Fashionably Dead and Wed Book 7

by Robyn Peterman

  “This has to be dark magic,” I hissed to no one, since I was virtually alone with my soon to be incinerated family. “I have dark magic. Where in the fuck did it go?”

  Closing my eyes I tried to center myself, but my panic won. I wasn’t proud and I didn’t have a hero complex. I couldn’t handle this. I needed someone who could reverse dark magic. Now.

  “Satan, come to me,” I screamed.

  I sprinted around the firewall to find on opening. If I could get inside I could pull Samuel to safety. Ethan wasn’t engulfed yet. There was no opening. I tried running through it only to be thrown across the room with more power than I’d ever experienced. What was doing this?

  “You rang?” Satan said, appearing in a cloud of glittering black smoke.

  “Help me,” I gasped as I ran at the firewall in another attempt to get in. “Samuel is inside and he’s on fire. Reverse the magic,” I screamed.

  “I can’t,” Satan said, watching the flames with great interest. “And neither can you.”

  “Bullshit,” I grunted, as I slammed up against the wall only to be blasted across the room once more.

  Satan’s delighted laugh made me want to kill him dead where he stood, but I didn’t have the time and I couldn’t spare the energy. An acrid green smoke now billowed out of the center of the fire and obscured my view of Ethan. My world was ending in front of my eyes and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

  “I hate you,” I snarled at the Devil and slammed at him with my fists. “You could help me and you won’t.”

  “Astrid,” he hissed as his eyes turned red with displeasure at my disrespect. “If you had a brain in your head, you wouldn’t ask me to stop this.”

  “What the Hell are you talking about? They’re dying.”

  “Quite the opposite,” he replied, circling the firewall—examining it with awestruck appreciation. “I had no idea he’d be capable of something so powerful at his age.”

  “Explain,” I insisted wildly as I continued to look for a way in.

  “Samuel is doing this,” Satan said.

  His words stopped me in my tracks.

  “He would never do anything like this,” I snapped.

  Satan made himself comfortable on the couch and watched the fire with the excitement of a child on his birthday. “Do you even know what he’s doing?”

  “Obviously not,” I said rudely. “It looks to me as if my child is being burned alive and my mate is next on the list.”

  “It does look like that,” Satan agreed with a nod an evil little grin. “But that’s not what’s happening.”

  “Would you care to enlighten me?” I asked, calming a bit.

  Satan was wildly taken with Samuel even though he’d deny it until his homeland froze over. The Devil would move Heaven and Hell to keep my child safe. However, watching your family burn was awful, no matter what was actually going on.

  “Samuel is saving his father,” Satan explained. “Do you see the green smoke?”

  “I do.”

  “The smoke is the remnant of a poison to immortals. Samuel is removing it from his father’s system. I can’t imagine the Vampyre Spike was able to do that. If he did, I’m impressed and shall amp his punishment up higher than it is now. The cretin was quite surprised when he woke up in Hell the other day. He’s been a very unwilling guest.”

  “Could the Dark Fairies have done this?” I asked as I finally relaxed, ignoring the quips about Spike. The bastard was exactly where he was supposed to be.

  “Hmm…” My Uncle shrugged and walked closer to the billowing smoke. “It’s possible. If they did, they’re breaking vows that will send them straight to the basement of Hell,” he said as he rubbed his hands together with glee.

  “How so?” I asked as a pit began to develop in my stomach.

  “They’re playing God,” he replied smoothly. “This kind of magic reverses immortality. A big fucking no-no.”

  “Do you think they were trying to make Ethan human?” I asked, secretly wondering if it was a residual effect from what The Kev had done. Ethan had been present and bleeding. Had he been too weak to protect himself from such an intense level of magic?

  “Doubtful, but I wouldn’t put it past them. Screwing with immortality would certainly be an interesting way to upset the balance of power. No one would accept a human Vampyre Prince.”

  “What would have happened if they’d succeeded?” I asked.

  The fire started to die down and Ethan’s body floated back to the bed.

  “Don’t really know,” Satan said. “Not one Fairy I’m aware of is powerful enough to actually accomplish it. I’d guess that the idiots that did this to Ethan have some fabulously evil little plan.”

  “They failed.”

  “Thanks to your son,” Satan pointed out. “Even if the Dark Fairies did magically put the poison in him, Ethan wouldn’t have become human. He would have simply died.”

  Little did Satan know how wrong he was.

  I was quiet for a long beat as the fire burnt itself out and my baby appeared sleeping peacefully beside my mate on a perfectly pristine bed—no sign of the apocalyptic fire that had just raged in my suite. My stomach still churned at the thought of what The Kev had done for both Mary and me. Never—even under the threat of real death would I reveal what I’d seen—not even to Ethan.

  “Are they okay?” I asked Satan, afraid to move toward my family in case they turned to ash in front of my eyes.

