by Kat T. Masen
Haden kisses Masen before telling me he has a meeting that is expected to turn into a dinner since it’s one of our stakeholders from London. I say goodbye to him before he disappears.
“Okay, so let me know about tonight?” Vicky reminds me.
“Thanks, Vicky, I will. I probably won’t go ahead with it, but I’ll let you know either way.”
Vicky and Clive head back to their cubicles as I make my way to the elevator. It opens, and Eloise exits.
Shit.
Stepping out of the elevator looking like a supermodel, she spots me and plasters on a fake smile. As usual, she is dressed to the nines in a perfectly pressed pantsuit with six-inch pumps. Her blonde hair is styled—yes, straight out of the salon—and her skin looks nicely tanned and extremely clear. She makes it impossible to hate anything about her. At least if she had a giant mole on her nose and a long chin, I could refer to her as a witch.
“I didn’t expect to see you here… with the baby.”
She peeks her head into the stroller and finally gets a glimpse of her soon-to-be stepson.
There, I’ve said it.
Pulling back instantly, her fake smile makes another appearance. “He’s pretty.”
Pretty? She called my son ‘pretty’? No one calls my son pretty and gets away with it.
I may have been polite to her before, but this time she has something I want, and I’m not in the mood to play nice. “Masen is a boy, so I’m not sure ‘pretty’ is the correct word.”
“Oh, you know what I mean.” She shrugs it off. “Since Haden postponed the wedding and all, my mind is all over the place. The caterer is booked for the next six months, so I’ve been running around trying to find a new one. It’s been a mess.”
“I’m sure you’ll find one.” This time it’s my turn to bring the fake smile to the table.
“We’d better. The wedding is next Saturday.”
“You’re getting married next Saturday?” I almost choke.
“Uh-huh. This is it. I told Haden no more postponing and he agreed,” she squeals. “I hope you’re free?”
“I… uh… Masen will probably cry and stuff.”
Did I just say that? Excuse me while my heart throws itself onto the ground so it can continue to be stomped on, along with any self-respect and dignity I have left.
“Well, that’s another thing. We’d really like it if Haden’s mom can push the baby down the aisle. Actually, I bought this little outfit for him, and my mom decorated my old carriage with lace and flowers.”
She pulls out her phone and flicks through photographs while I continue to stand here, shell-shocked.
The wedding is still going to happen, and everything Haden said was nothing but empty promises.
Lies, to be exact.
And just at that moment, the realization that maybe I’m living in denial in this sick and twisted game is like a sword piercing my heart, continually stabbing me until I am out of breath. My hands have clasped onto the handle of the stroller, and all I can see is my knuckles turning stark white. My breaths are few and far between, and all the while, the echoes of Eloise’s laugh taunt me, naming me a fool.
“Oh! Here it is!” She places the phone in front of me, and I push it away, unable to control the fueling rage inside of me.
“He’s my son,” I grit. “I don’t care what you do. But don’t you dare expect to have my son attend your wedding.”
“Presley, I—”
“I don’t want to hear it!” I raise my palm to block her from saying another word. “You don’t care about Masen. You didn’t even have the decency to come see him.”
“I sent you flowers,” she answers defensively.
“Oh!” I laugh sarcastically. “I didn’t realize flowers were the same as meeting your future stepson.”
She remains still, her face in complete and utter shock at my outburst. And I’m just getting started.
“I don’t know why the two of you are getting married. But know this… my son will not be a part of your lives. If I have to move hell and earth to make that happen, I will!”
I push past her, and thankfully, the elevator opens on cue. The second I’m inside, I repeatedly tap the close button until her wretched face disappears, allowing my tears to fall freely. With clouded vision, I take out my phone and send two texts—one to Vicky confirming that tonight is still on and one to Jason, letting him know I’m excited about dinner.
I have no clue what I’m doing. And that’s the thing about broken hearts—they open up a dark abyss, and all you can do is try to stop yourself from falling into that deep hole, even if that means spending the night with your ex to get over the man who never intended to steal your heart.
Twenty-Five
Vicky arrives to babysit Masen while I get ready for my dinner with Jason. It’s no coincidence that I choose to wear my short black dress that fits even nicer than before with my new, full bust. I accessorize it with a ruby-red necklace, my hoop earrings, and those red pumps that the Jerk drooled over. They also happen to be Jason’s favorite piece on me.
“You look too hot. MILF type of hot. The girls are totally out for show. Unless, of course, they’re out on purpose.”
“It’s nice to dress up.”
“Pres, what’s going on?”
I grab my purse off the nightstand and kiss Masen on the forehead.
“Nothing. I’m having dinner with a friend. That’s it.”
“Okay, but we need some sort of code in case you want to come back and get laid.”
“It’s not like that. I’m going. Please call me if Masen won’t settle,” I gently remind her.
She simply smiles, and I also kiss her on the forehead before heading out to my dinner date with Jason.
Sitting close to Jason makes me realize how much I’ve missed him. Everything about him is so familiar and comfortable. Everything about him is drama-free.
