by Sky Corgan
When everyone was gone, Damien made me clean up the living room and kitchen. For as large of a crowd as it had been, they left the place relatively tidy, which I was thankful for, considering that my feet were absolutely killing me. I was never happier when Damien finally allowed me to take those bloody high heels off and get dressed.
By the time everything was done, and I was dressed, I was absolutely exhausted. I dragged myself into the living room and planted myself beside Damien, who was immersed in a book. It looked as if the party had never even happened, and for a moment I wondered if I had dreamed it. Then I saw the red dildo on the coffee table and remembered the soreness between my legs. It had definitely happened. It had happened, and I think I might have enjoyed it.
“I'm tired,” I groaned.
“You should go home and get some rest then,” he replied plainly.
Go home? That was it? No thanks for being such a good sport about everything? No appreciation for not flaking when he sprang the masturbation thing on me?
“Did I do alright?” I asked, trying to get some reaction out of him, some praise.
He glanced at me. “I'm not punishing you, am I?”
“No.” We sat in silence for a few minutes before I spoke again, “I wasn't expecting to have to masturbate in front of all of those people.”
“You did a really good job. I think everyone enjoyed your performance.”
“Warn me next time, will you? When you said I would have to demonstrate obedience, that wasn't what I had in mind.”
“What did you have in mind?” Damien gave me a quizzical look.
“I thought you were just going to make me demonstrate my submissive positions.”
“Well, that wasn't the case, obviously.”
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah. I'm just tired is all. Entertaining always wears me out.”
But you didn't do anything. You just sat there and made me serve everybody and let everyone do inappropriate things to me. That last part stung. I still felt like I had been shared. Other people had their hands on me, and what was worse was I actually liked it. Was this what our relationship was going to be like? Would it be okay for everyone else to touch me as long as Damien was around to supervise? Maybe I should invite Colton to one of these parties. That thought made me feel even guiltier, but I couldn't suppress it. What was the difference, really? His friends. My friends. If he was going to allow other people to touch me, then shouldn't I have a say in who it was too.
I could feel myself breaking down inside. The emotional walls were crumbling, and it was only a matter of time before the tears followed. Why was I so upset? I didn't know. Perhaps the party had been too much stimulation, more than I was actually prepared for despite all the practicing and psyching myself out.
“I think I'm going to head on home,” I told Damien, standing to take my leave.
He nodded and walked me to the door, opening it as if he was letting out his final guest. I turned to him, fighting back tears, hoping to catch some semblance of remorse, though it was a stupid thing to wish for. To my surprise, he embraced me, pulling me close, closer than I could ever remember him holding me before. It was desperately close, crushingly close, comfortingly close.
“Thank you, for everything you've done today,” he whispered into my hair. “It really meant a lot to me. And I'm so proud of you. Proud of the way you acted. Proud that you belong to me.”
When he finally pulled away, I could see the sincerity in his eyes. And suddenly, everything was okay again.
The Truth
The next day, normality returned to my life. I went to school, and everything seemed to be going smoothly until I ran into Colton Caldwell in Music Appreciation. It wasn't like I had forgotten about his existence, or the feelings he caused, but it was easier to ignore them when he wasn't staring me dead in the face.
I groaned internally as he smiled at me, the charm of it sending the butterflies in my stomach into a drunken confused stupor. Why did he have to be so cute and kind and perfect? Part of me hated myself for wanting him, but the other part blamed Damien for it.
As soon as class was over, Colton was flanking my side and asking if I wanted to hang out after school. I made up a lame excuse about being busy and then quickly walked away. The best thing I could do for my relationship with Damien was to ignore Colton.
He was persistent though. On Tuesday, I told him I didn't feel well. On Wednesday, I said I was going to my mother's place. On Thursday, I was visiting my aunt. By the time Friday came around, I figured he would have given up. That wasn't the case though. When I tried to rush out of class the second that it was over, he caught me by the arm, frowning.
“You're avoiding me, aren't you?” he asked.
I sighed. “No. . . Yes.”
“Why?”
“Damien doesn't want us hanging out together.”
“That's a bit overbearing, don't you think?”
“Not in the context of our relationship.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“Listen, I don't have time to explain. I need to get to my next class.”
“Then maybe you should hang out with me after school to explain.”
“I just told you that I can't.” I gave him a desperate look, hoping he'd give up.
“Then you're going to have to tell me now, because I'm not going anywhere until you do.”
I thought about yelling at him, about telling him that I didn't like him. But that would be hurtful, and it wasn't true. In honesty, I'd like to have him as a friend. He was a nice guy, and I had a shortage of good friends.
“I'll meet you at the library after school,” I said finally, pushing past him. Thankfully, he didn't follow.
By the time school was over, my stomach was a knot of nerves. I didn't know how I was going to explain my relationship with Damien to Colton, or if I should even try. It wasn't any of his business anyway. Still, I felt like I owed him an explanation for my rude behavior.
When I got to the library, Colton was waiting at a table with his face buried in a book. He smiled when our eyes met, standing up to greet me.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked.
