Iain was unable to resist her need. He was powerless, unwilling to let her suffer, unable to hold back anything she wanted.
But he couldn’t let the monster free. Not this time. Not when it knew that he was planning to go to his death tonight. If the beast broke free, it would protect itself, and Iain might never be able to regain control. Whatever it took, whatever he had to do to control the monster, he’d do. For her. One last time.
Iain shifted his control, aiming every bit of effort toward keeping the monster caged. There was none left for him, none left to keep him from giving in to his baser urges.
He kissed her back, slanting his mouth over hers, tasting her. Her fingernails bit into his scalp, lighting his nerve endings on fire. His cock swelled until he was sure he’d go insane with the need to shove inside her.
Her clothes had to go. He needed her naked.
Iain tried to unbutton her jeans, but his hands were shaking too hard. He couldn’t seem to get the damn button out of the hole.
Jackie swept his hands aside and did the job for him. She stripped out of her clothes in a heartbeat, her gaze fixed on his, smoldering with desire. Her eyes had darkened to a deep gunmetal gray, and a flush was already spreading down her throat onto her chest.
The luceria glowed against her skin, and for a split second, he thought the scars lining her neck had faded. Not that it mattered. Scars or not, she was the most fucking beautiful woman he’d ever touched.
Her body quivered in anticipation as she stood there, her perfect breasts rising and falling with each rapid breath. Iain fumbled to rip his boots off, unwilling to look away from her.
The curve of her waist and flare of her hips drove him mad with the need to touch. The slim length of her legs reminded him of just how good they’d felt wrapped around his hips, and her rosy lips brought back every intoxicating second of his cock sliding in and out of her mouth.
As soon as he was free of his clothes, he reached for her. She crashed into his arms, her mouth landing on his in a kiss that stole his breath. The heat of her bare skin rubbing against his cock made the monster howl in frustration. It wanted to fill her, to take what it wanted without care for her pleasure.
Like hell Iain was going to let that happen.
He wrapped her up in his arms and lifted her onto the nearby counter, so he could reach her mouth easier. She hooked her ankles around his thighs and jerked him close, melding their bodies together from groin to chest.
Her tight nipples poked his chest. The slick folds of her pussy slid along his cock, making it pulse and throb for deeper contact. He needed to be inside her so bad he wasn’t sure he’d survive the wait.
“No waiting,” she breathed against his mouth.
Her fingers wrapped around his cock, and she lifted her body up, aligning them. Wetness welled from his erection, making the contact even slicker. As wide as he was, she was ready for him and he inched in nice and easy, driving a gasp from her lungs.
He was bathed in her heat, surrounded by her scent. Her feelings mingled with his, amplifying them.
The monster screamed for Iain to shove himself all the way in. To make her take it, make her like it.
If Iain didn’t start moving, he was going to lose the battle with his beast and set it free. So he moved. He pulled back and surged forward, burying another few inches of himself inside of her. The slick glide against his skin made his body tighten as he fought to stay in control.
“More,” she ordered, clawing at his scalp, wriggling her hips in an effort to lodge him deeper.
She wanted more. The beast wanted more. Iain certainly had it to give.
He lifted her from the counter with the goal of getting her to a nice, soft bed. He made it only three steps when she blasted him with an image of him fucking her against the wall.
His balls tightened, and he nearly came right there, feeling so much lust radiating out of her. She wanted this. She wanted this as much as he did, though he wasn’t sure how that was possible.
Iain shoved her back to the kitchen wall, propping her up right between the telephone and a framed landscape painting. His leg hit a kitchen chair, sending it flying into the table. Something crashed to the floor, but he didn’t give a fuck what it was.
Her breath came out in a rush, but he couldn’t tell if it was because he’d been too rough, or because the act had completely buried his cock inside her. All he knew was her eyes fluttered closed in satisfaction, and her head fell back, displaying her neck.
Iain lowered his mouth to kiss her, lifting her body to make her ride his cock. Soft sounds slipped from her mouth, and her fingers dug into his shoulders.
He kept moving, filling her up with every dragging thrust. Her pussy fluttered around him, and her breathing sped. Then it stopped as she held her breath.
Her legs tightened around his hips a split second before her inner muscles clenched around him and she let out a long, high cry of release.
Iain rode her through it, keeping up the pace that made her tremble around him. He soaked up her cries and held back his own orgasm through a sheer force of will.
The monster roared in fury, and rattled the bars to be set free so it could take over.
As the rush of her climax passed, her body went limp, her arms draping over his shoulders, her head resting against his.
He wasn’t done with her yet. He needed more from her—enough to fill the gaping void inside of him, enough to quiet the raging monster. There wasn’t much time left for him, and he wanted to spend every second he could making Jackie scream in pleasure.
A bed was too far away. The couch was much closer. He carried her to it, held her close, and eased her back. The angle of his penetration shifted, and she arched her back, letting out a breathy moan.