He takes a sip of his red wine, and I can’t help but stare at him. He has aged just a bit, and his hair is now a salt and pepper color that reflects his maturity. His eyes still do that thing to me, calming the storm brewing in my head. With his hands resting on the edge of the table, I remember how many times I’ve kissed his fingertips, how many times his fingers have trailed my body—all the things I haven’t experienced with the Jerk.
“So, tell me, how did this happen?” he asks.
I swirl the glass of wine, taking small sips so as not to get too intoxicated. I cleverly pumped enough milk to last a lifetime, so I know I can have a glass and express my alcohol-infused milk down the drain. I start from the beginning, leaving out the whole ‘it happened in the alleyway’ part. No need for graphic details.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Honestly? At the time, I was ashamed. I was so careless. You know me, I’m one to stick to a plan. This was a shock to me. I had no choice but to accept the reality of the situation.”
“And now?”
“It’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Masen is my life,” I answer honestly, smiling at him.
Behind the glass he is holding to his lips, he hides his sly smile.
“Why are you smiling that way?”
He takes another drink and motions for the waiter to bring him another. “Because motherhood suits you.”
“I seem to be hearing that a lot.”
“So, you’re not with the guy… Henry…”
“Haden,” I correct him.
“Whatever.”
“No, Haden is engaged, and it’s really complicated.”
I desperately want to tell him the full story, but I’m scared he will convince me never to speak to the Jerk again. It’s not such a bad idea after what happened with Eloise, but it’s not just about my feelings anymore. It’s about Masen and what he deserves.
“Well, he sounds like a jerk.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Yeah, what can you do?”
“You find yourself a real man, Pres. A man who’s willing to giv
e you everything.” His eyes twinkle as they stare directly into mine. Moving his hand toward my side of the table, he plays with the ring sitting on my middle finger. My chest is pumping, but it’s not all because of this intimate moment. It’s the guilt I feel for sitting here with Jason when my heart belongs elsewhere.
And I hate admitting that.
The food arrives, and we eat in silence. My appetite is nonexistent, and with each bite, I’m swallowing a tablespoon of guilt.
“What did we do, Pres? We had it all, you know?”
“Did we, Jase? We were happy, but I don’t know… it’s like we got cold feet way too early.”
“This could have been us. We could have had a child together,” he says in a low voice.
“I guess so.”
The question makes me think. Even if I could go back in time, would I make Jason the father of my child? It would’ve been so easy and a stroll in the park. But everything that Masen is lies in his DNA. He has Haden’s blood running through his veins, and truth be told, I wouldn’t change that for the world.
“There’s always the future, Pres. It’s not a closed book between us.”
“I miss you,” I blurt out, not intending for it to come out the way it does.
“I miss you, too.”
“It was so easy, what we had,” I confess. “Life is so complicated now. I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”
“But is easy wrong?”
“No, it’s drama-free, and all I’ve been doing for nine months is living in a world of drama.”
Jason presses his palm against mine and leans forward. With only the glow of the candlelight between us, my body moves in, bringing us close together.
“We both were searching for something else, Presley. But we already had it all,” he concedes. “Now we’ve had that time apart, I’ve realized no woman can compare to you. Sure, you have your quirks, but Presley, I want my life with you.”
He said all the words I wanted a certain someone else to express. He’s offering me everything we had on a silver platter with a nice red bow to complete the package—an easy life filled with love and happy memories.
“Jason, I have a son. My life is about him now, and he’s not yours.”
“I know that, but you know I was raised by Jeff, and he was a great stepfather. I’m not here to replace his father. I’m offering you a life, Presley. A life with me.”
I lower my head and stare at the tablecloth. With his hands still touching mine, his offer appears too good to pass up. But I’m angry at the Jerk. Livid, in fact, and to make an important decision like this, I need a clear head.
I tell him I need time to think, and on cue, the alarm goes off, warning me that I have to return to Masen. I kindly tell Jason I need to go, and being the true gentleman he is, he offers to walk me back to my apartment.
It’s a cool night with a heavy breeze, and just as my body shivers, he removes his jacket and places it over my shoulders. We talk about our families as we walk back home, reminiscing about the good old days and our joint family vacations.
“It was really good seeing you, Jase.”
He leans in closer and kisses me on the lips. Suddenly, the guilt washes over me and I pull away, wiping my lips without even thinking. He looks taken aback by my ability to pull away, let alone wipe his kiss from my lips, but he doesn’t comment on it.
With trepidation, he asks, “Can I come in?”
I open the door and notice the apartment is quiet. With only the hall lamp turned on, I assume Vicky is with Masen in my room. I motion for Jason to follow me, and he does until we reach the bedroom door. When I open the door, I almost fall back into Jason’s body at the sight of Haden sitting on my bed, shirtless and holding Masen.
“I… uh… where’s Vicky?”
“Nice to see you, Presley. Vicky had an emergency, and since Masen is my son, I thought I’d stay over and spend some time with him.” His voice is dripping with sarcasm, and behind his frames, his eyes are fueled with fire and rage.
