by Pip Granger
‘I wouldn’t want to trick him into anything,’ I offered lamely. ‘I don’t want him to feel responsible for me.’ I paused for a moment, struck by an extraordinary revelation. ‘I am quite capable of taking responsibility for myself, thank you very much.’
‘All right ducky, keep your hair on,’ said Freddy. ‘I didn’t mean any offence, but I thought that’s what respectable women were supposed to want. And they don’t come much more respectable than you, now do they?
‘What I mean is, I thought that if a man got his end away before matrimony, with a respectable girl and not a professional, then he had to marry her. And if, for some reason, he couldn’t do that, then at the very least he had to provide for her and any joint spring-offs. Now, I know there’s a million toe-rags out there who don’t play the game, but T.C. ain’t one of them, now is he? Look at his record.’
It was true that T.C. had looked after Pat until she’d died, and that he continued to try to look after Cassie, even though she often defeated him. He could have denied paternity of Rosie, and everyone, including her mother, would have believed him, but he hadn’t. And I knew for a fact that, when he was working, he’d paid towards her upkeep, even though Maggie and Bert had tried to convince him he needn’t.
He’d also often paid Cassie’s fines when she’d appeared in court on Drunk and Disorderly charges, and worse. Maggie had told me that too. He’d turn up at the cafe to hand over the money for someone else to pay, so that his employers – the Police Force – wouldn’t find out about his involvement and sack him.
Antony was right. T.C. really did do his best to be an honourable man, a thoroughly decent cove. It was only his humanity that sometimes let him down. But then, that’s what made him interesting. If he’d been too honourable, he’d have been as dull as ditchwater.
Our humanity lets us all down at times, let’s face it. I’d married Sid in a burst of all too human fallibility. I had wanted so badly to get away from home and to live a little, that I would have done almost anything. But marrying the first man who asked me had seemed the only way. Respectable girls didn’t leave home unless they married.
The war had changed all that for lots of girls, but not for me. My mum made sure of that. Defiance hadn’t occurred to me. Being an idiot, I hadn’t thought much beyond the magic ceremony that would spirit me away from the drab four walls of home and the cheerless piety of Mother and the aunts. Marriage itself had come as a bit of a shock, and motherhood as an even bigger one.
I loved being a mum once I got used to it. I can’t say the same for marriage, but then, Sid wasn’t really husband material. He’d tried, but responsibility didn’t suit him. He was a free spirit chained to domesticity and it stifled him. In the end, he’d broken free, and I wasn’t sorry, not really.
Freddy’s voice finally penetrated. ‘Are you in there, Lizzie?’ His tone was edged with concern. ‘You was gone then. Miles away and it didn’t look no picnic neither, or if it was, you was supping on ashes.’
‘I was thinking about marriage and responsibility. I was thinking that I didn’t think much of it really. I mean, if a grown woman decides she wants to sleep with a man, why should either of them be chained for the rest of their lives to an institution that doesn’t suit them? It didn’t suit Sid, and look what a disaster that was.
‘I wouldn’t want to feel that I’d tricked T.C. – or any other man – into that kind of set-up again. If I’m honest, I didn’t marry Sid because I particularly wanted to be married to him. What I wanted was a passport out of home and chapel.’ I swallowed painfully. ‘And if I’m brutally honest, I used the poor man to get it. Now that kind of thing never does,’ I said with certainty. ‘It causes bitterness and resentment and everyone feels cheated.’
‘Do you know something?’ Antony drawled. ‘You are one formidable female. If you don’t want all that, what do you want?’
‘I’m not sure. I just know that I don’t want that. A partnership should be just that, where you care for each other. The way that you two do, and Maggie and Bert. Perhaps it helps to work together,’ I mused. ‘But when the man earns all the money, that kind of equality goes straight out of the window.
‘Somehow, even though you’re skivvying and caring for the children, it’s never enough to make up for the fact that he earns it and doles it out. He holds the whip hand, he has the power. I hated it,’ I said vehemently, shocked at how strongly I felt. I hadn’t realized that I’d held any views at all, let alone such unorthodox ones. My mother must have spun in her grave like a Catherine wheel, spitting and hissing furiously, to hear such blasphemy fall from my lips.