He could feel what she felt. Their link was wide open, and the cascading pleasure seeping into her cells, making her limp and boneless, was his as well. The slide of skin on skin, the slick heat of their joined bodies. The heavy pound of his heart and the faster cadence of hers. He saw himself through her eyes, his own body compelling in this new light. Superimposed on that was the sight of her, spread out beneath him, her skin flushed, her body quivering with growing need.
It hit Iain that this was what it was supposed to be like. This was what his life should have been—joined to someone so tightly that it became hard to distinguish where one of them stopped and the other began.
It would have been easy to mourn what he was going to miss out on, but he couldn’t stand to spend what time he had left grieving. He wanted to live. To love.
He couldn’t love her. He was incapable of such things, no matter how much he wished otherwise. There was no room for love in a dead soul, so all he could offer her now was purely physical.
It would have to be enough.
Iain lifted her hips and thrust hard, angling himself in a way that made lightning shoot from her clit to her womb. He could feel the sensation flowing through her, rising between them, as easily as he could feel the slick glide of her body as his cock surged deep.
Her breasts ached, so he fondled and kissed them, suckling her nipples hard, just the way she liked it. The peak stood out, wet and red from his efforts as he moved to lavish attention on her other breast. His own body coiled tight, his muscles clenching and releasing as he pushed them both higher.
She was right there with him, her hips moving in time with his, her fingernails biting into his ass as she demanded a harder, faster pace.
The monster grew stronger, louder. Iain wasn’t going to be able to keep it at bay for much longer. He didn’t want to share this with the beast. Jackie was his. All his. No one else, nothing else, could have her.
It was time to make her come, time to let himself go and give in before it was too late.
Iain reached for her thoughts, needing to be as close to her as he could get. She liked it that he was nearly out of control. The idea that she could drive him to such abandon made her feel powerful and beautiful.
He wanted that for her. He wanted her to always be happy and know how precious she truly was.
He gathered up his desire, his need to make her happy, and put it on bright display, highlighted by his own ragged lust. She made a sweet noise, high and breathless. He recognized it from the last times he’d made her come. She was close, perched on the edge, trusting him to catch her as she fell.
That trust was Iain’s undoing. Even as deep inside his thoughts as she was, even with the brutal face of the beast on display, she still trusted him to stay in command and keep her safe.
He wouldn’t let her down, not in this, and not in seeing to her future.
Iain covered her parted lips with his and thrust his tongue into her mouth in time with the steady pace of his cock. She drank down his groan of pleasure, and held on tight as his orgasm slammed into him, rocking him to his core.
The first jet of semen made her body clench as she followed him into orgasm. Pleasure filled him, surrounded him, bursting from every pore, driving away every thought but the pulsing, radiant joy that wrung every drop of seed from his body.
Jackie trembled around him, holding him close and panting. A tremor shook her frame, and he lifted his head to make sure she was okay. Tears pooled in her eyes, but all he felt coming from her through the luceria was a gentle mix of happiness and satisfaction.
He couldn’t stand the sight of her tears, happy or not. He cradled her head to his chest and stroked her hair, hoping the tears would pass.
His muscles felt wrung out and loose, but he was filled with a boundless energy, as if he could fight for days without stopping. Even his monster was soothed to sleep.
As his breathing slowed and his skin cooled, he committed every detail of this moment to memory. The smell of her skin, the sound of her heart, the feel of her arms wrapped around him, and the taste of her lips on his. This was the moment he would take into combat with him. This was the image he’d cling to as death came.
This shimmering moment of peace would ease him from this life. It would comfort him and appease the beast so that he could do the right thing. The honorable thing.
Jackie would be free to find joy with another man—one who was capable of loving her the way she deserved. And that thought made him as happy as his dead soul would allow.
Iain heard a car pull up outside.
He grudgingly moved away from her body. “Cain is here.”
The contented look on her face merged into a steady, accusing stare. Rippling currents of betrayal filled their link. “Cain? You called him, didn’t you?”
“Someone has to protect you once I’m gone.”
She rose from the couch, her skin flushed. He felt the very moment that the veil he’d laid over her thoughts of his impending death lifted. Grief stabbed through their link, and she swayed on her feet. “I risked my ass to rescue you, and this is how you repay me? Calling another man to babysit me so you could go off and kill yourself?”
Cain was going to be walking through that door in a second, and she was standing there gloriously naked, still glowing with the remnants of pleasure. Iain couldn’t stand the thought of the other man seeing her like this. She was his, at least for a few more minutes. Sharing her was not something he could tolerate.
The beast stirred, a possessive growl rumbling from its chest.
“There is no other way.” Iain jerked a knit throw off the back of the couch and wrapped it around her just as Cain walked in.
His gaze swept through the room, taking in the sight in seconds. He lingered over the clothing on the kitchen floor, the broken plate, toppled furniture, and the slight indentation in the drywall.
His color deepened to an angry red, and his fists tightened at his sides. He swallowed. Once. Twice. “Get dressed. Fast. We have a situation.”
He said nothing else, just turned and walked right back out, shutting the door behind him.
Iain had no idea what the situation was, but he knew he wasn’t going to like it.