  But Satan was gone. Only black glitter was left where he had stood only moments ago. He’d done his job. Joyful reunions weren’t really his thing and tears of happiness gave him hives. I owed him for this, but I knew he’d never collect on this particular episode. He was a bad, bad man, but he was also good. As much as he’d despise hearing me say it—it was true.

  “Astrid,” Ethan said weakly from the bed. “I just had the strangest dream.”

  “Tell me about it, baby,” I said softly as I got into the bed with the two most important people in my life. I pressed my lips to his and closed my eyes to hold back the waterfall of tears that were trying to escape.

  “It felt so real,” he whispered hoarsely.

  “The truth is always stranger than fiction,” I said, touching both him and Samuel to prove to myself they were alive.

  “Do you want to hear it?” he asked as he wrapped his strong arm around me.

  “Does it have a happy ending?” I inquired, resting my head on his chest.

  “As long as you’re with me, it does.”

  “Then tell me your dream, my love, because I will always be with you. Always.”

  Chapter 19

  “I’ve missed you,” I said, sitting on my hands so I wouldn’t squeeze the ever-lovin’ life out of my grandfather.

  “And I’ve missed you too,” he said, as he pulled my hands free and wrapped them around his small frame.

  I tried really hard not to smoosh him, but it was tough. Grandpa was a True Immortal, so I knew I couldn’t kill him. However, he’d been injured repeatedly over the years because of his irresistible cute factor. My Grandpa Bill was a tiny thing—the size of an Oompa Loompa—and as adorable as they came. He was Satan’s father and was mated to Mother Nature. Mother Nature and Grandpa adored each other, but spent much of the time apart because they fought like cats and dogs.

  “Are you and Gigi good at the moment?” I asked with a little grin as I disengaged myself with difficulty and folded Samuel’s pajamas.

  The last time they’d been off, an ice storm occurred in Hell. Hell had literally frozen over. Satan was none too pleased, but Mother Nature was a loose Howitzer when pissed. From what I’d heard she’d asked Grandpa if he thought she looked fat… Gigi was anything but fat, but apparently Grandpa had told her to change her dress if she felt fat. Hence, the ice storm in Hell. They took a little break after that one.

  “We are wonderful,” he assured me with a chuckle. “The weather will be lovely in Hell for the wedding.”

  �
�About that,” I said, as I pushed down my inner turmoil about the whole human ceremony thing. The morning had dawned bright. Ethan was alive and my world was exactly the way it should be. It was a new day. “I was wondering…would you give me away?”

  Grandpa clasped his small hands together and let out a squeal of joy. “I would be honored, my child. Are you sure you want an old Demon giving you away?”

  He pulled out a crisp white hanky and dabbed at his eyes while the smile on his face grew wider. My heart felt light and the need to pick him up and throw him in the air like a doll almost overwhelmed me.

  “I’m quite sure,” I told him. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.”

  “Deal.” He tucked his hanky back in the pocket of his double-breasted coat and seated himself next to me on the leather couch. “Anything I should know? I’ve never done this before.”

  “Um… I don’t think so,” I said with a giggle. “I’ve never done it either.”

  “This is true. We’ll wing it. Do I get the father-daughter dance at the reception?”

  “Absolutely as long as everyone isn’t dead from eating Gigi’s cake.”

  Now we were both giggling.

  “Can you keep a secret?” he asked with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

  “I can,” I answered warily.

  Grandpa hopped up and ran over to the main door of my suite and made sure it was securely locked. He peeked under the antique chairs and tables and searched for any kind of listening device. When still unsatisfied, he waved his arms in a circular motion and enclosed us in a big orange bubble.

  “Is all this necessary?” I asked, getting uncomfortable. If he was going to tell me the secrets of the Universe, I was pretty sure I didn’t want to know. “Are you going to share something you shouldn’t tell me?”

  “Of course,” he said, testing the bubble’s elasticity with his finger. “If it was something I should tell you, I wouldn’t have to take all these precautions.”

  “Shit,” I muttered as I considered telling him to put a sock in it, but as usual, my rabid curiosity got the best of me. “Hurry up. I don’t want to get busted.”

  “Holy Hell,” Grandpa said, glancing around one more time. “Neither do I. Okay, here it is… Mother Nature has hired someone to cook for her. She is no longer inadvertently poisoning the masses with her deplorable culinary skills.”

  His eyes were huge and kept darting about to make sure we hadn’t been spotted or heard.

  “Is that it?” I asked. “That’s why we’re in a big ass orange bubble? Because Mother Nature is passing someone else’s baking as her own?”

  “Shhhhhhhhhhh,” he said, pressing his finger to my lips. “This information could mean a massive earthquake if it gets out—and I mean massive.”

  “I thought you were going to tell me the secret of life or something like that.”

  “Oh,” he said and then wrinkled his brow in thought. “I’d be happy to if you’d like to know.”

