He nodded slowly, a deep sadness darkening his eyes. “I understand.”
“Do you? Do you understand that I’ll never get over this—that it isn’t just some phase—or do you understand that I just need some time to come around to your way of thinking? I’m never going to want to be a part of your world.”
“I understand that you mean exactly what you say. I’m unconvinced, however, that you will always feel this way. When you live as long as we do, it’s hard to not change your mind about things.”
“I’m not willing to keep fighting with someone about this. My question to you is whether or not you think you could be the kind of man to get the hell out of my way and let me live, even if we were connected by some magical necklace.”
He was silent for so long, she was beginning to think her search was not yet over. “Okay,” he finally said. “So long as it doesn’t jeopardize your life, I could give you what you want.”
“That is kinda the point—to keep me from risking my life on a daily basis.”
“Fine, then.”
A wave of relief settled over her, but she knew it was too soon to celebrate just yet. “There’s one more thing.”
“What?”
“Not now, but soon, I think I’m going to want a baby. It doesn’t have to be yours, if that freaks you out, but I need to make sure that doesn’t change anything for you. We’re not going to be a real couple or anything, but a kid is a pretty big deal, so I thought you should know.”
A look of intense longing crossed his rough face, and she was sure he swayed on his feet a little. “It does change things. Immensely.”
Damn it. She’d been so close. She let out a heavy sigh. “Thanks anyway.”
As soon as she turned to walk away, he grabbed her arm. “You misunderstand me.”
She turned back around and looked at him, waiting for him to explain. “How?”
“For you, I’d give up my dreams of being mated to a woman willing to fight the cause to which I’ve dedicated my entire life. For a child…I’d give up much, much more.”
“Oh.” She hadn’t expected that, but it worked for her. “Okay, then. It’s settled. As soon as Iain’s luceria falls off, I’ll call you. I don’t want another session of grabby hands from all of the other men, so I’d appreciate it if you’d keep this to yourself.”
He nodded, his throat moving as if he was unable to speak.
She hated it that she wasn’t as thrilled with this idea as Cain was, but at least being abandoned by Iain made one person happy.
Jackie scolded herself for being so dramatic. Iain wasn’t abandoning her. Besides, only a couple of days ago she’d been hoping he’d free her. She was getting exactly what she wanted—or at least as close to it as her magical parentage would allow. She was supposed to be happy about this. The normal life she wanted so badly—the one she’d dreamed about for two long, terrified years—was just around the corner.
If it was what she wanted so much, then why the hell did she feel like crying?
Jackie’s phone rang, and Joseph’s name showed on the screen. She looked up at Cain. “I’ll call you soon.”
“I won’t leave the compound until I hear from you.”
She walked away, answering the call.
“Where are you?” asked Joseph.
“Right outside of your office windows. Why?”
“We need to talk.”
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“It’s not. You need to brace yourself, Jackie. It’s about as bad as it gets.”
Jackie hung up and ran through the halls to his office. Her mind filled with images of her sisters dead or injured. In those brief few seconds, she saw Helen’s body charred beyond recognition and Lexi bleeding into the ground. She didn’t bother to knock on his door, but flew inside.
Helen was there. Her face was grim, but she was alive and whole.
The momentary flicker of relief she felt was short-lived. “Is it Lexi? Is she hurt?”
“No,” said Helen, taking Jackie by the shoulders. “Lexi’s fine. I talked to her last night.”
“Then what? What’s this awful news?”
“It’s Iain,” said Joseph.
Jackie’s stomach sank, and she reached for the necklace to reassure herself it was still there, while simultaneously reaching out with her mind. Iain was there, greeting her with reassurance and comfort. “What about him? I know he’s alive. I can feel him.”
“This is so hard to say,” said Helen. “You need to sit down.”
“He’s okay,” insisted Jackie. “I told you I can feel him.” If she hadn’t been able to, she would have totally freaked out, but he was still there, in her thoughts, whispering to her that everything was going to be okay.
“His soul is dead,” said Joseph, his tone cold. “I’m taking him to the Slayers tomorrow to be executed.”
The world spun out from under her, and if Helen hadn’t caught her, she would have fallen.
Drake was there, too, easing her down into a chair. “Way to be gentle, Joseph.”
“There’s no easy way to tell her what’s going to happen, so get off my fucking back, Drake.” Joseph looked at Jackie, then lowered his voice. “I’m so sorry, Jackie. If I’d known this had happened, I wouldn’t have let you get so close to him. It’s a wonder he didn’t hurt you.”
She looked around the room. Everyone was so sober, as if he were already dead. “Of course he didn’t hurt me. What the hell are you talking about? He’d never let anything or anyone even get near me. If he told you that he hurt me, he’s lying. I’ll testify under oath, or whatever it is you people do.”
Joseph’s face was stony. “There’s nothing you can say to change what’s going to happen.”
“Like hell there isn’t. I won’t let you convict an innocent man to die.”
“You don’t understand, Jackie,” said Joseph. “There is no trial. His soul is dead. He’ll be put to death tomorrow.”