“Okay… Jason, this is Haden, Masen’s dad,” I introduce slowly, preparing myself for the biggest shit-storm to rock this universe.
“Nice to meet you.” Jason nods.
Haden is trying to hide his anger, but his outburst is imminent. “So, is there a reason why you went out and abandoned our son?”
Bingo. Typical Jerk saying his jerk-like things instead of communicating in a mature and adult way.
Another reminder of why Jason is a better fit for me than Haden could ever be.
“I’m going to walk Jason out,” I grit.
I turn around and grab Jason’s hand on purpose, guiding him to outside the apartment while I try to calm myself down.
Outside in the hall, he shakes his head. “A young jerk.”
“Jason…”
“You want a real man, Pres? You know where to find me. And I’m serious about what I’m offering.”
“I know, Jason. It’s just… I love him.”
I said it, the words that have taunted me for the longest time. It’s both a relief and a burden to finally say it out loud. My lip begins to tremble as Jason glances at me with a sympathetic smile. He wraps me in his arms for a final goodbye, and my body comfortably rests against his as I struggle to hold back the tears. This new, emotional Presley is getting on my nerves. I have never cried so much in my life as I have over the past year.
Cupping my face in his hands, he wipes the tears away with the tip of his thumb. “I’m always here, Pres. Even as a friend. No, I don’t want just that, but we’ve got too much history to let go of everything we had, including our friendship. You know where I am… I’m always here.”
And that’s the thing about Jason. Once he steps into your life, there is no turning back. He may not be the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, or the man my heart so desperately beats for, but he will forever be a friend I can count on. And good friends like him are hard to come by.
With Jason gone, I have no choice but to face the music, and with every step back toward my room, my anger intensifies. I walk in, and Masen is sound asleep in his cot. Haden is still sitting on my bed, half-dressed. He is fidgeting with his phone, and the second he senses I’m in the room, his eyes lock with mine and glower back at me. With his lips pursed and his nostrils flaring, he throws his phone to the side, crossing his arms as he waits for me to talk.
“Get some clothes on,” I bark.
“Tell me why you went out with him!”
“None of your business. Now, will you just go?”
Why didn’t Vicky warn me he was here? My phone is inside my purse. I pull it out and see that the screen is covered with a dozen messages, all from Vicky. I don’t have time to read them now, and I storm off into my closet to take off my shoes. He is in there so fast, blocking the entrance by resting his body against the archway.
“Did he touch you?”
“I don’t have to answer that.”
“Did. He. Touch. You?” Haden yells, slamming his fist against the drywall.
I swiftly turn around. “Yes. Yes, he did. Get off your jealousy horse because I don’t belong to you. You’re full of shit, Haden. You don’t care about me or else you wouldn’t be marrying Eloise.”
“And everything I said meant nothing to you? I told you no one was to touch you but me.” He follows with a sinister laugh, shaking his head as he continues to block the exit. His body is exposed, and it becomes an unnecessary distraction.
From the corner of my eye, I can see his knuckles are stark white from clenching his fist so tightly. I have never seen him this enraged, and it scares me a little. But then I remember my conversation with Eloise yesterday, and I quickly change back to infuriated and bitter Presley.
“See, Malone, all along this is what I was afraid of. You’re running back to the love of your life.”
“I didn’t run, Haden. I was standing still. Waiting for you. You’re the one who broke me.”
“You want to know
why I proposed to Eloise?”
“Enlighten me, Haden.” I stand here, arms crossed, waiting for his pathetic excuse.
“Because I never felt good enough for you. I was never the man you wanted in your life. Eloise wanted me, but to you, I was nothing, and you went out of your way to constantly remind me of that. I’m a mistake, as you so often say. So, I’ll tell you what. You want to move to California with Jason? Then fucking do it! We were never going to work anyway.”
He moves away from the closet and back into the other room, grabbing his shirt.
There are no slamming doors.
No more sounds.
He is gone.
And I pushed him.
Or, maybe, he pushed himself.
It doesn’t matter because his words cut deep, and just like he said, we are never going to work, anyway.
I grab my phone and make the call.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“What’s wrong? Isn’t it like midnight there?”
“Yes. I’ve decided to move to California. Is it still okay if I stay with you guys?”
“Of course,” Gemma replies in a worried tone. “Pres, what happened? You sound… weird.”
She’s my sister. She knows me well, and nothing ever gets past her. She’s seen me at my worst. I begin to sob into the phone, making no sense with my words.
“I can’t be around him anymore, Gem. It’s just too hard. I love him.”
“I know,” she soothes. “But he’s Masen’s dad. He’s always going to be around. And you’re just figuring out now that you love him?”
“No, Gemma. I knew all along. I just kept denying the truth. He can still see Masen. I know a lot of parents who meet at a shopping center and someone else does the handover.”
“Is that what you really want?”
I know I’m not thinking straight. I’m hurt. And when you’re hurt, rational decisions are hard to make. Instead, you follow the broken path, praying that it will lead to some magical rainbow with unicorns galloping around it and baskets of cupcakes and chocolate.