  “No. I have enough secrets to keep. I don’t have room for anymore,” I replied, snapping my fingers and releasing us from the oversized bubble.

  It fell around us like little shards of sugar spun glass and turned to piles of orange dust on the floor. It reminded me of the powder from pixie sticks and I wondered if it tasted as sweet as it looked. Shaking my head, I pulled myself back to the matter at hand.

  “Astrid, the secret of life is not a secret at all,” he said as he wiggled his nose and made the sparkly orange residue disappear. “Although many people seem to have forgotten it.”

  “What is it? Love?” I asked sarcastically.

  Grandpa paused and stared at me thoughtfully. “What’s wrong, my dear? You’re not yourself.”

  I was at a total loss for words. I thought I was hiding all of my angsty bullshit, but clearly, I was mistaken.

  “I was led to believe that Ethan was fine now,” Grandpa prompted.

  “He is,” I told him.

  “And Samuel?”

  “He’s great.”

  “Astrid,” he said, taking my hand and leading me back to my closet. “Let’s go in here. Shoes always make you feel better. I can make a bubble again if we need more privacy.”

  I grinned as he hustled me into my enormous closet full of more clothes, shoes, bags and accessories than a girl should legally have. He seated me on a stack of hard-sided Gucci suitcases and crossed his little arms over his chest.

  “Out with it.”

  “Well, um…”

  We sat in silence admiring my impressive shoe rack for a few minutes while I decided how much of the truth I was going to burden my beloved Grandpa with. He said nothing—simply waited. And waited. And waited…

  “I’m not human. I’m a Vampyre-Demon. I need to let go of my old life and join my new one. I refuse to be a cranky old immortal who hates the fact I can’t die. The longer I prolong accepting who I am, the worse it will be for me in the long run. I wouldn’t go back for anything, but I’m worried—only a little—well, maybe a lot—about not handling living forever very gracefully. Getting married is stupid and human and I’m above petty bullshit like that.” I blurted out my dirty secret so fast I almost missed it.

  “Interesting,” Grandpa said. He took my hand and examined the gorgeous pink diamond ring on my finger. “I followed most of that.”

  “What did you think of it—the part you understood?” I asked hesitantly, as I too admired my ring.

  It had been a gift from Ethan when we mated. It had belonged to Pam hundreds of years ago. Ethan had held onto it until he found me—the girl he’d been waiting for all his life. He’d offered to get me an engagement ring to go with my mating ring, but I didn’t want one. My sparkling rare pink diamond was perfect. I didn’t need anything else except him.

  “I think that you think too much.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know,” I mumbled, and then punctuated my statement with an eye roll.

  “Okay, I will,” he shot back agreeably. “Living forever is hard. I won’t lie, but everything is what you make of it. Even a human life can feel like an eternity if not well lived.”

  “That sounds way too simple,” I told him, pulling on my my hair in frustration.

  “Most truths are,” he replied.

  “So I just get married and hang on to my human side?” I demanded, desperately wanting someone to tell me what to do. Deciding things on my own sucked.

  “That my dear, is entirely up to you, but let me point out a few facts. Everything that happens in a life makes you whoever you are in the present. No experience—even bad—is wasted. If you deny your past, you deny your future. Your human side is what makes you the perfect choice for the job of Compassion. It’s very easy to let go of humanity when the days are as long as ours.”

  “I’ll never lose my humanity,” I insisted.

  “Then why would you want to forget you were human?”

  I was speechless. Was it really that simple?

  “Because, um…”

  “I’m not waiting for an answer,” Grandpa assured me with a quick kiss to my cheek. “Just wanted to leave you with a few things to think about.”

  “Well, you certainly freakin’ did,” I said.

  “Good! Then my job here is done. Why don’t we go tickle Samuel? I haven’t seen the boy in a few weeks. Being with people I love fills my soul—makes eternity far more bearable,” he said pointedly with a smile on his face.

  I nodded slowly as a grin pulled at my lips. “I think that’s an outstanding idea,” I agreed, feeling lighter and happier than I had been in days.

  My Grandpa’s True Immortal title was Wisdom.

  He sure as Hell lived up to it.

  Chapter 20

  “This is a very bad idea,” I said as I stared in mortified dismay at the long pink Hummer.

  The obnoxious limousine idled quietly in the circular driveway in front of the Cressida House. The sun had dipped below the horizon and a full golden moon bathed the man
icured lawns like magic. However, not even the lovely evening could hide an enormous pink eyesore.

  “We have to drive,” Venus insisted. “We can’t just have a bunch of hot chicks wearing Prada poof into a bar.”

  “That sounds like the beginning of a very bad joke,” I said with a groan.

  “Yep, one where we have to magically wipe the minds of all the humans in attendance,” Dixie added with a giggle. “We do have to drive. Venus is right.”