“What has he done to deserve this?”
“Didn’t you hear me? He’s soulless.”
“So fucking what?” she nearly screamed. “Who did he kill?”
“No one. Yet.”
“So you’re telling me that you’re going to execute him for something he hasn’t done yet?”
“He will hurt someone. It’s only a matter of time.”
She raised her hand toward Joseph. Electricity arced between her fingers, snapping in the air. “Yeah, well, I’m about to hurt someone, too. Are you going to kill me?”
Joseph’s jaw bunched with anger. “You have a soul. Iain doesn’t.”
“How do you even know that? From where I’m sitting, you look like the soulless bastard here.”
“He knows, Jackie,” said Helen, her voice gentle. “Iain’s lifemark is bare. He hid it with tattoos of leaves, but Serena knew him too well. She saw right through him.”
Jackie’s hand fell, the electricity dissipating with her shock and pain.
Serena had known him well enough to see he had no soul after being with him for all of five minutes, and yet Jackie had been naked and intimate with him for hours and never sensed a thing. Maybe she wasn’t as close to him as she’d fooled herself into thinking she was.
None of that mattered right now. She had to find a way to make these people see reason. “You can’t kill a man for something he might do. If we did that, then all of you would have to kill yourselves, too. It’s barbaric.”
“It’s our way,” said Joseph.
“And you wonder why I don’t want any part of your fucked-up world.” She turned to Helen. “Surely you see how insane this is.”
“I’ve seen through Drake what harm can come from letting Iain live. I have to trust that they know what they’re doing. They’ve been dealing with this for thousands of years. If this is the safest way, then we should accept that.”
“You all are fucking nuts. I want to see him.”
“No,” said Joseph. “He could hurt you.”
With a thought and more force than was probably necessary, she used a slab of air to slam him back into a wall. The swords mounted behind him tumbled to the ground and papers swirled everywhere. “I can protect myself. Now where the hell is he?”
“Let her see him, Joseph,” said Helen. “Iain’s lies are over. He’s not going to try to hide anymore. She’ll see him as he really is now.”
“Fine,” Joseph gritted out between clenched teeth. “But I’m not letting you go alone. Helen, Drake, you go with her.”
Jackie released the air holding him up, and he caught himself as he fell.
She didn’t bother to thank him. She was not about to thank the man who wanted to kill Iain.
Cain hurried through the halls toward Tynan’s suite. He pounded on the door with the side of his fist. “Open up.”
Tynan cracked the door open, scowling at Cain. “The sun has not completely set. Go away until it does.”
Cain couldn’t wait, and he didn’t have time for the scheming maneuverings that would gain him entrance. He needed this done. Now.
He shoved the door open. Tynan backed up, unable to stop him from barreling in.
“What is so important?” asked Tynan, his words clipped with irritation.
“I need the serum.”
Tynan frowned, the wrinkles marring his pretty face. “You found a woman?”
Cain was shaking from the inside out. He still couldn’t believe what Jackie had offered him.
Well, technically, she hadn’t offered. She’d told him. She wanted a child. She hadn’t said she wanted it to be his, but he wasn’t taking any chances. If he got the opportunity to have a child of his own, he was taking it. And her.
“Will you give it to me?” he asked, unwilling to tell Tynan about Jackie, for fear that if he said it out loud, he’d jinx it and she’d change her mind.
Tynan stared at him for a long time, his pale, icy blue eyes steady in their scrutiny. “You seem desperate.”
“If someone had offered you the chance for a child of your own, how would you feel?”
The Sanguinar nodded and left the room for a moment. When he returned, he held a syringe in his hand. “This comes with a price.”
“Of course it does. I expected no less. What do you want?”
“Blood. And a peacebinding.”
Cain instantly rebelled at the thought. If Tynan subjected him to a peacebinding, then he’d never again be able to hurt the man—even if they were to become enemies.
The syringe glinted under the overhead lights of Tynan’s suite, glowing with promise. Held inside that small vessel was the potential answer to his prayers. All he had to do was make a deal with the devil.
Jackie wanted a child. She’d have one with or without his involvement.
There was really no question. Losing Sibyl was killing him—literally. He couldn’t help but reach out and grasp this opportunity, no matter the cost.
“Done,” said Cain.
Tynan smiled and bared his fangs.
Chapter 23
As soon as the sun went down, Ronan rose from his sleep. He’d taken refuge in the basement of a Gerai house, locking himself inside, away from the sun.
He was anxious to continue his hunt for the blooded woman. Last night’s hunt had brought him to this area, but the trail the scent of her blood left behind had grown cold. He didn’t even know if she was still nearby, or if he was suffering from a case of wishful thinking.
Hunger twisted in his guts, driving him upstairs.
He smelled the presence of another person before he saw her. Light perfume or perhaps the soap on her clothing mingled with the scent of human woman. He found her in the kitchen, reaching into a sack of groceries.
She froze, her dark eyes widening with surprise.
“I won’t hurt you,” he told her.
She was in her fifties, he guessed, with a plump figure and kind, brown eyes. She covered her heart with her hands and breathed out a sigh of relief. “You surprised me.”