‘Well, good luck to you, ducky, we hope you get it.’ Freddy thought for a moment. ‘Especially as we’re your employers, and it means we won’t have to break in anyone new.’
He paused, eyed the door and hissed, ‘Hands on your wotsits, girls. Here comes the opposition, with her rich bod in tow. She must be here to collect her frock.’
The shop bell tinkled and Cassie breezed in on a wave of expensive perfume and cold air. All talk of T.C. ceased immediately. Even Freddy knew better than to tease, and he was normally incorrigible.
‘Good afternoon, slaves,’ Cassie sang airily, then stopped, brows creased. ‘But you’re not slaving. Does that mean my latest creation is ready?’
The shop bell tinkled again and Sugar entered, smiling widely.
‘Can I borrow Lizzie? She’s wanted for a meeting.’ His smile widened still further. ‘We’re off to tea at the Ritz,’ he explained enigmatically.
‘The Ritz, no less?’ Freddy was impressed. ‘What do you think, Ant, shall we let her go?’
Cassie butted in: ‘Say “no”, then I can go in her stead. It’s been a while since I’ve had tea at the Ritz.’
‘Sorry, Cassie, you won’t do. It’s got to be Lizzie, she’s been invited specially.’ I thought I detected just a note of satisfaction in Sugar’s voice.
Antony finally got his consent in edgeways. ‘I think we should let her go, Freddy dear, then she can report back. Try to steal a menu while you’re at it, I do so love a good menu.’
Sugar told me all as I trotted beside him trying to keep up with his long strides. ‘Brilliant swung it. She called the club. We can stand the troops down. There won’t be any further kidnap attempts on Peace. She’s safe. And you and her are going to meet the Changs for tea at the Ritz at four o’clock today.’
‘Why me? Not that I’m complaining, I’ve never had tea at the Ritz,’ I assured him hastily. ‘But why me?’
‘Bandy insisted, said that Peace’d feel more at ease with you there,’ Sugar told me. ‘It’s to be Peace, Bandy and you, that’s all I know. Bandy took the call.’
‘So why have you got me out of work before lunch?’ I asked, mystified. Even I couldn’t take more than four hours to get ready for tea.
Sugar’s smile looked as if it would split his face in two. ‘When I saw Cassie going into the shop, I thought you might like to get out. And anyway, T.C.’s at the cafe looking lost without you. You could have lunch together.’ Sugar gave a little wave. ‘See you around half three, tarted up and ready to go.’
41
T.C.’s face lit up like a lighthouse as I walked through the cafe door. There was absolutely no mistaking that he was delighted to see me and I almost floated over to his table. The conversation with Freddy and Antony was fresh in my mind and as I looked at T.C. rising to greet me, my insides felt like jelly.
‘This is a wonderful surprise,’ T.C. told me. ‘Wonderful. I was feeling lonely for you.’ He held a chair out for me and his fingers brushed my neck lightly as he helped me off with my coat.
We found it very difficult to hide our feelings during our lunch. I can’t even remember what I had, except that it tasted like sawdust because my mouth was so dry. Our eyes seemed to be locked, and we were barely aware of our surroundings. Every time our knees touched under the table, a shock like a surge from Battersea Power Station ran through me. I found, as I lif
ted my cup to my lips, that I was trembling and I had to hold it with both hands. When T.C. went to the counter to pay Bert, who happened to be standing by the till, Maggie slipped over to me, her hands full of a tray of dirty crocks from the other tables.
‘Why don’t you two find a room? You can barely keep your hands off each other. I’ll have you know, we run a decent establishment here.’ She laughed and clattered away with her brimming tray.
I was blushing furiously as T.C. returned to the table. ‘Are you on your way back to work?’ he asked.
‘No, I’m off to the Ritz for tea. There’s been a summons,’ I said briefly, aware that there were sets of prying ears on several of the customers. ‘So I’m going home to choose an outfit. Would you care to come home with me to help me choose?’
T.C. looked into my eyes. ‘I’d love to,’ he said simply.