“Go where?”
“Wherever you want. It's Friday night. We should go have fun. Maybe meet up with Tanya and Bone Head.”
I giggled. Would it still be forbidden to hang out together if Tanya was there too? It would be devious to skirt around Damien's rule, but it was Friday night, and I did want to do something besides go home and be bored.
“Let me see what she's up to,” I said, pulling out my phone to text Tanya.
She responded back almost immediately, informing me that she and Vinny were going out to eat. When I asked if Colton and I could tag along, she quickly agreed, adding a winking smiley face to the end of her text.
We took separate cars and met up with Tanya and Vinny in the restaurant parking lot before going inside. Vinny greeted Colton as if they were best buddies, giving him some weird bro-hug, while Tanya made a comment about how Colton and I looked cute together. That explained the wink in her text message. She obviously thought something was going on between us. Why else would I show up with him?
Once we were seated, we talked about our classes and our professors and what we did over Christmas vacation. Then things took a more personal turn when Tanya asked about Damien.
“We're still together,” I informed her.
“Seems like he's not cracking that whip too hard if you're spending time with Colt here,” Vinny said, giving Colton a wink.
“I'd rather not talk about that,” I grumbled uncomfortably.
“So when are we going to see this illusive professor? I heard he got fired for banging some chick in his classroom.”
“That chick he was banging was me,” I said defensively, then instantly felt embarrassed.
Everyone looked shocked.
“Oh. So it was true then?”
I nodded.
“Now that
he's not teaching at the school anymore, you should bring him out once in a while,” Tanya said. “I'd like to see how he's doing. It's a shame they fired him over that. He's a really good professor. A bit strict at times, but good.”
“I thought he was boring,” Vinny said.
“You think every professor is boring.” Tanya rolled her eyes.
“Not Professor Winslow. She's a hottie.”
The disgust on Tanya's face was apparent. “I need to go to the bathroom. Chey, come with me.”
I was more than happy to leave the two boys alone. To be honest, I hated talking about Damien. It was always awkward, and today it was even worse because Colton was around.
The bathroom was mercifully empty, which gave Tanya and I a chance to talk between stalls.
“So, there's absolutely nothing going on between you and Colton?” she asked.
“Nope. We're just friends. I mean, he's cute and all, but I have Damien.”
“How are things really going with him?” her tone made it clear she suspected something was up.
I sighed, “Being with him isn't always easy. I mean, he's great in bed and all, but he just lacks something emotionally.”
By that time, we had finished our business and were standing by the door. There was still so much I wanted to say. I felt desperate to spew everything out, but I knew we had to get back to the boys.
“You know, relationships aren't all about sex,” Tanya told me. “In the beginning, when you said that you and Damien had gotten together, I was really excited for you. But then I started thinking about you as individuals. I don't know Damien on a personal level, like you do, but I did take his class for the entire semester, so I did get to see a little of what he's like. From what I did see, you guys are complete opposites. He's not the type of guy I can picture you with long term. He's just . . . too serious and stuffy.
“Now, I'm not trying to break you guys up or anything, but Colton obviously likes you. I mean, he keeps looking at you.
“Vinny says he's a real good guy. He studies hard, has good grades, played lots of sports in high school. Not to mention he's cute and around your age. I mean, if I wasn't with Vinny, I'd tap that.
“I think the two of you look good together. If things aren't going well with Damien, then maybe you should part ways. It's not like it would be a dramatic breakup or anything. Now that he doesn't teach at our school, you never see the guy.
“Besides, don't you want a normal love life? I know Damien is ridiculously good-looking, and maybe Colton isn't as good of a catch, but doesn't it make more sense to be with the guy you have more in common with, who is around your age, and who is already integrated with your group of friends. Just saying.”
Before I had time to reply, she was opening the door and stepping back into the dining room, forcing me to follow behind, dumbfounded. Had she said all that because I seemed miserable with Damien? Did she really think Colton was a better choice for me? Was he a better choice for me?
I did find him attractive, though not as attractive as Damien. Their looks were completely different. Damien was the rugged type. He oozed confidence and looked like a rock star on most days, even when he was being lazy. Colton had boy next door looks. His smile was charming; his features were warm. He seemed like the type of guy who would cuddle you on cold nights and bring you flowers. Damien looked like he would fuck you bow-legged and leave your bed empty the next morning.
For the rest of the meal, my thoughts were consumed with who was the better choice. I hated this emotional tug and pull on my heart. While I loved Damien, I did want all the things Tanya had spoken of. It would be nice to date someone with the same interests, someone who enjoyed going out with me, someone who wasn't so uptight all the time, someone who didn't have issues expressing how he felt.
By the time we had split the bill and were parting ways, I felt stressed and emotionally frazzled. I was so out of my mind that I even hugged Vinny before I took off to my own vehicle. When Colton pulled me aside to ask if I wanted to go to the movies the following day, all I could think about were the things Tanya had told me, and my lips almost involuntarily said yes. Then he was gone, and I was sitting in the parking lot, realizing I had screwed things up even further with Damien by agreeing to go on, what was pretty much a date with Colton.
