind of deal, Rigel?” I asked, closing my eyes and dreading the answer. If it was with Merrick Buchannon, it wasn’t going to be good.
“Seventy-five percent,” he answered dejectedly. “He gives me the ship and the gear, and I give him seventy five percent of the winnings.”
I shook my head. “And if you lose?”
“I pay him for the fuel and any repairs,” Rigel said. “If I wreck the ship, I owe him every penny that it’s worth.”
“Are you out of your mind?” I asked loudly, pushing myself up to my feet. “That’s not just a stupid spot, that’s a do-or-die spot! That ship is probably worth more tokens than you’d make in twenty years!”
“I know that!” Rigel shot back, standing up beside me. “And that’s what I’m sick of! Working myself to death every day…so I can make just enough money to have nothing! My dad got stuck in that hole, and I don’t want to follow him down! I want to be able to keep all of us out of it!”
I stepped closer to him, placing a hand on his elbow. “But Rigel, the Alpha Red isn’t a barge or a dirigible, or any of those giant things that you’re used to piloting around the docks. You don’t have that much experience in a normal ship. Why would you put all of your hopes into winning this race?”
He looked down at me, and I watched his eyes soften as he let go of his anger. “Because it’s the only way, Ellie. It’s the only way I can make a better life for myself, for you, for dad. I just wanted…some freedom.”
I had no choice but to fo
rgive him now. His reasoning for entering the race was one that I definitely identified with. I wanted freedom, too. I wanted to escape the drudgery of hoping for deliveries or shuttle jobs, of wondering whether each day was going to be the one that something went wrong. I had no money either, and with two siblings to take care of, I was one incident away from total ruin. A burned out engine, a broken arm, any random thing could spell doom for my family and me. With the winnings from the race, those days would be over, and I wanted that just like Rigel did.
Now I understood exactly why he thought he had to take the clue from me. I still didn’t like it, but I understood. He was thinking of the endgame. He was thinking of winning his freedom.
Luckily, my hair was just long enough for me to grab two handfuls as I gritted my teeth and groaned in exasperation. “Rigel, this puts me in a spot,” I said, looking up into his guilt-ridden eyes. “I was sort of planning on winning, too.”
He nodded glumly. “I know. That’s why I tried to convince you not to join the race. That’s why I didn’t want you to race Audra that day on the way to Rainier. I knew you’d get a taste for it. And I didn’t want to have to compete against you.”
“Why?” I asked. “Because you knew I’d beat you?”
I hadn’t meant it as a joke, but Rigel gave a light chuckle. “That, yes,” he admitted. “And I didn’t want to have to worry about anything happening to you.”
I felt awful for him in that moment. He was definitely stuck in a terrible position. To be fair, though, he had put himself there. He had been the one to put everything on the line…with an Archon, no less. There would be no getting out of that deal. Buchannon would get his money, or he would get Rigel.
I leaned my head back and let out a deep breath. “I can’t believe you, Rigel. Ugh…I can’t believe you did that.”
“Trust me, I know,” he replied morosely. “It wasn’t too well thought out.”
I wanted to scold him some more, to really drive it onto his head, but it sounded like he already knew how stupid it was, how foolhardy. I felt for him. I did. But I was still going to try to win the race. After all, I would have enough tokens to pay for his fuel and repairs to the Alpha Red. I had planned on taking care of Rigel, anyway. He was my best friend, after all.
The Blood Racer (The Blood Racer Trilogy Book 1) Page 18