Chapter 27
Jackie was writhing with anger, so furious at Iain she could barely drag her clothes on. Her hands shook, and a sour knot had formed in the pit of her stomach.
He’d called Cain so he could kill himself, so she wouldn’t chase after him like some kind of lovesick puppy.
After all they’d been through, after all they’d shared, he was just going to throw it all away because of some stupid custom.
She stomped out of the bathroom, to find Iain and Cain in a heated discussion. As soon as Iain saw her, their conversation immediately died off.
“Don’t stop on my account. Anything you’re going to say I can just rip from your mind if I want.”
Iain’s gaze moved up and down her body. His expression tightened, but she could feel a single throb of desire spill into her through the luceria.
As if he hadn’t just finished making them both come so hard she nearly chipped a tooth.
“What’s going on?” she demanded.
“Nicholas sent out word that a child has been abducted. It’s Autumn Mason.”
The breath left her body and all hints of anger fled in the face of her fear for the girl. Her legs wobbled, and before she could reach for the couch, Iain was beside her, easing her down onto the soft cushions. “She can’t be gone. They moved her somewhere safe. Joseph said so.”
“It wasn’t safe enough,” said Cain, his deep voice rough with concern. “Demons were sniffing around her in Chicago. They were on their way to Dabyr when she was taken. But we’ll find her. Andra is already on the trail.”
The way he said it told her he wasn’t convinced.
“Cain and I are going to step outside,” said Iain. “Stay here until he comes for you.”
Cain held up his hands and took a long step back. “Like hell. I’m not doing it.”
“You have to,” said Iain.
Jackie looked between them, unable to figure out what was going on. There was some kind of tension there, but she had no idea why. Unless it was because Cain walked in on them. “He has to do what?”
Iain’s gaze slid away, and she felt a twitch of guilt come through.
“He wants me to kill him,” said Cain.
Jackie suffered through a malignant wave of revulsion that rocked her back on her heels. “Don’t you dare,” she breathed.
“I won’t. Not only do I not have the stomach for it—you and I have an agreement. There’s no way I’d ask you to be with me after I killed the man you’ve clearly come to…care for.”
“We had sex,” said Iain. “It doesn’t mean she feels anything more for me than a momentary dose of lust.”
His comment hurt, though she had no idea why it should. She knew what he was planning, and now that she was no longer crazed with desire, she could think straight enough to see that at best he’d been distracting her from trying to talk him out of dying, or at worst using her to pass the time until dark when he could go kill himself.
Cain stared at her, his dark green eyes steady and unblinking. “If she feels half as much for me one day, I’d count myself a lucky man.”
Were they out of their freaking minds? “You’re just going to stand there and let him talk about offing himself when he hasn’t done anything wrong?”
“He will,” said Cain, his deep voice ringing with certainty. “The urges are too strong to resist forever. I’m not as far gone as Iain, and I already struggle to remember the man I want to be.”
“Listen to him, Jackie,” pleaded Iain. “This is the only way.”
She crossed the space, grabbed Iain’s shirt in her fist, and gave him a hard shake. “You listen to me. You both are too wrapped up in this insanity to think clearly. A little girl is missing. We can’t stand here and argue while those demons scare her, hurt her. You both are going to stop talking about all of this death bullshit and warm up those sword arms. We’re going to need them.”
“It’s too dangerous,” said Iain. “I’m too close to losing control.”
“So
am I, mister. If I have to teleport you back to that dungeon to keep you safe, I will. And then I’ll come right back here—without you—and find Autumn by myself.”
“I’d never let you go alone,” said Cain.
“Yeah? Well good luck keeping up with me and my magical space-jumping power.”
Cain’s mouth tightened in frustration, but she didn’t care how he felt. The two of them were going to help her.
“You can’t do that,” said Iain. “It’s too dangerous.”
“Says the man who’s looking to die.”
“For you,” he nearly growled. “My safety doesn’t matter.”
“But mine does?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then come with me. Stop fighting. Don’t make me go alone.”
The men looked at each other over her head. She had no idea what kind of communication was going on, but she wasn’t hearing a thing. Even their link was closed off, clamped shut so she couldn’t get inside his head.
“Okay,” said Iain. “Let’s go find the girl.”
“Just like that?” she asked. “What did I miss?”
Cain touched her elbow, and his ring vibrated so hard she could feel it in her skin. “Iain’s not coming back from this. But you and I will walk out of there alive, with the girl.”
She couldn’t think about that. Not now. Before they found Autumn, she’d think of something to convince him to stop this foolish decision.
Iain cupped her face in his hands. This was the touch she knew, the one she craved. As much as she’d thought so only a few days ago, these men were not interchangeable. She wanted Iain. Only Iain.
“I don’t want this to be any harder on you than it has to be. It’s what I want. A noble death. My dying wish is for you to save my friend, my brother. Save Cain.”
She shook her head in denial, but there was no breath for words.
“He’s a good man. Better than I could ever be. His soul is dying, but you can save it. You can save him.”
Dying Wish: A Novel of the Sentinel Wars Page 31