With a sigh, I started the engine and drove home, my mind a swamp of unpleasantries. As soon as I got there, I sent Damien a text to let him know I had gone out with Tanya and was going to bed early, then I took some sleeping pills just to get away from having to think about everything. Hopefully, I'd wake up refreshed the next day and better able to sort my feelings.
Saturday came, and my mind was only the slightest bit clearer. I knew I still wanted to go out with Colton. Maybe if we had a date together, it would help me decide how important that aspect of a relationship was to me.
The only problem was that I was going to have to tell Damien about it, and I knew he wouldn't like it. Surely, disobedience at this level would earn me one of his harsher punishments. My ass tingled at the memory of the spanking I had received last time I pissed him off. He managed to turn my greatest kink into the worst pain. Would he do the same thing this time? Not likely. Damien was creative. He rarely used the same punishment twice.
A little before noon, Colton called to ask what time I wanted to go to the movie. I decided to leave it up to him. The night would be more enjoyable if I didn't put restrictions on my time, even if that meant missing out on seeing Damien. While I did want to see Damien, I felt like this was more important at the moment. Besides, there was always Sunday. It wasn't like I'd have to go the entire weekend without him. And all I really had to look forward to for my disobedience was punishment.
While a small part of me hoped that Colton would want to catch an early showing, I knew I shouldn't be surprised when the three o'clock showing he picked overlapped my time with Damien. I said yes, and it was done. Now all I had to do was make the phone call.
For something like this, I didn't think a text was sufficient enough. Plus, I was kind of curious about how Damien would react. An hour before it was time for me to leave to meet Colton, I called Damien. He picked up on the second ring, his voice full of concern as he asked what was wrong.
“Nothing,” I replied, trying to keep my composure. Telling Damien that I wouldn't see him made me nervous. He wasn't prone to yelling, but for some reason, that was all I could picture in my mind. “I won't be able to come see you this afternoon,” I told him.
“Why not? Are you sick?”
“No. I'm going out tonight.”
“This is kind of short notice. You know that weekends are our only time together.”
That's your fault. I would come see you during the middle of the week if you just asked. But you don't want that, for some unexplained reason.
“I'm going out with Colton tonight.”
For several moments, he was silent, as if he didn't know what to say. Finally, he spoke, “Am I going to see you this weekend at all?”
“I'll be there on Sunday, as usual.”
He let out a sigh. “Chey, I thought I told you I don't want you seeing that boy.”
“You did. And I'm blatantly disobeying you.”
“Why?”
I took a deep breath. “Because I want to. Because I need to.”
“Know that doing this makes me very unhappy.”
“I do know. And I also know you'll punish me for it.”
“I will,” he paused. “Before I let you go, I need to know if there's anything going on between you and this boy.” His voice was disturbingly calm, which bothered me.
“No. There's nothing going on between Colton and I.” Not yet, at least. Who knows after this evening? I don't even know what to expect, or what I'll do if he does make a move on me. I just don't know.
“Alright then. Have fun.”
It wasn't until I heard the dial tone on the other line that I realized how fast my heart was racing. For as short as
it was, the conversation had been intense. There was tension in both of our voices, but yet we had both retained our composure, showing no signs of emotion toward one another.
I decided to try not to think about it. The night belonged to me, and I needed to make the most out of it if it was going to be worth the punishment that would follow. Meticulously, I tried on four different outfits before I settled on a black paneled skirt with a gray button down blouse and a pair of black ballerina flats. I straightened my long red hair and did my makeup, primping and adjusting until everything looked perfect. By the time I was done getting ready, I felt like a princess.
My effort didn't go unnoticed. When Colton and I met up at the movie theater, he immediately complimented me. It felt good to be told I was beautiful. Of course, what girl doesn't like being told she's attractive?
He paid for the movie, a fantasy flick with an entwined love story. Then we stood in line for popcorn and talked about the stuff we had done during the day, or rather, lack thereof. Colton seemed nervous, which I found absolutely adorable. He had dressed up for the occasion too, or at least looked like he had. Instead of his normal jeans and T-shirt, he was wearing a blue and white stripped polo shirt with khaki slacks. The smell of his cologne was a bit overwhelming, but the fact that he had gone all out just added to his charm.
As soon as we sat down in the theater, Colton raised the arm rest and set the popcorn between our laps. I was happy he did. The thought of having to stick my hand in his lap for popcorn brought perverted thoughts to mind. Not that I would mind giving him an imaginary hand job, but it probably wasn't the kind of distraction I needed when I was trying to sort my feelings out.
About halfway through the movie, Colton sneaked his arm around my shoulder, though he made no move to scoot closer to me. My entire body tensed from the contact, but I didn't push his arm away. Just the feel of a part of him touching a part of me made me a bit uneasy. Was that right? It was normal to be nervous when you were on a date with a boy for the first time.