I explained about tea with the Changs as we walked briskly around the corner, through the alley and up the stairs. The relief to find the flat empty rushed over me like a wave as we went through the door. Peace was out. I felt weak in the knees and very shy and I didn’t quite know what to do next. I could offer him a cup of tea, but we had just had one. I offered one anyway, my voice suddenly so husky it was barely audible.
‘No thanks,’ he said, ‘but I’ll take a kiss.’ He pushed me gently back against the flat door and moved towards me. The kiss was long and passionate and neither of us could speak for a moment when it ended. I slipped round him, turned and took his hands in mine. I began to walk backwards as I tugged him towards my bedroom.
‘Come with me.’ I whispered, ‘I want you …’ ‘I’d love to,’ he said, ‘I’d really love to.’ He let go of one of my hands, dropped the latch on the front door so that we could not be disturbed, then lifted me in his arms and carried me to my bed.
We woke with a start to hear someone pounding on the door. ‘Aunt Liz, are you in there? We are just about to leave, are you ready? I cannot get my key to work.’
T.C. and I were still entangled in each other, the sheets and drowsiness and it took a second for our situation to sink in. My hand flew to my mouth and for a moment I had to fight the urge to break into guilty giggles. T.C. gave me a little shove.
‘Up, up, you hussy. You’re due for tea at the Ritz.’ He smiled lazily at me and stroked me gently with one hand as he pushed me out of bed with the other. ‘Me, I’m staying here to gloat over my astounding good fortune. Now kiss me quick and then get dressed; you, madam, are in a hurry.’
I did as I was told, put on my dressing gown reluctantly, and crept to the front door – making sure my bedroom door was closed first – and let Peace in. ‘But you’re not dressed, Aunt Liz,’ Peace said accusingly. ‘Mr Sugar said you left work hours ago, to have lunch then to get ready.’
‘I won’t be a minute,’ I told her, unable to quite look her in the face. ‘I must have fallen asleep. I’ll just have a swift wash and I’ll get dressed. How about waiting for me downstairs?’ I practically shoved her out of the door again. ‘You can tell Bandy and Sugar that I won’t be long.’
I broke the land speed record getting ready. T.C. lay idly in bed laughing gently at me as I fumbled with mascara brushes and lipstick.
‘You look gorgeous. It’s all I can do not to drag you back into bed with me again,’ he teased. ‘Come here and I’ll kiss you goodbye on the cheek, so’s not to smear your lipstick. Do you want me to wait for you here, or would you rather I left, so that you can pretend for a while longer that you are a respectable woman?’
I wanted him to wait for me, just as he was, but then there was Peace to consider.
‘I’ll get up once you’re gone, and I’ll wait for you downstairs in the club. Then, if you want to take advantage of me again when you get home, you can, and with pleasure.’ I finally, reluctantly, tore myself away and skipped down the stairs to meet my friends. My heart was as light as my step as I hugged my secret to myself. I had a lover. I had a lover!
And I was so pleased with myself that, for once, I didn’t stop to think about what Mother would have thought.
42
Sugar gave me a knowing look as I rushed into the club but Bandy and Peace failed to notice how flustered I was, thank goodness. They were too eager to get going. We took a taxi to the Ritz, partly to arrive in style and partly because we were running a little late, thanks to me.
The moment we entered the room behind the man in pinstriped trousers whose job it was to lead the customers to their table, we spotted not only Brilliant, but her husband Douglas and his brother Henry. All three stood and bowed slightly as Bandy, Peace and I approached their table. Very formal greetings were exchanged, and we were all careful not to look anyone directly in the face for more than fleeting moments. I knew from Peace that this would be considered very rude indeed.
Brilliant was the first to speak after we sat down. ‘Francis,’ she addressed the man in pinstripes, ‘please send the waiter immediately. We should like to order and, when we have our food, we wish to be left undisturbed.’
‘Certainly, Madam Chang,’ Francis answered, then glided away, signalling en route to a waiter with a snap of his fingers and an imperious gesture. The waiter arrived swiftly and handed out large menus to each of us, then withdrew to wait at a discreet distance while we made up our minds. I wondered how on earth I was going to slip the big menu into my small handbag for Antony. Our order was given and we settled down to some small talk while we waited.