On one hand was a wedding band, and on the other was the silver ring of the Gerai—a smooth band with a single leaf etched into the metal. Ronan glided forward and extended his hand to shake hers.
The ring of the Gerai vibrated against his skin, validating its authenticity. This woman was one of the rare humans who possessed enough Athanasian blood to be a true Gerai—a human who aided in the war against the Synestryn.
“I’m Ronan. I’m sorry I scared you.”
“It’s okay.” A dark blush colored her cheeks as she stared, but he was used to that. His kind was beautiful, and even the humans he’d known for years had a tendency to let their gaze linger a bit too long.
He released her hand and stepped back. The predator in him was urging him to pounce, to drink her blood and sate his hunger. Instead, he lifted another sack of groceries onto the table and began removing items from the bag.
“I’m not used to running into anyone here,” she told him.
“I was hunting in this area and needed to take shelter from the sun.”
“Are you hungry? I could fix you something to eat.”
His hands froze in the act of removing a can of peas.
She stammered, hurrying to correct herself. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. You probably don’t want real food at all.”
Her innocent offer made his hunger grow, drowning out all other sensations. “I eat,” he said, hoping to calm her. “Real food, that is.”
She caught his gaze and was trapped. He hadn’t planned to feed from this woman, but she was here, and he was starving.
He let a small stream of his dwindling power slide out of him to wrap around her. Her eyelids drooped and her body slumped slightly as she relaxed.
“But what I need right now is blood. You want to give that to me, don’t you?”
His prey nodded.
Ronan kicked the refrigerator shut and lifted her into his arms. The couch was nearby and perfect for his needs. He let her head fall back, exposing her throat. “Do you want to remember what I’m going to do to you?” he asked.
“No,” she whispered. “My husband…”
That was for the best. The poor dear probably felt some kind of attraction to him and thought it was a betrayal of her vows. It wasn’t. She couldn’t help her reaction to him any more than he could help his reaction to her. He needed her blood, her power.
Ronan made quick work of his meal, drinking until she was hovering on the edge of losing too much blood. Her power slid into him, easing the ravenous hunger enough to allow him to concentrate.
He erased all memory of his presence and filled her with the compulsion to rest and hydrate before getting back behind the wheel of her car. No marks remained to show what he’d done, and he left her napping on the couch.
Before he left, he finished putting away the perishable groceries and set a glass of water on the table beside her. With his conscience eased, he backed his van out of the garage and drove off with the windows down, hoping for some hint of the trail that had gone cold.
For the first time, Iain knew exactly how his monster felt, being caged and trapped, impotent to act.
He clutched at the bars of the cell, pulling and pushing against them for some sign of weakness. There was no window here. The walls were concrete, and several feet belowground. And while he knew letting himself be taken into custody was the right thing, he was regretting it now.
Jackie was hurting. He could feel her shock and anger pouring through their link. Denial overshadowed her grief, making him wonder if she had yet accepted his fate the way he had.
He needed to be with her, to tell her that everything was going to be okay. Reaching out to her through the luceria wasn’t enough. He wanted to see her face and know that she believed what he said. There was no way he could go to his death in peace if he knew she was left behind, confused and hurting.
The lock at the main entrance to the detention cell buzzed open. Iain strained to see who it was, but the angle wa
s too sharp. “Who’s there?”
“It’s me,” said Jackie, her voice washing over him like warm, clean water.
He let out a long breath and reached out through the bars for her.
“Hands to yourself,” said a man. Then a second later, Drake walked into sight. “I’m here to make sure things stay nice and civil. Do you understand? If I see any sign of danger, I’m dragging her out of here.”
Iain nodded and stepped back. He was going to be a good little boy if that’s what it took to see Jackie again before he died. Besides, the idea of Drake touching her made his monster want to come out and play.
Jackie came into sight, so fucking pretty it took his breath away. Her gray eyes were shiny with unshed tears, and she chewed on her bottom lip in anxiety.
“Is it true?” she asked, inching closer. “What they said about your soul?”
His gaze dropped to the ground in shame and he nodded. “I couldn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”
“But you don’t seem…evil.”
“I hide it. Control myself. But it’s there, lurking inside of me, growing stronger every day.”
“That’s what I saw, wasn’t it? When we were…together.”
He still couldn’t look her in the eye. “I didn’t want this for you. That’s why I wanted you to choose another man. I knew I’d never be whole.”
“And why the luceria won’t fall off. Because you’ll never be as good as new.”
Her fingers slipped between the bars, so delicate and beautiful. He remembered just how they could make him feel, and he wanted her touch again so badly it nearly drove him mad resisting the need to step forward so she could reach him.
“That’s not safe,” said Drake. “Don’t make me force you to leave.”
Her head snapped around to glare at him. “Try and see how well that goes.”
Helen’s voice came from out of sight, but nearby. “He’s only trying to protect you.”
“Just leave us alone for a minute, will you? We deserve some fucking privacy.”
Dying Wish: A Novel of the Sentinel Wars Page 27