‘How is Hong Kong?’ Bandy asked Henry after a while.
Henry smiled for the first time. ‘It is beautiful, crowded and busy. It has changed very much since you left, I think. It is even busier than ever, and there has been much building.’
I couldn’t think of a thing to say, so I left it to the Changs and Bandy to maintain the conversation. No one was addressing me anyway. Peace and I sat quietly, listened hard and watched from under our lashes.
It was a magnificent room with large chandeliers that sparkled way above us. Heavy, rich, gold brocade curtains were draped at the lofty windows and a thick, gold and red Regency-striped wallpaper hung on the walls. The floor was carpeted in exactly the same red as the stripe in the wallpaper. I found myself thinking that it must be murder to get the crumbs up at the close of business each day. The tables were dressed in thick, crisp, white linen, white porcelain china with a thin, gold stripe at the rim and the words ‘The Ritz’ emblazoned on it. The heavy silver cutlery and silver tea service were engraved with the same legend. I was dying to examine the pieces to see if they were EPNS or real silver, but I didn’t dare.
Waiters appeared silently on the thick carpet and loaded the table with plates filled with tiny, triangular, cucumber sandwiches, the crusts neatly cut off, as well as some equally dainty plain bread and butter. These were followed by a plate of scones, a large bowl of clotted cream, another of strawberry jam and a three-tiered cake stand. Each tier held a selection of cream cakes that looked mouth-watering. Finally, the waiters brought a rich, dark Dundee cake, and it sat looking sturdy and worthy beside those light, frothy, cream confections. The waiters withdrew as silently as they had come and we were left to our own devices.
Brilliant smiled radiantly at the assembled company and began to pour the tea elegantly and expertly for each of us in turn, first her brother-in-law and then her husband, thus showing their position in the pecking order at the table. Bandy came next, then Brilliant somehow managed to serve Peace and me simultaneously before pouring the last cup for herself. Once the cups were handed around, we were offered sandwiches in the same order. Finally, we were free to begin talking.
Bandy kicked off with a question in Chinese that I couldn’t understand, naturally, but it obviously startled Peace.
‘What did she say?’ I whispered under my breath.
But Peace was too busy listening to Henry Chang’s answer to speak, so Brilliant translated for me. ‘She asked if she could reveal to Peace the name of her father.’ Brilliant listened to Henry’s
reply with a small smile on her face and her head slightly inclined. ‘My brother-in-law says that she may.’
Bandy answered briefly and turned to Peace. ‘Stand up, child,’ she ordered, and Peace obeyed immediately. ‘Henry Chang, may I introduce you to your daughter, Peace,’ Bandy began, ‘the gal who has been causing so much trouble lately.’ Bandy turned to Peace. ‘Mr Henry Chang is your esteemed father, Peace. Douglas Chang is your first uncle and Brilliant Chang, your aunt.’
If I was expecting everyone to fall into one another’s arms, I was to be sadly disappointed. The polite acknowledgments of the introductions were as stiff as the introductions themselves, with everyone bowing but saying nothing much. It took me a while to realize that the really tricky business of the day was not going to be broached until we had eaten, so the small talk continued to flow back and forth between the sandwiches and cakes.
Henry addressed Peace directly. ‘You are good at your studies, I understand, particularly figure work. That is very good.’
‘Thank you,’ Peace whispered, hardly daring to look up and certainly not at her father.
Apart from that, the talk covered the weather, the food, the tea and a host of names that meant something to the Changs and Bandy, but nothing at all to Peace or me. None the less, it was interesting to hear about the lives of these unknown people who had married, given birth and died. It seemed that a great deal had happened since Bandy had left Hong Kong for the last time.
‘And you?’ Brilliant’s husband, Douglas, enquired politely. ‘You have no children?’ He knew perfectly well that Bandy was unmarried and childless, but it seemed to be a necessary part of the conversation for someone to ask the question, all the same.
Bandy shook her head. ‘Alas, no.’